The moon shone bright through the drifting silken curtains, the autumn leaves dancing in the silver light as they landed softly onto the balcony. The old man shifted in his armchair as he took a shuddering breath, his old bones aching in his movement from the years of his straining profession as he tried to settle back into sleep.

 

            There, he could dream of his youth, the days he spent in his adolescence with the one he loved: running through the wheat fields without a care in the world, picking fresh apples from the old master’s orchard and sharing it after jumping off from the tree, laughing as they’re chased off into the distance by the grumbling old kitchen maid, settling next to each other while trying to catch their breath, holding each other’s faces as they bring themselves closer…

 

            It’s as if he could feel the same fingers even now like how they would have brushed his face all those years before…

 

            “Oh Jackson…”

 

            It felt so real, the finger carefully tracing his brows, his cheekbones, the bridge of his nose…and he shut his eyes tighter as he leaned more towards the touch, afraid that it’ll all be gone once he opened them.

 

            “Oh Jackson, how time has changed you.”

 

            He slowly opened his eyes at the last word, and the blurring shapes before him slowly began to clear.

 

            “I must be hallucinating in my old age,” he chuckled as mused aloud, “you haven’t aged a day since I last saw you.”

 

            The man before him smiled, but the amber eyes were still sad and glazed with tears. “You know this is no hallucination, Jackson.” He whispered quietly, “You know that I can’t age.”

 

            Jackson laughed at that, chocking slightly and breaking into a cough. The man in front of him quickly got onto his knees before pulling Jackson towards him as he carefully patted the old man on the back. The solidity of the young man holding him was enough to prove to Jackson that he wasn’t hallucinating, that it wasn’t a dream and he was very much  real and alive in front of him.

 

            “You remembered me.” Jackson breathed as he straightened himself back into his chair. He was not shocked, as he knew someday it would happen, though not necessarily in his lifetime, but he couldn’t tell if the churning feeling in him was excitement or fear, or something more.

 

            “Of course I remember you, oh Jackson, how I regret everything…”

 

            “ You couldn’t have helped it, there’s no need to regret.” The old man stated simply, but laughed bitterly at the irony of things. “Look at you, hitting the beginning of your prime, and here I am wasting away. I once thought we were going to be together forever, but I guess it was never meant to be like that.”

 

            Before he knew what was happening, a gentle thumb wiped away the tear slowly trailing down his cheek, and only then did he realize he was crying.

 

            “I didn’t want to be like that either,” he heard the boy before him choke out, “I really didn’t, but it…”

 

            Jackson watched in horror as he watch the crimson trails fell from the other’s eyes as he gently grabbed hold of Jackson’s hands, before sobbing into his arms as he rested himself on Jackson’s knees.

 

            “It wasn’t your fault.” Jackson spoke softly as he removed a hand before running his fingers through the boy’s soft blond hair. “If anything, it was mine.”

 

            After all, if he hadn’t been so prideful and ready to prove himself when he was young, if he hadn’t been so rash in his fury due to jealousy, hadn't been so self centred to ignore the safety of the only person he’s ever loved into question – maybe they would have been together, and one of them wouldn’t be wasting away in his guilt and loneliness and the other wouldn’t be cursed with unwanted immortality and a life to be spent in darkness.

 

            “You could have joined me,” Jackson heard a shaky whisper. “We could have been together if you joined me. Immortality wouldn’t be a curse if we were together, and I’m sure that even if we didn’t remember we would have fallen in love again like before. We could have –“

 

            “But you know I couldn’t have done it.” The old man breathed quietly, “I am a coward, and I still am. I fear death, but not as much as I fear the uncertainty of immortality.”

 

            “But you’re willing to leave me alone in the curse.”

 

            There was no bitterness in the statement. There was no blame, and no anger. There was only sadness, and Jackson didn’t know how to respond.

 

            Slowly, he looked out the window, and saw another figure staring back at him.

 

            “Jinyong.”

 

            The boy’s head flew up from where it was resting on Jackson when he heard the name, fear and concern in his face when he looked his master in the eye. Jinyong didn’t move from his spot, and his expressionless changed to something as he looked down at the boy before Jackson.

            “I’m not mad, Mark.”

           

            Those four words visibly made the boy relax.

 

            “But it is time to go.”

 

            Mark was about to protest when Jackson gently pushed the boy’s arms from his knees.

           

            “He’s right, it’s almost daylight.” Jackson croaked, not really wanting the boy to go but forcing himself to act cold for the boy’s own good, “You can always visit me again if you want to reminisce over the past.”

 

            He could see the hurt in Mark’s eyes, but he simply smiled good-naturedly as Jinyong guided Mark towards the balcony.

 

            “Go on Mark,” Jinyong stated, “I need to pay proper greetings to my old friend.”

 

            Mark hesitated before nodding slowly, taking one last look at Jackson before taking off into the night.

 

            Jackson sighed once Mark was gone, heart clenching, but at the same time relieved. He turned to the figure silhouetted in the moonlight, the crashing waves of emotions he would have felt years before now a gentle ripple across a still pond.

 

            “You gave him back his memories.”

 

            Jinyong didn’t turn back to look at him, but simply remained gazing into the distance that Mark had disappeared to. “You’re dying, tonight is your last night.”

 

            The words were simple and clear, and Jackson had known the whole time.

 

            “He begged for his memories back even though he didn’t know why, and I crumbled under the fear that he’ll hate me if I didn’t let him see you at least once before your death.”

 

            Despite the pain felt in his heart, Jackson smiled at that.

 

            “You love him too, don’t you.”

 

            He heard Jinyong laugh as he turned to face Jackson. “Who wouldn’t? He has the heart of an angel.”

 

            “You’ll take care of him then? Make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid after my death?”

 

            There was a silence there, and Jackson was almost afraid of the answer to come.

            “Yes.” Jinyong’s voice was calm and strong despite his hesitance. “I will keep him safe.”

 

            Jackson nodded at that, before trying once more to twist into a more comfortable position. “It is good to have your word. Now, I know it is punishable to order a pureblood, but Jinyong, will you give this old man the pleasure of a respectable and silent death with only my memories? While I have come to enjoy you more over the years, you are not exactly my first choice in who I want to die in front of.”

 

            Jinyong raised an eyebrow before his lips twisted into a sad smile. “Even in your old age, you have that way with words.” Jackson chuckled at that, which ended in a slight cough, but was glad to see, as his eyelids began to fall, Jinyong’s slight bow as he too disappeared into the night.

 

            In Jackson’s memories, he and Mark had just fallen into the soft autumn grass laughing and out of breath from their run up the hill, a half eaten apple still in his hands while the others that Mark had just dropped lay in a haphazard circle around him.  Mark’s head had landed in the nook of his arm, and while it had hurt a bit at first, he couldn’t help but believe that Mark fit there perfectly. Turning over to look at the boy he had come to love, he saw Mark still laughing, cheeks flushed with life in a way that Jackson hadn’t seen him since they were toddlers. Mark who had sensed Jackson’s stillness, looked over to check on his friend, only to see Jackson staring intensely at him.

 

            Their breathing grew heavier, not from the chase up the hill or the wind being knocked out of them when they fell, and Jackson remember his hand tracing Mark’s cheeks as he gazed at his lips.

 

            “I love you.” He remembered saying, “and I always will.”