Forgive Me
In The EndI’m smiling as if I’m okay, as if nothing’s wrong
I chose you and I was sorry that I blamed you
I can’t get over you, I need this heartache to end
You still look so pretty, but you look sad for some reason
Can’t we go back to how it was before? To the beginning?
" Hey Jisoo do you think seungcheol will like his present" Jeonghan said as he showed me the present he got seungcheol for their anniversary. " Of course he will he loves anything that you get him" i said as i looked out the window and towards the busy seoul street until i saw him standing there looking so lost.
As i looked at him i couldnt help but feel nostalgia and pain because i remember how we badly we ended.
" why are you lying Jisoo? I know you love him not me. Dont lie anymore please just end this. Stop hurting me i just want to be free Hyung" Minghao said as tears ran down his face. I felt my chest swell with pain as i saw the raw hurt in his eyes.
" Minghao please just let me explain it isnt like it seems. Me and him arent anything i promise you that i only love you" i said as i tried to touch him before he slapped my hand away.
" Dont lie Hyung. I saw you two together you cant deny that. And Junhui saw you too so you cant lie to me so please stop holding onto me" you said to me as you gave me our promise ring but before you could leave i grabbed you harshly by your arm and pinned you to the wall. I couldnt stand thinking of seeing you with him. I pinned your hands above your head harshly enough to leave bruises in your beautiful skin.
" I wont let you ing leave me do you hear. Yes i was with him but i dont love him, he was drunk and so was i he thought i was someone else. Please believe me Mingh" " Your Hurting me Hyung. Let me go" He screamed as he struggled in my grasp i quickly let go and see how where i had his hand pinned was turning red and would probably soon bruise.
" you admitted it Hyung. Its over now theirs no going back. We loved but it seems as if that love wasnt enough for you. So Goodbye Hyung, just know i love you now and ill love you then" You said as you walked away from me. As you exited the apartment i felt like i lost a piece of myself. I looked at the closed door before i started trashing my apartment. Throwing anything in sight and thats when i got to a photo of us and i felt pain when i saw it so i threw across the hall and it hit the wall shattering to pieces just like us.
" Minghao" i mumbled as i saw you just standing their until i notice someone coming behind you and giving you a backhug. I saw you say sonething as a smile crept onto your lips and you turned around to kiss whoever that person was. I smiled thinking that you had finally found someone who will love you entirelt and purely.
" Hey You ok" i heard jeonghan say as i turn to look at him and see him looking at the same direction i was staring at. His face fell when he saw him, he still felt like it was his fault that me and Minghao ended but it isnt. It was only part of the reason but not really. Minghao i thought i hurted that boy more than anything. I blamed it on jealousy since i hated seeibg him with junhui. I took my anger out on him, i became so cruel towards the boy i promisef to love. I regretted hurting him and if i could i would take it all back and love him and treat him great but obviously that couldnt happen. He has moved on and now its my turn to move and find someone.
" Come on jeonghan shouldnt you be going to look for seungcheol" i said as i stared at him. He was still looking at Minghao. " Oh damn your right. Look ill see you around. Stay strong" He smiles at me and then promptly turned around to leave. I smile as i think of how over protective he became eventhough its been seven months since i broke up with Minghao.
I close my eyes as i hear the chimming of the door when it opens. I breathed in the scent of coffe as i think. " H-hyung is that you" My eyes quickly open when i hear that sweet voice and standing infront of me was none other than you.
" Minghao-ah" i said as i softly smiled at you. Tears started running down your face as you stared at me. My smile fell as tears cascaded down your face. "Hey dont cry come on" i said as i grabbed his shoulder and pulled him in the direction of a secluded area in the cafe.
" Shh its okay dont cry." I said as i soothingly rub his back. " N-no it isnt. You dont understand Hyung. I love you i still do, i cant get over you even if im with Junhui- Hyung its always been you who was in my heart" as those words came out of your mouth i felt like the word had stopped because yes ill admit i wanted you back but thinking about it morw makes me think that i dont deserve your love or affection not when i threw it away so long ago.
" Dont say that Minghao because i cannot love you so please move on and love Junhui. Hes someone better than me in so many ways and i know that he can make you more happier that i ever can. I no longer deserve your love so please let me go. Our love was beautiful at the beggining you were overflowing but slowly i ruined you. I hurt you despite the fact that i loved you and i broke my promise" i look at your crying face one more time before standing up.
"Be happy My Dear Beloved because that is all i wish for you nothing more and nothing less. Dont let the past hold you back and dont let your love for me keep you stuck in the past either. Move on and love, this is my last Farewell. Our story was beautiful in the beggining but in the end it ended as a tragic love story. GoodBye Minghao, My Love" i said as i turned away from you and started walking away ignoring your cries.
I smile for the last time as tears fell from my . I walk onto the street and move to the crossing were cars pass. Tears running down my face i step forward ignoring your cries that sounded so distant. I heard a car honk and i heard you scream my name as the car hit me. I groaned in pain as i rolled off the car and unto the ground. All i could feel was pain as slowly second by second i felt my life slip away from me. I coughed out blood as i made out your face through all the haziness. I made out that beautiful voice that always sang me to sleep. I smiled " L-live M-minghao" i coughed out blood as i tried to say that before everything went black i heard you scream no but i could no longer feel my body.
Farewell Minghao....
Well this came out more different than i thought it would. In the original Jisoo wasnt supposed to die but i just wrote it like this and i feel so bad for killing Jisoo in this story.
Thanks you to the people who have subscribed to this story and hopefully its good though i feel not alot of people will read it.
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