It began as all bad days usually do, innocently while lulling one into a false sense of hope. And it was just about to get worse.

Do Kyungsoo was what the world calls, a cynic when it came to omens. So when he stubbed his toe against the doorway, realised there were no toaster waffles left for breakfast, walked into his living room only to find his roommate/best friend and said roommate’s oddball space nerd boyfriend in an extremely comprising position on his favourite sofa- this was at 8 in the morning, mind you- he just let out a loud sigh (not that the couple heard) and let himself out the door. Breakfast could definitely wait; his appetite was far gone anyhow.

A normal person would have screamed in frustration if the coffee they bought at the posh coffee store down the street, after waiting in line for a good half an hour, fell on the pavement outside and on their favourite leather oxfords, but no, Do Kyungsoo just sighed again and continued on to work.

 Good man, that Do Kyungsoo, despite his love for sighing out loud dramatically.

When he reached work, it was the usual. His pregnant lady boss screamed at home for wearing a blue shirt (apparently the baby was a boy, she wanted a girl smh), his intern/assistant did not bother showing up- having been arrested for having weed or something (to his credit, he informed Kyungsoo about this at 5 in the morning that day… when he called to beg him for bail money) and realised that Chanyeol, his roommate’s annoying boyfriend, ate all the chicken in the chicken salad he had packed for lunch.

At this point, Kyungsoo started to get a little bit annoyed. He was hungry, his shoes were ruined and he had to deal with his boss giving him hate because of his shirt. Plus he couldn’t get the image of Chanyeol eating his chicken salad out of his mind.

But no, Kyungsoo powered on until lunch, eating his sad chicken-less salad and drinking the sad excuse for coffee in the lunch room. He was about to give himself a mental talk about the importance of positivity in one’s life when while eating his pitiful meal, his ex sent him a couple of pics on snapchat, all captioned ‘meet my new pet snake’. His life was so sad.

His mood was made a little better when Baekhyun, his roommate and occasional best friend, gave him an apology call for the sight he saw in their living room. That was until Baekhyun asked if he could pick up dinner tonight. From a restaurant nearly 10 miles away.

Alas for Baekhyun, Kyungsoo being Kyungsoo cut the call after using some choice expletives. But since Kyungsoo hated overreacting and fighting with said best friend, sent Baekhyun an apology flower emoji. Baekhyun sent back a smiling octopus. And so, they were best friends again.

After the dramatic lunch episode involving best friend drama, sad salad and bad pics (come on Kris, there’s a reason you two didn’t work out), Kyungsoo was all too ready to call it a day. But since the fates were being particularly cruel to him that day, that would not be the case.

Narrowly escaping his crazy pregnant boss lady, he was excused rudely from his dreams of being a free help by a text from Baekhyun: SOS Chan ate all the food. Damn it, now he had no excuse but to get dinner from outside. Why was he such a kind soul?

At this even Do Kyungsoo figured out that the universe was conspiring against him. But why? He paid all his bills on time, called his parents regularly like the dutiful son he was and even let Chanyeol stay over at the apartment without any problems, changing the locks only three times since. He was a good person. Or maybe it was karma for ignoring Sehun his pothead assistant, sorry intern’s, desperate pleas for bail money.

Maybe he’d buy Sehun something extra nice when he saw him next, like a cronut. Yes, that kind act would probably keep him off the universe’s list for a while.

So while he waited like a regular citizen who was too broke to buy a car but hoped his t money card had enough balance for a bus ride to the other side of town, Kyungsoo ignored the world around him, dreaming about the endless possibilities of what could have been if he wasn’t stuck at his crappy desk job.

Just as his day couldn’t any worse, Kyungsoo had to sit next to a weirdly fishy smelling ajhumma, who took it upon herself to set him up with her daughter, who was apparently quite a looker for a 43 year old divorcee, for the entire goddamn ride. Kyungsoo stared up at the ceiling of the bus wearily: Really, universe really?

As he drudged along the sidewalk, smelling faintly of fish- desperately tired and hungry; all he wanted to do was get the food, go home and sleep. Possibly look up a shaman too, for luck.

The restaurant was shut; apparently it had violated some health codes. Of course, of bloody course this had to happen today, Kyungsoo thought hysterically, giving up and squatting outside the restaurant. Who cares if he was getting concerned looks from strangers as they walked by? Who cared if he was on the verge of the ultimate mental breakdown? Not him, sure as hell.

It was quite some time later, when Kyungsoo was roaming aimlessly down the roads, that he realised he was beyond hungry. Screw Baekhyun and his incessant texts and food inhaler of a boyfriend, he was going to get something to eat for himself. Although he didn’t know where he was, he could get it was a sort of posh area, judging by the sizes of the houses around him. Maybe he could beg for some caviar and crumpets or something.

He had been imagining himself conversing with Jo In Sung when he realised that one of the houses (he meant mansions) he passed by was suspiciously well lit up and loud. Normal Do Kyungsoo would have sighed aloud and continued on with his imaginary conversation, but not today. Today, Do Kyungsoo was a different man, a man whose dignity had been stripped from him from the universe and every damn person in it. Today, Do Kyungsoo was letting out his inner cray cray. Today, ladies and gentlemen, Do Kyungsoo was going to gate crash a party for food and not give a rat’