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Chanyeol sits waiting at the hairdresser, thinking about what his mother had said earlier that week. She said it would be best for Baekhyun if he’d actually stay next time, instead of sneaking out while the small boy was still asleep. When he had asked why, frowning because there was no way Baekhyun would have requested it himself, she merely said it was a feeling she got because Baekhyun was lonely.

“So, what would you like?” the young lady asks, a smile on her face as she studies Chanyeol’s in the mirror. “Same style, or–”

“No, I want it short,” Chanyeol says with a frown, not particularly because of her, but because he can’t even remember the last time his hair had been short. “I want to be able to style it upwards, but that’s all, so – short, please,” he says with a smile and locks eyes with her. Because he’s so busy wondering why the hell he even cares about his hairstyle, he doesn’t notice how her cheeks turn pink. Someone in the back of his mind nags that it’s all because of Baekhyun, but he doesn’t believe the small voice, because it still makes no sense.

On his way to work, he thinks of his father’s words instead – that someone needs to pay for the treatment. He had already decided he will pay even if he can’t cover everything, he has to try. He knows his father won’t be pleased and will instead use the company’s money to cover for it but Chanyeol feels like it’s something he needs to do.

Baekhyun is back in his room, drained, after another examination. This time, they’re sure though and that means, in some ways, peace. He still finds himself uncertain about whether he’ll live or not, but at least they know what it is. And there are cures, they tell him, there are ways to get better, if it all works out. Part of Baekhyun doesn’t want that though, that part of him wants to move on to another life, a better one. Yet, he can’t seem to let go completely because every day, there are sheets of paper lying on the table next to the wall. Every day, he will catch Chanyeol glancing at him through the glass and he doesn’t want to move on to a better life. In a better life, there wouldn’t be a Chanyeol watching over him – even if he tries to keep the pretense up that he doesn’t want help. He doesn’t want to be as weak as he is and if he lets Chanyeol do everything he already did for him, he can’t even fool himself anymore.

“You’re stupid,” a voice next to him mutters and tears well up in Baekhyun’s eyes because in a better life, there would be parents who actually care. His father looks down at him, face void of emotion other than disgust for the human being he produced himself. “Who’ll pay for all of this, huh?” he asks and Baekhyun cringes, making his father frown. Baekhyun never cringes at his words, normally, he shrugs them off. But today is different because recently, he realized that this isn’t normal. He realized that not only does he not like it, other parents aren’t like this, other parents cry rivers if they heard their son might die soon. His father shakes his head as soon as he realizes that Baekhyun isn’t going to answer him. He walks out of the room, slams the door behind himself hard enough to let the glass tinkle.

Baekhyun falls asleep crying again, because crying is so damn tiring now that his body can’t handle anything anymore.

It’s eight at night and Chanyeol has already eaten at the café. He’s rather late because Saturdays are always busier than weekdays and today, he’s reluctant to meet Baekhyun. Because he believes his mother is right, the short boy must be lonely and, wouldn’t anyone want to have someone to talk to every once in a while? But it’s still daunting because no matter how hard he tries, he can’t stop thinking of Baekhyun’s anger when he said he wanted to help.

He suddenly stops walking and reprimands himself. It doesn’t matter if Baekhyun doesn’t want his help because he has already given it anyway. And seriously, if he doesn’t want his company, he should just have to tell him whenever Chanyeol is actually there and facing him. He can’t imagine Baekhyun having done all of the assigned homework already, so he deems it a good enough excuse to try to talk to him. There’s still a part of him that wonders why he tries so hard, but he figures he doesn’t want to need a reason, he just cares.

Chanyeol carefully steps inside the room. This time, the curtains are closed and he hadn’t been able to see if Baekhyun was asleep from the outside. He seems to be, although he’s in much the same condition as before. Chanyeol’s father told him that the first surgery will be at the beginning of the next week and he can only hope that it will turn out well.

There’s a possibility that Baekhyun won’t wake up anymore tonight, that he will simply sleep until the morning. But Chanyeol has dared to take this step and he’s not going back home, he needs to try one last time. For the time being, he takes his phone from his pocket and flicks through various screens without really thinking or looking at them.

“Chanyeol?” Baekhyun suddenly calls out and Chanyeol is more shocked at the sound of his weak voice than the actual action of Baekhyun calling out to him. But then it begins to sink in that he has to say something now, that he has to look up and talk to him for the first time in days. When Chanyeol looks up, he realizes that Baekhyun isn’t looking him in the eyes, instead, he flicks his eyes between his face and somewhere above. And then it clicks - and he awkwardly clears his throat.

“I cut my hair,” he says, entirely unsure whether Baekhyun wants to hear any such thing, but he tells him anyway. Even though Baekhyun’s expression was soft for a while, it turns a little sharper a moment later.

“Why are you here?” he asks and there’s such a contrast, the weakness from before seems to be vanished completely and Chanyeol frowns. He is prepared though, he thinks.

“Well I brought your homework, right? I thought, maybe–”

“I told you before I don’t need your help,” Baekhyun cuts him off unconvincingly and Chanyeol sighs, but stops once he sees that Baekhyun noticed it. Nevertheless, he picks up the papers from the table and takes one of the trays from another one and puts them on his lap before he shuffles his chair closer to Baekhyun’s bed.

“You need to stop being stubborn like this,” he says, but for some reason, his voice sounds soft and it’s probably because he feels terrible for the situation Baekhyun is in and he’s barely able to do anything at all. “Just let me help,” he adds, taking a pen from his bag and handing it to Baekhyun. The small male looks at him with a frown on his face, but Chanyeol isn’t sure whether it’s simply because he’s displeased or if it’s because of something else as well. “Is there a subject–”

“Then help me with math,” Baekhyun complies and he doesn’t even look that unhappy about it. There’s a grin on Chanyeol’s face when he picks out the right sheets from the pile of papers. Then, he places everything on Baekhyun’s lap instead because it’s him that has to do this after all.

It’s weird. Because Baekhyun is thankful. At times, he’s frustrated and then Chanyeol does everything he can to make things understandable, but he finds himself a very incapable teacher – but Baekhyun thinks otherwise. He finally gets it, he thinks as he jots down answers on the answer-sheet, although he doesn’t know whether they’re right or wrong. It doesn’t matter, because at least, he’s thinking about it now and he’s working on it. Besides that, he doesn’t have to do it alone and he soon learns that Chanyeol is pretty patient with him too.

And then, when Chanyeol cracks a lame joke about the material they’re working on and thinks it’s entirely impossible, he hears a soft chuckle coming from the small boy beside him. He looks up from the papers – and finds that he himself is smiling too. It gets more awkward when Baekhyun notices that he’s being stared at and locks eyes with Chanyeol.

“What?” he asks and Chanyeol is sure then, sure that Baekhyun doesn’t mind him being there at all. He’s sure that Baekhyun does want someone to be there instead of being alone all the time. Although he’s unsure whether he should ask this already or not, he feels he needs to know whether Baekhyun will be honest or not.

“Are you angry I’m here?” he asks and Baekhyun takes his time to answer. Instead of keeping his eyes on Chanyeol’s face, he looks down at the work that’s now finished instead of still waiting for him every day. He’s not sure what to say because being angry is not what he feels, but he does feel weird and maybe even uncomfortable, but it’s not anger.

“No.” And then, something even more unexpected happens. “Your mother is nice,” he says, completely uncalled for and Chanyeol stares for another while. And then it dawns on him – Baekhyun’s mother isn’t.

“I know,” he says, somewhat awkwardly because he doesn’t know how to make that any better. “She said she will visit you more often,” he adds because maybe Baekhyun wants to know he won’t be alone.

“Oh,” is the only reply he gets though. Chanyeol leaves it at that, already happy that they had this much conversation today.

“You finally cut your hair! I’ve been saying that for weeks,” his father greets once he steps into the living room. Chanyeol merely gives a smile because what can he really say to that? “Looks good on you, son,” he adds, before picking up the discarded newspaper again and Chanyeol thanks his father awkwardly. His thoughts briefly drift to Baekhyun again – did he think so too? And why does that matter, again? He shakes his head at himself and then continues to find his mother. She’s exactly where he thought she would be; in her office.

“Mom?” he says after knocking and she lets him inside, a gentle smile on her face. Suddenly, Chanyeol is wondering whether he wants to tell her anything at all. Because why should she know that he went to visit Baekhyun like she suggested? Doesn’t he want that to be somewhat of his own little secret?

“What is it?” she asks him, as if to say she knows exactly what he’s about to say or not say and then he realizes that it doesn’t matter. She probably knows anyway, from the way he is home late.

“I went to visit him like you said,” he says, somewhat fidgety.

“That’s good, right? But you know you don’t have to come and report in, unless there’s something wrong of course.” She studies her son’s face, but Chanyeol hopes for a second that he hides it well. Then he lets it all go.

“I’m scared he’ll die,” he says in a small voice and now that he says it out loud for the first time, he feels his throat constrict – even though he knows his mother isn’t the one who can help Baekhyun. “I know he doesn’t like me much, but– but I just… And… I don’t know,” he finishes and there’s not a single cell in his body that feels embarrassed for crying in front of his mother. She rushes from behind her desk to embrace the body that’s much larger than her own, but there’s no discomfort – only pain in her heart to see her son like this. She doesn’t care that it’s about another boy, in fact she’s happy her son is capable of having so much emotions towards anyone at all.

Chanyeol needs a while to calm down and his mother simply lets him be, she doesn’t have to say anything. He wipes his eyes and sniffles a few times before a smile returns to his face and for someone who is as close to him as his mother, it’s easy to see that he hasn’t smiled for real like that for some time.

“He thinks you’re nice,” he tells her and although she wants to tell him that Baekhyun thinks Chanyeol is nice too, she doesn’t because she thinks it’s entirely up to himself to find that out. She knows a lot more things about the short boy from her one visit, but she’s definitely not finished with him yet – especially because she knows that he means something to her son. Instead, she says the next best thing that comes to her mind.

“He’s nice too, although he hides it pretty well.”

Chanyeol thinks so too and he wants to do something about it, especially because it might be too late soon.