10/11/2015 3:14AM
This is is so crazy. I never expected myself to fall in love with another roleplayer, but I did with you. 

Let's see, we added each other on October 8? The reason was because we needed to get into teams. I asked for peopl to join my team, team china, and you did. Then we started talking then I have learned a lot of stuffs about you and I briefly explained you Booyoung, yet at the same time I felt the pain you still had over your ex-girlfriend. You also sent your picture, and I was self-conscious to send you mine because I did not know what you would think. We then added each other on LINE and I learned your Korean name. As you said it was hard to find bi korean and chinese girls, I thought about the possibility of us two dating, because how nice would it be to date another biual. 

You were cute when you told me to sleep at 3am.

For the following days, we did not had much chance to talk, but then October 15. You told me you were drunk and depressed. You had problems with your mom. I was worried sick about you. I then decided to sing you songs to soothen your mood. I think I did the right thing, because it was then that I slowly started to fall in love with you. While I sang, you called me your wifey and your hubby, that moved me. You ended up studying. 

On October 18, you messaged me Good Night but also I love you. My heart beat fast then, I replied I love you too. I meant it, but I do not know how you felt.

During this time, I guess we kept playing each other? On my roleplay, we became a couple, we started calling each other babe. 

On October 20, you jokingly asked me out, at that time I did wish that you were not joking. I then asked you about your past relationships, because I wanted to get to know you. 

You said you still could not move on from your first love. You did not want to talk about it, it made you sad. I'm so sorry. 

Yet then you told me that there was a girl at your house and that you were . Ugh wow, you made me crave you, but then I was very shy. I do not know why, but I felt so shy, and not ready to do it with you virtually? Usually I just go along, but it took me a long time for me to finally be able to do it. I wished that I was that girl. You are this special to me.

The next day, you told me a friend confessed to you and I jokingly said could I be the next. yet you told me that you kind of liked her, but you were not ready, still not over your ex.

Ugh October 22, you told me you almost killed yourself and that your Mother might send you back to Korea. Please do not cut yourself. Never. 

Thank you, October 23, you realized I like you because I told you I moved on from my crush because of you. There I did not want to make it obvious, so I said some bull like, I feel like protecting you and I am not too quite sure how I feel about you. Those were lies, I fell in love with you. Thank you, you told me you missed me and stole a kiss from me. That day was kind of our indirect becoming a couple day. 

During this whole time, it felt so unreal to me, I did not know if we were truly a couple. I felt like yes you liked me but that was all. Even now I feel like this, because I love you so damn much. I asked you if we were a thing and you said yes, that reassured me a little but... is it really true? I know you still have not moved on from your ex, and I wish I could be the one who would make you move on. 

For the past week you have been extremely busy studying. I wish you would spend time with me, but I do not want to be the possessive and jealous girlfriend, so I try not to be too sweet, but I can't help myself. I have not been sleeping much neither, I skipped a lot, not really because of you, but I feel really depressed. I have to study and work harder, but I can't seem to do it. Even now I am wasting my time and typing this out. I think I will have an all-nighter, but I don't know. I do not know what I want right now. I talked to Mijoo, she gave me advices, it helped me, but not getting your replies really makes me sad. I feel very lonely without you. You have completely made me mad in love. I just wish I could be by your side and spend time with you. 

3:50am
Babe, I feel so insecure, would you please tell me you love me? 
If you do, I will make sure to make you move on from your ex-girlfriend alright?