“A tall, tall wall looms in front of me, what’s on the other side? What’s the view from the top?” I didn’t think that this quote would apply to me at all when I first heard it. It’s a quote from an anime I watched a couple of weeks ago, so I thought I wouldn’t find any connections, as it’s about volleyball. But I did, anyone can really compare any of their life problems to the wall, or in my case, multiple walls. I managed to breaks down one wall, that was coming out as gay, but the view on the other side was definitely not pretty. It was full of other walls, walls that seemed impossible to break down. Things like getting over my ex, Sehun, or doing something about the constant bullying I sit through nearly every day.

“Luhan!” My friends Jungkook and BamBam yelled in sync, creepy.

“We’ve got to go to class or we’ll be late, “BamBam exclaimed, desperately tugging on my arm.

“You seriously have to stop spacing out like that, it’d be really creepy to anyone other than BamBam and me…” Jungkook went rambling on for about eight minutes as we walked to class, BamBam and I both tuning him out after a bit.

“S-sorry,” I said after a while of him talking.

“It’s okay Lu” he exclaimed, wrapping an arm around me dramatically, “I could never stay mad at you, I mean, with all the you go through…” he started rambling again, so BamBam and I tuned him out…again.

This was a common cycle between the three of us. The thing was, Jungkook was the maknae between us, also meaning he had the most energy. He was the sole reason I still lived by the phrase ‘the taller they are, the dumber.’ Jungkook was about 5’8”, sixteen, hyperactive, and dating a boy named Taehyung. BamBam on the other hand, was only 5’5”, his birth name was Kunpimook Bhuwakul, he was dating a boy named Mark, who, like me, was from China, BamBam was also sixteen, and straight up adorable.

All three of us were second years, I was a year older than both of them. We’ve stuck together since we were first years, we were always the easy targets for homophobes. There were more gay students in the school than just us, but they saw us as easy to get to since we were so timid, Chanyeol, Yixing, weren’t the smartest people ever. They found bullying us as a group to be too much work, so we just stuck together.

It wasn’t like any of us had anyone better to talk to, we all had people to avoid at all costs. I didn’t know about Jungkook and BamBam’s, they didn’t want to talk about it, and I respected that. For me that person was Oh Sehun. But, he was extremely hard to avoid. The problem was, he was my ex, and you would think that would make him back off, but it was the opposite. He wanted me too much, that’s why I broke it off. He had tried to me. I told him over and over again to stop, but he wouldn’t, so when I finally got away from him, I broke it off. But apparently, Sehun wasn’t giving up. He’d follow me, harass me, and still address me as his boyfriend. I hated it but I couldn’t escape it. I didn’t know what it would take to get him to stop, I just knew it wouldn’t happen any time soon. I noticed I hadn’t seen him around at all that morning and was praying that he had decided to leave me alone today. But, of course I spoke too soon.

I felt an arm wrap around my waist and I instantly knew who it was. I knew it was too good to be true when I hadn’t seen him earlier. I instantly froze, BamBam and Jungkook following close behind. I felt my ears and face going red as he kissed my neck lightly. When he would do this before, the flush was from embarrassment, but by then, it was out of anger.

“What the hell do you want?” I questioned angrily, forcing myself out of his embrace. I hated it, I hated how it was a daily event and finally decided to stop just letting it happen.

“Huh? Is a guy not allowed to hug his boyfriend?” Sehun asked, a genuine look of confusion written on his face. Pathetic.

“No, you’re not, because I’m not your boyfriend anymore,” I paid close attention to saying the last part as slow as possible, trying to get the memo through his thick skull, “I broke it off weeks ago, but that seems a little too difficult for you to understand.” I was fuming, Jungkook and BamBam standing beside me, frozen in shock.

“Alright, if you’re going to be like that, I guess you wouldn’t mind me getting with this one,” Sehun shot back, smirking as he grabbed Jungkook by the arm, pulling him into his side before wrapping an arm around his waist.

Jungkook flushed a deep crimson color, visibly shaking under Sehun’s tight hold. It was at this point that I was furious. Jungkook was innocent, a little too innocent for his own good. He and Taehyung had yet to go beyond light cuddling, hand holding, and kissing. It's because Jungkook was scared, he was terrified, because Taehyung had been his first love and he didn't want to mess it up, and that was something Taehyung respected.

But now, Jungkook looked to be on the verge of a panic attack. I could tell just from his face what he was thinking. I could tell that he was worried that Taehyung would see him and assume he was cheating. His eyes were frantically searching the halls for his overprotective boyfriend.

“Yes, I would mind,” Sehun opened his mouth to reply, probably something along the lines of 'see? You're jealous!', But I cut him off abruptly before he could begin, “because Jungkook has a boyfriend, unlike you.”

“Oh really? And who would the winner who gets to date this pretty thing be?” Sehun asked, disbelief written all over his features, having seen how flustered Jungkook got just from light touches.

“Kim Taehyung,” I replied confidently, a flash of regret and panic instantly showing on his face. His grip on immediately loosened, so Jungkook used that as an opportunity to rush out of his embrace, instantly hiding behind BamBam, which, overall looked a little ridiculous with their three inch height difference, “and if and when he finds out, he'll make sure to knock out at least one of your teeth.”

I heard a small, timid “Luhan, stop,” from Jungkook, but kept on it, eyes locked dead onto Sehun's.

“Tsk... whatever you say, sweetheart,” Sehun retorted, faking smugness as he walked away, trying to fake bravery. Right then and there I wanted to run up to him and punch him square in the jaw.

I knew I was shy, and everyone knew that, but when it came to my friends and people messing with them, I wasn't gonna hold back. He's a wall I wish would just collapse in on itself. But, I'm not that lucky.

We began walking again when I noticed Jungkook was quiet, other than his fast, labored breathing, with tear filled eyes. He had been holding back a minor panic attack since this whole thing started. Whereas BamBam had stood aside, probably trying not to get caught up in anything.

“Just let it out, Kookie,” I said to him as we stopped outside the classroom, preparing for a storm of complaining, cursing, stressing, and crying.

“He's gonna hate me, he's gonna hate me so much. He's definitely gonna break up with me, there's no way he'll stay with me... w-what if-” Jungkook was full on freaking out, I had seen him upset and stressed, but this was bad. He was a crying, shaking, blubbering mess.

Taehyung had walked up behind him, right as he started sobbing. The thing about Taehyung is, he's famous around school for just how protective he really is. Three suspensions, two guys with multiple missing teeth, and one guy with a black eye for a week in just one year was definitely not nothing.

“Care to tell me why you're so upset, darling?” Taehyung wrapping his arms around Jungkook from behind.

“H-hyung!” Jungkook exclaimed as he turned around to face his orange haired boyfriend, nearly knocking their heads together. He looked terrified, and I felt bad, but I knew in the end, everything would be fine between them.

So, me and BamBam walked into the classroom, immediately taking his seat next to Mark and intertwining their fingers. After seeing Mark and BamBam together, I almost missed what me and Sehun used to have together. Emphasis on the word almost.

As Jungkook walked in, there were several wolf whistles, from multiple different guys. Jungkook was our grade's pretty boy, the boy who could make any straight guy go gay, even how he looked right now, with blotchy eyes, smudged eyeliner, and disheveled hair. Behind all of this, he looked generally happy as he sat down next to me, blush covering his cheeks for what felt like the seventh time today from all the wolf whistling he received. At least I knew things were okay between him and Taehyung.

I noticed a new student standing at the front of the room as our teacher rushed in and introduced him. His name was Kim Jongin, he was my age and he had moved to Seoul from a small village on the outskirts of the city.

Kim Jongin, huh? I had hoped that this would be a boy that wouldn't take much notice to me, and if he did, wouldn't create any more problems. The last thing I need right now is more walls to break down. Turns out, I'm just not that lucky.