~

You wanted to believe

That’d we’d ever disagree beneath the dream

Now it’s cold as ever

I always wanted to deny

But the ocean makes the sky like you and I

It's been there, wait forever

~

They were at it again. Another fight in tow for the third time that week. Another argument of his ‘career.’ Another argument of the biggest mistake in his life because it wasn't just him anymore, it was them. Jongin and Kyungsoo. Ever since Jongin came back from the army, after serving a second tour that had him away for a year and a half, his partner and him would get into a deep discussion that later turned into an argument. It mostly consisted of Kyungsoo explaining that it was purely unfair for him to have to return to active duty with only a month's notice. The following morning was no different than the previous two. Actually, it was worse. It was unfair that they were taking Jongin from him again. After the dispute Kyungsoo had left in a heated rage. Kyungsoo couldn’t take it anymore. He loved Jongin but he couldn’t take it anymore. After Kyungsoo’s departure Jongin wasn’t sure if Kyungsoo would return home that night before the new day would begin. He wanted him in the confines and safety of their shared home. He wanted him in his line of view because he knew that Kyungsoo was hurt once again and he wanted to cuddle him to sleep but he had already left.

Little did he know that Kyungsoo himself wasn’t sure of where he was headed. All he knew was that he had wanted to clear his mind of the negative thoughts that were possessing his otherwise optimistic mind. So with that as his only sign, he left.

~

But it doesn't mean that you and I should be alone tonight

Should be alone tonight, tonight, tonight

~

Jongin was going to explode with worry. He was becoming a mad man. A pile of regret. He had spent nearly an hour, if not more, looking for Kyungsoo all over town. He checked high and low but he had no such luck. He had asked fellow neighbors and local townspeople, anyone that crossed his path, if they had seen him, but all he got was the same response, a shake of their heads and a quiet ‘no’, sometimes just a silent shake of their heads. He wasn’t ready to give up. He couldn’t do that to Kyungsoo. At least not yet. No, he was not giving up at all. With his last round of the small town he knew he was being stupid. He knew that if he wanted to clear his mind then he would go somewhere secluded and quiet. Somewhere where he would be, aside from his thoughts. So there was still one place left to check and he was positive that his Kyungsoo was there.

~

Save the last goodbye for me

One more shiny memory

Always remember

~

There they were, seated by the lighthouse on the far end of the quiet and solemn beach, wrapped in each others warmth, wrapped in each others quietness. They didn’t dare speak for a while knowing that no words would fix their situation. So instead, they sat there and tried to admire what was forefront to them although the thoughts swirling their individual minds were preventing them from doing so. Instead they tried to make the most of the time they had left together before Jongin had to leave for yet another tour overseas.

~

We burn so bright before we fall

Engines slowing to a crawl

We have it all

So why are we waiting?

'Cause even though it's hard to hold

No, we just can't let it go

Away, so stay

Keep this light from fading

~

Kyungsoo should have been thinking of the wonderful times they both shared exploring, going out on dates and the times they had stayed in and cuddled. He should have been thinking about all the times he was home. The times, or rather time, he was home for Christmas so they could spend it with each of their families. Instead Kyungsoo began to think about how he might not be able to add more wonderful moments to the list if Jongin was to leave again. He couldn’t help but think about the countless times he wouldn’t be there for future events like that. No, he was going to come back to him and he knew it. He was determined that Jongin would return. Who was he kidding? He knew that after most leave for their third tour, they never do come back. Kyungsoo had heard enough stories to know this. He had witnessed face after face of the men and women that lost their loved ones that were out for their third tour. He slowly realized that he might lose his Jongin overseas. He would lose him with other men that had vowed to put their lives on the line for their country. Kyungsoo knew that he wouldn’t be alone.

~

Yeah, we always hurt the ones we love

We hurt the ones we love, we love, we love

~

Jongin knew and he hated the fact that Kyungsoo knew too. It hurt him to know that what Kyungsoo had told him earlier was true. He wasn’t coming back. It pained him to have seen the hurt look he had after he told him. Why did he have to tell Kyungsoo so soon? He had only been home for two weeks and now he was leaving sooner than expected. It killed him inside knowing that all he did throughout their marriage was cause his partner pain and worry.

 

It never occurred to him five years ago that he would have been married to the most beautiful guy he ever laid eyes on. It never once crossed his mind that he would have been married. When he had spotted Kyungsoo in the mall, it was like an angel fell just for him and he embraced that moment everyday until their marriage day and even after that. He remembered every sweet smile. Every heart-shaped smile that was solely for him to see. Every gaze that was directed only towards him while in a crowd of people. He remembered every countless night of them together. Every morning when he had woken up to Kyungsoo’s sleeping form. He remembered everything and he didn’t want to forget them. So, while sitting next to his beauty he vowed that he had to do something for Kyungsoo to not let him sink so fast because he was only there for a limited amount of time and it was going to go by fast.

~

But it doesn't mean that you and I should be alone tonight

Should be alone tonight, tonight, tonight

~

He had an idea. He remembered one time when they were at the town fair that Kyungsoo kept nagging him to take him to. The fair that he hated as a kid when his parents took him every year but he went just for his precious Kyungsoo. It was only so they could take a picture of them both with their arms in the shape of a heart. At that time it seemed like a corny and stupid idea. An idea that teenagers would do with their others or friends. But as he sat next to Kyungsoo, it sounded like an idea dropped from above. A savior to fix their broken situation. An event that would mean so much to his Kyungsoo. It would make a difference to his husband. And that’s what he set out to do.

It was a beautiful night along what most called ‘The Lover's Path.’ It was the path from one end the beach until you reach the lighthouse at the other end. The idea of the path was to walk with your loved one to eternity, which one wishes to stay true. Jongin was never a fan of such cliché things but that's all he could think of right, to make it all better. So as the sun set and ever so slightly passionately kissed the horizon, Jongin knew it was time to break the surprising news to Kyungsoo, or rather show him. The sun was perfectly aligned with the ocean just like Jongin wanted to align his marriage with Kyungsoo before he left.

~

Save the last goodbye for me

One more shiny memory

Always remember

I'll leave the light on for you, for you

~

Surprised probably wasn’t the right word but he was extremely surprised that Jongin had wanted to take that picture. It had been a while since Kyungsoo had suggested the idea to Jongin and Kyungsoo remembers it clearly but nevertheless he seemed to have remembered. Jongin had told him that it was corny and stupid at the time so for him to propose the idea again a couple years later surely meant a lot to him. Especially since Kyungsoo thought it was, what he would call ‘fitting’ for the occasion since it will most likely be their last days together. Kyungsoo wanted to make it count because most likely all other days he had left would be consumed by training and preparing with no room for Kyungsoo.

~

Save the last goodbye for me

~

Jongin was really glad that it had cheered Kyungsoo up some. Wait, glad wasn't exactly the word he had wanted to use to describe what he was feeling. Maybe relieved was a better suited word because it was one more memory before he said his final goodbye to his partner, his dearest husband. He was relieved that he could make Kyungsoo happy in the time he had left. Relieved that this last day out with Kyungsoo made him happy. His last day out with Kyungsoo. There it goes again. The ever forsaking pain in his heart that makes him just want to forget about leaving in one month and stay by Kyungsoo side. He can’t. He simply can’t. His country is depending on him to keep them safe. He can’t let them down like that, but he can’t let Kyungsoo down like that either. Decisions were always a weak point but this isn’t his decision. He can’t say no to top authorities just so he could have more loving moments like this with his husband. It didn’t matter to them if he wouldn’t be able to see him again. They just didn’t care but he did and that was making him suffer even more. Decisions were never his strongest point but this wasn’t something he could just decide on.  

~

You and I can make it through tonight

Make it through tonight, tonight, tonight

~

They certainly had a well deserved night. It was just like before, just like when they first started dating. The only difference was that this wasn’t the beginning. This was possibly their end that they didn’t ask for. An end that only was made possible by a beginning. A beginning filled with promises that were later to be broken. A young idea that would later trigger a sorrow ending. There they sat, on the deck once again in complete silence taking in the breathtaking view of the night and each others company. They were really going to miss each other, more than they dare to admit. It will never be the same. With the lose of company from the other, nothing will be the same. It was all going to be one big lie if they said that they would be there for each other. One big lie that will dig deeper than intended. All they wanted to do was take in this last romantic moment like this.

 

* One month later overseas*

~

Save the last goodbye for me

Wake me up before you leave

Always remember

I'll leave the light on for you, for you, for you

…

You and I can make it through tonight

Make it through tonight, tonight, tonight

~

Dear Love,

You are the brightness to my day. The beautiful full moon at night. My everything. Without you, I would be nothing. I would be incomplete without you by my side. Before you, the waves never reached the shore.. The sun never shone so bright without you there next to me. The breeze never felt so calming  without you.  The rain never felt so good while holding you close to me. Nothing ever felt so good and calming. Everything felt so distant before you came into my life. All of this changed when I met you. You just broke down all of my walls when you spoke to me.Everything that I had built up was immediately broken down as soon as I let you in, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I never believed in love at first sight, but then again I didn’t believe in anything before you entered my life. You will forever and always be the most important thing to me. I hated to leave you like I did, but I had to. I didn't want to leave you. If I had the chance to go back and change one thing, I would change my career choice just for you. I would change it to just wake up to you every morning of everyday. To fall asleep next to you every night of everyday. Although you know I can’t cook, I’d try to make you breakfast on the cold and stormy days. To make dinner for you to show my appreciation because words always fail me when you’re around. To love you every minute and every second of everyday. To be around you every waking minute. To hear you nag about a new sappy movie that will come out, to hear you nag about a new recipe that you found in your cookbook, to hear you nag about anything in general. I just wish I was there for you more when I had the chance. I wish I told you that I loved you more often. I just wish for a lot of things now that I’m not with you. Now here I am, overseas, writing about how much I miss you. Its funny how things works. I always thought you would be by my side and I by yours, but here I am, overseas writing about how much I miss you. I will forever and always love you. Don't you forget that my love.

Yours Truly,

    Jongin.

*Two years later*

 

It has been exactly two years since Kyungsoo had last seen and heard from Jongin. Two years of solitude and isolation from the world. Two years of denial and shame. Two years of emptiness and restrain. Two years. Two years.. Kyungsoo knew he had to move on because Jongin told him to before he left. Jongin. He’ll never be able to see Jongin again. Ever. He’ll only be gray and stone with no emotion when Kyungsoo visits him. If he ever visits him.. Kyungsoo still had to move on but he couldn't and he loathed that. Kyungsoo tried everything that was recommended to him by family and friends except one thing which was to meet someone new for the sake of the two of them. The two of them. Kyungsoo didn’t know either until it was too late and wished he would have found out sooner but that didn’t happen. Of course. Luck wasn’t in his favor at the time. It seemed to never be in his favor. Now he prepared for two everyday. Kyungsoo went out for two every night. Kyungsoo stayed inside for two everyday and night. It would have been three but it’s just two now. Just them two for now and always. He and Jongin Jr. Yes, Jongin Jr or Kai. A nickname given to him in reminder of his father's high school days while he was on the dance team. It also served so that Kyungsoo wouldn’t have to reminded as much of the absence from Jongin. His little version of Jongin. He was a constant reminder of what Kyungsoo was missing, but Kyungsoo couldn’t burden their son like that. Not when he came in his time of need. Kyungsoo loved him nonetheless just like how he loved Kai’s his father but he will always love him a bit more.

 

Maybe Kai, now one year and three months old, was Kyungsoo's sign to move on. Kyungsoo needed to be strong for him, for them. Kyungsoo needed to be there for Kai as a friend and as a parent. So moving on was what he did for the sake of them two. Maybe Kyungsoo doesn’t have to move on completely but he can definitely pick up from where he had left off with Jongin.

 

 

__________________________________________________________________

A/N: So, yeah, that was it. I hope you all slgihtly enjoyed. I hope you didn't have high expectations based off of the description and if you did, then I'm sorry to disappoint you. I also hope that I at least did a decent job at trying to write some Kaisoo for you all.

Now excuse me while I go hide... (/.\)