It was an ordinary move, a clock move, with every tick of it, you would move. Following a rhythm, doing it by heart but not feeling anything. You could say you were sleepy, after all, it was too damn early to be awake. Yet that would be a lie as you know why you were acting like this, you were wide awake, hadn't slept for days. When the sunray hits your face you will be able to lie, you would have a perfect excuse prepared. You have been doing it for almost a year now. No, not almost. Today is a year. That makes you stop, close your eyes and breathe, breathe and wait for it to go away. All the flashbacks that felt like a teaser without meaning, you don't need this, not today, not when you made a promise,  and you plan to keep it.

You were ready to let him go. You weren't like him, you kept your promises. Forever to you meant something, but it was time to let him go and move on. Because he had broken his promise, five months had pass since after you found a simple sorry in your favourite jacket. Because he was a coward. The flashbacks end and you get back to moving like a robot, no you are not hoping to feel him next to you, singing softly and wearing your clothes. Because, you need to deny it, to reject the way you feel your chest ache when you don't hear he plead to get back in the bed. It hurts, every time, after a flashback, your movements are slow and almost painful to watch. Because you can, you can feel him right next to you. And you are like this because today is the day. A year. A broken promise. Just that, nothing more. Because you will let him go and moved on.

Long, skinny arms hold you close to a firm, hot, body. It's instinct and the thought of him, that makes you move closer to him. The body holds you close and firm, and all the robot in you disappears. Because it's his simple mmm that tells you it isn't him, it's someone who stayed when he left, it's someone you couldn't lie to. You didn't move, you stayed close because you needed the heath, the stability. Him. He doesn't ask or say anything, probably he has his eyes closed. Or maybe he knows you that well. He has his face hidden in your neck and it's awkward because you hate when people touch your neck but he isn't people. He is the person that stayed, so he can hug you in public, he can stay in your home and be the first in your dialling. He can become what the other lost, what he would have become if that night one day ago hadn't happened.

-Living room?

You look at the living room and you see the sofa with the TV,  the TV that has channels and something you don't want to see.  Not today. Maybe tomorrow. So you look at him and he reads you like an open book and leads you to the chairs that are in the kitchen. You needn't have to say thank you as it was obvious. You eat in silence, a huge contrast of when you ate with him. He didn't like the silence and you loved his voice.  His first number one fan. But that was in the past. You ate in silence, sharing shy glances. It wasn't that he didn't talk because he did, but it wasn't the same. It felt wrong, something was missing, the voice was a bit too low or too high, it wasn't a voice that made you warm and happy to be awake. 

-It's great, as always!

A smirk, a kick to the heart and a broken smile came through.

-Thank you, Hoya. ..

It was in this moment that you thought how he might have stayed with you. When you could be such an . Didn't know why. You had been friends for a long time, he knows you before everything, he could be called your best friend if it wasn't that that place had been taken with the one in your heart. 

You once were so much more but even then you never were this plain person. Or dull. They say time heals but a year had passed and it is a roller coaster for you, incapable of forgetting and moving on. But today. Today you would say goodbye, let him go and try to be your usual self. It would be hard, you knew that. Because of love. Love isn't easy and saying goodbye to the air is hard. But you needed to let go and move on. Time was up.

It was Sunday, a calm and beautiful  Sunday. Didn't take the bus. Hoya drives there because you wanted to end it by lunch, do it as fast as possible. To have lunch in your living room with the TV on and then you are in the car. Watching through the window, you like being able to see the almost empty streets and feel the wind caress your face,  making you have a silent laugh, it could be a sad one or it could be happy for all the memories of him and you. Letting him go and forgiving him. It was bad but it was alright, throwing the paper of sorry to the wind. All in the past. You turn around and looked at him. And put some music, it wasn't the radio. Not yet, anyway. It was a cd prepare for these cases. And Hoya smiled and sang with you. The only problem lay that you had your eyes closed and you imagined it was him and not Hoya. Not yet.

The place was as empty as the streets. It was like it open for you, for your closure. You breathed in the autumn air and the ghost of a smile appears on your face. It was sad, saying goodbye to nothing and all but it was some bitter happiness that fills you when you thought of letting him go. And ok, time of truth, a small part of you was hoping and wishing for him to show, to be like your dream, this was your last hope. The last chance you would give him.

-Race you!

-Wh-what?

Hya was fast, he runs every day and train for things like this. Maybe a little harder. You knew he would win, he was a professional at winning you, at this. You were the opposite, the one who would walk and take photos of fleeting moments. But that never stopped you from running your hardest and fastest. Because maybe you could win. Maybe this time you cheated or when you felt evil made him tripped and fall.
So when you arrived at the top where he should be with his winning smirk, he wasn't there. So, of course, that throw you off, because even when you cheated he found the way to win he was a go big or go home kind of person. So that made you tripped in confusion, not because you were a little bit of a dork, not sir. You were prepared for the pain, used to the fall, it was common as breathing for you. But the fall didn't come. Instead, strong arms came to the rescue, and with closed eyes, you thought it was Hoya so you hold stronger and been grateful that he was fast enough to catch you. 

-Easy there tiger

And you forget how to breathe, his touch it's just like you remember, like fire. Didn't know if in a good way. Doesn't matter because you need the space. Five steps and if he takes one you take two back. Never close enough. Your eyes are open and lost. Because there he is. Black gap, black ray bans, black mask, he is hidden in black but you know it's him. You would always know. He is smirking but you can't see it, yet you know its there, you know him inside out, you know how his hands move when he laughs, how his legs twitch when he is crying, you know him as if he was you. Oh, you can see how fake and broken it is, you can see the doubt in his nervous fingers, in the way he keeps movings his feet, he is nervous, he is guilty and real, and there, and you can't breathe. And in some other time, you would have gone and hug him and fix everything, but now five steps are setting you apart and your hands want to punch him. You just want to hit him but you can't breathe. 

-In my defence old ladies hate me

You don't notice Hoya, even though you want to run to him and hide in his arms and reject the black in front of you

-Myung...?

Yet you can't look away, it may be all black but you see behind all that, you see the chocolate eyes, you see the smile that you love, you see the boy who broke you to ashes. So Hoya looks to where you are looking and you feel it. You feel the hatred in his voice and you wince in pain. Because it hurts to hear it. Hear the truth of the pain or the hate that Hoya has kept a secret since a year ago.

-Nam

Nam Woohyun isn't looking at Hoya. He has eyes only for you and it's unnerving. And you want some payback and you don't think it through. But it felt like that. Because when Nam spoke you acted as it was synchronized.

-Lee

You grab Hoya hand, intertwining your fingers and you pull Hoya with you leaving him all alone. Your eyes sting and in your dreams, you never thought about the pain he created and all that happened in a year, you erased all the bad. That is why dreams are better than reality. Hoya followed you, of course, you saw the smirk Hoya send to Woohyun and the way that the smirk disappears from Woohyun face. You felt as bad as good as it felt. Because he hurts you and it was time he felt the same. It wasn't as you thought open arms and falling back like a year ago. No, it was pain and hate that fill you. And a blurry sight because maybe you had something in your eyes.

It wasn't hard finding it, you knew where it was, didn't mean a thing if there were more of them than before. You would always know where you sealed your promises. Because maybe, just maybe, you would come here on lonely Sunday afternoon, to hide from the reality that had been this year, wanting to hold what little you had of him. Today was a Sunday afternoon and today you would open it and set everything free. Your hands reached for it with doubtful, slow moves, grabbing the heart lock that held all your promises. It was after all the place where all couples went to promise love forever and only a few kept that promises. It was at that moment you thought of all the people who had to do the same as you and now you saw the place for what it was, ugly. You needed two keys, how could you forget that? The most important part of everything. You cursed under your breath, bit your lips and as you now knew, you turned around and went to him with an extended hand.

-Key?

-What?

He looked so lost and broken, and it wasn't fair because you were the one he left behind crying and begging. No, it wasn't. But that didn't change your need to go and hold him. You didn't. Hands were shaken slightly and cold eyes. The mask of L.

-What for?

-You know...to open the locket

His eyes went through different stages from sad to angry and landing in a brightness that brought you memories of alcohol and bravery. And you knew, of course, you knew. And maybe was the stupid hope and your stupid heart.

-Don't have it

Lies

-What?

-I. Don't. Have. It.

-Fine

And more lies.

You let him lie. He had it with him because he came and his hand was close to his right pocket but most of all because you knew him. He would lie to have extra time. However, the problem with his plan lay that the clock was up and there wasn't any extra time. Hoya was looking you with owl eyes and Woohyun had hope in his eyes, that dies when they saw you smirk. Two could play this game. Like going to the locket and opening your side of it and then throwing the key.

-Fine.

You left, your heart was beating in a way it hadn't a long time. It felt ecstatic, happy and with hope. Because it was a new beginning, and you had faith that this would be a good new start. The truth was you didn't close your eyes because if you did you will see the start with him, it wasn't easy to let go of the person that was once your forever. It was a touch you hadn't felt in too long, a heath that you had missed even in summer, a pair of lips that left you breathless with only having them looming above you. It was hard and passionate, his kiss was as you remember desperate, against time and with a promise of true love, and at that moment you thought of the way he kissed you, told you the truth, that you denied every single time.  Almost, for a nanosecond you forgot everything and you almost responded. But you opened your eyes because it felt so right and good but it hurt like hell and your tears, he couldn't stop them all. You push him away. With one hand grabbing his shirt.

-No!

You let him go. He grabbed you.

-Let me go...please

Begging, broken and desperate you wanted to run away. He saw you like that and his force disappear. You ran, not waiting for Hoya and going faster than ever. Needing to breathe. So you ran without turning back and saying fast sorry so you could escape. Almost there, you could feel it. But then a harsh body came against you and you fell. With that body holding you in your fall. It was a soft fall with a quiet hump.

-Sorry...Hyung?!

Opening your eyes to see a friendly pouting face. Didn't expect that one. You got up as fast as you could and helped your brother up, he hasn't said anything yet and you were expecting the ranting that would come. Because he could be young and old in his heart and mind.

-Next time you ran away could you please try avoiding me, please?

He opened his eyes right at that moment and even if people said he had small eyes you could see that when he was surprised his eyes could be call big, or almost big.

-Myung?...and Hyun?

-What?

-Oh..we should probably talk

-Probably

When the effect of surprise passed you see it as it was, weird because it didn't make sense that he was there and also he asked for one Nam Woohyun. So yes, of course, you needed to talk. And also because he was your Hyung and could help you with the dilemma.
You went to a cafe nearby, bought something because maybe you could pretend this was normal or that you could eat. It took a moment for him to look you in the eye and for you to ask for an explanation.

-He is sorry

-Too damn late

It got out harsher and bitter that you would think you could be capable of. It felt like a lie. Maybe it was.

-I know the truth do you want to hear it?

-No

Bit the upper lip and try to hide the truth.

-He should be telling it to me

-But alas he isn't here because you ran away...so take it or leave it

And it wasn't a word it was just an act. A simple nod that left you breathless.

-First of all, it isn't his truth it's mine...you see I knew that he was leaving and I told him to go for it that day, to kiss you

-What?!

Shocked could be the understatement of the year because you didn't saw that one coming, in a blink of eyes you see it. You see him been quiet when Hoya talks badly about Woohyun, you saw him talking about Woohyun and you could see it all. The knowing eyes. And you feel as betrayed as angry.

-I wanted to tell you but I couldn't I, as you, he made me promise to not tell you until the time was right. He thought you wouldn't accept him, so dumb of him, and when you accepted him he was so happy but so sad because he had one day

And yes you close your eyes and you see a surprised Woohyun when you respond to the kiss, a hug that came too fast and maybe he has hidden the pain he was bearing since moment one. And it's like stitch by stitch in your heart starts to get better. It hurts as alcohol but it heals with every word.

-He made the most of that day and that promise it had so many echoes with giving it a year. He had a year to come back to you. It was the best day of his life according to him, I know because he won't shut up about it. It's on repeat for him.

-He could have told me, I could have waited and understood. Instead, he left me to find out on tv about the great singer Nam Woohyun and it hurt...Hyung it hurt!

He closes his eyes and you see the pain on his face, it feels like a reflection.

-I can't say I understand why he did that, I think he saw one too many dramas. He wanted to contact you but he said time wasn't right, not yet. He told me that if he left you as he did, he should come back in a big way to be at your level, to be able to ask for forgiveness.  Also, he didn't want you to suffer his life, this life that you know how it is. Especially in the first year.

And of course, you knew because after all you were the brother of Kim Sungkyu and you had to endure horrible things and you couldn't see him properly after almost two years of being a singer, of becoming one of the best there are. You could understand the stupid of Nam Woohyun but that didn't change how much he hurt you, he broke you, you were lost. About what to do.

Sungkyu is looking over your shoulder and you turn around and there he is with red eyes and without any blackness that hides him. He is there without smirks and you see him broken. And like a cliche in the television, he appears singing time and you can feel your heart beating.

-Didn't wanted to let you down

You go to him, walking or running, doesn't matter. He holds you and you hit him hard in the face. And he just laughs and you need to shut him up. So you kiss him, you kiss him like a man needs water and air to survive, and he kisses you like you were the sun and the moon that had been hidden away by the clouds. Pull him closers if possible. Bit, tongue, teeth, and tears. It's so dramatic.  When you pull only your lips lose contact, exchanging air. Hoya passes by your right with the turn of eyes and probably going to one Kim Sungkyu. He is smiling and you laugh because you have him back.

-Fool

-Yes, but your fool?

You have a tiny smirk, and you move your right hand like a snake. And you pull in the middle of you two a key.

-Forever

XxxxX
Hellooooooo!! How are you? So here it is. And in all honesty, I don't know what it is that I write, I just started a little idea and it grew, I didn't want to disappoint you, so I wrote as I knew, and I hope you like it. I really hope. So please tell me what you thought about it. Thank you so much for reading it and giving it a chance!! See you!!

WOW its really long...or maybe not