“It’s been a long day, without you, my friend.

                      I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again.

We’ve come a long way, from where we began,

                     And I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again.”

                                                                            - ‘See you again’ by Wiz Khalifa ft. Charlie Puth

(Furious 7 OST)

 

 

 

The stars went out one by one, swallowed by the heavy, dark clouds. I sat on the window seat, counting them, till they all disappeared. The blue curtains adorning my windows fluttered in the light breeze that would soon turn into a raging storm. I stuck my arm out of the window to catch the first droplet of rain. It fell on my palm and slid down my wrist to the crook of my elbow. I flicked it away with my other hand and jumped off the seat.

I knew I should sleep. Tomorrow was a big day and I needed to be up at the crack of dawn if I was to say my farewells. The rain outside had intensified and was pouring down in buckets. A brilliant flash of lightning bathed the entire street adjoining my building in white. I sat down on my bed, listening to the low rumble of the thunder that followed.

On other nights, my bed looked strangely inviting. Tonight, however, I felt no inclination to lay my head down on my soft, fluffy pillow. I stared at nothing in particular, my gaze unfocused, thinking, when I heard my phone ping. I smiled through my plethora of thoughts, as I blindly reached for my phone. I already knew who it was.

“You can’t sleep either, can you?” the message read. I chuckled softly.

 “No. Of course, I can’t.” I typed and hit send.

“I’m too nervous.” The next message read.

“I know.” I replied, and added, “The usual place?”

“The usual place.” came the reply, immediately.

 

I lost no time picking up my coat and sprinting out of my apartment. Thankfully, even in my hyper-excited state of mind, I remembered to grab my keys and lock my door. I ran down the stairs, not bothering with the elevator. I flung myself into my car, threw my phone and my keys in the passengers’ seat and pulled out of the parking. I drove faster than I should have, when it was raining like this and the roads were slippery. But I wasn’t thinking at all. I only concentrated on getting to my destination.

He was there, like he usually is. It was usually I who called him out at ungodly hours. Tonight, it was him. It was his big day tomorrow.

“Donghae!” I breathed, drinking in his face that the light from the little café lit up.

“Jen! You’re here!” he gave me that breathtakingly beautiful smile that made my heart thrum. Blood rushed to my face and I felt my lips stretch on their own accord.

“Donghae!” I said again and threw my hands around his neck, hugging him tight.

“Woah!” he chuckled, “You missed me so much in just five hours?”

“Shut up.” I snorted and dragged him into the café. The motherly lady at the counter, the owner of the little café, smiled at us benignly as we entered.

“The usual, kids?” she asked, putting down the book she had been reading.

We grinned at her and nodded. I followed Donghae to our usual table, the one at the back. It was a table for two and it was right next to the window. We would sit here, sip our drinks and look at the people. Sometimes, we would try to guess whether there were any Super Junior fans among them. And then we would laugh out loud, because the only people who ever seemed to visit this café were grandmas and grandpas. Apart from us, of course.

And we usually visited after eleven at night, when this neighbourhood was free of anyone below the age of thirty. That way, we had successfully avoided getting caught in scandals that seemed to perpetually rock the entertainment industry.

Sometimes, we talked about the future, our future, although that was a topic I usually liked to avoid and he liked to bring up. We would talk about our future children, in jest of course. But, I did feel sometimes, that he wasn’t joking when he said he wanted a daughter and he wanted to name her Haru. I would saying that name was already taken and he would retort with, “There can be more than one kid named Haru, you know!”

I never had the courage to see that far ahead, him being an internationally famous celebrity and me, only a writer for a little known magazine. But I would humour him.

I smiled at him now, as he thoughtfully ran a hand over his newly cut hair. He still had his old hair when I saw him five hours ago.

“This style makes you look cuter than ever.” I grinned at him.

“I miss my hair!” he pouted at me like the five year old that he seemed to be. Sometimes I couldn’t believe he was twenty eight, going to be twenty nine in another forty minutes!

“Aww baby,” I crooned, “It’ll grow back soon enough!”

He raised an eyebrow and then we both burst out laughing. We laughed more heartily than other days, because no one told us off tonight. Even though it wasn’t midnight yet, the café was empty, save us, courtesy the rain.

“Here you go.” The lady appeared with our drinks, “One hot chocolate. Mind you, it’s piping hot! And one vanilla milk. Enjoy!”

“Thank you!” Donghae and I chorused, picking up our drinks. I blew on my hot chocolate and took a light sip. Chocolate always seems to awaken my very soul for some reason. I sighed with satisfaction as the warm liquid trickled down the back of my throat and the sweetness enveloped my tongue.

“So, you wanted to talk?” I asked setting my cup down on the table. Donghae stared at his vanilla milk, sloshing it around in the glass.

“I don’t know. I’m nervous about tomorrow.” He said, finally.

“Hey,” I reached out and took his hand, “It’s all going to be okay. Okay?”

“Is it?” he sighed, “This is big. I mean, military enlistment. Two years. I don’t even know if I’m ready!”

“Honey, you’re ready. I know you are. You’ve always been ready, ever since you saw your hyungs go.” I told him, rubbing soothing circles on his hand with my thumb. “Be confident. Two years will pass by like it’s nothing. And when you come back, we’ll come to this café again. I’ll drink my hot chocolate and you’ll drink your vanilla milk and we’ll pass our divine judgement on passers-by.”

He chuckled at my words. “Well, then I can’t wait to go and come back.”

“When you’re gone, I’ll have to occupy myself with something. I think I’ll come to the café by myself. I’ll have so many stories to tell you when you come back. Oh, and I’ll be keeping tabs on all Super Junior activities and all the things your hyungs get up to. And of course I’ll have to work on my articles for the magazine. With you out of my hair, I might actually get some work done. And I also might have time to work on that book. I might actually finish it by the time you’re back, so that’s another story I’ll have to tell you. Man, you’ve got a lot of listening to do when you get back!”

I stopped for breath and found him staring intently at me.

“What?” I asked, avoiding his eyes.

“Just say you’re going to miss me.” He said, shaking his head.

“I’m going to miss you.” I said. I flinched at how my voice got stuck in my throat and my eyes welled up with tears.

“Hey,” I heard his voice, and felt his velvet touch on my chin as he turned my face towards his. “I’m going to miss you too.”

And then he kissed me, his lips soft against mine, a little wet because of the vanilla milk. He kissed me long and deep, till we heard the clock at the counter strike twelve. We pulled apart and smiled at each other.

“Happy birthday, Donghae.” I whispered, “Come back safe. I can’t wait for the two years to pass.”

“Neither can I” he said, and kissed me again.

 

 

 

It had been a almost month since he left. I missed him every day, but I knew time would pass, like it always does. Sometimes, I wished I could tell someone about it, talk to someone. But I knew I couldn’t. I shouldn’t. Donghae had his career to protect and I couldn’t be selfish, even though Donghae did say many times that he didn’t mind coming out in the open about us.

I knew that the men who enlisted were allowed visits to families and the occasional phone calls. But we had agreed not to contact each other, as these communications were carefully monitored and we couldn’t have anyone knowing about us, yet. At least, that was my opinion. Donghae seemed inclined to argue, but I succeeded in shouting him down.

I absentmindedly doodled on the piece of blank paper on my table. I was supposed to be editing five articles for the magazine, but my heart just wasn’t in it. On top of that, the articles were boring. I wasn’t really in the mood to read about some bloke’s rise to fame and his 101 steps to a successful career.

What I really wanted to do was write an article of my own. But I wasn’t given any interviews or any events to cover. I was bored, plainly speaking.

“Hey Jennifer!” my colleague walked into the room, holding a cup of coffee.

“Hmm?” I asked, not looking at him.

“Boss wants you. In her office, now.” He said, settling down at his table.

“Okay.” I sighed, pushing my chair back and standing up. I waved to a few friends as I made my way towards my boss and friend, Nam Sera’s room. I knocked on the door thrice before pushing it open.

“You wanted to see me, boss?” I asked, sticking my head around the door, with a cheeky grin.

“Ah, yes, Jen. Come on in.” Sera grinned back at me, “Sit down. Coffee?”

“Thanks.” I said, taking the mug of coffee from her and sitting down on the chair in front of her. Sera placed her hands on the table and leaned closer to me.

“So, Jennifer. Feeling up to writing an article?” she asked, scrutinizing me, “I think you’re bored with all the editing job we’ve been dumping on you.”

“You thought right.” I said, sipping my coffee, “I could kill for an opportunity to write an article right now.”

“Good.” Sera said, straightening her spectacles, “I want you to cover an event and even do an interview if time permits.”

“Sure.” I said, putting down my coffee and leaning forward on the table, “What event am I covering?”

“The Mnet Asian Music Awards.” Sera said, smiling at me smugly.

“You’re kidding me!” I gasped, flabbergasted, “We really got access to cover MAMA?”

“We did.” Sera sniggered smugly at my expression, “And I’m going to send my best writer to cover it!”

“Woah! Wow, Sera…um...thanks. This is huge! I don’t know what to say!” I stammered, flustered.

“Yes, yes, you’re overwhelmed with gratitude!” Sera rolled her eyes teasingly, “Now, go get ready! Jungkook will be going with you as the assisting cameraperson.”

“Yes, boss!” I grinned at her and scuttled out of the room happily.

 

 

 

The place was huge. I decided I needed more than one head and one pair of eyes to actually scan the full area. Unfortunately, I had only one head and only one pair of eyes.

“Noona, where do you want to set up?” Jungkook, the camera-guy asked me.

“Wherever you think we’ll get good photos, Kookie. You decide.” I told him. He looked around, and then pointed to a spot higher than the other media people. That spot seemed unclaimed.

“That looks like a good spot. Let’s go before someone takes it.” He said.

“Okay.” I nodded and followed him.

“Excuse me!” someone called to us as we started climbing the steps, “The seats there are unstable. I don’t think you should go there. The barricade is weak and you might get seriously hurt if you fall from there. That is why none of us took that spot.”

Jungkook, who had already reached that spot, said, “It seems okay though. We’ll try not to get too close to the barricade.”

“Be careful, then.” The man called out.

“We will.” I called back, “Thanks for the warning.”

I looked around the place as Jungkook set up his equipment. There was the buzz of media people chattering, the pattering of footsteps as people climbed up and down the steps, the occasional screeching of the microphones, and the cheering as celebrity after celebrity walked in.

I was already forming sentences in my head, how I would start, how I would tell the story. The programmes began and the article in my head took shape. As I viewed the performances and saw the awards being given, I edited stuff in my head and formed better sentences, better descriptions.

Not for nothing was I the best writer of Mystique magazine. This was my speciality. I could remember details clear as daylight and putting them into words was pure bliss.

I was so engrossed in my job that I did not notice where I was standing. Jungkook’s warning call came a little too late. Before I heard his voice, I felt the barricade on which I had been carelessly leaning, give way. I felt myself plummet down, the wind whooshing past me. Someone was screaming. It took me a while to realize that it was me. My head hit something on the way down with a sickening crack and I was thrown off course. My body slammed on to the ground with a thud that seemed too loud for my ears. I heard panicking voices. I heard Jungkook call out, “Noona!” The music had stopped. I didn’t want the music to stop. I had to write an article about it. And then everything went black.

 

 

 

I woke up, I don’t know how much later. It couldn’t have been more than five minutes, because the panicking voices were still there.

“Noona! Noona, wake up! This can’t be happening!” I heard Jungkook’s frantic voice. I opened my eyes to see the poor boy in tears.

“Kookie, I’m fine.” I said, bewildered at how shocked and upset he appeared when I was completely alright. Honestly, it didn't feel like I'd hurt myself much. For one, nothing ached, which surprised me even.

“Noona!” he called, again, blinking through his tears, his voice all hoarse.

“Yes, yes, I’m okay. See?” I said sitting up, “Totally alright.”

But he wasn’t looking at me. He was still staring at the floor behind me, sobbing.

“Kookie, look at me! I’m okay!” I said, trying to calm him. But he just wouldn’t look at me. He kept staring behind me, his sobs sounding more and more heartbroken by the moment. Curious, I turned around.

I wished I hadn't, as soon as I turned around. I felt light headed as I looked at my lifeless body lying on the floor, covered in blood. I lifted a hand to place on Jungkook's and found myself not the least bit surprised when my hand passed right through his.  And then, Jungkook's reaction made perfect sense.

 

 

It was too late by the time medical help arrived. I sat next to my body in the ambulance. I wanted to comfort Kookie, but I knew it wouldn’t be of any use. He couldn’t see me, or hear me. Neither could anyone else.

They pronounced me dead on arrival, when we got to the hospital. The cause of death was massive hypovolemic shock due to excessive intracranial haemorrhage.

They covered my body in a piece of white cloth and wheeled me into the morgue on a gurney. They put my body in cold storage. Everyone left. I stayed there, right outside the morgue, till they wheeled my body out the next morning for my funeral.

Jungkook was there, looking pale, shocked and traumatised. Sera was there, crying into a handkerchief, looking anywhere but at my body. Some of my friends from work were there, eyes wet with tears. Mum and Dad were there, their grief beyond tears. The last time I had spoken to Dad, I had told him I was busy and I would call him later. This was two months ago. I never called him back. The last time I had spoken to Mum, I had yelled at her for picking on my relationship with Donghae, also nearly two months back.

Donghae! He wasn’t here! He wouldn’t know! No one would bother telling him. Why would they? Why would they think Lee Donghae of Super Junior would want to know about some writer of a small magazine, who died while covering an event?

Jennifer Lee was dead and Lee Donghae, her boyfriend, wouldn’t know about it till two years later, when he would return and seek her out.

 

 

 

He returned. First thing he did, as soon as he was clear of all the media attention, was call at my house. I was there, waiting for him. I could see the shock visible on his face when he saw my bare apartment. Mum, Dad and Sera had cleared out the place.

I saw him run out of the house, dialling my number. Mum had given my phone to Sera after my death. Sera just kept it as a memory. She hadn’t even bothered changing the number. Or doing anything else with it, for that matter.

He got into his car, put the phone on speaker mode and flung it on the passengers’ seat, waiting for the call to connect. I got into the back seat of his car and wondered if the phone would even be switched on. The phone rang and rang till the call ended on its own. Cursing softly, Donghae redialled my number. This went on for a few times, every attempt failing. I sighed, pitying his desperate attempts, when I was taken aback by Sera’s voice emerging through the speakers.

“Hello?” She sounded a little spooked out and uncertain. As she should be, because I doubt anyone had called that number in the past twenty months.

“Jen?” Donghae almost yelled, “Where are you? Why weren't you taking my calls? Why is your apartment empty?”

“I’m sorry, who’s this?” Sera asked again, “It just says Hae as the contact name. Were you a friend of Jennifer’s?”

“Where is Jennifer?” Donghae asked, car slowing down and coming to a halt by the side of the road.

“I’m right here, Donghae.” I whispered, but he couldn’t hear me.

“I’m sorry. Haven’t you heard?” Sera’s voice was breaking. She hadn’t spoken about this in twenty months. “Jennifer passed away. It has been almost two years now.”

 

 

 

“Lee Donghae? Lee Donghae of Super Junior?” Sera’s voice sounded utterly bewildered and there was confusion etched on her face, “Are you telling me Jennifer knew you? Personally?”

Donghae’s aura was grim, as he reclined on the plush couch in the nearly empty café. He was heavily disguised in shades, a cap, mask and a scarf. What little was seen of his face was devoid of colour.

“Were you friends?” Sera asked him again. I sat down next to him, waiting for his answer.

“We were more than friends.” He said at long last. My eyes welled up, and I wanted nothing more than to throw myself into his arms. But, I couldn’t.

“I never knew.” Sera said, miserably, “She never told me anything.”

“She is secretive like that.” Donghae sighed and shook his head. I noted his use of present tense and felt my heart clench painfully. This was going to be difficult for him.

“I’m so sorry. I would have informed you, if I had known. I had no idea.” Sera whispered through her tears.

“Yeah.” Donghae said, quietly. Sera didn’t notice, but I knew this tone. He was about to break. I had seen him cry in front of me and I had always been there to comfort him. It killed me, even in death, that I could not comfort him now.

“Donghae, don’t. Don’t cry. I’m right here. Please don’t cry.” I whispered. He didn’t hear me.

“Can you tell me where she is buried?” he asked Sera, at long last, his voice controlled.

“Of course.” Sera said, sadly.

 

 

 

“Hey, Jen.” He whispered, sitting cross legged next to my grave, tears falling freely from his eyes. My gravestone was simple. On it was inscribed, “In loving memory of Jennifer Lee. 17^th of June, 1990 - 21^st of November, 2015.”

“Hey, Donghae.” I whispered, even though he could not hear me.

“I’m back. Two years passed so soon, just like you said it would.” He chuckled a bit.

“I told you so.” I chuckled with him.

“I’m sure you’re thinking ‘I told you so’ right now.” He sniffled. I sat down next to him and leaned my head on his shoulder.

“I was really looking forward to seeing you, Jen.” He said, “I have so much to tell you. I wanted to tell you how my time at the military was. It was hard initially, then I got used to the rigorous schedule. I was one of the best men in my contingent.”

“I knew you would be. I had full confidence in you, honey.” I replied.

“I came to Seoul twice. I met hyungs and the maknaes. During one of the visits, Hyukkie came with me. I really wanted to see you, but you know how much I respect your choices. If I had come to meet you then…” his voice trailed off.

“It would have distracted you, Donghae. It was good you didn’t come.” I said, sadly.

“I’m sure you’re thinking it was all for the best.” He sniffled, rubbing his nose on his sleeve. He then wiped away his tears and smiled at my grave.

“But it’s not like I’ll never see you again, is it, Jen?” he asked, lightly, “There will be a time when we’ll be together again, and then I’ll tell you all I have to tell you. And you can tell me all that you have been up to, without me. Maybe we can find a café which serves your hot chocolate and my vanilla milk. If we get lucky, we may even find passers-by to pass our divine judgement on.”

“Maybe. Maybe, we will, Donghae.” I chuckled with him.

“I hope you’re in a happier place, Jen. If you’re not, please go find your happiness. It will take me a while, but I promise you, I will be happy for the rest of my life, with your memories and your love to guide me along. I’ll make new memories and imagine them with you. And then I’ll tell you all about them, when I see you again. Bye, Jen. Rest in peace.” Donghae placed a bouquet of my favourite flowers, cornflowers, on my grave. I loved the blue of the cornflowers.

He then stood up and dusted his pants and slowly walked out of the cemetery, not looking back. I knew he would never come back here again. This cemetery holds nothing for him. I knew he would keep me in his heart, and that was good enough for me. It's not like I would be waiting here for him after this. I would be waiting somewhere else, and he knew where to come.

I touched the fresh beautiful flowers with the tip of my fingers and smiled. I felt bliss. I was ready to move on.

“I too shall have lots to tell you, Donghae, when I see you again.” I whispered. The wind carried away my whisper, as I finally moved into the dazzling light, on to my next great adventure.

 

“...Death is but the next great adventure.”

– J. K. Rowling