♪ Na nana na nana na ♪
Nope.
♪ Nanana nana na na nana na ♪
Still doesn't sound right, he thought to himself. His hands and feet were tapping everywhere - the table, the wooden floor. His head was bobbing to the beat he was trying to make sense of.

Jihoon opened his eyes to the familiar sight. A monitor. A desk microphone. A mixer attached to the computer. This view was what he had been waking up to for the past weeks. Or perhaps months? He wasn't sure anymore.

A sight so familiar it's sickening.

Jihoon shook his head and brought his focus back to the monitor. He studied the project file on the screen.
One week. I only have less than a week to finish our debut album. Yet here I am, sitting in front of the last song, struggling to wrap it up. It's the last thing needed to be done to open up a new chapter we've all been waiting for.
So why can't I finish it?

Just then, someone's pair of hands touched his. He flinched before realising he had been grasping on his headphones a little too strong.

Jihoon turned around to find a frowning Soonyoung.

Upon seeing Soonyoung's small pout and furrowed brows, Jihoon had to smile even for just a milisecond. Being the happy camper that he is, Soonyoung's frown is rarely an unpleasant sight, if not endearing. Well, except for the nagging that follows.
"Why the sour face?" Jihoon asked while removing his headphones.
"It's from seeing you nesting in this place for such a long time. You'll get a headache at this rate," Soonyoung said.
"I already have one. Let me just wrap things up."
"It will take you an hour to 'wrap things up'. Just leave it. They're waiting for us."
Jihoon sighed in protest, to which Soonyoung replied with a hiss.
No use fighting him, Jihoon thought.

~

On the way, Soonyoung was relentless with his nagging, which in no way was a surprise. His remarks include "take breaks once in a while", "I see you haven't eaten the bread I bought you this morning", and "when was the last time you slept?"

Last night, for three hours was Jihoon's silent answer. That was a lot of sleep, considering the hectic schedule lately. Jihoon had been too caught up in the debut preparation that he spent most of his days at the recording studio. Soonyoung was not any different, as he could be found at the practice room before the sun rises, and long after the sun sets. Working on choreography, skipping meals, and sleeping little hours.
Yet look at him, scolding me as if I'm the only one who's been neglecting health, Jihoon thought.

Not long, they reached their destination, which was the main meeting room. Soonyoung opened the door to be greeted with the rest of the team members and several employees of the company.

"There they are!"
"I dragged Jihoon out of the blackhole," Soonyoung said in a sing song voice.
"Thank you," said one of the employees, which was Doogi PD. "Take a seat, both of you."

Soonyoung and Jihoon exchanged greetings with the team members as they walked to the empty seats.
Right after they were seated, Doogi PD cleared his throat.
"Today we are going to talk about the visual part of your debut. No, we're not talking about the choreography,"-he quickly added before Soonyoung can chime in-"but how you guys will look. Physically. From head to toe."
Murmurs filled the air as curiosity and excitement kicks in. Soonyoung started tugging Jihoon's sleeves with twinkles in his eyes.
"I want a haircut! My hair is getting too long," Soonyoung said as he touched his blond hair, which was long enough to be tied up into a little ponytail. "Yours too, Jihoon."
"Huh?" Jihoon reached for his matching blond ponytail in reflex. "Oh, yeah, I guess."
"Now, now, everyone." Doogi PD started talking again, this time with a paper in his hand. "Everything has been settled, so no negotiating!"

Doogi PD started reading off the paper in his hands, naming each of the members along with their assigned hair styles. The reactions were quite entertaining (Chan: "GREEN?!" Jun: "Not my lush long hair.." Seungkwan: "Why am I not getting any changes? At least a new hair colour? PD-nim..??")

Ignoring the shouts of complaints and objections, Doogi PD turned to Jihoon, whose fingers were tapping the desk at a fast pace.
"Jihoon. You..."
Doogi PD brought the paper closer to his face, rereading it.
"Jihoon will have.. his hair cut, and... coloured to pink."
His fingers stopped tapping.

Pink.
Jihoon repeated the word in his head, ignoring the wave of heads turning to his direction.

Pink.
He kept staring at Doogi PD, who had averted his gaze. Jihoon turned to his right to find Soonyoung with his mouth agape.

This is not happening.

~

Back in the studio, Jihoon was in his usual position: sitting in front of the computer,  hands on keyboard and mouse, eyes on the screen. The project file was opened. Changes were made, but not improvements. He massaged his temples, hoping to release the tight knot he felt inside his head.

Just then, he heard the studio door opening. Someone came in and sat on the sofa behind Jihoon.

He tried to focus back to the monitor and pressed play. The song he had listened to countless times entered his ears once more. With every listen, the song became worse.
All the notes are sounding wrong. The lyrics does not seem to fit the melody. What is this mess? What was I even thinking when I made it? Why does the song sound so damn... wrong?

Jihoon snapped.
God ing dammit.

He threw his headphones and shoved the keyboard. He pushed himself away from the desk, gliding backwards with the chair.

"...You okay?"
The other person in the room spoke, fully knowing that the question was rhetorical.
Jihoon had his head buried in his hands. He didn't reply.

Only after a set of minutes that Jihoon lifted his head and kicked the floor. The chair swiveled 180 degrees and faced the person sitting on the sofa.

It was Soonyoung, who had just waved at Jihoon. A wave barely seemed like the appropriate thing to do at that moment, but Soonyoung could not think of a better option. He looked at Jihoon, who did not look back at him - instead, he was staring at a blank spot, his face flushed and jaw clenched tight.

Soonyoung could not remember the last time he saw Jihoon this angry. There are things Jihoon would only do when he's mad. One: he throws things he usually take good care of. Two: he avoids eye contact. Three: he is shaking.

He watched as Jihoon shut his eyes tight, trying to stop his trembling hands. Soonyoung didn't know what to do, or say, but he knew that with Jihoon, when in doubt, stay quiet.
So he stayed still.
Jihoon did the same.

~

Moments passed. Both Soonyoung and Jihoon had been silent. The tension had left Jihoon's face, leaving it expressionless. He was staring at his own hands which were finally calm. Soonyoung, who had been staring at the ceiling let out a sigh. He glanced at Jihoon, who had done the same.

"What?"
"Nothing," Soonyoung replied.
"Do you have anything to say?"
"Not really."

Jihoon frowned at Soonyoung's short sentences as he watched the other person stretching his arms out, yawning like a cat about to take a nap. He looked comfortable with his big sweater and beanie covering his hair.
Hair.
"No," muttered Jihoon.
"What?" Soonyoung stopped his stretching midway.
"I'm not okay."

"...What do you mean?"
"The hair thing."
"What about it?" Soonyoung replied, sitting straight.

Words bursted out from Jihoon's mouth before he could stop them.
"Who the hell came up with that ty idea?"
"Pink? What, so I'll look like a goddamn marshmallow dancing on the stage?"
"They think it will look funny? I'm already short anyway, ha-ha, so might as well make me look like a ing five year-old?"

Jihoon stopped to catch his breath. Soonyoung's eyes widened before he let out a forced laugh.
"Hey, come on! I'm sure they didn't mean it that way."
"It's ing stupid," Jihoon said.
Knowing Jihoon, he usually does not get affected by a thing this minor, and would take out his anger on something completely irrelevant. Knowing Jihoon, he would never let anyone know he's having a hard time.
But also, knowing Jihoon, Soonyoung knew.

"This isn't just about the hair, is it?" Soonyoung asked carefully.

Fiddling with the hem of his sweater, Jihoon opened his mouth, and closed it again.
He looked at Soonyoung, who stared back at him, patiently waiting.

"...Lots," Jihoon chose to say.
"Everything is not okay. The stupid hair thing is not okay. The song is not okay.
I'm not okay."

Jihoon was never comfortable at the thought of sharing his woes. He felt that if he complained, he'll end up draining the other person's energy. He should be the only one suffering - why bother dragging someone else down?
But Soonyoung had been a special case. He's probably the only one who can pull words out of Jihoon's mouth. The strange thing is, he does it without doing anything. Just by sitting beside Jihoon, waiting for him to open up on his own. Just like now.

"I already... have lots to do. To think about. Something is not working. The song I can't get to finish. While we're so close to our dream... I'm becoming the barrier. It will be my fault if I can't finish the goddamn song. And I don't think I can. I don't know. And now they want to dye my hair ing pink."
"...Why me, and why not someone else?"
Jihoon's sentence ended as a whisper. Soonyoung felt a pang.

"Jihoon. It's not your fault."
"It is."
"It's not. You're doing a lot, of course you are stressed. In fact, you should. If you're not stressed, then you're not normal."
"Good. Then at least I know I'm not crazy."
"You're sort of, though."
"...What?"

"The amount of effort and hours you've put into all this, Jihoon? It's crazy. You work so hard, and it shows. I've listened to the song, and it sounds amazing. It doesn't lack anything, unlike what you've been acting nuts over."
"The song does not sou-"
"Jihoon, don't start on me. I know a good song when I hear one." Soonyoung stared at Jihoon.
Dumbfounded, Jihoon lowered his stare to the floor. Is it true? Was the song okay? Is it only me who is thinking this way, like a maniac?

"Because of the stress you are becoming more and more critical of yourself. It makes me sad seeing you this way." Soonyoung softened his voice.
Still fiddling with his sweater, Jihoon didn't say a word.

"...Can't you let this one go?"
Jihoon looked up. "What do you mean?"
"Let the song go. Stop working on it." Soonyoung said point-blank.
"But..." Jihoon shot a quizzical look.
"Okay, okay. Maybe not at all. At least, let us help you, yeah?" Soonyoung patted Jihoon's shoulder. "Though we might not have the solution, of course, because you're the best amongst us."
Jihoon chuckled. "That's not true."
"Just take the compliment." Soonyoung said with a lighter tone as he threw a cushion to Jihoon's direction.
Jihoon threw it back almost instantly, causing the cushion to hit Soonyoung's face. Soonyoung was about to protest when he saw that Jihoon was laughing. He hesitated before started speaking again.

"Soo.. I guess that's why you're so against the pink hair idea."
"Oh, yeah. That."
Jihoon sighed. It wasn't that he was completely against it, but the idea still sounded ridiculous.
"I know you don't like being in the spotlight. It makes you worried... because you think a lot. Sometimes you overthink."
That much is true, Jihoon thought. He likes listening to what Soonyoung had to say about him. It is pretty comforting to know someone who knows me as much as - sometimes more than - I do.
"But maybe... just maybe.. why not just do it? Just because?" Soonyoung said cautiously.
Jihoon looked puzzled. "Just.. because?"
Soonyoung nodded.
"Yeah. Like, screw everything. Be done with the song. Dye your hair pink. Screw what everyone thinks."
"...You know I'm not like that."
"So what? It's not like you shouldn't. Who would stop you from doing whatever you want?"
"Uh, myself?" Jihoon gave Soonyoung an obvious look.
"That's exactly it!" Soonyoung exclaimed, pointing his index at Jihoon. "This is your chance to win a war against yourself."
"...What?"

Soonyoung smiled, his expression bright. He abruptly grabbed Jihoon's arm and stood up.
"Look at yourself in the mirror and tell him you're not losing to him!"
"I'm not talking to the mir-"
"Oh, yes you are!" Soonyoung kept on pulling Jihoon's arm, trying to make him stand from his seat.
"No, I'm not."
Jihoon yanked Soonyoung's arm. The sudden move made Soonyoung fall back to the sofa face first. Not giving Soonyoung a break, Jihoon took the chance to start tickling Soonyoung's sides. Like a worm, Soonyoung jerked left and right violently, screaming while trying to swat Jihoon's hands.
"Stop- forcing me- to do- stupid stuff," Jihoon said inbetween his tickling.
"Eek- Okay- God- okay, I won't!"
As if he could force me to do something that ridiculous, Jihoon thought.

Out of breath, Soonyoung sat up to find Jihoon sitting back on his chair.
He looks tired, Soonyoung thought to himself.

"I guess you're right," Jihoon said.
"Huh?"
"I've been working on the song for too long that I can't appreciate it anymore."

Soonyoung smiled. He couldn't help but to feel proud of himself. Other people might find Jihoon hard to deal with, but for Soonyoung, Jihoon is a dear character he couldn't help but to care about, strangely.

"The song sounds great. Just let everyone listen to it already, I know they are dying to."
"I'll do that," said Jihoon. "Thanks, Soonyoung."

"What are you smiling about?" Jihoon asked.
Soonyoung bit his lips, trying to hide his smile. "Nothing."
"Weirdo." Jihoon scoffed.
"Anyway, I'm glad there will be a time in my life where I will be seeing a pink-haired Jihoon." Soonyoung said, still smiling.
"Oh... Right. I.. don't know."
"Come ooon!" Soonyoung whined, grabbing Jihoon's arms and swinging them left and right. "Let's just do it. Just because. Yeah? Come on. It will be fine. You will look fine, trust me. I think you'll look cute with it anyway."
Soonyoung was too busy shaking Jihoon's whole body to notice that Jihoon's cheeks were flushing pink.

"....Urgh, hell. Why not."

힝;~; my qt bunbuns.