WOOZI;

[Lee Jihoon]

Rubbing a tired hand across his face, Jihoon let his eyes close for a moment as he heard the chattering voices beyond the closed door. In front of him, a black sign with the name “SEVENTEEN” stood out from the stark white of the rest of the door and hallway. Having just come from his studio, Jihoon was alone since he came to the performance venue separately from everyone else.

The last couple of nights he had locked himself inside his studio to get some more work done for Seventeen’s upcoming album. In-between working in the studio and the group schedules, it wasn’t inconceivable to assume that Jihoon hasn’t exactly had a decent night of sleep in a while. He also hasn’t had any free time to himself at all, which obviously meant not having any time for the other members of the group, and ultimately means that he’s been unintentionally neglecting a certain black haired and teary eyed boyfriend of his as well.

It’s been two years since Seungcheol and Jihoon officially confessed their feelings for each other and became a couple. In the beginning of their relationship, the other members used to tease them about their “puppy love” because wherever Jihoon went, there would surely be Seungcheol following two steps behind. It was one of the most blissful periods in Jihoon’s life being able to call Seungcheol his and shower him with all the affection he could give and vice versa. Unfortunately, nowadays with the stress of Mansae promotions and the development of their new album, they were lucky if they could even see each other in the mornings and nights as the days drew to a close.

When Seungcheol was officially announced the leader of Seventeen and Jihoon the composer of Seventeen, they were ecstatic. Finally, those many years of training and delayed debuts were finally ending and they were truly going to start living the dream. However, while the newfound thrill of finally debuting enveloped the entire group and encouraged them all to work and thrive even harder for their goals, Seungcheol and Jihoon didn’t anticipate the damage it would be causing to their relationship as new piles of responsibilities were placed upon their shoulders.           

At first, it was a subtle change. They were still able to go on their weekly dates and cuddle lovingly together during the night as everyone went to sleep. When Jihoon was given his own personal studio he thought that he and Seungcheol would finally have a private place to spend quality time together without the teasing eyes from their fellow members. However, that blissful thought was eventually squashed as they both got busier and Jihoon found himself isolated more and more to focus on his work. The combination of the stress and lack of sleep eventually took its toll on Jihoon’s temper and his mood swings became wilder and grew in intensity. Often times, he would find himself accidentally snapping at Seungcheol for merely wanting to offer Jihoon some comfort and relief from the stress he’s accumulated.

The opportunity for dates also dwindled to the point where Seungcheol no longer bought up plans of going out and was seemingly content with spending time with Jihoon during the breaks in dance practice where Jihoon would desperately try to catch up on lost sleep. He’d frequently feel Seungcheol run his hand through his hair as he slept and quietly hum or rap to himself when he thought the younger couldn’t hear him. During these moments, Jihoon would try his best to feign sleep while fighting off the smile that was threatening to break out from his “sleeping” face. Thus, even though Jihoon was aware that he and Seungcheol rarely had time for each other anymore aside from work and practice, he didn’t think that the shift in their relationship would bother his boyfriend. That was, until his view was abruptly broken during the filming of Seventeen Project and the producer had arranged a candlelight ceremony.

“These days, I’ve found myself being careful about what I say around you.”

“I’ve become afraid to talk to you.”

“I think…you’re special, and I know you think that I’m special too.”

That night, tears were shed from both ends. Jihoon had never felt as guilty before as he did now. The moment those words left Seungcheol’s mouth, Jihoon realized how naïve he was to think Seungcheol wouldn’t be bothered by their lack of time together. Of course he’d be upset. Who in a healthy relationship wouldn’t be bothered by the lack of contact and constant mood swings from their significant other who was slowly starting to develop borderline bipolar disorder? Jihoon knew that he had unconsciously started shutting Seungcheol out and it had hurt the other. He hadn’t meant to but whether it was intentional or not probably wouldn’t matter at this point.

That night he was sure Seungcheol was going to break up with him. The moment they had some privacy to themselves, Jihoon braced himself for Seungcheol to call it quits to their relationship. However, contrary to his belief, imagine how surprised Jihoon was to hear a chuckle before he felt Seungcheol’s familiar hand ruffle through his hair and his other hand lifting his face upwards so that he was gazing into Seungcheol’s eyes rather than the ground.

“Stop being so tense. I’m not mad.” he said, before pulling Jihoon close so he could wrap his arms around his shoulders. Jihoon felt himself wrap his arms around Seungcheol’s waist instinctively and he shoved his face into Seungcheol’s chest so he wouldn’t have to look into Seungcheol’s eyes anymore.

“You’re not leaving me?” Jihoon mumbled bitterly, his voice cracking slightly near the end. He felt Seungcheol tighten his arms around him before heaving a tired sigh and they separated. Jihoon slowly wrapped his arms around himself as he felt his heart speed up, fear mixing into his anticipation as he awaited Seungcheol’s response. A few seconds passed where no one spoke a word and Jihoon focused on the sound of the beach’s waves to distract himself from the raging thoughts thundering through his head.

“Why would you think that? Never” Seungcheol stated firmly, a hint of frustration in his tone, “I love you Jihoon. I’m not going to break up with you just because we have a slight problem lately.”

All at once, Jihoon felt his mind turn silent and his body relax as the words reached his ears. However, it wasn’t long before his thoughts began to spiral out of control again, this time, seemingly at an increasingly alarming rate than it was before. Seungcheol wasn’t going to leave him. Seungcheol still loved him despite what an he’s been lately. But…they came close, didn’t they? If Seungcheol had to bring up these problems then it shows that he’s not satisfied with Jihoon and their relationship…right? Thus, this would mean that Jihoon hasn’t been working hard enough to ensure Seungcheol’s happiness the way that Seungcheol tries so hard to do for him. Not like how Seungcheol’s always tried to make sure that Jihoon isn’t too stressed out and eating properly. Not like how Seungcheol does his best to make sure that Jihoon is at least able to nap peacefully during breaks. Not like how Seungcheol always, always, always gives in ways that makes Jihoon feel like he could never give back.

If things continue the way they are then eventually Seungcheol would get tired of him…right?

“Sorry”, Jihoon found himself saying as he fought to suppress the inner turmoil inside him.

Another short silence followed while Jihoon continued staring at the ground. He heard Seungcheol give an exasperated sigh before he spoke again, “Look at me, Jihoon-ah”.

When Jihoon continued to keep his gaze downwards, he felt the shift in the air as Seungcheol bended down slightly so that they were on the same eye level. “Stop overthinking it. I told you I’m not mad. I only bought the issue up because I was afraid that it would continue to grow and influence our relationship negatively. It’s better to tackle the problem early on than to let it fester, right?”

Raising his gaze so that he was now staring into Seungcheol’s warm and patient brown eyes, he meekly nodded, resulting in an adoring smile to break out across Seungcheol’s face. He reached out to take one of Jihoon’s hands and gripped it tight before whispering reassuringly, “Besides, I have confidence that we can go back to the way we were before. As long as it’s with you, everything will be okay. I’m sorry too, you know? I knew you were stressed but I still bought it up. I understand now though, so it’s okay. You’re just doing the best you can for the team and I should be too. So let’s both work hard and be happy. No more tears…” he trailed off, seemingly thinking hard, “…unless they’re happy tears.”

Releasing a breathless chuckle, Jihoon tightened the grip he had on Seungcheol’s hand and knocked his forehead lightly against the other. “There he goes again. Always knowing the right words to say to keep me calm.” Jihoon blissfully thought as the howling thoughts in his head finally began to settle down.

“I love you, Ji” Seungcheol declared, his face dangerously close to Jihoon’s that they could both feel the soft puffs of air from each other’s lips.

“I love you too” Jihoon replied, before he felt Seungcheol’s hands grip his cheeks softly and his familiar lips connect with his own. They kissed for a while, pouring out their love for each other along with their feelings of guilt and forgiveness. Jihoon wrapped his arms around Seungcheol’s neck when he felt Seungcheol pull him in closer by the waist and begin to pepper soft kisses along his jaw.

Lowering his head so that his mouth was next to Seungcheol’s ear, Jihoon fleetingly wished to stay in this moment forever. Seungcheol never failed to make him feel so full of love, “Don’t ever change, Cheol” he whispered and lost himself once again in Seungcheol’s lips.

The following weeks afterwards, their relationship steadily improved as Seungcheol continued watching over him and showering him with affection whenever he could. Meanwhile, Jihoon worked hard to keep his temper under control so that he wouldn’t accidentally lash out at the others again. He also tried his best to come back to the dorm early as much as possible so that he could spend the nights surrounded by the members and Seungcheol rather than alone at the studio. However, despite their best efforts, their responsibilities with work eventually caught up to them again and before long, Jihoon found himself falling back into the same pattern where he was trapped in the studio no matter how hard he worked to avoid it and his mood continued to sour.

Despite Seungcheol’s continued assurances to Jihoon that he was okay with the lack of time they had together and told him that he’s made peace with the fact that Jihoon needs to immerse himself in his work for the benefit of the team, nonetheless, Jihoon couldn’t help the nagging feeling in the back of his head. He once fooled himself into believing Seungcheol was fine with the lack of communication and was proven wrong. Who’s to say it won’t happen again?

Thus, here Jihoon finds himself; Alone and trapped in his thoughts as he listened to the growing chatter inside the waiting room. Hearing the door click open, Jihoon lifted his head up to come face to face with none other than the person he’d just been thinking about standing tall and lean in the blue and white Mansae uniform and his makeup and hair styled to perfection.

“Hey!” Seungcheol greeted, as if he’s been awaiting Jihoon’s arrival the whole time and was probably waiting behind the door, before enveloping Jihoon into a hug. Jihoon immediately hugged back. It’s been too long since he’d last had contact with his boyfriend and he wouldn’t deny that he’s missed it.

 “You’re finally here!” Seungcheol exclaimed, “I missed you.” he whispered, so that only Jihoon could hear, the hint of joy in his voice not going undetected. “It’s good that you already changed into your stage clothes on the way here. You’re a bit late so there’s only a little less than 40 minutes left before we have to rehearse. Hurry up inside and get ready. I just need to go talk to some people and I’ll be back soon.”, and just like that Seungcheol detached himself too soon for Jihoon’s liking and disappeared down the hall.

Pushing down his displeasure of Seungcheol leaving him so hastily (even if he did say he’d be back), Jihoon braced himself for the onslaught of noise before stepping foot inside the room.

A dramatic cry of “Look who finally decided to grace us with his presence! It’s none other than our Woozi hyung!” were the first words that greeted Jihoon as he entered the bustling crowded waiting room. Deciding to ignore the unnecessary loud exclamation from one Boo Seungkwan, Jihoon opted to do a quick sweep of the room and found that the majority of the members were currently still getting ready with their hair and makeup.

Seungkwan, the group’s resident diva stood to his right with a mischievous glint in his eyes as the coordinator tried in vain to gain his attention so she could put his blazer on for him. Behind Seungkwan, Vernon sat on one of the couches provided and Woozi could see that he was currently scrolling through something on his phone, most likely Twitter. Beside him, Joshua was tilting his head to the side slightly so he could see the contents of the phone before Vernon showed him a certain tweet and they both burst out into laughter. Jihoon could only assume that they were laughing at something an international fan had sent them via Twitter. The two were always curious about what the international fans thought and took it as their job to monitor them as often as they could being the English speakers of Seventeen.

Sweeping his eyes to the left, Jihoon saw both Wonwoo and Mingyu asleep on the couch, their heads nearly touching as it drooped towards each other. They were probably ones of the first along with Seungcheol to finish getting their makeup and hair done and most likely became bored and fell asleep waiting for everyone else to finish. Looking at them, there were times where Jihoon couldn’t help but feel slightly envious of the Meanie couple’s relationship. They were both in the same unit and always had plenty of time to spend with each other. Jihoon could only wish that he and Seungcheol could be like that again.

Not too far from them, Seokmin and Soonyoung were goofing off while doing basic stretches. Shaking his head as he passed the two on his way to the makeup stations where Jeonghan, Junhui, Chan and Minghao were, Jihoon barely hid his eye roll when Seokmin started playfully tugging on the ends of Soonyoung’s shoelaces in an effort to make him trip. Soonyoung, however, immediately caught on and as Jihoon settled into a vacant seat beside Jeonghan, he heard a loud “YAH!” before completely shutting the two out.

However, before he could relax in the seat he found himself surrounded by two stylists, one already working on his hair and the other starting to pile concealer under his eyelids to cover the massive dark circles that had worsened over the past couple of days due to his continual unhealthy sleeping habits.

“Wahhhh, Woozi hyung have you been sleeping?” Minghao asked in amazement, poking his head out from behind Junhui to get a better view. His hair was still in the process of being curled into his signature “ramen” hair. Meanwhile, Junhui remained seemingly oblivious to the conversation taking place around him. Next to him, Jeonghan let out a soft laugh before turning to face him and examine his dark circles too.

“I don’t blame him for asking though, HAVE you been sleeping?”

Bristling slightly from the unwanted attention, Jihoon avoided eye contact before huffing out an agitated, “Yes.” Throughout his stay in the studio, Seungcheol had periodically texted him to remind him to sleep and every time Jihoon had promised him that he would. Unfortunately, that promise soon turned into a series of white lies and he certainly didn’t need the constant reminder that he’d failed the simple task from his group members right now. 

“If you say so,” Jeonghan drawled, the lack of sincerity in his tone evident. Obviously, he didn’t believe Jihoon but he had no intentions of pushing the truth out from him either. Mainly because Jihoon already seemed pretty down for some reason and he had suspicions that Jihoon’s mood will only continue its plunge when he noticed Soonyoung and Seungkwan in the mirror making their way towards them. Both wore identical mischievous grins on their faces, no doubt eager to bother Jihoon after not seeing him for some time.

Jeonghan couldn’t keep the smirk off his face when he saw that Jihoon had noticed them too and he heard him silently curse under his breath when he felt the two stop behind him.

“YO YO YO HOSHI MANNN” Seungkwan began in his poorly accentuated English. “YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS?” 

“YEAH, IT’S WOOZI”, Soonyoung replied, his English just as accentuated as Seungkwan’s.

“Kill me now”, Jihoon groaned, covering his face with his hands. He couldn’t cover his face for long though when he felt soft fingers gently prying his hands away. He looked up and saw the stylist working on his makeup give him an amused smile before his ears were attacked once again by “Boonon’s” “high quality” English.

“OHHHHHH WOOZI YEAHHH MANN, HE IS, IS, IS SOOO COOL LIKE, LIKE A-A”, Seungkwan stuttered as his mind struggled to come up with some English word he could use to describe Jihoon.

“LIKE AN APPLE!” Soonyoung chimed in excitedly.

“YEAHH YOU KNOW WHYY? WHYY AP-PLE? BECAUSEEE AP-PLE IS SO HARD-DU AND WOOZI HYUNG IS SOOO HARD-DU-WORKING!”

From the corner of the room they could vaguely hear Vernon groaning loudly, “Oh my God, PLEASE STOP SPEAKING ENGLISH”.

Hearing the complaint, Seungkwan stopped mid-speech, his face slightly scandalous and displeased as he tilted his head in the general direction of where his boyfriend sat looking physically hurt from Seungkwan’s poor attempt in his native tongue. 

Switching to Korean in irritation, Seungkwan huffed out an offended, “Yah, Chwe Hansol, if you got nothing nice to contribute then please stay quiet.”

Beside him, Soonyoung continued to snicker as he eyed Jihoon’s slouching figure. The aura radiating from him normally would have stopped Soonyoung from any more attempts of teasing, however, this time, Jihoon noticed with irritation that it didn’t seem to be working anymore.

Nudging Seungkwan lightly in the side, Soonyoung laughed mockingly when he noticed Jihoon’s glare, “You’re like a hermit crab, you know? Always locking yourself away in your shell and poking your head out when you get hungry.”

Cringing slightly from their joke on his workaholic ways, Jihoon’s glare deepens as he levels Seungkwan and Soonyoung with a cold stare. Everyone in the room starts to snicker as they see the normally composed Woozi letting a few jokes get under his skin.

Seeing the glare not lessening, Soonyoung comes in to digress.

“Aw, you know we don’t mean it. We’re just having a bit of fun since we haven’t seen you in a while. After schedules and practices you’re always running off back to your studio and locking yourself there for hours. When you do come out, you’re always so tense. Relax a bit, Jihoon.”

Seungkwan nodded his head in agreement before adding, “Yeah hyung, we worry about you. It’s unhealthy and you look so much paler than usual. You’ve lost weight too. Not to mention those dark circles. If you keep this up you’re really going to start looking like Toshio from the Grudge.”

“Yeah and not even Seungcheollie hyung is going to recognize you if you become ugly like that.” Soonyoung comments, before Seungkwan erupted into a fit of giggles finding the joke hilarious.

Contrary to the two trouble makers, unfortunately, it was a different story for Jihoon. All at once he felt his already souring mood take a deep plunge. That one was hitting a bit too close to home.

“Yah...you’re taking this a bit too far Boo Seungkwan, Kwon Soonyoung”, Jeonghan intervened, shooting the two a disapproving look.

Slightly startled from the dark look that swept over Jihoon’s face, Seungkwan quickly replies as he shoots a dismayed look at Soonyoung, “Don’t misunderstand, Woozi hyung. We just miss you because you work too much, that’s all we’re saying.”

Ignoring their attempt at remedying their joke, Jihoon muttered darkly under his breath “Well, I don’t miss you.”

Hearing the muttered response, Seungkwan placed his hand on his chest, feigning shock, “I’m hurt, hyung.”

“Yeah, well you’ll definitely be hurting now,” they all heard, before two loud smacks were heard as Seungkwan and Soonyoung simultaneously cried out in pain while clutching the back of their heads.

“Ow, S.Coups hyung!” they whimpered, as they turned to find a displeased Seungcheol standing behind them with his arms crossed. Immediately, the two shuffled a few steps backwards in the hopes of increasing the distance between themselves and their leader.

“Yah, what are you two talking about? I leave for a few minutes and you two are already spouting nonsense.” Seungcheol stated and continued exasperatingly, “How can I not recognize my own boyfriend?!”

Seeing Seungcheol take a menacing step forward, Seungkwan cried out, “It was a joke, I swear!”

“Yeah, we didn’t mean to hurt Jihoonie’s feelings,” Soonyoung added looking nervously at Seungcheol’s still advancing footsteps.

“I’m going to count to three and hope you two know to get out of my way before I do something you’ll regret,”

Seungkwan gulped before he and Soonyoung bolted to the corner of the room hiding behind Vernon and Joshua who were watching the scene in amusement. Meanwhile, the two stylists that were working on Jihoon’s hair and makeup were finally done and he bowed to them slightly in thanks before returning his gaze back to the mirror where he made eye contact with Seungcheol who was looking at him in concern.

Jihoon kept his head downwards when Seungcheol began making his way towards him. He tried to compose his face back into its aloof expression but found that he couldn’t. Feeling Seungcheol’s familiar warm hands on his shoulders, he glanced up to find Seungcheol smiling softly at him in reassurance.

“Aw, Ji, Don’t listen to them.” Seungcheol said, as he squeezed Jihoon’s shoulders lightly. Lowering his head so that he could whisper in Jihoon’s ear, Jihoon flushed when he heard Seungcheol’s cheesy murmur

 “There’s no way I’d forget such a cute face.” he grinned.

Shrugging Seungcheol’s hands off, Jihoon resisted the urge to slap Seungcheol a few times due to the embarrassing words being spoken in public. Feeling content for the time being, Jihoon decided to ignore the lingering uneasiness from the words of s and focused on enjoying Seungcheol’s warm and undivided attention instead before he would be forced to abandon him for the studio again.

TBC