Broken Sonnet.

I. Yoongi x Jimin

That in the autumn of my years has grown

A secret fern, a violet in the grass

A final leaf where all the rest are gone

Brown eyes that don’t seek me.

The audience holds a ruckus on Hoseok’s answer to the MC’s question: How would you describe Jimin based on his physical appearance? I honestly didn’t hear what his answer was but if I am to be asked the same question, that would be my answer. Brown eyes that don’t seek me.

Fans always look closely at your eyes. They know they are little, they know they are brown, and there are also those who know who they always seek for. Those shippers, I guess. But the beloved fans can only know so much from afar. They don’t know the dreams you have that can be seen in the gleam of your eyes. They don’t know the pain and wounds you are holding that can be seen in the flicker of light before you go back to being cheerful again. Cheerful for the sake of the camera and cheerful for the sake of the team. Because that’s how you are. That’s how you make yourself seem to be.

They don’t. And you must have thought I don’t know, too.

I know whenever you give me the same smile you would give our fans and it’s okay. It’s okay because I have always known. It just hurts a little more than usual when you would smile at him differently. He is the only person you smile differently, you know. It’s with pain and it’s with longing but it’s more genuine. It’s the most genuine.

You rest your head on my tired shoulder and I don’t move. This is where I’ll be left.

You are the laws that make my universe

I cannot change for better or for worst

II. Jimin x Jungkook

Stars sometimes vanish from our sight

Exploding, lost for ever, evanescent

Entrapped forever in the blackest night

Kentucky is but a buoyant state.

The locals are friendly even to those who can barely speak their language, the food is amazing but most of all, I love the sky. The vast sky that stretches into everything and nothing and when it’s nighttime – my favorite time of the day – you can see the stars all over the place. It’s like you can almost reach it, them. It’s like an entire map of black paper with massive golden dots. It’s beyond beautiful.

It makes me feel glad that they decided to shoot our next music video here of all place.

I smile and just like a reminder, I look beside me. He’s there – just a reach away, like the stars. He is chatting with the team, laughing and smiling and chuckling. I smile again and reaches to the sky and just like a reminder, it’s close but not really. I reach but I never did.

Perhaps it’s this feeling or perhaps it’s the place but I still smile whenever I see you and I still smile whenever I remember that I’ll never reach the stars. I reach out to the stars and I reach out to the empty sky because the star I am reaching out has long turned into black – has turned into nothing.

You are so beautiful that in my sight

When you are absent all the world is night

III. Jungkook x Taehyung

Because of you my mind has shed its winter

And taken you as the season of the heart

Because of you no dreams can ever splinter

Sone is the best unit of sounds.

It’s subjective. That’s the best thing about it. It’s a whisper for the world but it’s as loud as a nuclear bomb for you. It’s a shout for everybody but it’s as inaudible as a baby’s first word for you. It’s when I see you with him but it’s like a scene taken from a fiction for me. It’s when I dream you with me but it seems like a truth from reality. It’s when he calls your name and in a flash, you’re beside him. It’s like a scene from a movie. It’s when I call your name and I pretend you didn’t hear me.

“Hey,” Jimin is beside me. Smiling. He is always ing smiling. “Sleepy much?”

“Yes,” I answer even though I’m not. “I wish I can sleep forever.”

“You can’t, Jungkook,” he just has to tell me. Smiling. “You can’t.”

I wonder if there are still stars when we finish recording. I wonder if I will still see stars when we go home after filming. I wonder if I can still sleep and dream. I shrug and relishes to the coldness of the breeze, the coldness of the emptiness of the fragments of my dreams just beside me.

And though my madness far outweighs the cost

The recompense of loving is never lost

IV. Taehyung x Hoseok

But think, although my love might bring you glory

And honour, as candles strive with night

Out life is but the ending of one story

Netherworld.

I think all people are sad. I think, basically, all people are sad. Some are just better in hiding their sadness. Some are just better in smiling even if they are crying inside. Some are just better in pretending they are okay even if every inch of their soul is already dying. I think it’s a talent to be good at it. I think it’s a blessing to be better than everybody else, to convince yourself that you are okay even though you are goddamn not.

I stare at myself in the mirror, coordi-noonas applying half a pound of foundation to my face to hide the blemishes and ugly marks. They already tell me a hundred times to close my eyes but that early morning, I stubbornly open it and stare at myself. At the broken puppet before me, always okay.

I see you behind me, your makeup finished and sleepiness claiming you again. I see a string from your back but it’s not broken, unlike mine. I see a red string at your finger but it doesn’t end with me.

It’s going to be morning soon, one of the coordinators patiently reminds me.

I nod and close my eyes.

Of glory and of sustenance, all that might be divine

My alpha and my omega, and all that was ever mine

End

A/N:

The parts of the sonnets (the italicized words in the beginning and end of each part) are from Shakespeare’s Sonnet 16. Beautiful collection.

If you read all parts, thank you. Always, Elle.