try listening to outro: love is not over while reading this :) 

three years.

it’s been three years since yoongi fell in love with his almighty childhood best friend, park jimin. after surviving three whole years of painful one-sided love and affection, yoongi has grown immune to his emotions towards jimin. no matter how hard he’s tried to move on and get over the younger boy, he’d always end up back in square one trying to fight with his feelings.

jimin, on the other hand, has always been totally oblivious to what yoongi felt about him. and that was because yoongi has always kept his thoughts and feelings to himself. he was a very quiet and reserved person, and was an expert at masking his emotions after having gone through three full years of continuous heartbreaks and pain caused by the boy he fell in love with.

after jimin found himself the perfect and most ideal boyfriend, it left yoongi with the biggest wound in his heart.

jimin and jungkook were oftenly classified as a match made in heaven. the both of them were indeed the most perfect match you could’ve ever seen. it left yoongi with a bitter after-taste in his mouth every time he tagged along with them on dates or their monthly road trips, but he was happy. yoongi was happy because jimin was. it was as simple as that.

yoongi sees jimin’s beautiful smile way more often.

yoongi hears jimin’s adorable laugh every minute now.

yoongi feels the happiness radiating through jimin’s words even more lately.

yoongi witnesses himself break more and more as each day passes by.

that was when yoongi realised that he should leave. maybe staying away from jimin would help him slowly mend himself back again. maybe it could bring genuine happiness to him. happiness that wasn’t caused by jimin and only jimin.

his decision was final.

—

today was yoongi’s last day in seoul. it was his last day with jimin. yoongi felt guilty for not informing the younger boy about his plan to move away. he knew that if jimin was aware of it, he’d beg him to stay. and yoongi was aware on how he had the biggest weak spot for him. he didn’t want to be begged by jimin to stay because yoongi knew that he wouldn’t be able to resist his pleas.

yoongi and jimin were seated at their favourite cafe on a cold december morning. jimin was happily sipping on his americano while yoongi just sat there staring at him. a light pink blush made it’s way to jimin’s cheeks at yoongi’s gaze and he knew that it wasn’t just because of the cold winter wind brushing against his skin.

“why’d you invite me here today without ordering any drinks or food?” jimin asks innocently as he took another sip of his drink.

yoongi woke out of his trance and cleared his throat. “i just wanted to see you today.”

jimin chuckled at what yoongi said and leaned towards him, looking into yoongi’s eyes before choking out a ‘okay, i believe you’ with a squint.

after around half an hour, jimin’s phone started to ring, interrupting him and yoongi’s conversation about red velvet cupcakes and hot chocolate. yoongi nodded his head at jimin, trying to say that it was okay to pick the phone up, and jimin smiled.

“yeah, kookie? i’m almost done here give me a few minutes and i’ll be back. eat lunch without me, alright?” jimin chimed with an evident grin plastered on his face.

yoongi sighed as he fiddled with the piece of paper he had in between his fingers. it was time to go, he thought.

after jimin hanged up, yoongi told him that it was fine if he had to leave early. jimin thanked him and was getting ready to stand up before yoongi called out his name. jimin turned to face yoongi and smiled before asking what was up.

“i want to give you something before i go.” yoongi says, trying his best not to let tears form in his eyes.

jimin hums as yoongi lifts his hands and passes jimin an off-white envelope and a small neon blue bag. ‘to: my beloved jimin’ and ‘from: min yoongi’ was written messily on the envelope with smudged black ink and familiar messy handwriting while the blue bag consisted of a small black-coloured velvet box.

before jimin could ask what the letter and gift was for, yoongi coughed and stood up, causing jimin to stand up in confusion too.

“promise me not to read the letter until you reach home. and read it alone, please?” yoongi laughs bitterly, forcing a smile. jimin nods and bows a little.

before jimin could walk away, yoongi pulled him into a tight hug, snuggling his nose into jimin’s soft hair, breathing in his scent before reluctantly letting go. the urge to say ‘i love you’ was strong but yoongi had enough self-control to prevent him from doing so.

jimin blushes once again before pulling away from the hug and saying ‘bye’, then shuffling out cutely. yoongi collapses into his seat before propping his elbows onto the table and letting his face rest in his palms, trying his best not to cry. the painful ache in his chest made yoongi clench his fists as he walked out of the cafe with a heavy heart.

—

“goodbye, seoul.” yoongi whispers under his breath as he drags his luggages and boards the train heading to daegu. “please take care.” he says for the last time, a picture of jimin popping up in his mind.

and with that, yoongi never looked back as his train went full speed towards his destination.

—

jimin sat up on the bed as he his bedside lamp before taking out yoongi’s letter and gift from his coat. he just got back from a movie date with jungkook and was getting ready to go to bed until he remembered about the stuff yoongi passed to him in the morning.

he carefully pried the envelope open and took out the two pieces of letter and a polaroid out from it. jimin smiled as he picked up the polaroid picture. it was back when he was 17 and yoongi was 19. jimin had his signature eye smile on his face as yoongi carried him over his shoulders. the both of them were smiling happily, especially yoongi since it was his birthday that day. jimin placed the picture above the now empty envelope and went ahead to read the folded letters. the one with ‘for jimin’ written on the front. he raised an eyebrow when he saw how the other folded letter had ‘for jungkook’ written on it, though.

dear park jimin,

you’re probably reading this late at night, right? or are you not reading this at all? i hope you do. i’m writing this letter to you because i just want to say thank you.

thank you for always making me feel happy. thank you for always making me feel that life is worth living. thank you for everything, park jimin.

we’ve known each other since we were in diapers. i find it amazing how our friendship stuck on till now. i remember the first time i saw you. you were 3 and i was 5. you were the cutest baby i’ve ever seen in my whole life up till now. i remember your cute and chubby cheeks that i used to pinch every single time i saw you. that was when we were babies.

i remember the day you helped me put a bandaid over the wound i got when i fell down at the local playground. you helped me kiss the bruises better and walk the whole way back home with me beside you. the bright pink pororo bandaid you helped me put on was adorable. you were really caring for a 10 year old. that was when we were kids.

haha. i remember that one time during high school when you were 15. you got mad at me because i received way more valentines day confessions than you did. you didn’t talk to me for a week then. how childish can you be, park jimin? but that was when we were teenagers.

and my most favourite memory yet, it was when you were 17. you got me my favourite pair of headphones for my birthday. you even threw a surprise party for me at my own home without me knowing. i remember how you smeared icing all over my face and took photos of it before posting it up online. as an apology, you stayed over at my place and played video games with me till dawn and we both fell asleep in the living room. do you know why this was my favourite memory?

that’s because that was when i realised i was so ing in love with you. before the party, i was out drinking alone at the nearby park. i was thinking. thinking about my feelings for you. was it genuine? did i really love you or was it all just my emotions acting up? i remember asking myself that several times as i hit my head repeatedly.

every time i saw you, my heart would start to pound furiously. every time you smiled, i felt as if my life got a whole lot better. you make me feel so happy, jimin.

it’s been three years now since i realised my love for you. these three years were a mix of heartbreak, happiness, anxiety and delightfulness. it was hard for me to cope with the overly one-sided relationship between us. i didn’t want to let you know about how i felt because i was scared of rejection. i was scared our friendship would be tarnished and broken because of one silly confession from me.

let’s just say i rather be safe than sorry.

i see that you’re happy now with jungkook by your side. i figured that i shouldn’t linger around anymore. to be honest, i don’t really want to go through another emotional spiral. my heart has been broken enough. don’t feel guilty, okay? you did nothing wrong. i’m happy you finally found your match. i want you and jungkook to stay as sweet and happy as the both of you are now.

i figured out that the longer i stay, the thinner my endurance will go. i didn’t want to see myself broken, although i know that i already am. i’ve tried everything to move on and get over you, but nothing worked. i’m helplessly in love with you.

by the time you’re reading this, i’m probably already out of seoul.

moving away seemed like the best thing to do for me. maybe staying away from you would help me slowly mend myself back again. maybe it could bring genuine happiness to me. happiness that wasn’t caused by you and only you. i know how much this separation will hurt me, but i rather be hurt by trying my best to move on without you in my life than having myself get hurt because i’m not the man behind the many reasons of your smiles and happiness. don’t get me wrong. i’m supportive of you relationship with jungkook. he’s a good kid. i know he’ll take care of you.

i have a favour to ask you, jimin.

please don’t try to find me. maybe i’ll come back when i feel like i’m ready to face you without having my heart crushed into a million pieces. i guess only fate will bring us back together.

i’m sorry for everything. love is painful. and goodbyes are even more painful. but i refuse to say goodbye.

do you still remember my favourite quote?

“never say goodbye; because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.”

although i’m going away, i’ll never ever forget you park jimin. no matter how much i get hurt, you’ll always occupy a really big spot in my heart.

oh and one more thing. promise me that you’ll eat healthy and smile more everyday. i don’t want you getting anymore skinnier. you look perfect just the way you are. and if jungkook ever makes you upset or doesn’t treat you right, go ahead and call hoseok over to beat jungkook’s . you have my blessings. be sure to last long, jimin and jungkookie.

i love you so much. i hope you know that.

regards,
min yoongi.

tears trickled down jimin’s face profusely without him realising. he clutched the letter to his chest as he started sobbing softly. part of him was mad at yoongi but another part of him was terribly sad. he felt empty.

when jimin cooled down a little, he grabbed the blue bag and took out the black velvet box before opening it with shaky hands. inside it laid a beautiful silver necklace with a flat silver tag hanging from the bottom. ‘jimin’ was engraved on it delicately in yoongi’s messy korean handwriting. it made jimin choke out another sob as he his fingers at the engraving.

“i love you too, min yoongi.” jimin cries before sobbing again, this time with the necklace around his neck and the polaroid picture of him and yoongi together grasped tightly in his small hands. “i’ll always do.”

a/n: a sequel (?) on jimin and possibly jungkook reading the letter yoongi wrote to jungkook will be posted up soon but im not sure when ahhaha. my writing but i hope you enjoyed it! i actually almost teared up while writing this because i was listening to love is not over when doing so. have a great day tiny babs!! im thinking of turning this to a chaptered fic! would you guys like it if i made this chaptered? haha. anyways, follow me or send asks on my tumblr if you have any questions or if you want to scream about yoonmin or vkook together with me! love you all~