Everything turned dark as Ricky closed the door to his closet the moment he sat comfortably in it. He was in his school uniform and he brought his hands together praying to God that his mother won't find him in it. He closed his eyes and prayed. He heard the sound of his mother calling him to come out but he promised himself that he won't reply her. His heart beat faster when he heard his mother storming into his room angrily. She looked at his study table and his back was gone. He might have probably went but she didn't see him leave. She took out her phone and called Ricky. That moment, he realise, his phone wasn't on silent mode. He struggled to take it out from his pocket in the small sized closet. He never knew how much he has grew until he sat inside the closet. He used to fit comfortably in it but he seemed to have outgrew the closet. His phone was ringing. As he struggled trying to take out his phone, he lost his balance as the closet's door was unable to bear his weight when he leaned against it and fell on the floor. His eyes meet his mother's eyes. 

"Hi mom." He said and gave an awkward smile. 

"What were you doing in there?!" She asked. 

"I was, erm." He looked around. "I was looking for my handkerchief." He lied terribly.

"Yea, right." His mom walked away.

Ricky grabbed his mother's feet almost making her fell flat on the floor. 

"What the- what were you thinking?!" His mom scolded him. 

"Mom, can I not attend school today?" He looked at his mother with puppy eyes. He was still on the floor. 

"No excuse." His mom left his room. 

He sat on the floor and bear th pain of the beatings he got from the bullies on his body. They won't hit him on his face because it would be obvious so they usually assault him around his back and his stomach. They did all sorts of ugly stuffs. The only good thing is that, at least his bestfriend is there with him. Well, they're both bullied and they're both tired of it. He took his sandwhich and ate it as he went out of his house without saying goodbye to his mom because he was pissed. He knew his friend is waiting at the lobby downstairs. 

"What took you so long?" Chunji asked. "I thought you comitted suicide without me." He said. 

Although Chunji and Ricky are both intellegent kids, they're both depressed and are haunted by suicidal thoughts for being bullied everyday at school. Actually, they've both tried to commit suicide but they were too afraid to do so. They tried jumping down their school's building but ran away the moment they took a peek at how tall it could be. 

"I told you I won't do it alone. We'll do it together if we really want to." Ricky said. "It would be a headline in the newspaper. ' Bestfriends committed suicide together. Loyalty to death' or some sort." 

"Loyalty bull." Chunji laughed. "We're just afraid to die alone." Chunji looked around and realised he can't actually commit suicide. "I can't die yet. My mom is sick. She needs money for her medication." 

"Like living right now is giving her enough money. Our money has always been taken away from us at the school gate by those cool s." Ricky said. "Hey, here. Some pocket money my dad gave me. I get way too much money when I don't even use them. Use them to pay your mom's medication." 

"You give these money to me everyday. I can't take it man." Chunji refused Ricky's offer. 

"That means I really want to help you." Ricky took Chunji's hand and put the money in his palm. "Anyway, we only have each other."

When they got on the bus, their heart raced and they started to feel uneasy as usual. Because the moment they set foot in the school's gate, their torture starts. The bus stopped and they already saw the cool kids waiting at the gate. 

"Look at them waiting." Chunji said. "I hope I don't die today."

"I hate Niel. How is he the cool kid? When he was in elementary, he was a loser like us. Everyone called him 'big lips'. I don't get how in high school, everyone got into him and he joined the cool kids. With C.A.P and Changjo."  Ricky said as he looked over Chanhee at the bus' window. 

"Don't you know? He got so many girls with those lips. They said he's a good kisser." Chunji replied. 

"I can be a good kisser too. It's just playing with your tongue." 

"Have you been watching s lately?" Chunji asked. 

"Don't act like you don't." 

"I have been busy working part time jobs. I have no time for that." Chunji lied. "At night sometimes." They both laughed. 

The looked at the gate and they realised that the cool kids were gone. Without them knowing, the cool kids were next to them. C.A.P grabbed Ricky by the collar and pulled him down the bus. Niel and Changjo took away Chunji's bag and pushed him down the bus. He fell on the floor and his spectacles' frame broke into half. 

"." Chunji cursed. 

He wanted to pick his spectacles but before he reached it, Changjo stepped on it and shattering the glasses right in front of him. 

"What's the matter walrus? Too blind to see?" Changjo sneered. 

Niel put his arm around Chunji's neck and walked into the school. "Let's see how much you have today." 

Before the class started, they took Chunji and Ricky behind the school building and ransacked their stuffs. Before coming to school, Chunji bought his mom's medication beforehand so that the bully won't take away the money Ricky gave him. Chunji watched with tears as they took his money and beat up Ricky. Changjo sat on Chunji's back as he lied on the ground. It rained the night before so the field was wet and there was mud puddles everywhere. 

"I'm sorry for doing this really. I just wanted to sit down comfortably but it rained yesterday so the field is wet. You don't want my uniform to get dirty, don't you?" Changjo laughed as he smoked his cigarette. 

"Hehe no. That won't be good." Chunji faked a smile. 

"Don't blame us for doing this to you. It wasn't a part of the plan." Niel added. He was also sitting on Chunji. 

"Blame it on God." Changjo and Niel laughed like it was the funniest joke ever existed. 

"Dude, that was hilarious!" Niel laughed. 

They stopped laughing when they saw C.A.P getting mad cause Ricky lied he didn't have any money. C.A.P smeared Ricky's face with mud and kicked him away. Changjo left right after he put out his cigarette on Chunji's body and left him screaming in pain. Ricky and Chunji skipped the first class because they couldn't bear with the pain. Their pain from the days before were still fresh yet they still added new ones. 

"Was it painful? Getting kicked?" Chunji asked Ricky. 

"Like you've never felt it before. It has always been painful." Ricky said as he tried to clean his uniform."Did that hurt? He put out his cigarette on you." 

"I think it's gonna leave a mark on me." Chunji said. His cheeks were still damp by the tears he shed. 

They sat quitely and wondered about their luck. They wished they were dead. They don't even want it to be a dream. Even as a dream, it is painful. 

"I wanna die." Chunji said. 

"We tried that already." Ricky sighed. "I'm just afraid if they would hold us back after school. I heard they're staying at school to play spirits of the coins. I just hope they won't drag us in that. I don't play with satan." 

"Why would they summon satan when they're already one? It doesn't make sense." Chunji wiped away some blood stain on his face. 

Suddenly, Chunji came up with an idea from thinking about Satan. He looked at Ricky and smiled. 

"If we're not brave enough to die in order to stop all of this, we can just kill them." Chunji said. 

"What?" 

"If we can't die, we can kill!" Chunji smiled. "Look, they're gonna play all of these spirits of the coin, if we kill them tonight it would seem like it was their own mistake. Everyone knows you should not mess with these kind of devil things. They got their hands dirty into this, we're just finishing the devil's job." 

Chunji and Ricky managed to smile eventhough they're in pain. They knew they must have gone crazy but to them it's the only way. 

---

Chunji and Ricky skipped school for the first time in their life. They went to the farthest place from their school to buy raincoats, plastics gloves, some other plastics and even shower caps. They think if they're gonna kill them all and not get arrested they would have to do it cleanly and they should not buy anything suspicious like their raincoats and plastics in at least 2km radius from the 'crime scene'. As they bought everything, Ricky was suddely hesitating Chunji's decision. 

"Are you sure we're gonna do this?" He asked Chunji while Chunji packed the stuffs. 

"Do you have a choice?" Chunji asked. 

"Yeah, the choice is called bearing with the pain." Ricky said but he knew he wanted to go on with Chunji's plan too.

"By that time, we might already be dead." Chunji protested. "It's one way or another." 

They went back to school and as expected C.A.P, Changjo and Niel was looking all over the school for them. When Chunji and Ricky were walking down the halls, Changjo and Niel were running around singing out their names and playing jokes on girls. 

"Walrus and his ugly side kick." Changjo called. 

"We were looking all over for you." Niel laughed.

C.A.P approached them and took out a coin and handed it to Ricky. C.A.P smirked and laughed. "You need to be there. Someone might die tonight and I think it should be both of you."

Chunji faked a laugh trying so hard not to believe what C.A.P said. "What do you mean die haha?" He laughed awkwardly.

"Can we, not be there?" Ricky asked to br excused because he's afraid. 

"Say that again." Niel ordered. "Yah, if we tell you to do something, aren't you supposed to do it properly?!" 

"This won't do." Changjo sighed before he pull Chanhee's tie and took him to the toilet.

They chased other kids out of the toilet and pushed Chanhee and Ricky  to lie on the floor. C.A.P looked over every toilet cubes to look at any feaces left without being flushed. He found one and he laughed.

"Yah, Changjo go and get the mop. This would really be fun." C.A.P laughed.

Changjo handed the mop and took a look at the toilet bowl before laughing so loudly. "Hey, Niel look at this ! This would be really funny." Changjo went to watched over Chunji and Ricky instead of Niel. 

"Yah! This is the real ! Literally." Niel laughed. He took the mop and put it inside the bowl a few times. He handed C.A.P the mop and C.A.P took it out. All of them screamed when they saw the water from the bowl mixed with the feaces dripping down. 

"Niel! get it recorded man! Take pictures too!" C.A.P shouted. 

"HAHAHAHHA! it's disgusting!" Changjo laughed as he got his camera ready to take pictures when Niel was recording. 

"No! Please NO!! PLEASE WE'RE BEGGING." Chunji and Ricky cried for mercy. 

" no." Niel laughed. 

C.A.P procceeded mopping Chunji and Ricky's face with the mop as they both cried and shouted terribly on the floor. It went on for abour a minute before someone threw a rock towards the mirror in the toilet to scare them. 

"! Who the was that!?" Niel got pissed. 

"HEY! DON'T ING RUN AWAY!" Changjo shouted before 3 of them ran out the toilet to chase the person who did it leaving Ricky and Chunji crying helplessly on the floor. 

Chunji stood up and wiped the feaces stain on his face and used his uniform to dry his face. He wasn't even sure whether he was wiping his tears away or he was wiping the water from the toilet bowl. He was bawling loudly and he stopped wiping them as it was useless, he already smelled bad and he was too frustrated with his life. He felt like dying. His position in life was worst than a dog. 

Ricky went into the toilet cubicle the moment they left. He cried so loudly and was shouting out 'I wanna die' for a few times. He was so frustrated that he pulled his hair so badly and cried. Ricky was self harming himself in frustration. He wanted to calm down but Chunji's cries was as desperate as his making him unable to stop. He sat on the floor and wiped his face with his sleeves. He came out from the cubicle and recalled Chunji's plan that he was so afraid to carry on. He looked at the mirror and look at how miserable they both look, he stopped crying and made a deadly gaze towards himself in the mirror. 

"Let's kill them, tonight." Ricky said coldly.

Of course they didn't go for any classes that day because they smell like . Literally their face were smeared by a mop that was soaked wet inside a toilet bowl that hasn't been flushed yet. Chunji and Ricky went to their locker and took their gym outfit and cleaned themselves in the toilet.

---

That night, Chunji and Ricky was ordered to buy food for them. Ricky however, had a good idea of putting something into their drinks. Chunji was shocked to see how he has it with him. 

"Whoah whoah. What the hell are you putting into their drinks?" Chunji asked. 

"It's a medicine but, we need to put in a lot of it." Ricky answered. 

Chunji read the medicine's bottle. "Amphetamine?" He asked. "Aren't these for narcolepsy, ADHD? Where did you get these?" 

"Yeah. My mom has been taking this medicine eversince my dad was caught cheating on her and still is. I don't even know if she got doctor's prescription." 

"Okay but I meant why do you have it in your hand?" Chunji asked again.

"I don't know. In case we wanted to commit suicide together out of nowhere. I have it as an emergency." Ricky laughed as he opens the capsules and put the drugs into the drinks. 

"I heard they could give you hallucinations." Chunji bit his lips and watched Ricky stirring the drinks to make sure it dissolves properly. "I read it from the medical journal at the public library." Chunji and Ricky enjoys reading and studying. That's the only thing that made them feel at least responsible to live for the future. Plus the fact that they love ography too.

"That's the point." Ricky said. "They're playing spirits of the coins and they can be paranoid about it. We don't have to do the dirty work. They do it on their own." 

"Oooh, I thought you were afraid of doing this just now." Chunji laughed.

"Yea, until they smeared on us." 

They went to the school again and went to the classroom C.A.P, Niel and Changjo waited for their food. 

"What took you so long?" Changjo asked. Ricky opened the bottle's cap for him and handed it so that he won't know they've opened it beforehand. Chunji did the same for Niel and C.A.P. They started the game and instructed Chunji and Ricky to keep an eye on what's happening outside the classroom. In case the guards or teachers walks around the corridor. While they waited outside, They put on their raincoat, tied plastics at their shoes, put on the showercap and wore hand gloves. 

They peeked at the 3 of them starting to get scared from playing the spirits of the coins. They've summoned the 'spirits' and Changjo, the first to drink the water just now fell off his chair and started screaming hysterically. Niel and C.A.P panicked and tried to help but Changjo kept pushing them away and was screaming. 

"ing summoned the devils. You guys are already one." Chunji said as he took a vase at the locker in front of him.

"!" Changjo screamed. "Stay away from me! What do you want from me!?" Changjo screamed and kicked Niel away. 

"What the was that for!? this." Niel cursed in pain.

"Calm down man!" C.A.P yelled. 

"Don't touch me!!" Changjo pushed C.A.P to the edge of the room and strangled him with his tie. "You're ing scary. Don't come to me!!"

Niel was standing next to the teacher's desk and watched Changjo strangling C.A.P mercilessly. Niel decided he should try and stop Changjo. He grabbed a chair nearby and hit Changjo's head with it. Niel was suddenly so terrified and his hands were trembling as he watched Changjo's blood flooding the classroom. Niel started seing hallucinations from inside the class. He ran outside and saw Ricky and Chunji but he saw them dead. Just the way he smeared their face with feaces earlier that day. He ran away shouting. Ricky chased Niel as fast as he could. Finally when Niel reached the stairs, Ricky pushed him down. 

Chunji entered the classroom and looked at C.A.P who began to get hallucinations from Changjo's dead body. Chunji grabbed a broken sharp part of the chair that Niel killed Changjo with.

"You told me, cool kids can't die." Chunji said looking so angry. "But we can ing kill you." Chunji walked towards C.A.P. C.A.P could only crawl away from Chunji in fear. He sees Chunji as a ghost that was after him for playing with the spirits of the coin. 

"Don't ing come near me" C.A.P cried. 

"How does it feel to cry for mercy from me?" Chunji asked. 

"It's feels ing terrible. Please spare me!" C.A.P crawled until he leaned towards the classroom's wall. He realised there was a window on top of him. The only way 'out' for him. He pushed Chunji away from him before he jumped off the window of the 5th floor. Chunji looked out the window and smiled looking at C.A.P catching his last breath.

"Chunji!! Niel is not dead yet!" Ricky cried in fear. 

Chunji grabbed the sharp object and ran to the stairs. He saw Niel trying to crawl down the stairs. Apparently he was unable to get up because he broke some bones from the hard fall. He looked up and saw Chunji coming down the stairs slowly. He tried to be faster but Chunji was already behind him. 

"Why me?" Niel cried. "It wasn't my fault! It was not my idea." Niel's tears were falling down with the blood from the injury he got from the fall.

"Blame it on God. Like you said." Chunji looked cold. 

"I'm sorry." Niel was begging for his life to be spared.

"Apology not accepted." Chunji thought about how sharp objects would leave marks on Niel if he kill him on his own. So he lifted Niel's legs and pushed him down another flight of stairs before Niel died infront of him. 

Chunji never knew how satisfying he felt watching them die infront of him. Ricky joined him and watched at Niel's body. 

"We need to go and get the bottles again. Flush them down and make sure we don't even leave a drop of the water we bought." Chunji instructed. 

They took off the raincoats and plastics on them and put it inside their bag and dreamed of a perfect crime. Before calling the police, Chunji and Ricky hid themselves inside the toilet cubicles.

"Hello? Please come to Seungjin High School please. I don't know what happened, they started fighting and it was terrifying. They suddenly stopped making so much noise. My friends and I are in the toilet cubicle. We're afraid." Chunji faked his plead and cries while calling the police.

The police came and immidiately came to them in the toilets. 

"Are you boys safe?" The female police woman asked. "Have you both been here all along?" 

"Yes." Chunji and Ricky came out.

The police looked at them but they're still the number one suspects. They were interrogated and their alibi was perfect. They just happened to be boys who were bullied by the dead kids been told to look over the door. They told the police that they started hiding inside the toilet cubicle once they heard them fighting. However all of their stories were invalid. 

"What do you mean you think we're lying?" Chunji asked the police woman. 

"We have a witness." The police woman said. 

"Who was there that night." Chunji whispered to himself. He started freaking out. 

Before they knew it, Chunji and Ricky was in trial charged for the murder of Bang Minsu, Choi Jonghyun and Ahn Daniel. It was the first time they heard the bullies' real name. They were in the court and they can't wait to see who was the guy who was there that night. Apparently it was another kid who was also bullied by C.A.P, Niel and Changjo. He's known for being really weak. 

"It's Lee Byunghun." Chunji looked pissed and Ricky cried.

"Before I tell what happened, I want everyone present to understand that, Bang Minsu, Choi Jonghyun and Ahn Daniel were big bullies. I am very sad to say this in front of their parents present but finally, you should know what your kids have been doing. I was a victim and so were they." Byunghun pointed towards Chunji and Ricky. "On the day of the murder, Chunji and Ricky were beat up behind the school building that morning. Later after lunch, 3 of them smeared feaces from a mop that was soaked into the toilet bowl. I distracted them to stop them from smearing the feaces on Ricky and Chunji longer. So, I threw a rock towards the mirror and they chased after me. That night, I stayed back because, honestly, if it wasn't them, I would be the one to kill those 3." Byunghun confessed and had the court surprised.

"If you knew what we went through you shouldn't have confessed!" Chunji yelled. 

"Silence in my court room!" The judge ordered. 

"I only saw Chunji pushing Niel down the staircase when he was crawling down. I don't know how the other 2 died." Byunghun confessed. 

"Why did you tell?" Ricky cried realising how his future collapsed. 

"If it were a good thing to do, you would have felt good by now. So, what's your feeling?" Byunghun asked and cried. "I wanted them dead more tahn anyone else too. A part of me told me that those bullies deserved it." Byunghun looked at Chunji and Ricky and felt wrong.Chunji and Ricky confessed that they drugged C.A.P, Changjo and Niel with amphetamines for hallucinations. They confessed that the one who killed Changjo was Niel as witnessed and C.A.P jumped out of the window for having hallucinations from the drug they used. Chunji and Ricky admitted that they pushed Niel down the stairs themselves. 

Chunji and Ricky was lucky to be given leniency especially after their medical results proved both of them were mentally ill. Their charges were dropped by C.A.P, Niel and Changjo's parents after learning what their son have been doing. Although they were sad, and couldn't accept the fact that their kids were murdered, if they were all still alive, they would have killed Chunji and Ricky. Hearing their pain, they felt sinful and wronged for not paying attention to their kids and for their wrong doings. Their suicidal thoughts actually helped them. It was the first time Ricky's parents' knew of his struggles. They have always seen it as a small matter than Ricky overreacts for and Chunji felt terrible for giving troubles to his mother for getting into the crime.

Their lawyer, Raven Lee represented them helped them a lot. Instead of Ricky and Chunji owned a favour towards her, she felt thankful towards them.Ricky's and Chunji's lawyer visited them for a few times during the trials. To her, both of them were a significant case. They opened her mind towards bullying. She happened to be interrogating Chunji and Ricky and they gave her a reasonable answer to what they did. 

"Why did you end up doing it?" Raven asked.

"We just wanted it to stop." Ricky said. "And that was the only way."

"There are other ways. You could have reported it to the teachers, your parents or the police." Raven explained. "It didn't have to be murder. I looked up at your academic and asked your teachers, you're both great students and really decent. Why did you have to go through this?"

"You think we didn't try it all? We did everything. Reported to the teachers and they told us 'It's normal when we're growing up.' We told our parents and our parents think it was our fault for being socially impaired towards the bullies. We told the police and they told us 'we have more important cases to deal with.' So what options do we have?" Tears were running down Ricky's cheeks as he confessed. "We just wanted to put an end to it."

"Our bodies were fulled with cigarette's bud scar. When they wanted to put of their cigarettes, they did it on our body, we get beaten up for nothing. My mom is sick! I worked multiple part time jobs just to support her medically but do you know where those money goes to? The money to ensure my mom would at least see me graduate high school if she could live longer? To the bullies. Even when I told them it was for my mom they couldn't care less." Chunji cried thinking of his mother. "When the field was wet, they sat on is instead of getting their uniforms dirty. They have never seen us as humans anyway. Do you know what Niel said before he died? He said it wasn't his fault." 

Raven remembered being speechless after hearing their confession.

"Lawyer-nim, I want to ask you one thing. Was it our fault to be bullied? Did we asked them for it? If according to Niel, it wasn't his fault, whose fault was it?" Chunji asked.

"There could be more options." Raven was lost for words. No more stances or any idea to reason it out.

"Do we have to blame it on God instead?" Ricky cried. "We tried dying before. We actually had to promise that we would commit suicide together. Everyday, might be our last day. I have to carry around the amphetamin around me because, I never know when I would reach my limit and decide to get overdosed and leave everything behind. Dying has always been our last choice. If you were in our shoes, how would you want to stop it? You, dying or them? We're only 18. There's so many things for us to see but we're stuck here in pain."

"We didn't want to do it either. We just wanted to live without wanting to die tomorrow. Everyday was just like living to die tomorrow." Chunji wiped his tears and looked away. "If you're going to defend us and end up getting us in jail, just another door to a whole new level of getting bullied, please fight for our death sentence instead. We're tired of living." 

Raven realise how desperate they were. She knew killing was wrong. It was evil but, Ricky and Chunji could have had better options instead of killing them if only adults think and consider bullying aren't just some bad day they have to go through. For Ricky and Chunji or maybe more kids out there, it was everyday. Everyday, the burden to live gets heavier. Everyday, the depression grew. Depression that feeds on their pain and sorrows. If only there were a helping hand for them.

She visitted them in the hospital 2 weeks later to check on them. 

"How are you?" Raven asked.

"Why do you still come here? The case was settled." Chunji said. 

Raven saw Chunji's hands and she held it quickly before he hides it under the table. "You have been cutting yourself again. I thought we went through this already." 

Ricky was unable to meet her because he attempted suicide and was still unconcious. He's in a stable condition but it happened a week after the trial ended. 

"I, had to." Chunji said. "I'm sorry."

"So how was the treatment?" Raven asked. 

"It was okay. I guess. I made friends but, they're all crazy. Not that I don't admit but I am too." Chunji said. "Everything they said are, weird." 

Raven laughed. "Hey, it's okay to be a little crazy. I talked to your doctor. He said you guys can be discharged in another 2 months. Only IF you guys don't skip your sessions and also if you guys stop cutting yourself." 

"You haven't answer my question. Why do you still come here?" 

"I see a lot of potential in you guys and I hope you guys can prove me right." She smiled. 

"Look at where we are now. A mad house. We're nothing but crazy kids who killed 3 guys." Chunji felt terrible. "What Byunghun said was right. If it was the right thing to do, I would have felt better but nothing change." 

"Hey, look at me." Raven said. "It doesn't matter what you did. It happened. There, it's done. What matter is who you are now and how you're gonna make your future better. You told me in one of those interrogation that you like studying because at least it made you feel like you're responsible for the future. You're a big deal for the future when you study. So be it." Raven smiled and handed out some books for Chunji and Ricky. 

Chunji smiled and accepted the book. 

 

=============================================

 

Moral of the story: Stop being a bully, stop bullying.

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p/s: These characters have nothing to do with TEEN TOP's real life personalities or any episodes of them. Everything is fictional~ Thank you~ ♥