I don’t see my brother often. Everytime I look at our pictures, I miss him, the short black hair, the gummy smile, the almond shaped eyes.

 

He was my only brother but he went to Stanford University to study Psychology. Hugging him tightly, crying happily, I felt enthusiastic when he told me he got accepted to his dream college. However a sudden realization hit me. He'll be moving out of Vancouver. None of his friends applied there, so he'd be exploring a new place, California, on his own.

 

"Do you have to go?" I remembered blurting out on accident.

 

"What are you talking about Brooke? Of course I have to go. It's my dream." He replied with a weird expression on his face.

 

"Nevermind." I brushed him off.

 

I could see that he wanted to press on, but he didn’t bother probably due to expression of my face. It seemed as if that question made him reluctant to leave. He grew up here and moving to California alone was a big change for him. My brother wasn’t the type of person who’d go back on his word. Once he sets himself on a road, he’ll follow it to the end.

 

/~/

 

Sooner or later, I forgot about the fact that he will be going to Stanford.

 

Memories suppressed, depression increased, I sat in the corner of my room, knees propped up, head laying on top. My lifeless dead eyes stared at the cerulean walls of my bedroom.

 

I didn’t want to think of anything, didn’t want to do anything.

 

I couldn’t get over the fact that he’d be leaving.

 

Even though he had five more months before he left, I couldn’t comprehend. If you think about it, those months can go by pretty quick.

 

I stayed out of the house more often and avoided my brother. Even when we were at home together, I’d try to weave my way around him.

 

It wasn't until he confronted me about this situation.

 

He came into my room and closed the door for a private conversation between us.

 

“I see what you are doing.” He said with attentive eyes.

 

“What are you talking about? I didn’t do anything.” I tried brushing him off since, already knowing where this conversation would lead to.

 

“Someone thinks I am oblivious to find out that you are avoiding me. I mean c’mon, you basically stuck to me like this.” He locked his fingers together as he leaned against the wall.

 

“And your point is?” I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

 

“Let’s hang out like we always do on Saturdays. And I’m not taking a no, maybe or I’m busy as an answer. You’re going.” He said his last words before he left my room.

 

/~/

 

On the next day, we walked around the city, ate ice cream and ended up at the park. The park was one of our most cherished place to be together. When we were younger, I used to beg mom almost every week to take us to the park since I had more charm than Kris.

 

We talked heart to heart until he found out I was avoiding him since he was leaving for Stanford.

 

Ever since this talk, I started getting less depressed and we hung out more than usual and took lots of pictures for memories.

 

/~/

 

Finally the day he’d be leaving came.

 

The day we would go to the airport.

 

It came by as fast as if he got the acceptance letter yesterday.

 

I helped load the car with his suitcases. He had three suitcases and one carryon, which was a lot since one of the suitcases were filled with his clothes! For a guy, he sure did have a lot of clothes but he still had some clothes in his closet in which he didn’t even pack. His other suitcases were filled with other necessities like a six pairs of shoes, some pictures in frames, the alpaca stuffed animal I forced him to bring, some of Canada’s best snacks (which he’ll miss them oh so much), his basketball, some of his beanies and caps, two pairs of sunglasses, polaroid camera, a navy blue duvet blanket and other junk he stuffed into his suitcase.

 

The ride to the airport was quite quiet. No one would speak up, and even dad seemed to be in down mood when he usually is quite a cheery, funny and loud person.

 

As soon as we arrived at the Vancouver International Airport, we all helped Kris unload the car and walked to the counter to check him in. After he checked in, the four of us walked to an unoccupied spot on the airport.

 

“Well this is it.” He started.

 

“This is. Have fun and enjoy the California sun!” I tried lighting up the mood.

 

“Try eating healthy. Don’t order takeout all the time,” Mom nagged about Kris’s health, “If it is too hard you can always come home, we’ll welcome you.” Mom then softened up with a small smile.

 

“Don’t take it too hard son.” Dad firmly patted his shoulder.

 

“Okay. Okay, I got it.” He chuckled as he opened his arms as the rest of us hugged him. Mom and dad released as I kept holding on.

 

“I’ll miss you lots. You better not forget about me.” I looked up at him dead straight in the eye as some tears blur my vision.

 

“I’ll never forget about you.” His voice cracked slightly as some tears blocked his vision as well. I finally let go as we waved to each other one last time before he’d go on his flight and I’d go home missing one person.

 

/~/

 

On my way home with mom and dad in the car, I was video chatting with him before he got on his flight to San Francisco. From San Francisco, he’d take a shuttle to Stanford.

 

“You better tell me everything that happens. Wait no, you HAVE to tell me. What you do, what you eat and if you have a girlfriend.” I said while laughing in the car.  

 

“Uh-huh. You have to do the same for me too. Tell me if you get a boyfriend. If he does anything bad to you, I swear I’ll come back to Vancouver--” He chuckled through the cracked screen of my phone.

 

As we kept on talking, the intercom ruined our conversation. “Flight from Vancouver to San Francisco on Delta 737 will be departing soon.”  

I was sure he saw the frown on my face as soon as he smiled brightly. “I’ll see you soon kiddo.” I heard the reluctance in his voice.

 

“See you soon Kris.” I tried smiling.

 

“I’ll call you after about three and a half hours or as soon as I reach the dorms! Bye Brooke.” He hung up the call and I closed my phone. That was it. He was really gone, on his way to Stanford.

 

/~/

 

I guess you could say I grew from this experience. I learned that people come and go from our lives.

 

There is never that one person sticks to our lives from the beginning to the end. If that person was in your life like that, you should be blessed.

 

As Jess Lair says, "If you want something very, very badly, let it go free. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, it wasn't yours to begin with." The end of this quote doesn't apply to me. Sure I did let Kris go but I'm sure he'd always come back. I'm here, our parents, his friends are here with 18 years of his memories here in Vancouver, why wouldn't he come back?

 

The only reason he wouldn't come back was if he despised or disregarded us with hatred in his heart.  The time we spent together didn't show any hatred, venom, nor disgust towards each other. Though we did have some conflicts from time to time but it was nothing that serious.

 

Our separation taught me to cherish life itself with the many memories that come forward to us along the way.

 

Cherish life, not the memories since you'll make more later in life.