“Yejin, I have to take this call.” I nod with a smile while my hands were going through the clothes on the rack. He walks out of the shop, and I could see him chatting happily through the gadget. My boyfriend has never really been the type that would excuse himself just for calls, at least not when he’s with me. But I guess, he’s working on something that I shouldn’t know. Nowadays as iKON gets more popular, the last thing they would want is their comeback track, concept and everything, leaks on the net before it should. And though I’m Bobby’s girlfriend, we both still consider me as a fan too. And a fan should not know so much. No big deal for me though, I truly respect his professionalism.

As I tour around the boutique, he’s still outside. And nothing particularly catch my eyes, so I went out only to see that he’s not alone. Normal, I thought. Every time we went out (we rarely went out), he’ll attract fans. Mostly females. I’m a liar if I said I wasn’t jealous. In fact, we got into quite a number of fights thanks to that matter. But it’s stupid, I’m stupid if I’m still jealous after the 3 years relationship we’ve shared. This time though, it’s not a bunch of young girls. But singular.

I approached them carefully. “Hey, Bobby. Who’s this?” I said smiling to him then to the girl. Now that I’m seeing her up close, she’s really pretty. Celebrity-like pretty. So tell me how could my self-esteem not lowered. Nevertheless, I introduced myself. Just the simple ‘Hi, I’m Yejin.’ And nothing ‘his girlfriend’. I thought I was polite enough to get a respond, until she left my hand hanging with expression of annoyed written all over her face, obviously not accepting neither my handshake nor my presence. Retreating my hand back as I shrugs. “This is Hana.” I nod nonchalantly at Bobby. Then it hits me. She’s a fellow YG artist. “You’re on K-pop Star 3, right?” I rather exclaimed, relieved because Bobby wouldn’t possibly date a label-mate, right. No respond from her, still. But Bobby grab my hand and bring us quite away from her.

“That’s why I called you out.” He starts. I tilt my head with a blank expression. “I want to end this. I realised Hana is the one for me.” I didn’t respond. More like I couldn’t. Like the time, I froze too. I could only feel Bobby’s (last) touch as he hugs me. “I’m sorry, Yejin.” With that, he left. Goes back to Hana, talk and walk pass me. Bobby didn’t look as happy. Maybe because he never thought of hurting me. Or maybe it’s just me. But I hope he’d feel a slight guilt.

I didn’t realised the tears that streams down my face. Not until their back sight wasn’t visible to me. Not until I saw the stain on my shirt. And not until my phone rings. I took it out and it reads ‘Yunhyeong.’ What a perfect timing. Wiping my tears, I answered the call. “Yejin! Where are you? Let’s-“ I guess he heard me sniffing into the phone. “I’m just having a runny nose.” I quickly stated before he could rain me with questions of concern. “Liar. Where are you right now?” I sighed. “Mall.” No point of lying when you’re dealing with this guy, anyway. “Which? – Ah never mind, I know.” Before I could say anything more, he hung up. 

After settling down at a cafe for 10 minutes that felt like a month, the chair beside of me move as someone is pulling for a seat. “How did you even find me?” I said, not bother to look at the person. “Not important. What’s wrong with you?” I stayed silent but he says nothing more and just look at my face as he waits for an answer. “He said it’s over.” I say really slowly, ending with a sigh but he heard it. He shorten the distance between us and pull me in for a hug. I guess I’ve been bottling up my disappointment towards Bobby, just to cry it out on my best friend's shoulder. “Yunhyeong. He ended our 3 years relationship. I honestly thought today was going to be a great day after months of not seeing each other. I love him. But he said Hana is the one for him.” I cried out, finally breaking down. “Jung Hana?” He sounded surprise but I didn’t answer. How many Hana could they possibly knew, anyway. And Yunhyeong still continue patting and rubbing my back like I’m having my asthma attack as I keep on ranting

He, then walk me back home from the mall. Yunhyeong has been my best friend since our freshman year of high school. The next year he got accepted into YG and it’s the year WIN starts. I rooted for him because I knew he’s going to be a great artist. I was sort of his first fan. Every time, he wasn’t able to come for school, I’d be the one copying notes for him and whatnot. Sometimes, when he’s too busy to pick up his notes, I have to go to the training centre and be mistaken as a fan. But he cleared it up. The receptionist knows me. Team B knows me, as well. And some of Team A guys know me too. And that’s also how I know Bobby. Through Yunhyeong.

As we’re a block away from my apartment building, I break the  temporary silence. “Yun. Thank you so much. You called at the perfect time too.” I let out a small laugh. He smiles but that’s it. “You doesn’t have to come up. I’m pretty sure you’re busy.” My steps come to a halt when we’re in front of the building. “Yeah, see you later.” He nods as we hug and did this little handshake of ours. Before he go though, he flicked my forehead, hard enough. “Ow, what is that for?!” I shriek, rubbing my redden forehead. “For crying over something silly.” “What –” “Bye, Yejin!” He simply waves me off and walk to the YG studio, I suppose.

As soon as I enter my house, I could literally see Bobby everywhere. My mood that Yunhyeong help cheered up, fall flat again as my tears quickly pours out. The 3 flowers that Bobby gave is in the glass jar, looking wilt though I never forget to shower it. He said 1 rose represents a year. Then, the sofa that we usually would sit together. The coffee maker that I bought just to give him energy for his daily training through the drinks I made. It hits me hard. All this while, my life was Bobby, Kim Jiwon, Bobby. That’s it. I feel so pathetic.

I run for my room, wanting to escape the memory of him, but the room is where most of the memories were stored in. The huge Pooh bear he gave along with a surprise Christmas event, our first year together. “I know it’s childish but I love Pooh. I don’t want to love it more than I love you, though. So I’m giving you one after a lot of thoughts. So that when I hug Pooh, I’ll feel like I’m hugging you. When I talk to it, I’ll feel as if I’m talking to you. It’s like a thing that connect us.” He said exactly those words and end it with a laugh that shows his bunny teeth and him smiling with his eyes. I would’ve smiled at how sweet he was and we would kiss each other’s lips. But today, I could only sob even harder.

He had changed. During his Show Me The Money 3 period, he was also shooting for Mix and Match. 2 survival show at a time. Even with such pressure, he got more popular, and busier. Lesser time for me. He did come to meet me sometimes, but this one time. “Do you have to do all those s for your dreams? Your dreams are far more important than me, right. Fine, go after the fame, those s, your money. Go.” We had a fight and I spit that out. Control by my emotion. Then, Bobby looks at me in disbelief, leave the house and bangs the door shut. We never really hear from each other until he came to ask me to attend the fanmeeting in Seoul. But the feeling has been different since that.

The tears on her cheeks dries itself. She fall asleep hugging the Pooh bear, deeply wishing that it will be replaced with Kim Jiwon, the next morning.