It's one of those lazy days when they stay in the dorm all day long, doing whatever they want. They rarely have a chance to enjoy such days, but after the debut they've been given a few days off. They don't do anything special, just fooling around, but lately doing nothing feels refreshing for them.

They're all sitting in front of the tv, watching some movie. Hanbin is leaning on Jiwon's shoulder with his arms linked with Jiwon's and legs over Jinhwan's lap. Everyone seems focused on the movie. Everyone but Hanbin.
 

He hasn't had the chance to get lost in his thoughts in a while, so he's using this chance to do so. He takes a look around the room, taking a peek at every member, thinking about how each of them got into the team. He thinks about the beginning, when there was just the three of them. When all they had was each other.

Hanbin found it weird at first, being this close to someone. It was all new to him because he never had this kind of relationship with anyone. It was easier with Jinhwan, because Jinhwan was a hyung who took care of him. Hanbin never said it out loud though.
 

But things were different with Jiwon. At first they didn't get along, but with time Hanbin realised  that they were different, yet so similar. Everyday Jiwon reminded them that they were just kids that had to enjoy life, no matter how much stress they're under. Hanbin didn't appreciate it before but now he's thankful to him.
He thinks about all the nights they spent in the studio for the past five years. How they made their music, wrote lyrics; how Hanbin wrote his words.

It all started a few years ago when the three of them were preparing for their monthly evaluation. They were told to make a love song, so they had to write lyrics about their crush or girlfriend. And Hanbin didn't have any. He was desperate, the only thing that came to his mind were his moments with Jiwon. The lyrics surprisingly turned out well. It felt wrong at first, writing about Jiwon, but then he convinced himself that he had to do do his best. Besides, he thought it'd be his first and last time doing this.
 

 But it wasn't his last time. He didn't have any inspiration other than Jiwon. Other than the feeling of holding Jiwon's hands, casually playing with his fingers; other than how Jiwon's fluffy hair felt under his touch when he played with it; other than long talks they had at nights; other than the way his hand found its way to gently touch Jiwon's neck everytime he was around.

And then he remembers last year. Making songs for their album. How Jiwon's face changed everytime he read Hanbin's lyrics. The same lyrics that were meant to be for Hanbin's lover.

Jiwon knew, but he didn't say anything  and Hanbin noticed it. But what surprised him was that Jiwon never changed the way he treated him afterwards. He played around with him and touched him just like he used to before, without having the disgusted face expression Hanbin expected him to have. Things got even more surprising when Hanbin started to notice things in Jiwon's lyrics too. They were spending every day together, so it'd be strange if they didn't notice such obvious things.

But things got to another level overnight.
 

The night they kissed.

It's funny, because it wasn't a big deal at all, although it was Hanbin's first kiss. They were sitting on the balcony with Jinhwan, covered with blankets to keep them warm. It was the day after the boys left the dorm when Mix and Match had ended, and they were thinking how quiet it got without their friends around. Thinking about the possibility of one of them three not being there was scary.

 Jiwon being in the middle and held their hands, saying cheesy, dramatic things with a whiney voice about how he couldn't live without them, making them both laugh and beg him to stop.

Jiwon couldn't control himself anymore, seeing Hanbin laughing like this, holding his hand tight, so he leaned and gave a soft kiss to Hanbin's lips.

Hanbin responded immediately, without thinking twice. They kissed like it was the most natural thing to do, and Hanbin wasn't even surprised. He could feel the passion in their kiss and he didn't want it to stop.

When Jiwon pulled away, they both quickly looked at Jinhwan, expecting to be judged, but he wasn't even looking at them. When he felt their gazes, he turned to them and gave them a smile. And they realised that he knew about them all along.

They kept on talking and playing around without any awkwardness, and all three of them were thankful that they understood each other like nobody else.

Hanbin's lyrics started to have more meaning to them after that night. They weren't just some random words anymore. So, when the producers kept telling him how he seems to be on fire lately, he had no choice but to say that his inspiration came from the dramas he'd been watching.
What's even funnier, somewhere halfway through their interview they'd been asked about how Hanbin comes up with his lyrics and Jiwon jokingly said that Hanbin doesn't have any girls around him at all, so he just relies on his imagination. It made everyone laugh, but Hanbin couldn't help but wonder what would they all say if they only knew the truth.

Because Jiwon didn't stop.

He keeps on giving him sweet kisses everyday. He also started to feel more confident around Hanbin. He can’t  keep his hands off anymore, not even while sleeping. They both got used to sleeping together, legs tangled and arms wrapped around each other in a comfortable way.
 

They’re all over the place now, and even though Jiwon had always taken care of Hanbin, he starts taking care of him even more now.

Like when Hanbin sits on Jiwon's laps and Jiwon scolds him about losing weight, asking how it is possible that Hanbin's thighs feel skinnier everytime Jiwon touches them.
 

Or when he playfully caresses Hanbin face, saying that his chubby cheeks tend to get smaller:

„I'm sorry, but your cute face is gone now, I don't think I like you anymore,” says Jiwon, and it usually ends up with Hanbin trying to strangle him.
 

"Okay, fine! You're cute but just eat more, would you, you’re fading!" Jiwon laughs, and Hanbin can't help but love him even more.

It's just amazing how nothing's really changed between them. They're the same Hanbin and Jiwon they were before. They just have more courage to express their feelings now, but everything else is the same.

And even though the members know about them and seem to be okay with it, they never go far in front of them. They never kiss around them, they just act like they used to before.

But it's different with Jinhwan, they don't feel insecure around him because his smile that night has said it all. That smile assured them that Jinhwan will always be their hyung. Their family.

With time passing, getting closer to their debut, Hanbin feels more and more greedy when it comes to his lyrics, then he realises they have to start recording soon. He doesn't like the thought of someone else singing the words he wrote thinking of Jiwon. Giving those words to somebody else would feel like allowing them to experience how he feels about Jiwon, which he'd never want.

When the album gets ready, he starts to get paranoid, thinking everybody's going to find out about them, and all his hard work, their hard work, is going to go to waste. He blames himself for being stupid, for being an irresponsible leader.
He also starts to push Jiwon away. But Jiwon doesn't say anything, and gives him some more time. He knows that Hanbin needs space, so he gives it to him, even though it's hard for him too. It's hard, because he's used to being next to Hanbin all the time, working together, seeing him smiling, waking up next to him.

But Hanbin rarely comes home, spending days and nights in the studio. Jiwon knows he's staying there to avoid him, and even when Hanbin comes home, he just sleeps or plays around with the boys, not even looking at Jiwon.  But Jiwon doesn't want to bother him, so even if he has some ideas to get out of his head, he doesn't go to the studio when Hanbin's there, waits until he gets home.

Hanbin calms down eventually, just like Jiwon expected. He becomes sure that only a few people know about them and there's no need to worry. No one will find out.

But he doesn't know how to face Jiwon anymore, because he feels too sorry to say anything. He's ashamed of himself for being so silly, letting Jiwon down. What pains him the most is how considerate Jiwon's been this whole time.

He can't take it anymore though, so he sneaks under Jiwon's blanket in the middle of the night, and holds him tight burrying his face in Jiwon's back. Jiwon notices, but Hanbin is pressing his head too hard against him, not letting him turn around, so he just holds Hanbin's hands which are wrapped around his waist without saying a word.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please, just stay with me. Don't leave."

That's all Hanbin manages to say, and Jiwon can hear his voice crack.

"I'm not going anywhere" He whispers, and brings Hanbin's hands higher, kissing them and holding them tight against his chest.

They fall asleep right away, with their minds relaxed. They know they're going to wake up next to each other again, getting the nice sleep they haven't had in a while.

///

Now, here they are. The movie's still going on and everybody's lost in it except Jinhwan, who fell asleep somewhere in the middle.

Hanbin doesn't even realise when tears start coming. Jiwon can feel it right away though, so he turns to him, surprised, not knowing what to do.
"Hey what's going on? What's wrong?" Jiwon asks, holding Hanbin's face and looking into his eyes. But Hanbin doesn't respond. He doesn't even know why he's crying.

He just holds Jiwon's hands and Jiwon doesn't bother asking again. He makes Hanbin sit in front of him and wraps his legs and arms around him from behind,  kissing every inch of Hanbin's face.

Then he starts making silly sounds, saying "Oh my God, guys, Hanbin's crying over a movie!" But Hanbin knows he's just trying to cheer him up, so he laughs and all the boys follow, making fun of his crying face and imitating him. It makes him even laugh more and it's hard to breathe now, with Jiwon's tight hold of him.

That's when it hits him. Those tears came to him because he was simply happy.

Happy that Jiwon's his, that the boys are there, with him. Happy that they made it, that his mom will be proud of him now, that Hanbyul's gonna be proud of him.

And happy that right here, at this moment, he's at home, with people who are his family.