Yugyeom had a problem, and he had the sinking feeling that it wouldn’t be going away anytime soon. He was in love, he had been for about a year now, but he wasn’t supposed to love this person. He wasn’t supposed to fall in love with his best friend. That was like, the number one best friend rule, dammit. But Bambam cluttered every crevice of his mind, his laughter echoed as a constant playlist in Yugyeom’s head, and his smile was like a drug that the younger had to see every day to get by. It wasn’t like Yugyeom had wanted this, but it had just happened. One day, he was laughing along with Bambam at something stupid Jackson did and then suddenly he was realizing how beautiful the other boy was when he laughed and how cute he looked with his nose all scrunched up in amusement. It didn’t make it any easier when Bambam was loved by literally everyone, either.

He watches as Bambam clambers onto Jackson’s back, laughing loudly and telling the older of the two that there was no way he could do a pushup with him on his back, and wonders why he had to fall in love with someone who seemed to belong to everyone. His gut twists when Jackson falls to the floor and pulls Bambam down with him, hugging him tightly and threatening  to do things he’d never do. He wishes he was in Jackson’s place, but even then, it wouldn’t mean anything. Bambam did things like that with everyone, what would make him any different? It’s when Mark walks over and tells Bambam he wants to try that Yugyeom decides he’d had enough of watching Bambam touch all over their friends.

“Hey, I’m gonna go get some food. Anyone want to come along?” Youngjae immediately brightens and jumps up at the mention of food, and Yugyeom smiles at his enthusiasm, despite the fact that he wants to strangle Mark for how he’s touching all over Bambam again.

“I’m coming, I’m coming! Does anybody want me to get them anything?” Jinyoung says something about ice cream and Jaebum rolls his eyes at his boyfriend, but says he’d like something with caffeine so he can stay awake for his classes later. Yugyeom purposely ignores whatever Jackson says, although he’s sure Youngjae will remember just fine because the kid is way too nice for his own good. Moments later, the two of them are outside and walking towards the small store only blocks away from the dorm they all live in. As soon as they step out the large sliding doors, Youngjae is looking at him, a strange look on his face.

“What’s that look for?” He can’t really find himself to be aggravated at Youngjae, since his intentions are almost always good, but he comes close to it when the other rolls his eyes and looks away.

“I was just trying to figure out why you suddenly got all pissy and decided to storm out of the dorms to go get food. What if Bambam had decided to come with you?” Yugyeom flinches and makes a face, cursing Youngjae for being so goddamn good at reading people.

“Why would he have? He looked pretty busy in there.” Youngjae snorts and Yugyeom considers telling him that it was very unattractive on him but decides he really doesn’t give a .

“You’re being obvious, Yugyeom. When are you going to it up and tell him?” Yugyeom sighs and opens the door for Youngjae once they reach the store, more out of habit than anything else, ignoring the look sent his way by his companion.

“If it was that easy, I would have told him already. I can never tell if he’s dating someone, he’s always so touchy with everyone he knows! I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out he and Jackson or Mark had something going on.”

“To be honest, I’d be less surprised if it was Jackson and Mark who had the thing going on.” Yugyeom contemplates throwing one of the boxed foods on the shelves they were passing at Youngjae, but decids that was too childish and settles for knocking him lightly in the head with his palm.

“I didn’t ask for your goddamn opinion, and we’re talking about Bambam. I don’t give a if Mark and Jackson are boning on their free time, more power to them.” Youngjae picks up a bag of chips and raises his eyebrows.

“Who’s been teaching you to talk like that, Gyeomie?” This time Yugyeom does throw one of the mini bags of chips at his friend, and Youngjae yelps in surprise, making the younger of the two laugh.

“We’re in college, Youngjae. In case you’ve forgotten, all of us are, you know, adults. Even me.” Youngjae sighs dramatically and picks up the bag, tossing it back to Yugyeom as he speaks.

“I remember when you were just starting high school, all awkward and cute. You’re just less cute and older now.” Yugyeom picks up another bag of chips and some beef jerky, deciding to ignore Youngjae as he walks towards the freezers in the back of the store. Youngjae trailed behind him, laughing softly. “If you like him, just make a move. If you don’t, I will.” Yugyeom turns so suddenly it actually hurts his neck.

“You er, I’ll-” Youngjae laughs louder now, causing the few other people browsing the selection of food to look over at them in curiosity.

“Don’t miss your chance, Gyeomie. Someone could steal him away from you. I can name at least five people off the top of my head that I know for a fact are interested in him, actually.” Yugyeom really wishes he’d just left the other guy at home and let him starve.

“I hope Jaebum and Jinyoung ile you for the rest of the year.” That actually makes Youngjae give him a pained expression.

“You don’t even have to hope, it seems like they’ve been doing it almost every night since they got together. Or at least, since we all moved into the dorms. I don’t know why I accepted to be roommates with Jaebum. I wasn’t thinking straight,” he pauses to grab a carbonated drink from one of the freezers and Yugyeom takes it from him as they look over the ice cream choices.

“Do you ever think straight? You’re gay as , don’t try fooling me.” Youngjae rolls his eyes again and grabs the ice cream Jinyoung had requested.

“I didn’t mean it that way, thanks. I’m just really happy when they decide to stay at Jinyoung’s dorm. Lucky guy got the whole thing to himself.” They head towards the front of the store, and Yugyeom notices the candy that Bambam likes is on sale. After a moment of hesitation, he picks it up and adds it to the pile of things in their basket. Youngjae laughs at him. “Whipped.”

“Shut up. Why didn’t they room together in the first place?”

“They were off at that point, remember? That was the time they broke up for about a month and all of us decided we’d stop believing in love if they didn’t get back together.”

“Oh yeah,” they’ve reached the checkout line now, and Yugyeom begins to place the things on the belt, “That was a sad time for all of us. I’m glad they worked it all out, I don’t think I could have dealt with the awkwardness for much longer.” Youngjae shakes his head, wearing the same face he wears when he’s disappointed in one of the older guys in their group.

“Both of them were too damn stubborn. Don’t be stupid like them, Yugyeom, ask Bambam out.” It’s Yugyeom’s turn to roll his eyes.

“If only it was that easy. What am I supposed to do? Walk up and be like ‘Oh hey, best friend, I kinda love you in a not best friend way and kinda want to kiss you’.” Youngjae doesn’t reply, because now they’re at the front of the checkout line and the cashier is looking at them weird. Yugyeom lets Youngjae pay for half of it, because he’s not nice enough to take the whole bill, and takes two of the bags, letting his friend just take the one with a ‘don’t act like I’m not stronger than you, stupid’. They’re outside before Youngjae starts talking again.

“I don’t know, this is your crush. All I know is that someone else is going to come into the picture and become a permanent if you don’t hurry.” Yugyeom knows he’s telling the truth, and he also knows that Youngjae wasn’t lying when he implied that he would Bambam if he was given the chance. Bambam just had that way about him, making people fall for his charms left and right. So instead of trying to argue with him, he looks down at his feet and counts how many steps it takes for him to get back to the dorm.

When they get back, Jinyoung immediately sits up and smiles widely as Youngjae pulls his ice cream out of the bag. Jaebum watches with amusement and accepts his drink, never once looking away from his boyfriend’s face and making Yugyeom and Youngjae share a look of fake disgust at their cuteness. As Jaebum watches his boyfriend fawn over the small carton of happiness, Yugyeom notices that Mark, Jackson, and Bambam are no longer on the floor, but have relocated themselves to the couch. Youngjae throws a bag of chips at Jackson (he knew Youngjae would remember) and Yugyeom slides into the free spot next to Bambam, handing him the box of candy as he does. Bambam’s face lights up with joy and he throws his arms around Yugyeom’s shoulders in a hug, making him smile and almost glow with pride. He catches Youngjae’s eyes from where the other boy has situated himself beside Jackson and can’t bring himself to care when the other mouths ‘whipped’ and shakes his head. Not when Bambam is babbling in his ear about how much he loves him.

-

Jackson and his idea to come to a club. A club was the last thing Yugyeom needed, especially when Bambam decided to wear some skintight pants that make his legs look overly appealing and a shirt showing off his collarbones. Usually, Yugyeom loved going to clubs so he could dance his problems away, but now he’s dancing with his problem and it’s not making anything any better. He’s slightly intoxicated, and the alcohol in his blood is making it hard to concentrate on anything other than the way Bambam’s hands wander over his shoulders and how enticing his neck looks when he throws back his head and laughs. For some reason, Bambam thought it would be fun to drag Yugyeom out to dance with him after they’d all had a few rounds of shots and everyone was feeling a bit tipsy. Maybe it was because he was tired of watching Jaebum and Jinyoung with their PDA, or maybe it was because Youngjae had been placing playful drunken kisses on Bambam’s neck and watching Yugyeom with a mischievous look on his face, but for some reason, Yugyeom had followed along behind him. And he is now regretting his that decision.

Bambam is pressing Yugyeom’s limits, getting way too close and whispering all these things in his ear, making Yugyeom pull out all of his self-restraint so he doesn’t drag Bambam into the nearest bathroom and completely ravage him. He doubts Bambam would mind, Yugyeom remembers the times the other man had disappeared with someone at a club, whether it was that one time with Jackson or with someone they knew only from school. Suddenly, Bambam is pulling away and saying something about needing to go to the restroom, and Yugyeom walks numbly back to their table, sliding into the chair and downing one of the full shots in the middle of the group of guys, savoring the feel of the alcohol burning down his throat. When he places the glass down and looks around, he notices Jaebum and Jinyoung are gone, either dancing or ing in the restroom and Youngjae is grinning at him.

“So are you going to get with him tonight or no?” Yugyeom looks at him bitterly.

“Who ing knows? I’m not going to take advantage of him if he’s drunk.” Youngjae laughs and reaches over him to get another glass, resting his left hand on Yugyeom’s thigh and making the younger a bit uncomfortable.

“Please, when Bambam gets like this, he doesn’t care who it is. He’s just craving attention and affection; he’s the same as Jackson and me, when I’m drunk.” Yugyeom looks down, because Youngjae is still pretty damn short, and watches as Youngjae’s eyes flit over his face, thigh feeling hot where his hand is still splayed. “I don’t know how your mind works, Gyeomie,” he finally draws, leaning closer and squinting up at Yugyeom. The younger is happy that Mark, Jackson, and the rest of the guys they came to the club with are too busy loudly laughing about something to notice them, because knowing Jackson, everyone would think he and Youngjae were dating the next morning when they woke up.

“I don’t want to just him, I want something permanent.” Youngjae snorts again, and Yugyeom figures it’s probably the alcohol making it seem less ugly and more endearing.

“You aren’t going to get that tonight. Bambam is too far in. Look.” Yugyeom turns to look as he’s told, and wishes he hadn’t. Bambam is out on the dance floor again, but this time it isn’t with Yugyeom. This time, it’s with a guy Yugyeom remembers from his dance class as Jungkook, and Bambam doesn’t look like he’s going to be separating from him any time soon. He quickly looks away, and Youngjae laughs, but it’s tinged with a bit of sadness, like Youngjae knows how he’s feeling. “Told you.”

“At least it’s Jungkook. Jungkook is a good guy,” his voice sounds hollow and unconvincing, even to him, and Youngjae slides a glass towards him before taking one for himself.

“Drink it and come dance with me, Gyeomie. I know you want to dance again.” Youngjae’s hand is still on his thigh, and Yugyeom eyes him as he takes the shot from his hand.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were heartbroken too.” Youngjae’s eyes flit over to where Mark and Jackson are clinging to each other as one of the guys across from them, Namjoon or something, does something incredibly stupid and embarrasses himself. He doesn’t really know them all that well, he knows they know Jungkook and that’s it, but they were friends with Mark, so they tagged along. Yugyeom follows his gaze and then looks back down at Youngjae, who’s smiling again, but in a drunk, barely-there way.

“Yeah… You’d think.” Then, he’s downing his shot and looking at Yugyeom expectantly, watching with wide, almost unfocused eyes as Yugyeom makes up his mind and downs his shot before finally grabbing the hand resting on his thigh.

“Let’s go,” he mutters, standing abruptly and causing some of the guys to look at them. He swears Jackson’s gaze lingers on their intertwined hands, but then Youngjae’s standing too and Yugyeom’s hand moves to his waist as he turns his back on their table and heads for the dance floor. The alcohol in his blood drowns out any resistance and Youngjae presses to his side, warm and all too real. It’s only a few moments before they’re dancing and Yugyeom’s beginning to leave it all behind, focusing on the music, the beat, and Youngjae’s sinful little smile in front of him.

Youngjae’s hands run up Yugyeom’s arms, tracing over the invisible lines Bambam had left behind before, and Yugyeom lets himself grip the man’s hips and pull him closer. Only a few moving bodies away, Bambam was dancing with someone who wasn’t him, but he was letting the alcohol and music cloud his brain and push out all thoughts of his best friend, replacing everything with the want to ‘take, take take’ when Youngjae moves their hips together and leans up, whispering the words to the song playing into Yugyeom’s neck, lips fluttering against hot skin and driving him insane.

“Damn, and here I was thinking you were all sweet and innocent.” His voice comes out lower than he intended it to and almost shocks him as much as it does Youngjae, although he enjoys the way he can feel Youngjae’s body shiver under his fingertips on his hips.

“I guess you have to think again, you big giant,” Yugyeom’s sure it’s supposed to be funny or something, but Youngjae’s lips are still moving against his neck and making it hard to concentrate on anything. “I guess I could say the same thing.” The music changes tempo, something more sensual, and Yugyeom can feel it getting more crowded as more people get intoxicated and begin to fill the dance floor. Youngjae rolls his hips again and Yugyeom throws away all caution as he brings up one hand to tangle in Youngjae’s hair and pull him away from his shoulder so he can kiss him hard. Youngjae doesn’t seem to mind, opening his mouth immediately, and he tastes like vodka and a mixture of other alcohols that make Yugyeom’s head spin. He draws away moments later to take a breath and takes in Youngjae’s slightly wet lips and flushed cheeks for a second before deciding, it, they wouldn’t be missed much.

“Home, now,” he almost growls, and Youngjae laughs lowly, all too ready to follow behind him, out the door and into the night. Had they been paying attention, they’d have noticed Bambam staring after them, a look of hurt on his face.

-

Yugyeom wakes up the next morning to a headache and a foul taste in his mouth. It takes him a few moments to realize there’s another body in bed with him, a few more to figure out he’s not in his room, and a second after that to begin remembering what had happened the night before. Youngjae’s bare arms are wrapped loosely around his torso and he has one arm underneath Youngjae’s head, and their legs are tangled together underneath Youngjae’s soft sheets. Half of him wants to get up and get the out, but the other half wants to go back to sleep and he thinks that’s probably the best idea, since he’s too tangled up with Youngjae to go anywhere anyways.

When he wakes up again, his headache is a little bit better and Youngjae has withdrawn one of his arms and is scrolling through his Instagram feed on his phone. Yugyeom watches him for a moment, trying to shove down the panic in his stomach that came with the fact that he’d just slept with one of his best friends, and not even the one he was head over heels in love with. After a minute of him just watching, Youngjae seems to sense his eyes and looks over at him.

“Oh…Good morning.” He sits up slowly and they begin to untangle themselves slowly. Yugyeom notices that Youngjae winces when he moves and he has to shove down the blush threatening to spill over his face when he sees the bruises on Youngjae’s thin hips.

“Good morning…” He can’t really think of anything to say, and he was sure his hangover wasn’t helping anything, because he couldn’t really think straight with his brain trying to escape his skull. He’s also pretty sure he has scratch marks on his back, because it burns to move his shoulders too much. He glances over at the floor and it feels weird to see his clothes strewn around with Youngjae’s instead of Bambam’s. Bambam would usually just strip down and leave his clothes all over their dorm floor, mixed in with Yugyeom’s until they had time to pick them up and try to figure out which shirts belonged to whom.

“Um, do you want some coffee? And I have some Advil for this damn hangover.” Youngjae rubs at his eyes and Yugyeom nods, because coffee does sound good. As does Advil.

“That would be awesome.” He moves his legs out of the sheets and makes a face when his foot brushes against a wet spot. “Ugh, you’re going to need to wash these. Actually, we both smell like , we need to wash ourselves.” Youngjae laughs, then groans and rubs his temples.

“Don’t make me laugh, it hurts,” he whines as he makes his way over to the end of the bed. Yugyeom tries to ignore the fact that he’s and yeah, there’s very obvious hickies on his neck and down his shoulders and even on his chest and stomach that are definitely from him. Instead, he focuses on dragging himself from the bed and pulling on his briefs. He’s about to get his pants when Youngjae throws a pair of familiar sweatpants at him. “Those are yours. We got them mixed up last time. Might as well take them now.” Youngjae is wearing his own pair of sweatpants, and Yugyeom kinda wants him to put on a shirt, but decides it can wait and pulls on the pants gratefully.

“Well, at least this saves me from having to wear the same clothes as I did last night.” Youngjae then throws him a t-shirt and grabs one of his own to pull over his head while Yugyeom stares at him incredulously. “How did so much of my stuff end up over here?” Youngjae laughs, this time softer as to not annoy his headache.

“I’ll admit that I stole that one because I really liked it. It was a bit too big on me though, so I only wore it a few times when it wouldn’t look stupid tucked in.” Yugyeom rolls his eyes and slides into it, wincing slightly when the fabric glides over the scratches on his back and shoulders.

“You could ask to borrow things, you know. Instead of taking them.”

“You should be glad that I have clothes that fit you over here, otherwise you’d be walking back to your dorm in clubbing clothes.”

“I’m still going to smell like .” Youngjae groans loudly and Yugyeom has to smile at how exasperated he looks.

“Do you have to complain about everything?” He doesn’t notice that Youngjae is reaching for spray-on cologne until it’s too late and he’s being attacked with it. He yells in surprise and turns away, shielding his face from the attack and Youngjae almost climbs on top of him, laughing loudly. It makes his headache worse, but suddenly he’s thankful that nothing is too awkward. That they’re still friends through… Whatever that had been.

“Stop! Okay, okay, stop! Now they’re going to think I robbed Old Spice!” Youngjae laughs again and slides off of him, still wielding the bottle and smiling. “What happened to laughing giving you a headache?”

“I still have a headache, but it’s so worth it.” Yugyeom’s about to retaliate and say something when there’s a door slamming and Jaebum’s voice is calling Youngjae’s name. Quickly, they both spring apart and Youngjae starts tugging up the collar of his shirt, while Yugyeom tugs his sleeves down farther, wishing Youngjae hadn’t left scratch marks down his shoulders and onto his arms.

“Youngjae? Youngjae, are you here?” Youngjae takes a deep breath and shoots Yugyeom a slightly panicked glance that lets him know they’re in it together.

“I’m in here!” Jaebum steps around the curtain separating their beds and Yugyeom is suddenly glad Youngjae sprayed enough cologne that the room now smells like an Old Spice factory and not like .

“Oh, Yugyeom. Sorry, did I interrupt something?” Youngjae gives him a wide smile as Yugyeom tries not to blush and look away guiltily.

“No, did you need something?” Youngjae looks all innocent all of a sudden, and Yugyeom channels his younger self, back when he used to screw with everyone and then use his innocent face to get out of it. Jaebum doesn’t look completely convinced, but he doesn’t ask any more questions.

“Well, Jinyoung and I were going to go get some breakfast and Jinyoung thought we’d stop by and ask if you wanted to tag along.” Youngjae shakes his head as he places the cologne back on his dresser.

“Nah, hangover’s a . I’ll just stay here where I don’t have to deal with the outside world. Yugyeom and I will just have something here.” Jaebum shrugs his shoulders.

“Suit yourself. Don’t dirty the place up too much.” Before either of them can ask what he meant by that statement, Jaebum is walking away. When the door to the dorm is safely shut and they can no longer hear Jinyoung and Jaebum outside, Yugyeom locks eyes with Youngjae and suddenly they’re both grinning.

“I was so afraid Jaebum was going to say something, oh my god. We’d have gotten ‘The Talk’ all over again.” Yugyeom laughs, then whines when it causes his head to pound.

“You said you had Advil? Because that would be great right now.” Youngjae nods and tugs at his shirt as he turns to his dresser and opens the tops drawer, rummaging around.

“Yeah, hang on.” After a few seconds, he’s walking over to the bed with a bottle of Advil in his hand. “We have to go to the main room to go get coffee and water though.” Yugyeom grimaced slightly, not liking the idea of walking out and having to face anyone out there. All of their small rooms, each one with one bathroom and one large room with desks and beds shoved into it, were connected by a hall to a larger space with a kitchen, microwave, fridge, and any other living necessities that someone might not be lucky enough to have in their room. It was basically like living with about 10 or 12 other people you only had to see when you needed something from the bigger kitchen or wanted to play video games. While it was great on most days, especially when coffee was a necessity to live, it was a pain in the after a hookup, because it basically showed everyone that hey, you’d spent the night in a dorm that wasn’t yours. Some people didn’t mind it, but Yugyeom definitely did.

“Of all days for you two not to have any water bottles in your fridge.” Youngjae nods, making a face.

“I know, just our luck. Come on, dude, we’ll just have to face it.” Yugyeom stands to his feet and makes sure he’s actually dressed before following Youngjae over to the door leading to the main hall.

“You know, you should cover those hickies with some makeup or something. They’re pretty obvious.” Youngjae sticks out his tongue and opens the door, obviously not going to follow Yugyeom’s advice.

“You’re fault, it up.” Yugyeom rolls his eyes at his childish action and steps out, closing the door behind him before walking down the hall toward the main room. His and Bambam’s room was at the very end of the hall, and he stubbornly refused to look at it as he passed, eyes on the floor as if that would make Bambam any less real. When they reach the main room, Jinyoung and Jaebum are still there, talking to Mark and Jackson and it looks like almost everyone is nursing their hangovers in the same way: a cup of coffee and some Advil. Yugyeom fights the urge to turn around and walk back to the temporary safety of Youngjae and Jaebum’s dorm and just stay there, but there’s no turning around now, and he knows it. Youngjae looks uncomfortable when Jackson looks over at them, so Yugyeom steers them over to the coffee machines while whining as naturally as he can about having a headache and needing coffee as they walk. He’s hoping everyone will just drop it, or at least pretend nothing happened, but their friends are loud, and he has the sinking feeling that it’s not going to happen.

At least Jackson waits until they both have their coffee and have taken the Advil before he moves in, eyebrows raised in a mischievous way that makes Yugyeom feel nauseous and nervous. He knows the whole room is looking at them by the way it’s mostly quiet, and he knows Youngjae knows too when they lock eyes. They’re in it together now, and there’s no backing out.

“So, are you two a thing now?” Jackson slides into the seat beside Youngjae, making him jump a bit, and Yugyeom shoots him a look and takes a sip of his coffee.

“Why would we be a thing? Are you and Mark a thing yet?” Youngjae shoots the question back at him, making a face and wrapping his hands around his cup. Jackson stutters, at a loss for words while Mark starts to blush and tug the collar of his shirt back up.

“Hey, don’t turn this on me, you little .” It’s Yugyeom’s turn to look at him irritably.

“Well, how about you answer our question and we’ll answer yours? Or are you and Markie Mark too scared to tell everyone you totally ed last night?” Mark’s face is flaming red now, and he’s looking at the floor, not saying anything but showing it all with his body language.

“How would you know anything about that-“

“Your dorm is right next to mine,” Youngjae drawls, “Trust me, I hear the two of you every time.” Jackson is suddenly at a loss for words, his face now coloring to match Mark’s.

“Shut up,” he hisses, but it’s too late, and now everyone there is staring at Jackson and Mark. Jinyoung actually whistles and it makes everyone burst into quiet laughter, all of them trying in vain to stifle their laughter.

“You shouldn’t have said anything, Jackson. You dug your own grave.” Yugyeom finishes his cup of coffee in a few more gulps. “Now, how about you lay off of us and make sure Mark doesn’t explode from embarrassment?” Youngjae half laughs and then he’s standing along with Yugyeom and they walk to throw away their cups together. The room is mostly quiet, and Youngjae grins innocently and holds his hand out for their handshake, like he usually would when they terrorized Jaebum together. With a smile of his own, Yugyeom accepts the handshake and bumps their shoulders together.

“Go get a shower. You reek of Old Spice and sweat.” Yugyeom wrinkles his nose.

“I could say the same for you. And do yourself a favor and find some makeup.” Youngjae laughs, like, for real, and it’s a relief to hear it.

“Whatever you say. Don’t leave you-know-who waiting too long.” He then winks and turns quickly, heading towards his room with a full cup of coffee. Yugyeom stands where he is, watching him leave, then turns and throws away his cup before turning to give everyone who just watched their exchange a smile, for good measure. His eyes catch Bambam’s, and they linger there for a second, trying to decipher the look Bambam is giving him before they both break away and he makes his way to their room. As soon as he’s back, he receives a text from Youngjae saying he’ll bring his clothes over later and makes a beeline for the shower. His skin feels gross, like he needs to scrub away a sin, and his mouth still feels cottony. So he turns on the showerhead and hopes he can scrub away the feeling of loving someone he’ll never have and sleeping with someone he’ll never love.