trigger warnings: homophobia, violence, death l o l

Ever since he was born, Hoseok knew there was something different about him. Every time he closed his eyes, images would flick across his eyelids, showing him events that evoked certain feelings in the back of his mind, but he couldn't quite grasp why. When he was young, he'd always ask his mother: "Eomma, why am I seeing films in the back of my eyelids?"

His mother had no idea how to respond. Naturally, she thought there was something wrong with him, and she took him to several different doctors, but always got the same response: "There's nothing wrong with him. He's probably just making up silly stories like often kids do."

Now the images were much more vivid, even from different time periods. Sometimes he would close his eyes and find himself in a pre-industrial village on the mountain-side, overlooking a picturesque valley. Other times, he found himself in alarming instances from the Korean civil war, evoking a deep sense of panic and fear that some nights he would force his eyelids open, too shocked and scared to even blink.

But sometimes the face of a short, puffy-cheeked boy flicked across the screen of his eyelids. At first, Hoseok took no notice of the kid since he saw so many different people every time he closed his eyes. But the scenes became more frequent, and Hoseok found himself stopping amid his daily activities to close his eyes and simply watch the boy smile and laugh, and quickly became fond of him.

The boy's name was Park Jimin, and he lived in Busan. Hoseok only knew this because he recognised the seaside city from when his mother took him there for a "therepeutic trip" in an attempt to fix his abnormality. He soon learned that he was looking into the life of a university student and part-time rapper who called himself "J-Hope" in the mid-80s. J-Hope was also infatuated with Jimin. He loved his puffy cheeks, his pink lips, and the way his hair bounced as he walked along the street a few paces ahead, his acid-wash denim jacket two sizes too big and swamping his small body.

J-Hope/Hoseok followed Jimin until they reached the sandy beach, the water lapping up against the shore, almost touching their toes. To Hoseok's alarmed surprise and J-Hope's secret excitement, Jimin pulled off his jacket and stripped out of his shirt and trousers. Apparently J-Hope was stripping too because Hoseok's view of Jimin was temporarily blocked by the fabric of a horrendous neon-pink t-shirt (and Hoseok cursed the 80s for its embarrassing fashion trends).

When Jimin came back into view, Hoseok/J-Hope couldn't help but admire the way his chiseled body glowed in the pale moonlight. Hoseok felt goosebumps erupt up his arms and back as he suddenly felt strangely cold...

"Hoseok? Hoseok!"

Hoseok's roommate, Yoongi, shook him and his eyes flew open in an instant. Warmth flooded back into his body as he looked around him and found he was sitting on his couch in the middle of his living room where he'd fallen asleep in front of the television. Apparently he had immersed himself so much into J-Hope's life that he'd felt how cold he was.

"Wha... How long have I been out?" Hoseok asked, his voice hoarse and he winced as he stretched out his cramped shoulder.

"I don't know, man, I've been out all night, but listen, you've got to stop doing this. When are you going to sleep in your own bed for once?" Yoongi sighed exasperatedly.

"I'm sorry... I didn't even know I was sleeping, honestly," Hoseok said.

He apologised again, then went to his bedroom, closing the door and leaning against it, Hoseok let his tired eyes fall shut for a second and felt his heart miss a beat as Jimin's cute smile flashed across his lids again.

As Hoseok lay in bed the next morning, with a particularly vivid dream of Jimin's smile still playing over in his mind, a blooming feeling lingered in his chest, and Hoseok realised that he was developing feelings for a figment of his imagination.

With this growing realisation Hoseok found himself closing his eyes for prolonged amounts of time more and more often, shifting between his life and the life of J-Hope. Every time he opened his eyes, Hoseok found that his own life no longer felt like himself. 2015, despite its better fashion trends and advanced technology, became more and more uninteresting when he realised that it did not contain Park Jimin.

He knew his roommate was growing more and more irritated with him when he came home to find Hoseok collapsed on the kitchen floor after he'd only meant to close his eyes to be with Jimin briefly, but ended up taking a 4-hour nap.

As time went on, J-Hope's memories with Jimin progressed into more than friendship and infatuation and into a fully functioning romantic relationship. No sooner than a month into their relationship, Hoseok/J-Hope realised that homouality wasn't regarded as "normal" when he and Jimin were attacked on their way home from the movies.

"Hobi..." Jimin murmured as he pulled his small hand out of J-Hope's clasp. "Hobi-hyung... Why are those men following us?"

J-Hope/Hoseok turned his head to look behind him, and saw three men marching towards them, with balaclavas pulled over their heads to conceal their faces. Hoseok felt a jolt of panic as he realised what was happening. He wanted to run, wanted J-Hope to realise that he wasn't safe, that Jimin was going to get hurt, but he was only able to look into J-Hope's life, not enact any physical manipulation.

"Ya! Faggots!" shouted one of the masked men, as the other two loomed menacingly around his shoulders. Before J-Hope could react, the masked man on the left of the speaker swung a fist that collided with his jaw.

Hoseok felt J-Hope's body fall to the floor, and temporarily all he could see was the cemented pavement. He heard another thud and Jimin shout in pain, and he turned his head to see one of the men kicking at Jimin's body that had also fallen to the ground. J-Hope made to get up and protect his boyfriend but Hoseok felt his body being pushed back, before he felt a sharp kick against his groin and he keeled over.

"ing filthy faggots... I'll beat the sin out of you!" the masked man shouted as he repeatedly drove his foot into J-Hope's body.

Hoseok forced his eyes open as the distant sounds of Jimin crying out in pain filled his ears. Guilt flooded his body as he stared at the blank wall of his bedroom. It was quiet now but his head felt like it was about to explode. He grabbed at his hair and shouted out, screaming and crying as he forced his eyes open, not being able to withstand the pain of seeing Jimin beaten like that.

But how could he just abandon the boy he loves like that... Hoseok's eyes burned as he let his fingers fall from their tight lock on his hair into his lap. His eyelids begged to fall shut as he realised: he had to immerse himself fully if he was going to be able to stop the illusions. He had to fix himself.

Hoseok slipped into his bed and pulled the covers up to his neck as his eyes stung from being held open for so long. Relief came when he finally let his lids fall over his glassy irises...

J-Hope opened his eyes. The men had gone. The street was quiet. The moon was shining brilliantly. Jimin's body lay in a heap, and J-Hope saw, with a sigh of relief, that his chest rose and fell as he breathed softly. It was strangely calm, those moments after the storm.

J-Hope crawled over to his boyfriend and shook his shoulder gently. Jimin peeked up at him through his purple, swollen eyes. He let out a little cry in relief and flung his arms around J-Hope's neck.

"Hobi... Hobi-hyung... What are we gonna do? Why do they hate us? What did we do wrong?" Jimin cried into J-Hope's shoulder.

J-Hope Jimin's hair as Hoseok replied: "It's okay... It's all gonna be okay... It'll be over soon..."

The sun rose over the glimmering sea, throwing the sky into a pinky haze. J-Hope turned the car towards the glittering horizon. Jimin was sleeping peacefully in the passenger seat beside him. Hoseok breathed deeply and pressed J-Hope's foot against the acceleration pedal. The car jerked forward and J-Hope cursed under his breath as Jimin's eyes fluttered open.

"Ah hyung..." he whispered, rubbing his puffy eyes before wincing when he remembered they were bruised and swollen. "Where are we going?"

"Jimin-ah, I'm sorry," Hoseok/J-Hope whispered, as the car drove right past the carpark at the top of the cliff, and revved towards the nothingness ahead.

Jimin spun around to look at J-Hope in alarm as he realised--

"J-Hope, NO!"

The car bumped over the uneven turf.

"Hobi please... You don't have to do this!" Jimin cried.

"It's okay," Hoseok repeated. "It's gonna be okay."

The car spun off the cliff, falling, falling, until it crashed heavily into the sea below.

Hoseok's eyes fluttered open slowly. He stared at the pale blue ceiling. For the first time in a while, his mind was silent, but his heart felt unbelievably heavy. Heavy with guilt, even though he knew Jimin was never really there. Reluctantly, he shut his eyes again, but he could see nothing but the back of his eyelids, red as the afternoon light tried to filter through the tissue. It had worked. But strangely, he felt just as desolate and despondent as before.

He opened his eyes again and looked down at his body to find himself tucked into a hospital bed. There was a drip connected to his hands, and he could hear his pulse moniter beeping to his right. He turned his head to his left and saw Yoongi bent in the chair next to his bed, his head drooped with his hair hanging over his eyes. Hoseok willed himself to smile.

"Good morning, hyung," he said cheerfully, though his voice croaked as if it hadn't been used in weeks.

Yoongi looked up quickly, and let out a small "Oh!" in surprise as he got up and rushed to Hoseok's side.

"You're finally awake!" he said.

Hoseok frowned. "Finally?" he asked. "How long have I been out?"

Yoongi looked down at Hoseok, his stare soft and unfocused. "Ah, nearly two weeks now. You were in a coma."

Just then, a doctor walked into the room and Hoseok gasped as his eyes flicked over those familiar puffy cheeks. He felt like he was having the strongest deja-vu of his life. He pinched himself, but his eyes were wide open. He wasn't dreaming.

"Ah, Jung Hoseok! You're awake! Congratulations!" The doctor grinned, and his eyes curved into crescents. "I'm Park Jimin. I'm your doctor and I've been watching over you for the past two weeks."

Hoseok's heart felt lighter than a feather as Jimin smiled down at him, healthy and whole and so, so real.

a/n: oop reading back on it i realise it doesn't actually resemble that tumblr post much but there u go. also i havent written in like 50 years im a bit rusty. i have more ideas comin so look forward to them! :-)