The rain beat against the window pane, lulling the cuddling couple to sleep as they breathed in the cool air. Their bare skin against one another underneath the thick duvet kept them warm as they drowned themselves in the serene environment. A night full of adventures in the rain kept them on their toes, running around and dancing along the Brooklyn Bridge with one another while everyone else stayed indoors, but them spending the night in the same bed in each other’s arms was a first.

Suga looked down at a sleeping Jungkook , wondering how something so innocent could be so dangerous for him. Something so sweet was so toxic, but in the best way possible. For three months the two of them had been at each other’s beck and call, running to the rescue when either of them was in need of a breath of fresh air, playing cat and mouse in the Manhattan Mall, early morning breakfasts in West Village at hole-in-the-wall cafes, midnight dances on the rooftops of whatever building they could sneak in to. All of it had been wonderful, all of the memories they created with one another, all the laughs, the smiles, the kisses had been delightful littles treasures.

He often thinks back to the first time they met at that club he bartends at, how things seemed to be dull until a shy and timid Jungkook waltzed into his life. Quite literally too. It was the normal Friday night rush when Suga caught Jungkook trying to buy a drink whilst being underage. The younger looked so scared when Suga asked to see his ID that he literally almost ran away back into the crowd, but Suga was used to punk kids and quickly grasped his wrist before he could disappear. It was that innocent and fearful look in Jungkook’s brown eyes that made Suga soften towards him.

“Wait for my shift to end, okay?” Suga had said to Jungkook after concocting him a mimosa and setting him down near his side of the bar. What was someone as childish as him doing in a crazy club like that? Suga still wonders this even after finding out how wild and spontaneous the younger truly is. At the end of the night, Jungkook had stayed and left hooked up on Suga’s arm with a slight buzz.

Wild is an understatement, as the elder soon came to find out. After the bar, Jungkook suggested for them to go to the Empire State building and the elder just couldn’t say no to him. Up they went and down came their guards, taking pictures together and overlooking the lit up city beneath them. When it was close to closing time, they headed down to the gift shop where Jungkook bought Suga a snow globe to commemorate their first outing together. Every adventure since that first night has been one that Suga ingrains into his memory, locking it away from the rest of the world.

The younger fidgeted a bit and turned to face Suga with his eyes still closed until finally he settled again and fell back into his deep sleep. He watched the younger with careful eyes, glancing over his soft features and making a picture in his mind. This wasn’t meant to last, Jungkook told him that from day one and Suga was the fool that slowly fell for the younger. Each gentle kiss made his heart skip a beat, every outing was one he never wanted to end, all the pictures he kept in a box under his bed were painful reminders that things weren’t going to be forever between them, but still he had hope for a future.

“Every relationship I’ve been in has been a foolish mistake,” Jungkook told him one night when they were sitting on top of a train in the outskirts of the city. “I have no plans for falling in love, but I don’t mind pretending for a short while.” Suga felt his heart break a little when he spoke those brutal words with such ease. That night was the first time in all his years of living that he wished upon a star for Jungkook to stay. Stay in the state, stay in New York City, stay in his life for good, but as time passed, his wish became a fading dream that stabbed him in the back.

The pitter-pater of the rain resembled the way Suga’s heart beated when Jungkook first pulled him in for a kiss. It was after a jazz concert near the Hudson River, the younger had been extremely affectionate with the elder all evening until he finally gave in to his desires and kissed Suga goodbye before going up to his small apartment. He swore to himself he wouldn’t get attached; all his happy feelings would turn into sadness when Jungkook would move across the country to another city, but his heart got to the best of him. Love is a stronger greed than wealth, Suga knew that when he realized he wanted nothing more than to be with Jungkook for the rest of his life.

He didn’t want to fall asleep, he knew he’d wake up in his California king bed all alone and cold. He didn’t want to miss seeing Jungkook’s sleeping face for it was the first time he got to see it this close up. Of all the things he didn’t want, emptiness was the main thing yet it was inevitable. “Before things get too deep, don’t trust me. I’m a free spirit that loves nothing but traveling,” Jungkook had told them on their third adventure, when they went down to Maryland for a weekend and camped out in a vast field for the night. One would think that they either would’ve been murdered or kidnapped with all the crazy things they had done together, but nothing serious like that had happened. Suga believed it was because Jungkook was his good luck charm, but the younger believed it was just because it wasn’t their destiny for those things to happen.

When the sky began to lighten up outside, the elder knew morning was approaching them rather quickly. His chest tightened when reality slowly began to set, Jungkook wasn’t his and this moment would be gone before he got the chance to fully let himself be happy. A silent tear rolled down his cheek as he watched the other dream so delicately. His innocence meant everything to Suga, he wanted the younger to be oblivious to the cruelness the world carries, but he knew one day he would be exposed to it… without him.

“I can feel you watching me,” Jungkook whispered before slowly opening his eyes to look up at the elder. “I thought I told you not to fall in love with me.”

“I never promised that I wouldn’t,” Suga responded in a dejected tone. “Don’t go,” he whispered in a barely audible tone, but the younger heard it and smiled half-heartedly.

“Believe me when I say a truly liked you,” Jungkook said as he rolled over more and propped himself up on his elbow to look at the elder better.

“Liked… I guess I lost your interest…” Jungkook leaned down and pressed his lips against the elder’s gently. He pulled back and looked at the elder thoughtfully.

“Believe me when I say I’m truly in love with you.” Suga felt his heart stop then pick back up and pound in his chest.

“Stay with me,” he whispered. Jungkook nodded then leaned back down to kiss him deeply. He mumbled to word fool before laying back down against the elder’s chest and coaxing him to fall asleep. “I love you,” he said, earning him a hum in approval from the younger as they both drifted off into dreamland.

It was when the elder woke up in his empty bed he realized he had fallen asleep before the younger had woken up and he had dreamed that his deepest desires had come true. There were no words of love spoken between them, there was no happy ending. Jungkook was gone, vanished like a ghost out of thin air, and his heart broke to the pitter-pater of rain against his window pane as he curled into a ball and cried himself to sleep.

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A/N: I’ve been having a lot of Yoonkook feels lately, but very much angsty feels between them two. I hope you guys enjoyed this :) comment what you think!