"I uhm... I-I just..."

"What's the matter? Can't t-t-t-talk properly?" The ringleader of the group sneered, laughing as everyone else did around her, other students imitating her as they mocked the cornered student.

Minho held tight to his journal, knowing it was the fuel that had caused this torment. He knew he should have left it at home, should have played it safe. Because anything his snooping brother could have said would have been less hurtful than the ridicule he was bound to receive for months more to come.

He supposed it was stupid to consider that his fellow students, who already saw fit to isolate him – why, he didn’t know – wouldn’t want to snoop in his things to find another weak spot. Another angle they could prod him from. They’d never attacked him so publically before though. It was usually small remarks, comments made at him from across hallways or whispered in class when the teacher wasn’t paying attention. But that day their teacher hadn’t shown up and while everyone else had fallen into conversation with one another, Minho had pulled his journal from his bag and continued writing an entry he’d begun earlier that day.

That was when they’d begun reading over his shoulder.

If it had been anything else he may not have been so bothered by it, but now they knew he liked boys. Or, rather, even worse, that he liked one particular boy. The one who was sitting at the other side of the classroom, watching like everyone else. Like most of the other students who weren’t involved, he had an expression of concern, but indecision. As if he wanted to step in and stop it all, but knew he couldn’t. Minho did vaguely hear a girl make a comment about leaving him be, but she was ignored, just like the tears beginning to fall down Minho’s cheeks.

At least, the only saving grace, they hadn’t mentioned the name of the boy they had seen in his journal. So who he had a crush on wasn’t aware it was them.

Minho glanced up to Taemin, just for a brief moment. Why, he did he wasn’t sure – perhaps he was hoping the person he liked would find it in himself to walk over and help, or maybe he thought that seeing his crush might give him a little more confidence. Whatever it was, it didn’t help him, because his journal was wrenched from his grip by the girl, the one who seemed to run the whole “let’s make sure Minho is miserable for all eternity” brigade. He reached uselessly for it, even his height no match for the three boys from his grade who held his arms down enough that he couldn’t snatch it back. “Please, give it back.” He whimpered softly, pleading uselessly as the girl flipped through the pages, some heavy with papers or stickers pasted on, one page had little tufts of hair from his parents, his brother and himself, a memento of sorts. There were pages of idols he admired and lyrics he’d written down to read over and remember for the future. Every piece of his heart was in the journal this girl now held in her hands. It was literally as if she held his heart in her hands and his worst fear at that point was that she would crush him.

“You certainly don’t go half way, do you, Minho?” She mocked, snickering as she ran a finger down one page, manicured nail scraping the paper. “You don’t miss out on any details. Every little thought. Every little… fantasy.”

Minho pushed against the boys holding him back, their snickers filling his ears as well. “Please.” He whispered, his voice barely making a sound.

The girl just chuckled, too triumphant as she began to read out the words. “I’m not so stupid to think that anything could ever happen. It’s not like I’m a girl or he’s a girl. We’re both guys and even if he did feel the same way we would never be accepted. Well, I’m sure my parents might be okay with it? I can never tell them though, even if they said it was okay I’d still be a failure to them.” She paused to ‘aww’ at the words, gaining laughter from those who followed her lead. “It’s so unfair. Why did I have to like a guy? Why can’t I be like other guys who think about girls all day? I’d rather be like them. I hate who I am.” Laughing, the girl looked at Minho. “Don’t worry. You’re not the only one who hates who you are.” She spat.

His bottom lip trembling, Minho fell to his knees, defeated.

“Ooooh, what is this?” The girl asked after turning a few pages. “This one is dated from today~!” She explained, all too pleased with the find. “I want to write a letter to you.”

Minho’s gaze snapped up, his heart freezing in dread. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t? Would she? “No!” He cried.

“To the one who I like. The person who helps me feel a million times better with just a smile – even if you aren’t smiling at me. To the person who is selfless and confident and friendly and kind and who makes me want to be a better person, to be a better man. The person who, without knowing it, has saved my life many times over. I want to tell you that I love you and that will never change. To Taemin, I’m sorry.”

With his head hanging, Minho brought his hands to his face, sobbing into his palms, the class beginning to rumble with curiosity, Taemin’s name being repeated like an echo. It was over now, he’d never be able to look at Taemin again, out of fear of knowing how Taemin would look with an expression of disgust on his face.

“And now to the person who…” To Minho’s surprise, the girl stopped, and there was a murmur across the classroom before she continued, speaking slower than before. “Who I am the most sorry to. The person who speaks to me every day. The one who tells me the truth, bluntly and without remorse. To the one who… who drove me to realise that I am not worth the love of anyone, not even my family. To the person who ensures I am aware of my uselessness, every day of my life. I’m sorry to be of trouble to you and –  What the hell is this?” She demanded, hissing the words at Minho as she threw the journal where he knelt. “You think you can make a pity party out of yourself? Huh?!”

“You’re such a .”

The classroom seemed to gasp in unison as the voice interrupted the girl bully’s reading. Slowly, Minho looked up, his sight blurry through the barrier of tears in his eyes. Even with his vision hazy, he would recognise Taemin anywhere, his crush walking to the back of the classroom to stand between Minho and the girl.

“E-excuse me?” The girl hissed.

“You’re. Such. A. .” Taemin spat back. “ing despicable. I’m so sick and tired of having to sit there and witness the horrible things you do to him day in and day out, using your little band of cult followers to make yourself right and everyone else wrong. Do you know what you were just reading? Do you?” He cried.

The girl seemed stunned by Taemin’s confrontation, but huffed, flicking hair over her shoulder. “It’s just his stupid journal. Aren’t you like disgusted that he has a freaking crush on you? Like it’s gross.”

“It’s not.” Taemin replied, shaking his head. “What’s gross is that you don’t realise that you’ve made him feel so bad about himself that he feels like he has to ing apologise to you in his journal. The place where he is supposed to feel the safest.”

“You’re seriously defending him?” The girl questioned. “What are you a gay too?”

Taemin didn’t respond, kneeling down to pick up the journal and give it to Minho. “Hey, let’s go take a walk, okay?” He offered quietly, holding a hand out to Minho for him to take.

He hesitated, not sure if this was a joke, if by some chance, Taemin would dropped him back down and laugh at him. But after a long moment, Taemin took the hand Minho had reached out and helped him to his feet. Murmurs were the only thing following them as Taemin lead Minho out of the room and into the hallways of the school. It was quiet, other classes in their own respective lessons, the day only half way through.

Taemin continued walking, not saying a word, his hand still clasped firmly with Minho’s, eventually leading the taller male outside, the outdoor eating area devoid of any people. “I’m sorry, Minho. I really am.” He began, his voice soft, hand relaxing around Minho’s so only their fingers remained connected.

“Sorry?” Minho asked in disbelief. “What could you possibly have to be sorry for?”

“For not stopping her sooner.”

“It’s called the “bystander effect”. It’s an unconscious fear of being judged for stepping out of the crowd. It happens to everybody.” Minho explained, eyes on the ground as Taemin continued to walk him around the school grounds. “And I don’t expect anyone to stand up for me. I’m not special or anything.”

Taemin shook his head. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s not like I’ve got some misconceived idea that I deserve more than what I have. I have a good family, a few friends online who don’t know who I really am, people who won’t miss me if I vanish.” Minho concluded. “And no one in real life would miss me either.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.” Taemin said. “More people would miss you than you realise.”

“What’s the point of missing me when I’m gone? He asked. “If they cared enough they’d miss me when I am around.”

The sentence held so much truth that Taemin couldn’t find words to respond for a short time, silence falling between them, fingers still linked. “Can I ask you something? And I know it might be personal, you can chose not to answer if you don’t want to.”

Minho only nodded.

“That letter she was reading… was it…” Taemin hesitated, his voice catching in his throat. “Was it a goodbye letter?”

“It was.”

“No. You weren’t really… you… you can’t.”

“If I want to, I perfectly can.” Minho said.

“No!” Taemin cried. “Y-you can’t just do that! There’s so much in your life you can do. You can’t just give up because one picked you out of a crowd and tormented you! I can’t let you do it.”

Minho’s eyes softened, fixing the grip between their hands. “It’s okay, Taemin. The only thing I ever wanted to do was to tell you how I felt and… while it wasn’t the way I would prefer, I’m glad you know. And I know you’re not repulsed by me too. It’s a bonus. I was just going to leave the page in your desk so you could find it tomorrow but – ”

“Don’t talk about this like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Come on, let’s talk to a while. Please, let me try to talk you out of it.”

Shaking his head, Minho looked out over the school grounds. “I don’t think there’s any way to convince me anymore.”

“Just let me try.” Taemin insisted. “Let’s get our bags and skip the rest of the day.”

Minho almost laughed softly at Taemin’s determination, a kind of fire he used to possess as well. It made him feel warm with memories. “Okay, if it’ll make you feel better.”

this was supposed to be a prompt for someone over on tumblr.... and it was supposed to be fluffy and cute and i obviously failed miserably at it OTL. so i'm still posting it, because it's still good, but i'm gonna write that person another prompt that's actually what they asked for lmao ;;;; i hope you liked it? (that's not something that i'm expecting of anyone tbh...)