Jackson first heard Mark was coming back home in their tiny town two weeks before it had happened. So Jinyoung has heard from “not-boyfriend-but-best friend” Jaebum, who heard from an old family friend of the Tuan family that they were taking a break off their busy L.A. life to come spend the summer in the place of their origin, meaning their small but lively town, taking their son, Mark, the new teenage heartthrob of the Hollywood together with them.The parents visited sometimes, Jackson found out that later then everyone as well, but “angel of the new cinematic age” (as the magazines cheesily took up in calling) refused to come with, keeping up with his hectic schedule.

When Jackson asked why the sudden change in heart about coming here in Mark, Jinyoung was quite shocked to find out that the older male didn’t read the gossip magazines. When Jackson replied that he is too busy for dumb like that, his younger friend took up upon himself to inform him of the latest news. Many of the magazines said that Mark’s boyfriend, a man known for being a notorious playboy, has been caught cheating on the “angel” with a Victoria’s Secret supermodel, which broke the young man’s heart into metaphorical tiny shards and so he agreed to come over the town and clear his mind of the drama from L.A.

The older male questioned himself for a moment on what annoyed him the most in this story: the fact that he had no idea that Mark accepted his quite questionable uality even from he was way younger, the fact that Mark had a boyfriend and he never knew or the fact that said boyfriend dared to make his best friend...- no- ex-best friend experience heartbreak.

In the end Jackson decided that there is no point in getting annoyed at absolutely anything, after all, Mark had nothing to do with him anymore and that wasn’t his doing at all, but rather the “angel’s”.

Sometimes it was hard to believe to Jackson that there was a time when he could proudly say that Mark is his best friend in the whole wide world. He said that when they were barely 5 and 6 years old, respectively, he said it when he first entered middle school together, he said it in the first year of high school, he said it when Mark got his first role in a commercial and then in a small movie.

He said that when Mark has been so happy that everything has turned out alright that he jumped into Jackson’s arms and kisses him square on the mouth, smiling the whole time.

Jackson was proud to call Mark his first crush, his first love, even though they never spoke about it. But he was there, and it was alright.

o.o.o.o.o.o.

Jackson could no longer admit to himself, now a grown-up of 23 years old that the day when Mark left for L.A. to pursue his career at 17 years old, while Jackson was 16, hurt him in ways that his heart didn’t know could hurt. But as long as Mark was happy, he was happy too, because that’s what best friends do, support one another through thick and thin.

They kept in touch for a while, the elder updating his friend of what happened in his life, what roles he landed, what T.V. shows he went to or what celebrities he met. It was interesting to find all of those out, but Jackson’s heart was hurting, needing the affection it couldn’t get with his best friend that far away from him.

They broke contact too soon for Jackson to be prepared for the hit. He only found out through an interview that Mark’s phone has been found out by some fans and he was obliged to change said phone number. However, that didn’t excuse him from never contacting Jackson ever again.

When he was about 18, Jackson sadly realized that in all truthfulness, Mark didn’t need to be Jackson’s best friend anymore. After all, who was Jackson actually and why would someone like him deserve the title that many others, more competent men and women could take.

And from then, he couldn’t proudly name Mark his best friend, because Mark didn’t want him as his best friend. Maybe he never did.

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Two weeks after the discussion with Jinyoung here they were, sitting beside the counter at the small diner they were working at, contemplating what news will that day bring them while Jinyoung’s “not boyfriend” was making a tremendous lot of fun at Jackson’s new blonde hairstyle.

“Is it to impress the long lost hubby?” He asked in that sickly sweet sarcastic tone of his and Jackson had a hard time not wiping out the towel around his waist and slapping the elder male with it, remembering that his boss wasn’t quite a big fan of violence in his establishment.

“Can’t a hot man randomly decide to change his style and become even hotter than before?” He retaliated, wiggling his brows at the elder man to make up his point. Jinyoung laughed at his boyfriend’s disgusted look and Jackson laughed with him for the first time in two weeks, amused by the antics of his two closest friends.

It got better, he realized, his pain over the loss of his official best friend. There were a lot of great people in the world. Some that you meet on accident while on the bus like he met Jinyoung, some that had the same passions as you, like the nice guys in his fencing team, and some met during the hours of work at the diner to pay for said fencing club membership, like Jaebum, a fellow waiter or the fun dudes that were working in the kitchen, Bambam and Youngjae.

Their presence transformed the sulking and moody Jackson in his old, true self, full of energy and life and jokes and who spoke like a broken record. They and his family were his life now, his source of power. There was no point in crying over the spilt milk.

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Even if he knew that, he assured himself more times that day that there was no point in caring, why did his heart and mind do a double flip when his eyes laid on the very handsome, the very angelic looking and the very grown up Mark in all flesh and bones while the manager of the diner and his mother were outside the establishment, talking animatedly.

He considered hiding behind the counter, or behind Jaebum, whichever came first, but that probably would have made the older man to laugh so hard enough to alert three streets away from the place so he just hoped that if he stood impassively in his place with his newly got blonde fringe over his eyes it would be good enough to pass for a stranger.

But as much as he believed that it was a good plan, as much the stars were never aligned in ways to benefit him as his boss, Mark and his mom were just entering the diner and he was able to hear the old geezer cooing words at the two. “We’ll make you the best we have, not fat, I know handsome stars need to keep up with their shape.”, which made both the young actor and his mother to chuckle softly.

Jackson rolled his eyes, really, not fat? Everything the diner served was basically dripping in all sorts of fat that the blonde never bothered to question. What did he expect of Bambam and Youngjae to make them, lobster thermidor?

All of a sudden he heard his name being called by the boss and he felt the ground leaving from under his feet as his head shot up enough to see the widening in Mark’s painfully innocent eyes.

“Wang! Move your here!” he barked, as if he was talking to a slave. “The orders won’t be writing themselves down.”

Gritting his teeth and taking the small pad and pen from the counter with more force than it was necessary he made his way over, trying to seem undisturbed by the guests and all over professional. Mark and heartache or not, the bills weren’t gonna be paying themselves so he couldn’t afford to lose that job. It paid okay for the amount of work he did.

He put a smile on his face, one that he had no doubt Mark would recognize as fake, but he couldn’t bring himself to be truthful at the moment. Why did Jaebum need to be in his lunch break exactly at that moment..?

“Hello. My name’s Jackson Wang, I will be your waiter for today.” Jackson said cheerfully, placing the towel on his arm like those waiters at posh restaurants. Just because he didn’t want to lose his job that didn’t mean he won’t be a sarcastic little for the rest of the day. “With what can I serve you today?”

The boss looked pleased, apparently not having noticed the sarcasm laced in his voice. However Mark’s man gasped, finally making the connection that the boy serving tables at a diner was the little boy he had running around her house, who has been her son’s best friend.

Mark’s expression was implacable, his eyes were wide and he was obviously confused by what was happening around him. Jackson couldn’t point out if he was happy, he was sad, was he just surprised to see him. Or he didn’t care at all.

With a shake of his head, the older boy smiled up at him, bright and practiced and Jackson didn’t believe him for a second.

“I’d like a milkshake, a chicken burger and some fries. Thank you.”

The blonde raised a brow at him, challenging him silently to say more than the simple order, but rather he turned to him mom, asking her to order as well. The poor woman looked shocked at the soulless exchange, gazing from Mark to Jackson to back to her son before stammering out her order.

Jackson was slightly sorry for her, the poor woman wasn’t at fault, but he wasn’t about to cave in front of the only person that ever managed to break him. Not today and not at any time.

He brought the two their order, his boss’ eyes fixed on him so he wouldn’t do something stupid like tumble and throw all the contents of the plates in the young actor’s lap. Jackson felt like doing that though, but that wouldn’t be at all an accident.

Mrs. Tuan was still throwing him confused looks as they settled down to eat, watching her son’s impassiveness with odd eyes. It wasn’t like him at all to act like that, even with his usual shyness and quiet demeanour. Jackson was sure that she had already read that in between them something had happened.

They didn’t look at each other that evening.

.o.o.o.o.o.o.

“I heard that your ex was around.” Jaebum started as they were resting against the dirty outside wall of the building at the end of the schedule, eyes trained on Jackson. “Did you two made up?”

The younger sighed, rubbing his eyes and yawning tiredly. He was really in no mood to think about Mark at the moment, or at any moment. He didn’t want to think of Mark at all. He turned his co-worker, mustering his most y and mean expression so the other could get the message that he didn’t want to talk.

“So I will guess no.” The brunette nodded, chuckling softly, seeming amused. Jackson knew him better than that. No matter how much they were making fun of each other, in reality they really cared of each other. Well, in a very manly bro kind of way complete with petty fights, annoying laughter (especially from the blonde’s part) and Jinyoung rolling his eyes at them.

“Anyway man- I gotta go. Things to do people to see you know-” Jaebum shrugged, wearing that proud smirk he always had when he was pleased about something.

Jackson laughed, not for one minute buying that .

“I’ve seen you cooing over your phone like two hours ago. And yes, I know that’s Jin’s special ringtone.”

He had a bout of pleasure in seeing the older man sputtering, rosy cheeks as he looked in the other direction, trying to tell him that of course it wasn’t Jinyoung, but someone has sent him a picture of a cat and he-

“Whatever. I gotta go.” He said hurriedly, picking up his backpack and making his way to the main road as far as he could, Jackson’s shrill laughter following him.

“Be sure to wear protection~” the younger singsonged, earning a back flipping off and a grumbled ‘Not dating’ which made him laugh even harder. He wondered when he will finally get them to admit. Well, he hoped to see that day. They really didn’t realize just how well they looked together.

Just like he and...-

He stopped that thought in time. It was unhealthy to think about things like that.

.o.o.o.o.o.o.

When he heard steps coming his way, Jackson didn’t even bother glancing up. Around the time the diner closed, the street cleaners were coming up to take the garbage from the back street. Either that or Jaebum has forgotten something at work again. His eyes were closed and his head was resting on his knees as he was sitting down on the sidewalk, that day having exhausted him more than he would have liked admitting.

The steps stopped right in front of him and the blonde boy really prayed that whoever it was believed that he was asleep.

“You look good in blonde.” The voice said, obviously belonging to a man. Obviously belonging to a certain man. A certain man that Jackson didn’t really wanna see. The certain man that provoked such a disrupture in his thoughts and feelings. He was way too tired for that.  

So he played it dead.

“I know you don’t want to speak to me.”

Well, at least he knew the truth. But when did his voice get so low and y. And why was shaking like he was about to cry.

“I also know you’re not really asleep right now, Jackson.” He said in a slightly amused voice that would have been real if the younger couldn’t hear the tears that were lacing that laughter. And he wondered why was Mark even crying. For himself? For Jackson? For them. Them, their friendship, their tiny crushes, those didn’t exist anymore.

“I was . I was to you, I was to our friendship. And I know why you acted like you didn’t know me today.” Mark continued, and through the tiny crack of image he could see with his buried face, Jackson could see the way in which he was nervously tapping his pristine leather shoes to the pavement. “You kind of scared my mom though, she now thinks we both have amnesia.”

Jackson held himself not to chuckle at that.

“I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness for what I did.”

‘Hell yeah, you don’t’, Jackson though, still just listening quietly to what the older boy had to say.

“But i will try to get it anyway.” He announced, finally stilling. “And I don’t care if you’d let me or not, I will still try Jackson. I want our friendship back.”

It hurt a bit, of course Mark wouldn’t remember that somehow it became more than that. He wanted to say that, but he could already hear the soft sound of steps moving away from him and he could let out the breath he didn’t realise he was keeping.

His heart ached and his mind was at war.

He didn’t want to forgive Mark for what he did, and he didn’t deserve to be forgiven even. But Jackson knew himself better and knew that very rarely was his mind stronger than his heart.

And his heart wanted Mark back as well, the traitor.