It's just a short one-shot I randomly wrote. Kinda fast-paced too. The phrases in italics are the lyrics of GD's Black (the song in the foreword). Not really sure about this, though. Please tell me what you think?

Still, enjoy :)

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The color of my heart is black

It was burnt to black, just like that

Well, I don’t even know myself

So my hope for you to know me is a misunderstanding itself

The sound of the front door being opened broke the deadly silent that time. Jessica’s closed eyes shot open immediately to see what time it was. A small smirk was formed on her face seeing the small, digital watch on the night stand beside the bed where she was lying on her side. The sun would rise in less than two hours. What a time to go home.

She could clearly hear footsteps heading to the room. It was dark, the light was off, everything was silent, perfect. Jessica held her almost uncontainable urge to let out what she was holding back for quite long, and just lied there, pretending to sleep. Like what she had been doing for the past month. Just lie still and don’t move.

If Jessica were to list things Tiffany didn’t know about her, there would be too many. Jessica herself didn’t know exactly how many, so imagine it for Tiffany. She thought she had known Jessica. Well, it was supposed to be like that since they were together for almost three years. Tiffany should’ve known her better.

She should’ve known that the woman she had confessed to three years ago was capable of loving her back even more. She should’ve known that melting the cold demeanor didn’t mean that it was gone, but instead it wrapped her too inside it. She should’ve known that making Jessica fell deep for her was equal to trapping herself with no way out.

When Jessica loved, she loved hard. She thought Tiffany knew that. She was wrong.

What did Tiffany know, really? Was she that clueless and couldn’t even read Jessica, while the latter could do it to her so very easily?

It wasn’t her fault that Tiffany was too easy to read.

The bedroom door creaked open and Jessica erased her smirk. She was on her side, her back facing the door, she couldn’t see Tiffany. But she could hear the sigh, the sniff, the rustling, until the latter lied down beside her on the bed, with another sigh. Jessica held her breath. The scent, it wasn’t Tiffany’s. It wasn’t the one she was familiar with for the past three years. It was different. Jessica could tell.

She definitely could.

The bed dipped even more when Tiffany scooted closer to Jessica. She brought her hand to Jessica’s side, holding her, and buried her face onto the back of Jessica’s neck. Tiffany probably was still sure that Jessica was a heavy sleeper. Of course she didn’t pay attention of how Jessica had been losing sleep and having insomnia for the past months.

Jessica clenched her fists under the blanket. Nothing was enough. Tiffany wasn’t enough anymore. She didn’t pay enough attention anymore. She couldn’t acknowledge little things about Jessica anymore. And it angered Jessica.

But, not now. Not now, she told herself. Not now.

Not when Tiffany was already back lying behind her on the bed, holding her, unknowingly urging Jessica to hold tight on her and never let her go.

Ever.

-

Those lips are red, just like red lies

As time goes by, the language between the two

People are cunning, sometime become delusional

Really why am I like this, why

“Jessica…”

Jessica looked up in awe at the sight of Tiffany above her. Her heart raced, her breaths rushed, she was tired. But seeing how Tiffany looked at the moment, Jessica couldn’t care less about her restless body. She wanted to keep doing it. She wanted to keep pleasing Tiffany, because there was nothing could compare to it.

And because it was different. It had been different for some time.

There shouldn’t be anyone else that could please Tiffany like Jessica could. It should’ve been her, and only her. Tiffany was hers, she belonged to Jessica. It should’ve been like that… should’ve been like that…

But Jessica wasn’t stupid.

The gestures, the sighs, the whimpers… Tiffany’s hesitation was getting more and more obvious from time to time. At first Jessica shrugged it off. Probably Tiffany wasn’t in the mood but couldn’t refuse. Since both of them were basically busy and barely had a time for each other. At first Jessica tried to understand. At first Jessica was too damn kind.

Which means, no more for now.

Tiffany still moaned her name, still grabbed and kissed her, still complimented her at how good Jessica made her feel. But it was just different. Jessica noticed it. It was impossible not to because it had been like that for quite long. Tiffany wasn’t the passionate lover whom Jessica remembered anymore. She was now soulless in loving her. As if her heart wasn’t there. As if she was making a huge sin by letting Jessica please her. As if she didn’t want to be there, didn’t want to do that, didn’t want to be with Jessica. And Jessica knew why.

Guilt.

It was eating her insides. Clawing on her now weak heart, threatening to rip it into pieces if she wouldn’t stop being stupid. She knew Jessica loved her. She knew they were made for each other, or at least they believed so. She knew she shouldn’t seek for another because Jessica was the only want she genuinely wanted, loved, and needed.

But Tiffany couldn’t stop, so whose fault was that?

Jessica wanted to hate her. The moment she knew, she had to drive far, far away from their apartment to calm herself down. The disappointment, the anger, everything she felt at that time was indescribable. She trusted Tiffany. She believed her. She always reminded herself of how determined Tiffany back then when Jessica was cold to her. She kept telling herself that Tiffany loved her. Only her.

But again, she was wrong.

“J-Jessica, please,”

Jessica’s wandering thoughts stopped instantly hearing the plea. Tiffany was getting closer. She was panting hard above Jessica. Her slightly trembling arms could barely hold her still. Her hair sprawled messily. Her forehead was damp with sweat.

So beautiful.

And so Jessica went faster. Ignoring the numbness of her arm, she quickened her pace. Her chest heaved hearing Tiffany’s moans grew louder and louder in each . It was weird, in a good way, that Jessica was satisfied enough by just pleasing Tiffany.

Jessica held Tiffany when she reached her high. When she had calmed down, Jessica sat up, with Tiffany straddling her. Despite the dim light, Tiffany was still so beautiful in her eyes. Jessica had always loved this moment. After they made love, both of them bare, breathless, tired, it was beautiful. It was raw. And she liked it that way.

She brushed her hair off of her love’s face, admiring the beauty she could never grow tired of. She loved her. She really did.

“I love you.”

The confession rolled off her tongue so easily. If this was a year or two ago, Tiffany wouldn’t believe her ears and asked her to repeat it again and again. Because Jessica took time to actually confess her love for Tiffany. And when she did, for the first time, Tiffany swore she was the happiest girl in the world.

If everything was in the past, Jessica wouldn’t regret saying it. If Tiffany were still the same, Jessica wouldn’t get tired of loving her.

Hearing the confession, Tiffany smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Jessica was about to tell herself, maybe she’s tired, but she quickly stopped her mind from doing so. No, there was more than just tired. Tiffany wasn’t just simply tired. It was a different kind of tired.

Jessica was afraid if it could reach her too.

But then Tiffany kissed her, slowly, battling her tongue against Jessica’s, and whispered straight to her lips,

“I love you too.”

Jessica could only hold her tighter, kiss her harder, and try her best to ignore how empty Tiffany’s words sounded.

Why was love so complicated?

-

The real name of love is definitely hatred

Hope is the parent of disappointment and despair

Why didn’t I know that the shadow that has casted over my face

Was created from the light called, you

Both hands locked behind her back, standing behind the dark, tainted glass door, Jessica watched closely.

How the black sedan stopped at the parking area in the basement, how the door of the passenger seat opened and Tiffany walked out of it, looking disheveled and drunk, and how the one who was in the driver seat followed after.

Jessica just watched.

She had witnessed this a few times. Tiffany and him, Jessica couldn’t even mention his name. Jessica knew exactly what was going on behind her back, supposedly. If Tiffany, or maybe both of them thought that Jessica was stupid, she would laugh at them out of irony because really, who was the stupid one in this?

So, Jessica telling Tiffany that she had to go out of town for five days resulted in this. Tiffany bravely taking him to her apartment. Their apartment, since she and Jessica lived together. Jessica wanted to be surprised. She wanted to at least, get shocked even just a little bit. But no matter how intimate those two could get, Jessica just… wasn’t surprised anymore.

She just watched when he grabbed Tiffany and both of them disgustingly made out beside his sedan. His wild hands roughly grasped here and there, and Tiffany looked more than enjoying it. Of course she enjoyed it, of course she did…

Jessica wasn’t sure of how long Tiffany had been seeing him. She found out when things were already happened far between Tiffany and that guy. Jessica didn’t know what to do, at first. She constantly got angry at Tiffany for a whole week. But Tiffany wasn’t Tiffany if she couldn’t melt Jessica’s heart. So Jessica kept mum about that, just like how Tiffany pretended like Jessica was the only one.

She just couldn’t do anything to Tiffany except loving her. Even when she wanted to, she couldn’t. She was too weak for that.

But for him, well, it was another story.

Jessica turned her head following where Tiffany and the guy went. They walked inside, still attached to one another. Jessica stilled, her eyes empty, locked to both figures. Her self-control was thinning. She couldn’t wait any longer. She couldn’t just let it. She needed to do something. She definitely would do something.

After Tiffany and the guy disappeared from Jessica’s sight, she walked out from where she was hiding. Too easy, it was all too easy. Just when Jessica thought Tiffany and him couldn’t get more stupid, they just continuously showed the opposite. But good for her, though. Stay stupid. It benefited Jessica most times.

Pushing her hands inside her coat pocket, Jessica walked to the black sedan.

It should be easy.

It would be easy.

-

Someday when I’m left at the edge of the world alone

I might miss you

Someday when I’m tamed to the edge of sadness

I might regret at the end

Tiffany sighed as she stopped her car. It was always like that. She hesitated at first, but in the end she did it anyway, and regretted it after. Think about Jessica, her mind said, but she never really followed it. The moment he laid his hands on her, she felt like she didn’t care anymore about anything else, including Jessica.

Especially Jessica.

That was wrong. Everything was wrong. She shouldn’t have given him a chance to even touch her at the first place. She kept telling herself that she loved Jessica, but now she wasn’t sure anymore. Her heart didn’t beat as fast as it did back then when she was with Jessica. There were no more butterflies in her stomach every time Jessica kissed her. She couldn’t even get her mind straight when Jessica made love to her.

Everything was just… empty.

And it wasn’t supposed to be like that.

Jessica was everything Tiffany wanted. She was really hard to get, but was worth it. Jessica was very sincere, patient, loving, and she hadn’t changed a bit. Even though Jessica wasn’t vocal in showing her love, but Tiffany knew Jessica loved her more than Tiffany did to Jessica. Being vocal really couldn’t determine someone’s love.

Because here she was, late at night, coming for him.

Jessica was away for five days because of a business trip. Instead of waiting for her, Tiffany or course felt relieved because she could see him without the need to worry about Jessica. She couldn’t believe herself. She was actually glad that Jessica was away.

What was wrong with her?

It was useless in questioning herself. Since in the end she would give up and still look for him, or come for him if he needed her. Just like at the moment. He had texted her multiple times telling her to come over. It wasn’t like him, actually. He was a guy with pride, with ego, he usually didn’t text much. But Tiffany complied anyway. Maybe he was stressed and needed some to ease himself down. Since that was what them to each other. buddies.

So she came to his apartment. Since Jessica was away and all.

Great, what a malicious lover she was.

Sighing again, she exited her car and locked it. Still standing beside her car, she contemplated. And that was when the other side of her started talking.

It would be fine. Jessica wouldn’t be home until the next two days. Even if she stayed for the night here, Jessica wouldn’t find out.

It would be fine.

It would be fine.

Right.

Tiffany locked her car once more and turned around, eyeing the luxurious building. She parked in the outdoor parking lot instead of the basement. He lived in the 15^th floor. She looked up and saw the dark sky, feeling the night wind blew her hair off of her face.

It was cold. She should just get in.

Just when she was about to walk, her phone started ringing. His name was showed on the screen. Tiffany sighed, again. Was he that impatient?

She picked it up.

“Hello?”

No answer.

Another sigh, “Are you that eager? I’m already here.”

Still no answer.

Tiffany only shook her head as she started walking, “Look, you’re lucky that she’s away for now so I can come here. Things like this won’t happen twice so you better me right. , I can’t believe I’m actually coming for you.”

The front entrance of the apartment was some steps ahead of her. There were three small stairs and a small fountain before the entrance. As Tiffany stepped on the first stair, something suddenly fell down in front of her.

Tiffany jumped back in surprise with a loud shriek. Her hands trembled and her legs grew weak until she dropped down onto the ground when she realized that it wasn’t something but someone.

More hysterical screams and shrieks were heard from the people around who saw. A dead body was lying lifelessly on the floor just before the fountain. Drops of red blood slowly flowed on the floor. Tiffany was still too stunned to think, too shocked to look away, and that was a bad, bad choice.

Because she knew who the dead person was.

Tears rolled down her cheeks when she looked at that person, at his widely opened eyes in a very frightening way. He was dead. He was ing dead.

She didn’t realize she still had her phone to her ear all the time. She didn’t realize the call was still on. The last thing she remembered before she cried hysterically until people had to pull her away from the dangerous spot was a very familiar voice greeting her through the call.

“Hello.”

Unknown to her, Jessica was also enjoying the night sky and wind. It blew way harder from the 15^th floor, Jessica realized. Even more with the huge window opened, or more like, destroyed like this.

Pretty refreshing. He must’ve had a nice jump before he died.

Unknown to Tiffany, Jessica finally ended the call and put the phone inside her coat pocket. She crossed her arms and looked down. Everything looked like a mess, a chaos, a disruption in between the used to peaceful night.

But despite all that, Jessica was sure of one thing. That the thing she messed up the most that night was no other than Tiffany’s poor little heart.

ing hurts, doesn’t it?

Jessica smiled.

I’m going to go back to the way I came from, black

The summer when you and I were hot, it’s been too long

Fade away

Fade away

Fade away

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