WARNING - don't read if you get emotional easily bc i already warn you ; v ;

Edit - this was suppose to be a drabble but i guess i was wrong and it turn to some 3k emotional monster

Jeongguk start to tune out the English teacher as he doesn't exactly give a damn about English nor the lesson nonetheless. Usually if he get stuck with any type of homework, he'll have Namjoon to back him up and cram his work in one night. Magically enough, Jeongguk memorized most of whatever Namjoon teachers in one night before exams so it's quite an win-win situation.

However, not paying to the lesson is a normal thing but spotting a ghost is another thing. Jeongguk doesn't exactly believe in ghosts or anything like that. But here he is, staring out the class window at the giant blossom tree that the school own (and known for), a boy is laying on his back on one of the branch. He look older than Jeongguk, but not too old, maybe entering his early 20s. He had caramel mix with chesnut brown hair, it look very silk too.. to say the least. He have all his body parts alright, and here Jeongguk thought that ghost only have their upper half and disappear the lower half (or missing some body parts), turn out he was wrong. But the boy, however, is transparent. He's not moving or anything, his eyes is close so Jeongguk deem that he's sleeping. Who knows ghosts can sleep. Jeongguk doesn't really do anything beside rubbing his eyes various time to make sure he's not hallunciating from all the study stress, and he wasn't.

The boy shift his torso and roll over, laying on his stomach instad of his back now. Jeongguk find it strange, doesn't ghosts suppose to move on in the afterlife when they die or something? He then decides to go see the ghost up close when lunch come because every time he get curious about something, he need to know everything about it.

Once the bell rang for lunch, Jeongguk shove everything that's been laying messily on his desk into his backpack and rush out the class, not exactly caring what the teacher's saying. Something about tonight's homework but he can deal with that another time.

Reaching the giant blossom tree, Jeongguk notice there's people whose gather around udner the tree having lunch with their friends was more than he expected. He thought there would at least be one or two people but no, it's like half the school is under the tree having lunch. That doesn't exactly bother him, he look up at the tree to search for the ghost boy but there's no sight of him.

'Weird,' Jeongguk thought as he walk away from the tree and behind the school instead. Usually he would sit in his class to eat but he's too lazy to even walk up all the stairs now so he'll just sit behind school. There would always this one spot that hidden him from others, mostly gangs and drug dealer, and sometime it's a serene spot to eat lunch if he want some alone time.

It's not that Jeongguk doesn't have friend, oh he does. A lot in fact. But it's not like a best friend kind or the twin friend that get in trouble kind either, they're just classmates.. acquaintance is a better word.

He does have some close friends like Hoseok or Jimin or maybe Yoongi but Yoongi never really talk about anything beside sitting there in silence and making songs in his workbook. Jimin only pissed Jeongguk off because of his clinginess but he's a good friend and a good hyung (also Jeongguk comes to him when he's having love problems). Hoseok rarely hang out with him nowadays because his showcase for the school is emerging so he can only focus on practicing his dancing and Jimin promised to help him. So that leaves Jeongguk alone for the next couple months and he gotta admit, he feel lonely sometime because there's no constant screaming from Hoseoki or that bright laughter from Jimin but he's doing alright by himself. He just need to get by all the lessons and the harsh day.

As Jeongguk approach his usual hiding spot, he notice a pair of legs. Someone's sitting in his usual spot. That, and the person is special because their legs are transparent which Jeongguk can only think of one person who own transparent legs.. ghost boy.

He dash to his sitting spot and it startle the person sitting in his spot since Jeongguk just appear out of nowhere like batman. It is indeed ghost boy. Jeongguk expect that the ghost boy will be here but the thing he didn't expect was that the ghost boy were cute, he look like a normal person, if you don't count the transparency.

Aside from his silky brown hair which Jeongguk can tell from far away in his calssroom, but it look shiny and silkier once he's up close. The boy have big dark brown eyes which somewhat very dull like black holes but alluring and it's Jeongguk in. His lips is very pale (no from a ghost) but there's a hint of pink between them, blending in nicely with the pale white. The boy is wearing an oversize sweatshirt and an oversize pant. Jeongguk would usually wonder how can people wear sweatshirt or long pant because it's hot as since it's still summer but for ghost, there's really no exception. They get to wear whatever. This is a fashion that scream 'HOBO' but it fits him for some strange reasons and jeongguk can't seem to find out why it fit him. Jeongguk hope that not all ghost look this fine because he's lowkey loving how the ghost boy look, how perfect his jawline is and how perfectly shape his face are and how fit his body look even if they're hidding under a bunch of oversize .

"Whoa" Jeonggukk said unconsciously causing the ghost boy to blink rapidly at him with a lost and confusing look in his eyes, replacing the alluring look.

"Wait.. you can see me?" ghost boy ask and stand up properly so they can be the same height, face to face. Well, not exactly standing up like normal person, ghost boy just float three inches off the ground standing up mid air then lower himself down on the ground.

Jeongguk realize what's happening in reality and it's not his brain playing with him, he nod, not wanting respond as he's too nervous to. He's not scare of ghosts, he know that. But there's something about this ghost boy that makes him cautious and alert.

"I.. see" ghost boy nod slowly, his eyesbrows furrow together as if he's processing through the whole situation and honestly, it's should be Jeongguk job as he find this situation strange also. "Well then, are you scare of me perhap?" ghost boy look at Jeongguk directly into his eyes, locking their eye contact which makes it hard for Jeongguk to look away as if ghost boy can tell if Jeongguk lie.

"Not exactly scare" Jeongguk shake his head and ghost boy raise an eyebrow suspiciously, "--But seeing a ghost, it's natural to be shocked and alert right?"

Ghost boy look dumbfounded for a few minutes before nodding as a respond which to Jeongguk relieve because he's not staring at Jeongguk directly anymore. Are ghosts always this strange? He can't predict whatever ghost boy going to do to him. Unless it's taking his soul and eat it as dinner than he can predict that.

Suddenly Jeongguk felt his chest temperature decreases instantly and he yank his whole body back as an reflex, losing balance and stumble backward a few steps. "W-What the hell?" Jeongguk scowl, noticing that ghost boy had put his arm through Jeongguk's chest, which is the cause of why his chest temperature drop so quickly in a few seconds.

"Sorry I just want to test it out" ghost boy smile sheepishly and retract his arm, and no, Jeongguk didn't think that was slighly adorable. "Since you can see me, it wouldn't hurt to know if you can touch me right"

"Yeah well.. but don't touch others so casually" Jeongguk hiss, clutching his chest as the temperature inside his body return the heat to the chest area. "Actually don't touch others without their consent, wether you're dead or not"

The ghost boy seem shock at the comment then follow by a disappointed look a visible pout. It's almost identical to Jimin pouting when Jeongguk won't allow the elder to touch him but this ghost boy pout seem to be more ... cute, if that's the word. "I just want to remember the feeling of touching something.." ghost boy mumble under his breath and Jeongguk would've miss it but he didn't. And it makes Jeongguk feel guilty of what he just said a few minutes earlier.

Jeongguk roll his eyes mentally at how weak he is, "Okay.. fine just tell me next time that you're gonna touch me, or well, try to anyway" he said letting out a sigh of defeat and ghost boy beam instantly with his eyes sprakle and revealing a rectangular smile.

For the next few days Jeongguk spent his lunch time hanging with Taehyung in his hiding spot. As soon as the bell rang for lunch, Jeongguk would dart out the classroom and to his hiding spot, or as ghost boy like to called it, meeting spot.

He also learned that ghost boy does have a name because he thought that usually ghosts would lost their memories but ghost byo seem to remembered every single detail of his past life.

"Kim Taehyung, lover of cheesy puns"

That's the ghost boy name, that's how he introduced himself after Jeongguk introduction. He also learned that Taehyung is two years older than him, a graduated from this school. He works at a bar as his part time job when he was still alive and take art along with music as his double college major because quote unquote from Taehyung's words "I love to tortured myself with things I love." Jeongguk learned all sort of things about Taehyung past life and he admit that Taehyung past life seem interesting, as his personality itself is pretty damn interesting. The only thing that Jeongguk doesn't know about Taehyung is how he die because Taehyung either refused to tell him or he would make an excused that he can't remembered. Jeongguk knows more than to not question the older so he would always stop questioning after Taehyung said "Sorry I can't remember further"

Jeongguk thought that ghosts would be boring and sad and lonely but Taehyung's the complete opposite of what he imagined. Cute, hot, adorable, cheerful, amazing, optimistic and enthusiastic isn't what Jeongguk can think in a ghost.

"Not all ghosts have to be sad and scary you know" Taehyung laugh, "We all have our past life personalities, it's just that no one notices us so some may go insane" is what Taehyung said after Jeongguk ask about ghosts in horror movies as to why are they so evil and horrible.

So yeah, Taehyung may change Jeongguk's point of view on some things. For example, ghosts and maybe cats. Jeongguk despite cats ever since he was little because when he try to get close to one as a child (which result in some scratches and biting) and it remind him of Yoongi but taehyung quickly change his mind when Jeongguk spot the older playing with some stray cats under the blossom tree. And that may or may not makes the latter heart skip a beat.

It's been two months now when school started and approximately a month and a half when Jeongguk meets Taehyung behind the school in his hiding spot.

Jeongguk would always find Taehyung's attractive no matter what. Not the oh-my-god-hot-guy-at-3-o'clock kinda hot guy but the I-think-I'm-falling-for-you kinda hot guy. He can't tell which one is worse beause having the hot for some random guy sound terrible but having the hot for a ghost boy sound even more terrifying. (But also satisfying at the same time)

Jeongguk notcies most of Taehyung's small detail, like how one side of his lips quirk upward when he's trying to hide something or how he fidget his thumbs together when he's lying that he didn't secretly take Jeongguk's ham between his sandwich and feed it to the cats or how quickly Taehyung expression change.

"Hey hyung" Jeongguk ask as he take a bite out of his sandwich, his back against the wall and watch over Taehyung feeding the cats with his leftover tuna.

"Hm?" Taehyung hum in reply.

"How long have you stuck in this.. world?" Jeongguk ask with his mouthful, chewing as he talk which isn't attractive but he couldn't careless.

"I can't remember as I lost track of time but i think a few years now, more than 5 definitely" Taehyung tap ehis index over his chin, one of his habit Jeongguk notice when he want to think back to something.

"Why can't you move on?" Jeongguk ask, knowing that the question is a irrelevant and it's a pretty stupid question to ask also.

"I don't know" the elder shrug.

"Can you remmeber anything you want before you die?" Jeongguk remove his back from the wall and scoot next to Taehyung, whose giving him a weird look of confusion. "Like, you know, like that Grudge movie where the girl have a grudge so I think you may have a grudge or something..  That's why you can't move on"

Taehyung doesn't reply for a few minutes as he give that cat the last piece of tuna before speaking, "I can vivdly remembered that I want a friend"

Jeongguk almost choke, "But aren't I your friend?"

Taehyung only nod and Jeongguk didn't miss the part when Taehyung's ears tip turn crimson red.

Time pass quickly as Jeongguk never exactly bring up the topoic of dying and grudges around Taehyung anymore until October comes around. The school is hectic and busy as everyone trying to decorate the school for Halloween and teachers run here and there for tests, preparing to wrap up the whole first semester. And the showcase is emerging next month, which mean Jimin and Hoseok have no time to spare for Jeongguk and they need to pull their act together and stop fooling around. Which Jeongguk can deal with because he spend more of his time hanging around with anyway.

The school bell rang as the day is over, not lunch. Jeongguk promised Taehyung that they'll spent time after school because Jeongguk didn't have enough time to leave for lunch since his grades was slipping and he almost fail the last test. Not only that, his classmates forced him to help with the pumpkins carving. Taehyung understand completely, which lighten Jeongguk's heart.

Jeongguk and Taehyung decides to walk around the school yard since they never get to do that or else Jeongguk would look like a crazy man talking to himself. "It's almost halloween huh?" Taehyung chuckle pointing at a couple of carve pumpkins under the blossom tree.

"Yeah this school always go overboard with the holidays" Jeongguk reply with sarcasm but he lowkey loves how the school get pump up with the holidays.

"I only have a few months left huh" Taehyung mumble and Jeongguk would've miss it but he didn't. He's so used to Yoongi endless mumble when he's tired so this is nothing new.

Jeongguk eyes widen in surprise as the sudden change of Taehyung's attitude, "What'd you mean?"

"Remember when you ask me my so-called 'grudge' back in July?" Taehyung quote unquote the word 'grudge' and motion both of his hands cupping each other then one hand move backward like a timeline and Jeongguk nod. Of course he remembered. He remembered every moment he shared with Kim Taehyung.

"Yeah well, you're my friend and my wish had been granted" Taehyung smile his rectangular smile. Usually Jeongguk would be overjoy to see this smile, but somehow it sand his shoulder and now dragging him down. "So in a few months, when this blossom tree get new flowers, I'll be joining them" Taehyung smile slowly fade away. It was no longer a rectangular smile, but a sad smile. Taehyung notices of course, quickly cover it up with the suaul rectangular smile like nothing's wrong.

"So you only have a few months left..?"

"Sort of. Ah now, I have quite a massive bucket list" Taehyung grins, bright and youthful; it is as if he wasn't being chased down by ticking seconds, wasn't being hunted by fate. Taehyung's laughter was light and beautiful but Jeongguk's heart was heavy.

"It's just like butterflies right?"

"How so"

"Butterflies only have a few months to live, or shorter, even" Taehyung smiles, it was laced with sadness, Jeongguk notices. Nothing like Taehyung's other smile.

"Just like I do," Taehyung whispers, embraced by the wind.

Jeongguk watches as the shades of yellow and orange gleams, painting Taehyung's transparent skin with warmth; watches as the sun slowly sets for the stars to be awaken.

It's not fair. It's not fair how the sky paints Taehyung with love and affection when reality paints him with cold and dull colors.

"I think butterflies teach us that there's something beautiful in time that doesn't last, rather than wishing for an eternity" Taehyung looks up, eyes meeting Jeongguk's. "They teach us to make the best of every single second"

There is a sea of fear and tears in there and Jeongguk crumbles. He wants to drown in there, he wants to drawn with Taehyung.

(He doesn't want Taehyung to drown alone)

It was a chilly October evening. The sound of kids chattering about Halloween while running down the empty road echoes faintly in the distance.

Taehyung was within his reach, within the touch of his fingertips.

But he can see life slowly sipping away from Taehyung's eyes and-

-and suddenly he seems so far away.

"Yeah" Jeongguk mumbles, "Just like butterflies."

--

Taehyung doesn't do good with crowds, now that Jeongguk notice something new about the older. Jeongguk decides to drag Taehyung to Hoseok showcase a month after October because Jeongguk want Taehyung to see that he does have friends. He'll be okay, hopefully, without Taehyung around. He'll continue his life like nothing happened after Taehyung leave. Except the painful memories Tehyung may leave behind for Jeongguk to lingered on.

--

"During these past few months that we spent together.. you have given me nothing but happiness" Taehyung slightly tilt his head to one side, a smile spread across his face.

A few blossom petals appear on Taehyung's shoulder, flying along with the wind, "Thank you Jeonggukie" he smile his heart warming rectangular smile, like nothing is wrong. Nothing's happening in this world, like he's not disappearing and turning into blossom petals. HIs carefree smile that Jeongguk loves so much.

"..Yeah" Jeongguk hesitates, not knowing what to say. He doesn't want to break down crying because he know nothing change if he does. Taehyung would still disappear even if he cry, and he doesn't want Taehyung to leave feeling guilty and burden. So he return the smile to the older instead.

Jeongguk tries his best to keep a straight face even though he notices that Taehyung's slowly fades away, turning into blossom petals.

"I like you a lot Kookie" Taehyung said with his face flush slightly red and Jeongguk smile grew wider. He reach out and hold both of Taehyung's hand into his and he was shock, that he can feel Taehyung's hand in his.

The sunlight shine directly onto Taehyung as he fade away quickly, increasing the blossom petals.

"Good bye" Jeongguk croaks, avoiding to ask a million question as to how can he touch Taehyung now but not before. He doesn' want to say bye, but he have to or else he'll regret it.

"But it's not a good bye if I'll never be able to see you again" Jeongguk notice Taehyung's lip quirk downward a little but it was quickly quirkl upward again. "It's a farewell.." the elder whisper as his presence fade away becoming blossom petals until there's nothing left for Jeongguk to hold. Taehyung's hands that Jeongguk have been holding was now replace by blossom petals in the latter's hand. His hands lingered Taehyung's one and only touch and suddenly it feel so cold now that Taehyung's hands is gone. It feel empty, like a void replace his beating heart.

The wind carry the blossom petals around jeongguk before falling down to the ground completely. A tear escape one of his eye, follow right after by another tear, then another and another. Soon both of his eyes were fill with water, his cheeks is soak, his vision is blur and Jeongguk doesn't even bother to wipe the tears away. Jeongguk smile disappear along with Taehyung's presence.

A thousands memories he spent with taehyung for the past school year runs through his mind. Every single moment from Jeongguk flunking a test to Taehyung's little pouting. Form when it all started, the introduction they both have, how Jeongguk was wondering about Taehyung being transparent and how Taehyung shares his past life to the latter without any hesitation.. To the moment they have the talk about Taehyung's grudge and the one thing that keep replying over and over in Jeongguk's mind; Taehyung's smile, both happy and sadness.

Jeongguk open his mouth, almost hesitantly;

"I love you, Taehyung"

Cue the song 'Butterfly'

also i am so sorry to end this badly but i did warn you

this was a drabble about the song butterfly i wrote at 1 AM but it turn to something else and now im emotionally wrecked and damaged :,^)))