I was doing Addmaths cheerfully, learning the ever so hard logarithm using every brain cells that I still have that day when Minho showed her to me.

I knew that it was her even from her back side. She was gorgeous, donning her dark brown scarf that complemented her slightly tanned skin perfectly.

"No wonder he likes her," I thought, looking at my own shoes for no particular reason.

The past memories hit me like a sudden thunderstorm and I was paralyzed instantly as I stared at her, unmoving. 

"Do you still like her?"
"No, Kibum! What are you talking about? Ugh, nevermind...."

"I still have this instinct that screamed 'Jonghyun still likes her even though he said no', I am correct, am I?"
"Yes... I do like her, but...,"

Minho mumbled something incomprehensible at me and gestured for me to come closer, but I refused, shaking my head repeatedly as I retreated back to my seat. As if he detected my sudden change of mood, Taemin came up to me and patted my head. I looked up at him as I felt my tears b.

"Are you afraid that they will meet-" He tried asking, but I already know what he was going to say.

"No, not really." I cut him off, wiping my tears with the end of my sleeves as he stared at me sympathetically. "It's just that I have a feeling that they already met. You know... like he was informed that she was going to come or they probably came here together just now and- go away, Taeminnie."

"I'll go Kibum... But please stop crying, okay? Your eyes are already so red, it's dangerous!"

I stopped talking abruptly to calm myself. Taemin patted me on the shoulder like a mother would after letting out a sad chuckle and I couldn't be more thankful to have him by my side. The problem was just that I would cry harder and let out my ugly sobbing if I didn't stop and usher him out of the scene, because Taemin equals to an empty paper I would scribble my stories to, and if I see him whenever I felt like crying, I would totally cry on the spot.

Taemin walked away and I turned around to see Onew who looked at me with a sorrowful expression. As I wiped the last remains of my tears, I tried smiling as brightly as I could at him.

"I'm okay!" I told him, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"It's okay... There are a lot of guys out there that deserves you better," Onew told me. My laughs came out louder than what I intended for them to be. Funny on how I still had the audacity to laugh when I literally felt my whole sanity breaking down like pastries at that moment.

"Who?" I asked myself over and over again as I laughed internally.

I am... Not pretty. That is a fact, and anyone doesn't even have to tell me that because I can see it with my own two eyes. I feel like I am the least attractive compared to my friends and even though I tried keeping these feelings inside, I can't help but break down whenever they say anything hurtful, even if they're just joking. I am not the brightest bulb in the box, and that alone explains everything. These facts make me wonder why I even existed in the first place.

That person was the one who picked me up when I was falling, gave me strength and kept telling me to be positive; but he was now the reason that made me trip and fall down again.

Kim Jonghyun.

I looked up and spotted him on a table near the bulletin board. He was holding his red mechanical pencil, (he was using the pink one with black stripes that I gave him last time), and some of my classmates were sitting beside him, listening attentively to what he was talking about. He scribbled something on the worksheet we were provided and proceeded to enter some numbers on the calculator.

"Amazing," I thought. He was sure an amazing guy. He came around and made me feel like a royal prince, then he went away with a piece of my heart in his clenched fists. Now I am punching random numbers into my calculator, but I know I'll be crying my heart out that night and forget everything by the next day.

When I said everything, I meant excluding him, because he'll come around again soon and the vicious cycle will be repeated until no one knows when.

This is a real story, I just altered it a bit so it won't be so sad for me to read again later lol.

T_T

I'm so heartbroken lolololololol k bye T_T

Please pray that I'll move on as fast as I can lol.