The street we walked together

Now that I walk alone

Red fallen leaves already disappeared

And I shrug my shoulders in the winter sky

Like another day when it’s winter in Osaka, I will take time to walk around the city and enjoy the night view. No, WE would take time to walk around the city, together. I rub my hands together to warm it up and then I put them in my pocket. The winter sky is cold, but the loneliness sure colder than any winter sky.

I still remember how we spent the time together after sneakily parting with the other members. After dinner or after concerts we hold here in Osaka. It was a little happiness for me. Like that time, after we had dinner at one of sashimi restaurant here. Casually, you filled the space between my fingers with yours and put our laced fingers in your jacket.

“You like?” you muttered under your shawl.

I nodded.

I could feel you smile as you held my hands tighter. You lead me to walk to a park near the restaurant.

It’s cold but you make me warm inside. We sat on a bench at the park, did nothing but staring at the crowd. Still having my hand in your jacket, you proceed to make circles with your thumb. I felt my cheek blushed. Ah, how I enjoyed the silence between us. As it’s hard enough to put our feelings now in words, you preferred to take actions. I switch my gaze to you, long enough to make you realize that I was looking to you.

“What is that, Dae?” you asked without looking back at me?

“No. Nothing.” I looked faraway. “Do I need reasons to look at you?”

Your lips arched up.

“No, I am all yours,” you said.

Then the silence surrounded the air between us.

***

All people rush to their home

But I’m here nowhere to go

and my heart is about to freeze

I sit at the same bench, but now I am alone. Nothing to do because you’re not here beside me. I see couples linking their arms together, laughing. I am jealous. I want us doing the same thing –hugging, kissing, joking, laughing. I laugh off my loneliness by standing up, trying to go somewhere.

But I have nowhere to go. I don’t have anyone to be rushed off, anymore.

Tomorrow is my rest day and I would plan to do something with you. Yeah, I would, IF you are still with me. I then closed my eyes trying to found traces of you. Traces of you that I wish still in my mind.

The cold wind pass through my locked arms

I still go chase you, only you

Just like the falling snow

My love endlessly piles

I lock my arms, going anywhere my feet lead me. After all this time alone and pretending that I am okay with my loneliness, I could not throw away my memories with you. Wherever I go somewhere, somehow you left your traces. Like that takoyaki stand near the Kyocera Stadium, where you would sneak to buy some after crazy concerts. The park, the restaurants, your traces are everywhere.

How could I forget you?

My love for you just endlessly piles.

***                                                  

The smell of yours I loved              

and your laughter like a child

I can’t forget them so I count the loneliness

Your scent is a vague scent of tobacco and wine scent. You smelt good. Kind of smell that I want to inhale but don’t want to exhale, afraid that I will lost any memories of your scent. Deep baritone voice that gave me intoxicated everytime you spe