BACK

-ORACLE-

THIS IS MY REALITY. THIS IS WHAT I’M GOING TO BELIEVE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The siren of the ambulance keeps on repeating in Sehun’s head like a music on play. The ticking of the clock sounds louder than it should be. The beeping sounds and the lights that turns on and off.

His breathing is uneven as droplets of sweat trail down his forehead. He run his fingers through his hair as he let out a deep sigh of pain. “I don’t care anymore.” Are bitter words that escaped his kissable lips. “Please don’t let me hear it again.”

Sehun had decided.

The bell rang signaling the students that today’s class ended.. .

“Sehun! Sehun!” Sehun was brought back to reality by Kai’s voice. He yawn and stretch his arms. “Is class done?” He asked rubbing his temple. Kai gave him a weird look. “Are you kidding me? Class ends like an hour ago.” He said sliding his blue bag pack to his broad shoulder.

Sehun tilt his head as he remember a while ago that he heard the bell rang not too long before Kai wake him up from his thoughts. Is he imagining things again?

He rub his nape as he follow his friend outside their classroom.

While walking to their empty hallways, Sehun turn his gaze to the window where it gives him full view of what’s in the field since they are still in the third floor. It gave him a nostalgic feeling by seeing the lower high school students race through the gate while teasing each other.

So like them.

Somehow, Sehun missed that part.

While he’s enjoying the view he suddenly stopped as he heard faint laughter from his back. He stopped and look at his back and saw nothing but empty rooms. ‘Maybe it’s from a room more far away.’ He thought.

“Sehun?” Sehun looked at Kai who seems to be overly worried by him. He smiled because of the face his friend is giving him. “It’s nothing.” He said as he walk closely to Kai.

They decided to hang in their favorite place to meet with their friends, Sehun wants to go home but since Kai insist, he doesn’t have a choice and since their childhood friends are coming as well, he half-heartedly join.

Kai and Sehun arrived earlier than expected. Kai decided to play with the darts while Sehun just sat near the window and watch as the sun ready to set.

The sound of the wind chime caught their attention to the door as familiar faces started to show up. “Did you wait long boys?” Suho said rather corny as he approach Kai with open arms but was rejected by the younger who run towards his favorite hyung. “Kyungsoo hyung!” He shouted with glee as he approach the older earning a disappointed groan from Suho. “Hey there little boy.” Kyungsoo said ruffling Kai’s hair.”

“He’s not little anymore Soo, he’s taller than you now.” Baekhyun said with his unpopular diva tone. “When will you accept reality?”

 “Piss off Baek.” Kyungsoo said glaring at Baekhyun. “Woah, easy there piglet.” He said earning a light punch from Kyungsoo.

“Hey? I’m here.” Suho said wanted to be noticed by his friends who seems to be having fun all by themselves.

Sehun stood up seeing his hyungs having fun chatting with each other. He cleared his throat as a lump starting to form. He arrange his collar as well, wanting to look decent in front of them.

Kai laughed as Baekhyun and Kyungsoo exchange insult with each other. Kyungsoo will win no matter what since Baekhyun doesn’t have a chance even though he’s a diva. “Hyungs, stop that al-“ Kai widened his eyes as he remember Sehun is also there.

He turn his back to see Sehun, who is standing there and just watching them. “Oh dear.” He said. “Hyung.. .by the way.. .I’m with Sehun.” Kai said earning the attention of their friends that turned quiet when they saw their Maknae.

Sehun in the other hand felt shy and awkward. It’s been 2 years since he last saw his childhood friends, since only Kai has contact with them, he doesn’t have a clue how to react.

“Sehun! God, you looks so tall and handsome!” Baekhyun broke the awkwardness between them and walk towards the younger to give him one-manly-hug and a pat in the back, meanwhile the other did the same killing completely that unfamiliar atmosphere between them.

They talk a lot of things, like the good old days and Sehun never felt happy that he’s with his hyungs again. He is graduating from high school with Kai, and as he can see, he already by pass his hyungs height, but being with them made him realize that he is still the youngest in the group. He is still their ever handsome maknae.

“Come on. I still remember the times when we will all cheer up because Suho hyung meet the notes for the first time in history!!” They all laughed as Baekhyun made them remember how a trying hard singer Suho is.

“I still remember him singing while me and Sehun dance.” Kai continue while laughing his heart out.

“Maybe we could do that again!” Kyungsoo said not minding the pouting Suho who seems to be the target of the one and only king of Bully, Baekhyun.

“Yah! That’s a great idea!” Baekhyun quickly agree. “We could be insane and loud again-“ Baekhyun was cut off when Kai gave him a warning glare. “Ow, never mind. Please change the loud with fun.” He said trying to show his square shape smile but failed to do so as he look at Sehun’s blank expression.

“Hyung its ok.” He said leaning to the table. They all look at the maknae worriedly. “Is it really ok with you Sehun?” Suho asked, his mother instinct working again. “Of course.” Sehun said while smiling to ease his hyungs worry.

The awkward atmosphere from before reign again and Sehun wants to break it, but he doesn’t have a clue how to. This is so frustrating, why is he bringing this kind of silence when before’ that thing’ happened there is no second they’re not laughing and doing silly things. It’s his fault. He is the one who brought this kind of barrier between them.

“Oh I know!” Baekhyun successfully broke the silence again for the second time. Kyungsoo looked at him with his owl eyes. “What is it?” He asked.

“Luhan hyung and his friends wants to invite us to a goukon.”

(Goukon are drinking parties where men and women can meet, get drunk, and get to know each other.)

Kyungsoo gave Kai a look, telling him to react to it. Although they don’t want that message to be noticed by Sehun, he know what that look means. “T-that’s a great idea!” Kai said standing up while clapping his hands. “Maybe we can make Suho hyung get laid!” Kai jokingly said while pointing as Suho.

“W-what? Why me?” Suho said innocently. “Why do you need to bully me today of all the people?!” He protest. “Because you’re the hyung.” Baekhyun answered plainly. “Moving on.” He continued. “So are you guys in?”

“Of course I am.” Kai immediately respond. “So am I.” Kyungsoo added. “Do I have a choice?” Suho raised his hand.

All of them agreed to come to the goukon except for Sehun. They all look at the younger with different kind of expression.

Baekhyun with his awkward look.

Kyungsoo with his worried eyebrows.

Kai with his super protective gaze.

And Suho with his ever famous motherly karma.

There’s a question in Sehun’s head that keeps on bothering him these past few days since he met his childhood friends. A question that he never seems to understand. A question buried deep within his thoughts but can’t turn into words. A question that needs and immediate answer.

‘What am I doing?’

His cold sweat trail down his forehead to his neck. His pupils are quivering, hands are moving, head is shaking.

His body reacts as train of images show in his dream. So many image that made it more look like a movie.

Why is he seeing big crowds?

Why is he seeing dark places?

Why is there a heavy rain?

Why is there a white rose?

What is he doing, standing in the middle of the spot light holding a mic?

‘This is what I’m going to believe. This is my reality.’

A quote that he seems to remind himself over and over again without knowing why.

Does he really don’t know the answer? Or he is just denying it?

“Call me baby.. .ah-uh call me baby.. .” Sehun is awaken by his ringtone.

By the time he woke, he is catching his breath like he just ran a marathon. He look at his phone to see who’s caller. He saw that it is Kai. “Hello?” He said, his voice cracked. “Hello? Sehun? Are you alright?” Kai asked starting to get worried hearing his friend’s hoarse voice. “I’m.. .I’m alright.” He answered.

“You sure?”

“Yah. What is it?” Sehun asked.

“Well I kinda get worried. It’s already 5:30pm and you’re still not here in our meeting place.” Sehun immediately look at his wall clock. “Oh sh*” He cursed as he quickly jump off his bed. “I’ll be there in five minutes.” He said tossing his clothes aside to find a proper one suited for a goukon.

“Oh.. .Ok. Take care.”

“Bye.”
 

By the time Sehun arrived at the train station, all of his hyungs walk towards him to ask if anything happened. Here they are again, starting to worry for nothing, and it always made Sehun uncomfortable but he kinda understand why his hyungs acting that way.

‘They just want to protect me.’ He thought. ‘Protect? Protect from who?’

After the long trip from the train, at last they arrived at the place where the goukon will be held. All of them stepped their foot to the expensive floor of the club as their jaw drop from amazement, well except for Suho who seems to be used in this kind of places.

“This is where the goukon?” Kai asked looking around with awe. “I think we enter the wrong building.” Kyungsoo said ready to back down.

“Hold your horses right there!” Baekyun stopped the two. This is the exact place so no one will go anywhere.” He made clear as he lead the way.

Just a little walk and now they are in the middle of a loud crowd with body dancing with the beat, booming sounds and wild lights.

“Wow.” Is all Kai can say as he watches in awe to the great production of everything. “You sure we’re not lost?” Kyungsoo asked again. “This is heaven.” Beakhyun said.

While his hyungs having a hard time accepting the fact that this is actually the awesome place where the goukon will be held, Sehun is trying his hard not to tremble with fear as the loud music makes him not so comfortable.

Sehun closed his eyes and start muttering ‘It’s ok Sehun. Those are just sounds. Just sounds.’

“Sehun.” Sehun eyes opened as he felt Kai’s hand around his arms. “Let’s go.” He said guiding the younger to a much quieter place, and before he knows it he is sitting in a red sofa and a big room full of strangers that has a karaoke machine in the center.

Although the place smells like beer and the room is full of strangers, Sehun is still happy being away with those loud booming sounds.

“Sehun!” Sehun look around him to see where the voice is coming out. He saw Kai signaling him to come over. He stood up and said multiple excuse me and sorry’s to the ladies he stepped his foot in to.

“I made Sehun come along.” Kai said as he laying his arms around the younger’s shoulder.

Kris who saw Sehun smiled in amazement. “Wow bro. That’s  cool.” He said having a high five with Kai. Kris turn his attention to the maknae he last saw 2 years ago. “So how’s it been Sehun?” He asked sounding like a big brother. “I’m fine hyung. Thanks.” Sehun answered rather politely. “That’s great. I hope you enjoy the goukon.” Kris smiled. “I will try.”

“Hey!!” They all look at Kris’ back to see who’s the new comer. “Luhan.” Kris high fived with the latter. “Yow! The party isn’t starting yet?” He asked joining circle.

“Nah. Tao and Xiumin is still on the way. We are still waiting for Lay and Chen.” Kris answered. “Ouch. But ladies here is ready to party and mingle.” He said sounding like a playboy he is.

They giggle for the act of the oldest. Luhan looked around like he is searching for someone. “What?” Kris asked. “Where is Chanyeol? We invited him right?” He said earning a warning look from Kai and Kris. “Ooops. Gotta go.” Before Luhan went to the girls he patted Sehun’s back.

“I’m sorry Sehun.” Kai apologized. “It’s ok.”

When their awaited friends arrived they started the goukon. Sehun really didn’t bother looking at the young ladies, instead he divert his attention to his lemonade he wished a beer, but his hyungs insist that he is still a minor so no alcohol for now.

While looking at his lemonade Sehun heard that faint laugh again. He look at his surrounding to see where that laugh is coming from and his eyes laid on someone.

A girl that seems to be laughing with her friends and looks like leaving the goukon already that just started.

Sehun can’t take away his eyes from the latter. He quickly scan everything his eyes can see.

Her fair skin, petite body, calm brown eyes, beautiful black long hair, and a genuine smile. Everything about her made Sehun’s heart beat crazily with anticipation.

The girl suddenly turn her eyes from Sehun, they lock gaze. It is just a matter of second but to Sehun it felt forever. The young lad gave hima polite smile as she exited the room.

Sehun in the other hand felt the urge to follow the girl and so he did.

Sehun closed the door behind him and quickly search the corridor for a young lady, and there he saw what he is searching for still standing still like she is waiting for him.

“u-uhmmm..” Sehun doesn’t know why he followed the lad nor what words he need to say. “Hi?”

The girl turn her back to face Sehun. And by seeing the lady, Sehun almost jump with joy. He doesn’t know why but he felt attractive to the girl with just a blink of an eye. Like he knew the latter not a minute ago but in years. What a weird feeling. Sehun thought.

“Hi.” The latter answered giving Sehun a polite smile like she did back in the room.

“A-ahh.. .Are you going home?” He asked cursing himself for sounding like a chicken. “Yah. I still have piled up books to review.” She answered.

“I-Is that so. Are your exam getting near?”

‘What? For real Sehun? You met and attractive woman for the first time and you’re asking her about her exam? Stupid! Stupid!’

Sehun thought.

“Yes.”

“We’re the same.” Are words came naturally from Sehun’s lips. The girl smiled. “W-why? Did I said something funny?”

“No, It’s just that you don’t recognize me.”

Sehun was taken a back from what he just heard. ‘Recognize?’ Sehun searched deep down from the deepest of his memory if ever he bump to a beautiful girl like her but he remember nothing. That’s weird, he will definitely not forget if ever he saw a creature like this. So enchanting and charming.

“It’s ok if you don’t” The girl said a little disappointed and Sehun noticed it. “I’m sorry. But really, I want to know when I met you.”

The lad smiled at the sudden boldness of Sehun, but in the other hand Sehun blushed. “We’re schoolmates. I often see you at school.”

Hearing that they have the same school, Sehun thought that this is the best day of his life, knowing his crush noticed him and knowing that they are moving in the same world. Jackpot!

“That’s great.” He respond trying to hide is big smile, scared that he might creep out the latter.

“Do you need something from me? Because if not.. .I’m afraid I need to go.”

“Oh.. .Sorry. But.. .” Sehun rub his nape. “If.. .If it’s possible. Can I get your phone number?”

‘Screw you Oh Sehun.’ said Sehun to his self.

“Yah. Sure.”

Sehun thinks that maybe this is the luckiest day ever. Joining a goukon is not so bad at all, if you met someone charming as this lady in front of her. Sehun mentally pat his head for a job well done.

“Done.” She said after typing her number. “Good bye. See you at school.”

Sehun feels like he’s on cloud nine as he watch the latter’s back fade away from the crowd. He look at his phone and slap his cheeks for not asking the girl’s name.

“Sehun?” He look at his back. “Sehun!” He saw Kai wearing a weird face and seeing him in light he looks pale. But why?

Kai held Sehun’s shoulder and checked him from head to toe seeing if the younger is hurt or what. “Are you alright?” He asked.

“Y-yah.” He answered furrowing his eyebrows for the weird act of his best friend. He thought that maybe Kai drink an alcohol which their hyungs forbid them because they are still minors. “Please don’t walk out that way. Tell me if you want to go home ok?” He asked sounding like a mother.

“Ok.”

“Let’s go back inside.”

When the party ended, Kai and the rest of the gang accompany Sehun to his house. Although Sehun finds it weird for them to do that, he is not a girl, why are they acting that way on me? He thought, but still thankful for having such great friends.

But in the other hand. Sehun rushed to his room and lay down to his bed. He get his phone to his pocket to check the mysterious girl’s number.

He doesn’t know what her name is but he made a nickname. Moon. Since the latter remind him of that.

Sehun’s hands tremble as he type a message for the latter. He just hope that she’s still awake and reply to his text.

To: Moon

Hi there.. .I’m the guy in the goukon. I’m Sehun by the way. This is my number J

Send.. .

As Sehun click the send he jump off out of bed and cursed multiple times for sending a message that has smiley on it.

“So un manly!” He shout.

But still he was able to send a text, and now just a reply will do.

Sehun wait almost all night for the latter’s reply but it didn’t came. So much to his disappointment. Since then he didn’t send another message.

His bored weekend just come and go like that and hooray it’s class time again.

He quickly walk down to the stairs and kiss his mother goodbye. “Bye mom.”

“Wait dear.”

“What is it?”

“Did you take your meds?” She asked while packing the lunch of his father her guessed.

“Oh yah.”

“Good. Good luck with your school honey.”

“Bye mom!”

Sehun doesn’t want to lie to his mother but the meds that he is supposed to be taking are all thrown up in his trash can, it’s not like he intend to throw it, it’s just that, it is hard for him to concentrate when he is composing a song, so he stop taking it.

He needs to finish the song for three weeks or else he can’t sing a song in his gig in their acquaintance party.

When he arrived at school, Kai is already at the gate to accompany him.

Sehun wants to tell Kai about the girl in the goukon but there is something in him telling him to hide it from his friend, and so Sehun chose to keep his mouth shut.

His boring day in school starts again, and honestly Sehun always didn’t bother to listen in any of his professor’s lesson since he already know all of it. And when he says all of it, literally, all of it.

Sehun is a genius but he never bother to show it to any. For them Sehun is just a normal student with normal grades and a high popularity with girls.

Although he is popular with girls, Sehun never gave them a chance to dream in their fantasy. He doesn’t care about anything, well unless when his friends and music is involve.

Another boring day in class pass by. Sehun wants to curse for wasting a precious time again, what if he stop going to school and just focus in his songs? But no.

Sehun look at Kai who seems busy copying the other’s lecture since he didn’t catch up.

He can’t leave Kai alone in this school. So nope. He can’t ditch school.

“Sehun.” Kai approached him in a hurry tone. “What? Is there a problem?” He asked. “Well yah.. .can you walk home alone?” Kai asked sounding like a big hyung.

Sehun furrowed his eyebrow and smile at his friend’s over protectiveness. “Of course, what do you think of me?”

Kai rolled his eyes as he smile. “That’s better. I can’t walk with you home. Coach said we have practice today in the dance studio.”

“It’s alright. I can walk home.”

“Better.” Kai pats him in the shoulder. “I’m gonna message Aunty.”

“Oh no! Please just don’t Kai. Seriously?” Sehun said a little bit irritated. Kai in the other hand was surprised but let it go. “Ok. Go straight home kay?”

“I will. I will.” Sehun brush his hair with his hand. Kai exited the room. Sehun just stay in their empty room looking around and loving the place because no one is here except him. He love this kind of places.

Meanwhile, while he is in deep thought his phone vibrates. He quickly stood up and get his phone from his pocket. When he open his phone his face light up. “Moon? She replied.”

To: Sehun

Hi there. I’m sorry I reply late ^_^

Sehun smiled like a girl. “What a cute emoji.” He said still wearing that big smile.

To: Moon

Are you still here in school?

(Not too long Moon replied back.)

To: Sehun

Yes, I’m still here in our room. Do you want to come? J

When Sehun received the room number where Moon is, he quickly left his room and search for Moon’s.

Sehun crossed the other building and saw multiple girls exit a room from the last one in the left. He waited for the girls to fully leave the place before entering. He look around and saw Moon standing in the window while looking down in the field.

She looks so beautiful. Her hair dance along the afternoon wind, and his skin extra fair from the sun light.

Sehun doesn’t have a clue how to approach the lad that’s why he stepped back and bump the door gaining Moon’s attention.

“Sehun?”

By the call of his name, Sehun’s heart raced. She remember my name. He thought in glee. “H-hi.. .A… ah?” Sehun mentally puch his self for not asking what really the name of his crush.

“Selene.” Selene smiled and walk towards Sehun who is standing right there like a statue. “Selene?” Sehun repeat.

He smiled remembering the nick name he gave to the latter. It does suit her. Selene is the goddess of Moon. What a coincidence.

Sehun is having great days with Selene as Kai always stay late at their dance studio. Up until now Kai doesn’t have a clue who that Selene girl is, in fact Sehun never bother to introduce the girl. Kai is such a play boy and seriously talking, Sehun is afraid that maybe when Selene saw Kai she will fell in love to his friend rather than him.

So in order to avoid that kind of situation, Sehun chose to keep it a secret.

“This is so refreshing.” Selene said while looking in the orange sky.

They are both lying in the ground while taking a view of the orange sky which brought by the setting sun. They’re in the roof top which students are forbidden to go to, Sehun just didn’t expect that Selene actually as a key to it.

Sehun looked at Selene who’s eyes are currently close. He smiled as his eyes trail all the curves of the latter’s face. “The sky is so beautiful right?” He said not really looking at the sky. Selene just nodded.

He close his eyes and feel the warmness of the air. So relaxing just like Selene had said. When is the last time he felt at ease like this?

Selene suddenly stood up making Sehun wake from his meditation. “Selene?” He asked. “Come on Sehun!” The latter said while running close to the edge of the roof top.

One of the reason why students are forbidden from the roof top because they haven’t built up a barrier yet.

Sehun quickly stood up. “Selene, don’t go there. It’s dangerous.” He said walking slowly to catch up Selene who’s is now in the edge. “Selene?”

Selene stepped at the very edge where a wrong move can make her fall to an 8 story building. “Selene?” Sehun said full with worry.

Selene in the other hand didn’t care. She spread her arms like wings and closed her eyes while feeling everything there is to feel.

She opened her eyes and look back at Sehun. “Sehun. Come here.” She said reaching her hand to the young man. “Se-“ A powerful wind blow.

Selene slipped to the edge and was about to fall but Sehun quickly took her wrist and grabbed her back.

Her eyes was wide open and her heart is racing from what just happened. She find herself being tightly hugged by Sehun. “Sehun I’m-“

“Don’t.. .don’t do that again.” The boy said between the hug. “I’m sorry.” Selene let go of the hug and looked at the watery eyes of Sehun. She smile sadly and cupped his face. “Sehun. Don’t cry. See? I’m alright. I didn’t fall.” She said trying to relax Sehun.

“I’m not crying.” Sehun said. “Yes you are.” Selene hug the latter again. “I’m sorry.” Sehun answered the hug making Selene closer to his body more, feeling the latter’s warm-.. .Sehun’s eyes went open. She feels cold. He thought.

“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.” Selene said bringing Sehun back to their conversation.

Sehun stood up and turn his back. He clench his fist. “Sehun?”

“I don’t want to lose something important again.” He said. “Sehun.”

“Please. If I’m going to lose you too.. .I can’t.. .” Somehow Selene noticed that there is something in Sehun’s words. As if there is really something Sehun is afraid to lose but she can’t think of anything. So all that she did is to back hug the tall man.

Sehun in the other hand was shocked. “You won’t lose me.” Selene said burying her face to his back.

‘I won’t lose you again.’ Sehun thought. He held the cold trembling hands of Selene to his and change their position now he is facing the young lad. “I won’t lose you again.” He whispered.

When Sehun arrive at their house, he proceed to his study desk and see his notes full of his composition.

Some of it was composed by him and ‘her’. Sehun held the paper and held it tight until the paper broke. Sehun throw it away and put his hands to his hair. “Aaah!!” He shouted as he kneeled down his carpeted floor.

He throw every composed song ‘they’ did as he cry with great pain piercing his heart as familiar memories visit his head. Those memories should brought him happiness like before but now, knowing that she’s gone. Those memories only brought him pain and sorrow.

“Sehun?” Her mother suddenly barge in to his room and saw her son crying in pain. “Baby.” She said kneeling down and hugging his son. “Ssssh.. .It’s ok dear. Mom is here.” She said kissing her son’s forehead. “Mom.” Sehun said hugging her mom. “Why did she have to leave me?” Sehun asked her mom between his cry.

There are things that needs to go away. There are things that needs to evaporate. Can you understand those things?

This world will only give you heart ache. It is full of pain and sorrow, nothing but sad memories.

But what if you find someone who turn that dark world in to a paradise?

‘I love her. I love her with all I am. But why does she have to leave? Why does she have to die?’

Sehun is one of those people who became a victim of this cruel world. And he is already fed up.

He chose to live his own reality. He will believe everything his mind gives to him.

The sky is dark, the clouds is gray, the wind is cold as Sehun walked out their house. He look at the dark sky, he is amazed at how the sky projects the feelings in his heart. So glad the sky can express the emotion he can’t.

He take a stroll to the park and watch as happy families and couples take their precious time to spend with each other. Although the weather is dull, but not these people hearts who is full with warmness. Sehun envy them. So so much.

“Sehun?” Sehun look at his back and saw familiar faces. “Taka nii-chan?”

(Onii-chan or nii-chan means older brother)

“Sehun!” Taka went running to the child and gave him a hug like they didn’t see each other for decades when in fact it is just 2 years. “God you became so big you passed me!” He said ruffling the young’s hair. “Nice to see you again Nii-chan.” Sehun said.

“Wah!! Sehun-chan!!” Tomo who came late saw Sehun with Taka and did the same to the younger. “Tomo-nii.” Sehun said slowly lighting up as he saw Toru and Ryouta as well.

These people are his nii-chan, he used to sing with them but since the day she died he stopped hanging with them.

They decided to stop by a resto where they can talk with each other privately.

Taka told Sehun what their band is doing right now. Sehun is more than happy knowing that his Nii-chans is making progress to their band. They are now well known band in their local areas. Which a good start for an amateur band.

“How about you Sehun-chan? How’s your.. .ugh.” Tomo was cut off when Toru nudge him in the stomach. “How’s your school? I heard that you will be graduating in high school now.” Toru asked diverting Sehun’s attention to him.

“It’s.. .it’s fun.” He said.

“I want to hang out with Kai again and maybe he can teach me some cool moves.” Taka said while playing with his arms, swaying it like he’s performing some magic act. “And maybe if we can afford to have a concert I can dance for our fans.” He said looking at Toru.

Toru in the other hand slap his forehead with his big palm.

“By the way Aniki.” Sehun said looking at Toru. “Who is the other guitarist now?”

Back when Sehun is in the band with them. He is playing the supporting guitarist while Toru is the lead. But since he is not part of the band now. He gets curious who replaced him.

Ryouta looked at Toru. “Uhmmm.. .” Toru said scratching his head. “Hyung?” They all look at their back and saw Chanyeol holding a plastic bag full of coke in can. “Why did you left me in the park? I was looking for you guys every-“ Chanyeol stopped his protest when he saw Sehun sitting between Toru and Taka. “Sehun.” He said with an extra low voice.

“This is awkward.” Tomo said earning another nudge with Toru.

“a-AAhh!!” Taka stood up. “Why don’t we guys head out first? I remember that we need to go somewhere important.” He said while pushing Toru away from Sehun. “I’m sorry Sehun. I hope we can chat again in the near future.” Taka said while holding Sehun’s hand. “Of course Nii-chan.” He said avoiding his gaze from Chanyeol who is doing the same.

“Sehun.” Taka whisphered. “See you in the acquaintance party. I hope you’re done with your song.” He continue. “Remember your promise.”

Before the band exited the resto, Chanyeol looked at Sehun and gave him a look only the two of them can understand.

Kai left Sehun again in the room since their coach became more demanding for them to practice. He felt bad leaving his friend alone, he wants to be with Sehun as much as possible. To avoid for that thing to happen again.

He is really exhausted for their hard practice today. He lazily cross the empty when he heard the piano playing from the music room. “So the music club is still in here?” He said to himself ready to take the stairs but was stopped when he noticed that the song sounds familiar.

He look at the ceiling. “It couldn’t be.” He said rushing towards the music room where the sound is coming from.

“Sehun.” Became his mantra until he reached the empty room. “Sehun?” He said as he approach the latter who is currently sitting in front of the piano with still hands on the keyboard. “Kai? You’re early today.” Sehun said as he furrowed his eyebrows to the odd act of his friend.

In the other hand, Kai looked around the place like he is searching for someone. “Are you with someone?” He asked while catching his breath. “I am. Before. But she left.” Sehun said while standing up to get his bag. “It’s been so long since we went home together.” Sehun said looking at Kai who seems to be looking at every corner of the room. “Kai! Let’s go home.”

“Sehun? Is there a problem?” Selene asked while watching Sehun throw small rock in the river. “Nah.. .It’s just that.” Sehun stopped throwing.

“The people around me act so weird.”

“Why is that you think that way?”

Sehun lay down to the soft grass making his arm as a pillow. “They are so paranoid. They worry about me too much. It’s… .kinda.. .irritating.”

“Really? But I find it sweet. They do love you.”

Sehun pout. “But there is one thing I need to finish.” Selene did the same and lay down to the soft grass. “What is it?”

“The song I need to prepare in the acquaintance. I haven’t finished it yet.”

“But the acquaintance party is tomorrow.”

“Yah. I already know the melody but not the lyrics.”

That is one of Sehun’s weakness. He can’t compose a lyrics unless he is motivated. The song that he compose with ‘her’ was the lyrics of ‘her’ and not him. But she is already dead.

“Do you want me to help?” She asked standing up. Sehun looked at her and smile. “Really?” Selene smiled and offer her hands to Sehun. “Of course.” Sehun grabbed her hand and they both stood up.

Selene held both of Sehun’s hand. “Can you dance me young man?” Selene asked making Sehun laugh. “What? We don’t even have a music.” Selene pout and Sehun wants to pinch her nose so bad because of her adorableness.

“But this is for your song.” She insisted. Sehun laughed and did what Selene wants.

He placed his right to Selene’s waist, and his left, holding her right. “You’re so small.” Sehun said looking down and Selene.

She groan and rolled her eyes while pouting like a kid. “Can you step your feet to mine Princess Selene?” Sehun propose. “Are you sure? I might be heavy.” She joked. “Try me.” Sehun lean closely to Selene that made the latter blush. “Oh-ok.”

Selene slowly stepped her small feet to Sehun’s big ones. Once her foot was in stepped in Sehun’s, he protectively held Selene’s waist to balance her. “See? You’re not that heavy. Feels like no one is stepping in my feet.”

“Shut up and just dance me.” Selene demands that Sehun take command to.

They dance like there is really a song. They both laughed as they occasionally ruined their composure. Sehun’s heart was filled with joy and his stomach with butterflies.

Looking at the smiling face of Selene made him not worry for everything. It seems like every heart ache and sorrow he has on his hear fades away. Because of this girl in front of her, Sehun wants to live. Because of her smile, Sehun wants to write a song again. Everything about her, makes Sehun fall in love deep and dance in euphoria.

The place where Selene is, is where Sehun’s utopia was built. A place with no distress, a place with no judging eyes, a place where everything fall to its right place.

“Now Mr. Oh Sehun.” What do you want to write? Tell me.”

Selene look closer to Sehun as their forehead touch. “I want to hear you sing again.” She said.

The day that Sehun is waiting. The day he can offer a song for that special girl. At last. He can fulfill his promise 2 years ago, for a girl he deeply love, for that special girl who made his life colorful.

At last.

“Sehun! Kai is in here!” Her mom said from the kitchen. “Kay mom!” Sehun hid the notes to his bag and went downstairs to meet Kai who is wearing the same style tuxedo, but with a different color. He is wearing white while Kai is wearing Black.

“Wow. I look handsome am I?” Kai said earning a light punch from Sehun. “You are supposed to be saying I look handsome in my suit.”

“Yuck! What am I a girl? I’m not your loser.” Kai quickly stepped back like Sehun has some serious virus. “Mom! Kai is teasing me again!” Sehun said to his mom. “Continue it Kai! Go!” But her mother cheer for Sehun. “I love you aunty!” Kai said wearing a victorious smirk. “I.. .I’m his son? Am I not your son mom?” Sehun said. “You are dear! I love you as well.” Sehun rolled his eyes as Kai rolled to the carpet for too much laugher.

“Whatever. I’m gonna do something in the garage. Go for my room for a while.” Sehun said. “Kay.”

Kai did what his friend commanded him to. He slouched at the soft bed of Sehun and rolled down. He looked around and laugh for the nostalgic feeling he get seeing the posters and toys they used to make fun of when they are still little kids wearing for their mother to give them candy.

They had been together for God knows how long. They watch each other grow, watch each other take interest in everything, and watch each other break.

The thought of that day made Kai uneasy. He doesn’t want to see Sehun cry like that again, like he is the most pitiful being in the world. He wants to cure Sehun as much as possible, so the old Sehun he knows will come back to him.

Kai stood up and sit in Sehun’s study desk. He held a crumpled paper and opened it. It is one of their composed song, a song Sehun and that girl composed. “Why is it crumpled?” He asked himself.

Kai is ready to open the paper when he heard the front door opened and closed. “Maybe uncle arrived.” He said to himself. When he is about to place the paper back in the table it fall from Sehun’s trash bin.

“Ow sh*. Sehun will kill me.” He said finding the piece of paper.. .But he found something.

“What?” Kai throw the papers outside the bin to see what is those white circle are for? When he took a clear sight of it, Kai’s heart beat in fear. “This.. .this is his meds?” Kai turned the bin upside-down and held the white tablets in his hands. They are so many, how long Sehun had been skipping his meds?

Kai kneeled down and count the tablets in horror. He looked around the room like he is searching for something. He searched every corner in the room and every drawer he could open until he saw his friend’s school bag.

He opened it and scattered everything in the bed. A cellphone fell from the bag. “No.” Kai said. He held the phone and open it’s inbox. There he saw texts from 2 weeks ago. “No.. .no.”

Kai quickly went down the staircase up to the garage and saw Sehun wasn’t there. “Sehun? Sehun?” He said while looking for his friend. “No.. .it can’t be.”

Kai dialed Chanyeol’s cellphone number.

“Hello? Hyung?”

“Kai? Long time no-“

“Hyung.. .stop Sehun!”

“What?”

Sehun arrived at their school earlier than expected. He is cathing his breath as he look for a room that has lights on. He looked up and saw that the room from the 8^th floor is opened.

He quickly ran towards the room and by the time he reached the room the light are off but the light from the moon is enough to saw the white cocktail dress Selene is wearing.

“Selene?” He ran towards the lad. “Are you alright? What does that text mean?” He asked.

Selene held Sehun’s hand to his cold cheeks. “Sehun.” She said tears falling down from her eyes. “Selene. What’s happening?” He asked.

Selene looked at her with great pain, as if she’s telling Sehun that she doesn’t want to go. “Selene? Please talk.”

The door opened. Sehun looked at the door and saw Chanyeol chasing his breath. “Sehun. Thank God you’re here.”

Sehun looked at Selene who looked horrified seeing Chanyeol. He place Selene in his back while holding the latter’s cold hands. “Stay away hyung. Please.”

Chanyeol looked at Sehun’s back. “Sehun.. .Sehun calm down.” He said slowly approaching the younger. “No! Don’t come anycloser!” He said.

“Sehun.” Selene said sounding afraid by what’s happening. “Don’t worry Selene. I will protect you.”

“Sehun! Stop this!” Chanyeol said. “No! You’re the one who supposed to stop! I won’t let you get her again!” Sehun kicked the chair to Chanyeol making the latter fall in his back.

“Let’s go.” Sehun held Selene’s hand and was ready to run but Selene fell from the ground. “Selene!”

“Sehun!” Chanyeol pushed Sehun to the wall. “Selene!” Sehun said reaching his hands to Selene who is kneeled down to the ground. “Hyung stop this!” Sehun said struggling form Chanyeol’s strong grip. “Sehun please stop this already.” Chanyeol said, tears trying to come out from his big eyes.

“No! Selene!” Sehun still reached his hands to Selene and so as her. Their hands is about to reach each other when Chanyeol punched the wall just beside Sehun’s ear.

“SELENE IS DEAD!” Chanyeol said with a loud voice that bommed throughout the rooms. “Selene is dead Sehun.” He repeat as tears started to flow. “She is dead. She died two years ago.”

Sehun’s eyes widened and so as Selene. Her hands slowly backed down. “No.. .don’t Selene. Come on. Reach my hand.” Sehun said but Selene stood up and ran away.

Sehun looked at Chanyeol horrified. “Hyung. Selene is not dead. She’s just here seconds ago.” Sehun said with tears in his eyes.

“Sehun.. .” Chanyeol said looking pitiful to the younger. “Hyung. I’m with her for the past two weeks. Why are you lying to me?”

Chanyeol stepped back as more tears escaped his eyes. Watching Sehun like this again made his heart thorn into pieces.

Chanyeol wipe his tears and looked at the younger. “Sehun. You’re ill.. .”

Sehun’s mouth opened like a perfect ‘o’. What is his hyung talking about? He is ill? No he’s not.

Every memory he had on Selene for the past 2 weeks are all real.

Their first meeting. Their story telling. Their movie watching. Park strolling. Their dancing beside the river. All of it. All of it are real.

“NO!!!!!!!!” Sehun pushed Chanyeol away.

He placed his hand to his ears and kneeled down. “No!!! No!!!!” He shout.

“Sehun.” Chanyeol said.

Sehun remember everything.. .

From the star he knows that Selene is long gone.. .

But Selene is his girlfriend.. .Selene is his life. Selene is his everything.. .

How can he live without Selene?

Before Sehun met Selene, he felt emptiness while he compose his song. Surely his family loves him and so as his friends. But it is Selene who brought him great happiness no one compares.

Selene is the one who taught him how to love, how to appreciate things, how to see the world with colors and joy.

But Selene died.

And Sehun can’t accept that reality.

So he made his own.

A world where he can be with Selene. A world he can be with his beloved. “Sehun.” Chanyeol called him. He went near to the younger again and kneeled down to meet his face. He placed his large hand to his broad shoulder. “I know it is hard to accept. But Sehun, Selene is already gone.” Sehun’s eyes widened again as he heard the word gone. “Sehun. If Selene is alive. If he sees you act like this. Do you think she can be happy?”

Sehun placed his hands to the ground to support him. “I understand you Sehun. I know how painful it was to lose someone you love all your life. You know how I love Selene as well. I love her with all my life and sould.” Chanyeol placed his both hands to Sehun’s shoulder. “But we need to accept that she’s already gone. Sehun.. .Selene is gone.”

Sehun’s POV

I still remember the time I taste her sweet lips, I held her warm hands, and feel her warm embrace.

Everything is so good to be true. But Selene died. I was so angry at myself  I wasn’t able to protect her. That man who shot her. I can’t forgive him. He is Selene’s step Father.

He killed my love. He killed my life.

“Listen Sehun.. .” She looked at me with those brown orbs I always love. “The world is full of pain and sorrow. But those things.. .we need them.” I can’t understand what’s she’s talking about.

“You need to be lied to treasure the truth. You need to be hurt to feel the love. You need to be left so you can stay.” She smiled at me. “There’s still light in this world. You just have to search for it.”

No one’s POV

Sehun stepped to the stage. The crowd is waiting for him to sing again. Taka and his band supports him in the back. Sehun never missed the sight of his friends with his mom and dad beside the stage.

‘I will compose a 7^th song for you  Selene. And I will sing it in our acquaintance party in our last year in high school.’

That’s the promise Sehun said to Selene before she died. And now.. .he is going to fulfill it.

Taka started strumming the guitar as well as Toru.

(Play Notes’n’rods)

Sehun held the mic tightly as the spot light rest in his place.

I wanna dance like no one's watching me
I wanna love like it's the only thing I know
I wanna laugh from the bottom of my heart
I wanna sing like every single note and word it's all for you


Is this enough?


I wanna tell you and this is the only way I know
And hope one day you'll learn the words and say
That you finally see, what I see


Another song for you about your love
'cause you love the me that's full of faults
I wish you could see it from this view
'cause everything around you is a little bit brighter from your love

(read slower)

Sehun saw a familiar figure in the crowd. A girl wearing a cocktail dress, watching him with a tears in her eyes. She seems to glitter from the dark crowd.

Sehun notice that brown orbs. He knows that black long hair. That soft fair skin he can’t get sick of.

Sehun’s tears falls down as he keeps eye contact with Selene while he sings.

Every words that comes from his lips are all for Selene. She’s the reason Sehun felt the happiness and joy of being loved. She is the reason why Sehun felt like dancing without music. She is the reason that Sehun saw the light in this dark world.

He can’t imagine a life without her. He can’t think of a better way to live like the way she told him to do.

Another song for you about your love
'cause you love the me that's full of faults

(continue to listen to the song)
 

Sehun dropped his mic as he saw Selene walking away and slowly vanishing from his sight.

“Sehun.. .it’s time for you to wake up.”

Sehun slowly opened his eyes. “Good morning honey.” He received a kiss from the forehead. “Selene?”

“Yuph. Dinners ready.. .” Selene went out of the room as Sehun stood up from his bed and looked around the room. He look at his hands and saw a golden wedding ring.

He stood up in front of the mirror and cares his face with his hands when he felt a pair of hands surround his stomach. A back hug from Selene. “Baby. Come on.” Selene said.

Sehun looked at Selene’s hand and saw that there is also a wedding ring in her finger, the same as him.

Selene let go of Sehun and kissed him in his nape before exiting the room again.

Sehun touhed his kissed nape.

‘THIS IS MY REALITY. THIS IS WHAT I’M GOING TO BELIEVE’

END.. .

 

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thanks for reading my fic :) this is my first time posting here so it's fun doing this XD and please kinda leave a comment below of what you think of the story.. .thanks yorobun!! :D