A/N: as promised. ♡

After the meeting the CEO sent us off. While the other members decided to go to the practice room, Seungcheol went back to their dorm. He went straight to their shared bedroom. He opened their closets, shoeracks and tables although he had expected it, Seungcheol broke into a sobbing mess when he found all of Jihoon's things gone.

He's really leaving? He's leaving me behind.

He went to Jihoon's bed and lay in there. He removed the pillow from his head and hugged it, that's when he felt it under his head. He sit up and pick up the notebook he found under Jihoon's pillow.

When he opened the first page he found out that it was Jihoon's diary.

Jihoon started writing in his diary during the Seventeen Project. He does not write everyday, only when he feels to.

We are preparing for our debut.

It's pretty hard.

I've been a lot more busy.

I can't even have enough rest.

But it's okay.

I'm doing this for my dream.

For our dream.

For Seventeen.

I'm worried.

What if I fail?

Their future, our future is in my hands

What if I fail?

They would probably hate me.

I shall never let them down.

I'll work hard. Harder.

I'm a bad person.

I've been treating them so bad.

I just realized what I have been doing now.

When Seungcheol hyung said it.

I hurt them.

I let them down.

They probably hate me now.

Seungcheol remembers this. It was when they were in that bonfire activity. It was a stressful night for both of them, but now he realize it was a lot more stressful for Jihoon.

Seungcheol hyung said it's okay.

He said it's just the pressure.

The boys are not mad.

They will never be.

They understand.

They always will.

Because we are Seventeen.

We are a family.

"Yes Ji, we are a family."

We finally debuted.

I'm so happy.

Finally. We have been waiting for this.

Many fans said I look like Suga sunbaenim.

Really? I don't think so.

Maybe it's the hair?

But really, I'm flattered.

It's been weeks.

I can't find anything other than

"He looks like Suga."

"Oh, he even produces too."

"I think they're long lost twins"

I'm really grateful.

But is that all they can see?

I want to be known as Woozi of Seventeen.

Not "that seventeen guy who looks like Suga"

I think in order to do so I need to work hard.

Harder.

Lately I've been so busy

We're already preparing for our comeback

I've been so busy that I don't have time for them

It feels like we are slowly growing apart

That they are slowly growing apart from me.

Seungcheol just let the tears run down his face.

Seungcheol hyung and I HAD been the best of friends

We have known each other for so long

But lately it's not the same anymore.

We don't talk that much

Even if we're seating beside each other

We don't utter any single world.

I don't know what happened,

When it started

Maybe it's because of me?

I have been so busy.

It's my fault.

We're not the same anymore.

I ruined our friendship.

"J-ji. How could you even think of this?" he keeps on asking even though he knows there is no Jihoon that will answer him.

Seungcheol hyung and Jeonghan hyung

They are a lot closer now.

I'm happy for them.

Seungcheol hyung found a new best friend.

I'm happy for him.

Really.

Seungcheol can't help the sobs that were escaping his mouth. Everything he reads is just breaking his heart.

I can't think properly

Lately all my time had been wasted

I cannot do anything productive

And it's making my head ache

TERRIBLY

I still can't do anything

And the management is getting mad.

They really got mad.

We had a fight.

I can't force myself to write and produce

It will just be worthless

They said it may cause a delay for our comeback

And that got me.

I can't let that happen.

The boys will get mad.

I don't want that.

I promised them I'll do my best.

I'll work hard to produce our album in time.

It's been a week.

A week of no sleep.

Great.

But atleast I got to finish the album.

Now all we have to do is practice and prepare everything.

.

What have I done?

I shouted at Chan.

I swear I did not mean to.

I don't even know what happened.

I made him cry.

And everyone is mad at me right now.

.

I'm not feeling well.

I have not been talking to anyone for two days now.

They're still mad, I think.

I talked to them.

I said I was sorry. So sorry.

They said they are not mad.

They understand that I'm on a lot of stress.

Chan even hugged me.

I was so happy.

But there is still something wrong.

I don't know why,

But my heart is still in pain.

I don't even know what to do.

Each passing day is becoming more and more difficult.

I don't know.

I feel so alone.

I feel like living in monochrome.

I don't feel like I can do this anymore.

I love them.

But is it enough?

Will it ever be enough?

Will I ever be enough?

Should I just give up?

Seungcheol hyung,

I don't know but I have a feeling that you'll be the one to find this.

First of all I want to say sorry.

I know I've made a promise and here I am breaking it.

But as you can see I'm a big mess right now..

If I stay I will just drag everyone down with me.

I won't let you guys suffer with me.

Second, I want to thank you.

You are the best leader Seventeen could ever have.

And you are the best friend I could ever have.

Please don't ever change and if you will, make sure it's for the better.

Tell the boys I love them so much and that I am sorry.

I'm doing this for all of youl

Good bye and Good luck!

Remember that I will forever be by your side though not physically I will keep on supporting you.

I love you so much!

After he reads everything he runs out of their dorm without even thinking. He run's to the direction of the train station. When he was about to turn to a corner he bumps into someone running as well.

"I'm sorry but i'm in a hurry" Seungcheol said without looking at the person.

"H-hyung" Seungcheol stops abruptly when he heard the person calling him. When he looks back he found Jihoon.

"Ji" he immediately run to Jihoon and hugged the boy.

"H-hyung. I can't. I can't" Jihoon said while sobbing in his hyung's shoulder.

"It's okay Ji. Don't cry." Seuncheol said as he himself silently cries with Jihoon.

"I'm sorry. I'm so stupid." 

"Don't say that Ji. You're back. I'm so glad you're back" Seungcheol tightened his hug to Jihoon.

They stayed like that for a while.

Jihoon gently pushed Seungcheol away so he can look at his face.

"You're crying. I made you cry again." Jihoon said as he wipe away the tears from Seungcheol cheeks.

"I'm just so happy that you'reback." Seungcheol said as he hugs Jihoon again. "The boys will be happy to see you again."

Together, they go to their practice room. It was a mixture of crying and cheers when the rest of the members see Jihoon with Seungcheol. Chan was the one crying the hardest.

"J-jihoon hyung" he said as he hugs Jihoon tightly.

"I'm so sorry Chan-ah. Please don't cry." Jihoon tries his best to comfort Chan.

Chan eventually let go of Jihoon when Jeonghan pulled him from the pink haired boy. When everyone was able to hug and talk to Jihoon, Seungcheol pulled him to his studio.

They sit on the couch. Seungcheol holds Jihoon's hand in his.

"I've said it before but I'm goin to say it again. You are all special to me but you should know by now that you are extra special. Ji, if there's something bothering you please don't hesitate to come and talk to me. I will help you no matter what. We will do this together. Okay?" Seungcheol said as he squeeze the younger's hand.

"Okay." Jihoon answered.

"Great" Seungcheol hugged Jihoon again. "I'm so glad you're. From now on you'll never feel alone again, I will always be right here. I won't let you get depressed again. I love you Ji."

"Thank you hyung,"Jihoon said as hugs Seungcheol back. "I love you."

A/N: I'm not a fan of sad endings so yeah. :D I hope you like this story.

Please give this story some love. ❤

Comment what you think. I'd love to hear from you guys. Seriously I really like talking with fans from same fandom. ♡

Let's keep on supporting our boys.

Don't forget to vote for them. Let's give them their first win! Okay? Okay.

만새~ 🙌 ♢