A/N: Tadaaa!~ Another KyuWook story fresh from the oven because I suddenly forgot what to write for the next chapter of 'Psychologists Say'!~ (*is subtly advertising fics kkk*) I hope you guys do enjoy reading!

And because I won’t be around for the next couple of days because school , I’ll give this as a present for you guys!~ Imagine it, a one-shot worth 5000 plus words because I love you all!~ :D

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Kyuhyun looked up from his laptop with a surprised jolt; his face filled with confusion and slight annoyance. The people around him too looked up from whatever they were doing in surprise when a high-pitched choked sound reverberated throughout the whole dorm.

"What was that?" Donghae asked as he played with the rim of the cup of coffee he was drinking; Eunhyuk who was beside him continuing to curiously munch on a cookie Sungmin and Ryeowook baked a while ago. Kyuhyun gave them an annoyed glare from where he was seated on the living room playing StarCraft before he huffed and crossed his arms.

"I don't know, but whoever was that just made me lose my game." Kyuhyun grumbled bitterly as Heechul madly laughed while watching the television; the maknae soon realizing that the laugh was meant for his misfortune. Suddenly, before the maknae could even try to 'accidentally' turn the television off, quick soft steps hitting the floor caught everyone's attention for the second time.

Kyuhyun opened his mouth to scold whoever that person was for making him lose his game; his arms already crossed at his chest for added effect. However, when he saw who owned the scream and the soft footsteps, and when his eyes fell on a piece of paper the said owner was holding in his hands, he instantly closed his mouth nervously and reflexively curled up on himself.

Ryeowook appeared in front of an awkwardly-chuckling Kyuhyun; his face showing confusion and traces of slight irritation. The maknae just gave a sheepish smile as he patted the seat beside him with a shaking hand.

"Uh, hi Ryeong..."

The eternal maknae narrowed his eyes at the profusely sweating evil maknae; his lips pursing into a thin line as he shoved the paper on Kyuhyun's hands. The other members soon gathered in the living room to see what the commotion was about. And when Kyuhyun's eyes fell on the scribbles written on the paper, another batch of nervousness shook his body before Ryeowook plopped down on the seat beside him still with the scary face on.

"Enlighten me why this ridiculous list was inside your bag." Ryeowook asked with a low voice; ignoring every curious stare being sent his and Kyuhyun's way. The younger just gave a sheepish laugh as he scratched the back of his neck; kicking Siwon on the side who leaned in too close to see what was written on the paper.

"Oh, that. It is what is says," Kyuhyun started with a shaky voice, but the sound soon turned loud at the end as if he was suddenly proud of what he did, “Thirteen reasons why you shouldn't be together in a relationship with the other members. One reason for each member, so there are thirteen reasons!" He finished with a goofy smile as he patted an unamused Ryeowook on the shoulder.

And the other members gathered around the two maknaes soon fell into chaos; all the while expressing their different emotions towards the list. Some madly laughed as some looked offended, while most of them just rolled their eyes amusedly in humor as they went back to do whatever they were doing before the scene even started.

"Great! Now since most of the lowly peasants are already away from you, I'm going to explain each reason whether you like it or not!" Kyuhyun proudly proclaimed as he scooted nearer to the still-confused and still-irritated Ryeowook before gently putting the list flat on the table for him and the smaller man to review properly.

"I'm going to ask what's the reason you did this, anyway." The older man said as he heaved a deep sigh; calming himself and deciding to just put up with whatever silliness Kyuhyun was so excited to share. The younger just gave him another wide grin before he opened his mouth with such excitement.

--

•Leeteuk/Park Jungsoo

'He's too old for you.'

Ryeowook looked at the beaming Kyuhyun with a raised eyebrow; doing all his everything not to burst out laughing. The younger just proudly nodded to himself as if he just managed to do a huge achievement but his victorious expression soon turned into horror when Leeteuk suddenly appeared on the scene and took a glance at the paper when he heard his name.

"Yah! I am not that old! There's only a four year difference between Ryeowookie and me!" Leeteuk loudly protested as he hugged the now-laughing eternal maknae. Kyuhyun then rolled his eyes at the affectionate action before he tugged Ryeowook away from the elder and towards his chest; Leeteuk pouting as he kicked Heechul who was once again madly laughing while watching the television.

"Yes, you are that old. I'm surprised you still haven't broken your back yet with all the dancing we're doing." The youngest retorted back with a teasing smile as Ryeowook squirmed on his embrace; the eternal maknae wiping his eyes which were filled with some happy tears, "Beside, what would people think when they see Ryeowookie dating someone who looks old like an uncle already?"

"Well, at least I can take care of Ryeowookie like a hyung and a lover at the same time!" The eldest exclaimed in triumph; releasing a loud laugh as Kyuhyun's face changed into that of irritation, "I can take care of Ryeowookie if he ever agreed to be my boyfriend, unlike you who's going to probably burden him like a baby!"

"Actually, you're right Teukkie-hyung." Ryeowook readily agreed with a wide smile as he hugged Leeteuk on the waist; completely missing out how Kyuhyun glared at their smirking leader.

"I thought you're supposed to be at the home-for-the-aged, e?!"

--

•Kim Heechul

'He's going to molest you in your sleep.'

"But..." Ryeowook started with a confused face; Heechul crossing his arms on his chest while glaring at the smirking Kyuhyun, "He does that to everyone..."

And Kyuhyun soon clutched his stomach in pain as Heechul head-butted him which made Ryeowook scream in surprise and concern; Leeteuk who was watching the television together with the second oldest clapping his hands like a high-on-drugs seal. Ryeowook just sent the three men a hopeless and weary glance before he rubbed the youngest's stomach.

"It's your fault why that crazy witch head-butted me," Kyuhyun winced in pain as the eternal maknae's fingers dug deeper on his flesh, "Besides, don't say such things even though those are facts. You're supposed to be the innocent one. That's why you are not allowed to be with him because Heechul-hyung's going to taint you and no one wants that."

And Ryeowook just gave the pained maknae a blank look stating 'Are you kidding me?’ as he stopped his ministrations on the younger's stomach.

However, Kyuhyun apparently misinterpreted the look as he let out a shocked gasp in a manner more exaggerated than what Heechul normally does.

"Oh my god, he already did, didn't he?! I am so going to destroy his clothes later on!" Kyuhyun exclaimed as he sent a vicious glare to the looking-innocent Heechul who was seating beside a choking Leeteuk; Ryeowook giving him another weird look before he face-palmed.

"You're just jealous because I can bed Ryeowookie faster than you!~ Right, Wookie?~"

Ryeowook just let out another sigh as he helplessly watched Kyuhyun and Heechul fighting with suddenly appearing matchsticks and eye-blinding clothes.

--

•Hangeng

'He'll pretend he doesn't know Korean when you two fight.'

Kyuhyun smugly smirked at the dumbfounded Ryeowook; confident this time that this reason was fool-proof. The older just tilted his head to the side; a finger tapping his cheek in an almost-childlike manner that Kyuhyun almost fainted.

(Which was definitely NOT because Ryeowook looked so cute doing that. Nope, not at all.)

"But Kyu, Hangeng-hyung is the one who taught me Chinese..." Ryeowook reasoned out; not noticing how Kyuhyun spaced out in his own magical denial world. However, when he tapped the taller man on the shoulder did he only snap out of his thoughts before he once again focused his attention on Ryeowook's words and this time not on his face.

"So what if he was the one who taught you Chinese?"

"Then that means I can understand whatever Chinese he's saying when explaining he doesn't understand Korean."

Kyuhyun narrowed his eyes in annoyance before he childishly crossed his arms, "But you can't understand everything!"

"Oh, but I did understand everything when he taught me how to cook Beijing fried rice. Ah, I miss cooking with him now already!" Ryeowook whined as he slumped on his seat; ignoring a smirking Heechul who started patting his back while poking his tongue out at the glaring Kyuhyun.

"Ha, take that bratty maknae! Hannie has more advantage than you despite being miles away from our cute little Ryeowookie!" Heechul proclaimed haughtily while hugging the eternal maknae before he dodged a flying pillow meant for his overly-bright face; Ryeowook unfortunately being the receiver of the said pillow.

"This scene isn't even supposed to be about you, why are you still here?! And oh my god, I didn't mean it, Ryeowoo—AH! THAT HURTS, STOP!!"

--

•Yesung/ Kim Jongwoon

'He'll force you to take care of his turtles.'

Kyuhyun gave a wide grin as he subtly rubbed his stinging face; Ryeowook looking at him with a small soft smile. The younger then tilted his head in confusion at Ryeowook's action before the older let out a giggle in amusement.

(Which definitely did NOT make Kyuhyun blush. You're just hallucinating.)

"But I'm already taking care of them, Kyuhyunnie." And Ryeowook just gave an overly-sweet smile at the face-palming Kyuhyun as he played with the hem of his shirt.

"Okaaaay... Well, um, yeah!" The evil maknae tried to interject with an awkward scratch of his cheek, "He's too weird for an innocent guy like you! Who knows what he’ll do when you agree to be his boyfriend?" He finished with such conviction that Ryeowook almost nodded with a laugh. However, before the smaller man could even agree to what Kyuhyun had just said, the said evil maknae's phone suddenly vibrated at the table.

'I am not weird!'-Turtle Creeper Hyung

Both Kyuhyun and Ryeowook simultaneously raised their eyebrows in slight amazement and pure uncomfortableness before the taller man chucked his phone back at the table, "See? He even knows what we are talking about even though he's somewhere recording songs."

"Uh, I'm sure Yesungie-hyung sent it just in coincidence. I mean, he's too adorable to be weird."

"Nah, he's too weird for you. And he's definitely not adorable! I am adorable! Besides, YeWook is so years ago!" Kyuhyun proudly proclaimed as he did some sort of mini-celebratory dance whilst seated; Ryeowook giving him an overly-amused look. And while the youngest continued how to babble on that YeWook wasn't even that cute and romantic and perfect, and Ryeowook saying that YeWook really was popular and much-loved by fans and that his 'Yeye-hyung' really took care of him, they both didn't notice Heechul who started crawling his way beside the couch.

"Yeah, because HeeWook is so in right now!~"

Kyuhyun just screamed in surprise as Ryeowook hid his face behind a pillow in shock; Heechul once again trying to dodge a flying pillow meant for his face courtesy of a still-scared eternal maknae.

"Dammit Teukkie-hyung, take this crazy witch to the asylum already! He keeps on popping at every scene!"

And Kyuhyun and Ryeowook only got to scream in fright as the evil maknae threw his phone at the wall rather hard when he suddenly received another text message.

'No! YeWook is still alive!' -Turtle Creeper Hyung

--

•Kangin/ Kim Youngwoon

'He's going to get drunk and then he'll abuse you and I don't want any domestic violence!'

Ryeowook looked at the nodding younger with an incredulous expression as he subtly inched away in slight fear; the taller man not noticing the slight shift in the distance as he continued to nod as if he just discovered the cure to cancer. Although, he only noticed Ryeowook's incredulous look and the silence that suddenly draped over the room when he felt a shadow looming behind him.

Kyuhyun heard Heechul madly cackling from the side, Leeteuk's soft voice trying to calm someone down, and Ryeowook letting out a whimper as if he was afraid for someone's life. He was confused, really, but he still couldn't shake the uneasiness that suddenly grew on the pit of his stomach.

And then, before Kyuhyun knew it, a large hand found its way on his shoulder; the owner of said hand leaning near to his face as the maknae shivered for some unknown reason.

"Bastard, I'm a changed person," A low and deep voice muttered near the shell of his ear as Ryeowook made a sign of the cross, "And I am sure I can protect our dear Ryeowookie more than anyone of you can."

Kyuhyun only got to scream in response as he suddenly fled in fear while Heechul clapped his hands like a seal and Leeteuk face-palmed, "Ryeong! I suddenly remembered I have a recording in Radio Star today! See you maybe later if I am still alive!"

Kangin then started his pursuit of the younge