He looked up, miles of darkness seemed to be the only thing encompassing the entirety of the horizon, he scanned the still sky, craning his neck and still nothing. Everything was bleak, dark. 

Empty. 

He laughed heartily, the sky must be in tune with him. Oh how pleased he was to find something else dark aside from what was churning inside him. He was glad the dimness above him did not offer him mockery, not like the luster in the morning with its rays of light that threatens to break past his fake composure. He cringes at the thought of brightness, he was afraid that its tentacles will find its way into his cracks, seep into him and drain all that was negative.

He doesn’t want the warmth that came with the light to out all the pessimism and coldness that surrounded him, he doesn’t want it to leave. He doesn’t want to because that was all he have left.

Jongin has nothing left but the cold and the dark.

He has nothing else but late night thoughts, cracking feelings, longing for that someone, and the night sky. Yes, Jongin still has the night sky. He was with a companion, it may not be solid, warm and breathing but at least he was left with something.

The night sky may not be him but right now Jongin needed things which are not him.

He needed things that screamed opposite of what was Luhan.

Luhan. The now familiar ache was back again. Jongin closed his eyes and laid on his back, he breathed in, then out, pressing hard on his chest.

At least Luhan left him with something.

He let a bitter laugh escape his lips. 

Luhan who was the brightness that pulled him out from the suffocating dark of before, Luhan who smiled at him without fail, Luhan who taught him of the sky at night and pointed out stars, Luhan who was a mess underneath him at night, a striking contrast against the dark sheets, Luhan who taught him of love and believing, the Luhan who left. 

The Luhan who left him with nothing but the darkness above and inside.

Jongin opened his eyes, the drabness above bringing about the closest thing to comfort. He wondered where the stars have gone to, the once bright sky of the night now nothing but a blank canvass of black. 

He now knows why he loved the night so much, it was not about the tranquility of everything surrounding it but it was more because of how alike it was with him.

He remembered that night sky with the stars gracing him with so much light that he nearly cried because of its mere glow, Luhan was by his side then. Luhan who glowed brighter than any stars combined in Jongin’s eyes. They were together then, looking up at the same sky, bodies pressed together, hearts in sync, feelings overwhelming. 

Then he reminisced about the night when everything ended. Closets and cabinets opened haphazardly, clothes strewn everywhere, Jongin alone by himself, and Luhan nothing more but a mere wasp of scent. The door was left opened, he remembered looking at the horizon which was dark, there were no stars. It was raining. 

Jongin was thoroughly amused now, if only the night sky could hold him, then he thought that they were meant to be already. He was laying alone and was feeling stupidly nostalgic, the piece of sky above him also looking alone without the stars accompanying it.

Funny. He was alone too. 

Jongin was without Luhan. Just as the night sky was without the stars for the night. 

Jongin was wishing, deep down, for a star to appear. He clung to a small hope that if a star appeared maybe, just maybe Luhan would come back and they would watch the sky together. He wanted the glow that was Luhan to come and find the dark that Kim Jongin was now. Jongin wanted Luhan to be his beacon, his anchor. For Luhan to be his once again.  

Jongin was trembling with repressed sentiments now. The night sky feels suffocating, his lungs were constricting, his heart thumping with raw anguish. Please come back, he thought weakly. Luhan, please. I love you. 

Before Luhan left, he told Jongin that one day when everything cleared and when the skies are dotted with stars once again things will smoothen out. 

Let the stars decide for us Jongin ah, let them write for us, let them thread us back together. Let’s have them find out if we’re meant to be. I’ll have the stars take things back. Those were Luhan’s parting words for them.

Luhan was cruel. He can’t even see a single star right now, how will you find your way back? Jongin thought. 

His heart was still weighing heavy inside him. He pressed his hand in his chest once again.

He closed his eyes.

He breathed in, breathed out.

Eyes still closed, he let a tear find its way out.

Along with his tear a shooting star fell from the sky, casting a luminous streak into the empty sky.

He let another tear slide down his closed eyes, staining his cheeks, his jaws, marring his heart. 

Silence. That was all there was.

Then…

“Jongin ah”

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A/N: ohh i forgot to add that this was inspired by my night sky talk and its tragic beauty with kat unnie hahaha ^^