They dashed through the rain like fools. It was perhaps not Siwon’s greatest idea ever, but he was preoccupied with keeping his promise to Kyu. She’d trusted him and he’d promised her that they’d be free from the prying eyes of others. Now was all about damage control.

As they raced away from the cameras behind them, Siwon looked back to Kyu, feeling the oddest burst of happiness that she had his dinner jacket still clutched tightly over her head, protecting her hair and face.

The sight, kindling something deep in him, made him want to hold her hand tighter, lacing their fingers together in a way that promised he wouldn’t let go for anything. He hoped that’s what she was feeling, and he swore he felt her squeeze back.

They splashed through puddles as they darted between buildings, trying to evade the people who were on foot behind them, flashes going off at a dizzily rate. Siwon didn’t care in the least bit if the men following them got a hundred pictures of him waterlogged and looking absolutely horrible. It would be worth any lecture in the world if it only meant that Kyu’s identity was protected.

He couldn’t say for sure, however, if it was. It had been foolish to grab her like an idiot and kiss her. It had been foolish to give into the temptation that had been building under his skin for days, since he’d met her, even, without checking around him. Even trainees at the company knew to check for cameras first and foremost.

But what a kiss it had been.

One that he’d thought might sate him, considering she was insisting that they part ways, crushing his heart in the process. But it had only made him hungrier and more determined to convince her that they were a good pair.

If she ended up being the only girl he was attracted to ually for the rest of his life, she would be more than enough.

He couldn’t let her go. No matter how he’d given his word. It felt like if he did, he’d be giving away part of himself. A part he couldn’t function without.

“I’m sorry!” Siwon shouted, trying to pull her a little faster. Her heels were holding them up and the camera men were gaining on them. What a ridiculous sight they must have all made.

“For what?” Kyu shouted back, and it was the first time Siwon realized she was laughing. was split open in a beautiful smile and her laughter was like music to his ears. “I take back everything! This is amazing!”

He didn’t know how she could think that. Her feet had to be killing her. She was drenched, too, despite his jacket over her head. He tried not to think about the sinful way her dress was clinging to her body.

Kyu pulled a little away from him to splash deliberately through a huge puddle and Siwon found himself being pulled after her.

“It’s fun!” she called out, and it was only one more thing to like about her. She could take a horrible, downright terrible moment and turn it into something worthwhile. She should have been yelling at him, accusing him of breaking his word. Instead she was dragging him through puddles, drenching the last of his dry clothing, making him laugh too.

He hadn’t run through a rainstorm since he was a kid. He hadn’t jumped through puddles since then, either. The actions left him feeling free and a little weightless. It didn’t take long before he was the one pulling her through the puddles, joining her in the ankle deep water.

When Siwon’s chest was heaving from the sprint, which meant Kyu had to be close to collapsing, Siwon spotted their salvation.

“Down here!” Siwon shouted, jerking her down a nearby alleyway, so fast that he could see Kyu almost lose her footing. He resolved quickly to be more aware of her and the shoes she wore.

“Where are we going?” Kyu called out to him, a goofy smile on her face.

“I‘ve got a plan!” Siwon shouted back, a matching smile on his own face.

There was the trust on her face that Siwon had so desperately hoped to achieve. He could see it shining like a beacon as she let him lead her on with no fear.

They’d gone just a bit more distance before Siwon let up and they were ducking into a noodle shop. It was a tiny, deserted area, with only one elderly woman, the owner, occupying the space. But it was warm, dry, and it was just out of the way enough that they were hidden from sight to anyone walking the nearby streets.

“Are you okay?” Siwon asked, turning to Kyu with concern. Had he pulled her too hard? Made her run too fast?

“Are you kidding?” she demanded, still smiling. “That was awesome!”

Siwon laughed again and guided her to a nearby table. “Wait here,” he requested, and then approached the owner of the noodle house.

For a few thousand won he secured them both dry towels, water bottles and the woman’s silence that she would pretend she’d never seen them if anyone ever came looking for them.

“Is that how it is for you everyday?” Kyu asked, sliding her shoes off gingerly and massaging her feet. They were red and probably cold and Siwon reached for them right away, ignoring the way Kyu froze up.

Her toes were as frozen as they looked as Siwon tried to rub warmth back into them. “There are always cameras,” he told her honestly, watching her work the cap of the bottle off. “People are always shouting at us to look their way, give us a few words and that sort. And unfortunately, they do follow us around after our scheduled activities.”

“They have no respect for you privacy,” Kyu said angrily, and Siwon had never really heard anyone defend his privacy. His managers and elders always told him to bear it. They never told him it was disrespectful.

Siwon worked his fingers across her feet, savoring the feeling of her soft skin, and said guiltily, “I broke my word to you, Kyu. I’m very sorry. I promised you that you wouldn’t have to deal with any of this.”

Kyu took a deep breath, her shoulders shrugging deeply. “I’ll tell you what I told Leeteuk oppa. You can’t be faulted for someone else’s behavior. That’s stupid.”

“But I gave you my word,” Siwon said, shaking his head.

Slowly Kyu drew her feet back from his hand and reasoned out, “Maybe it was my fault. I’m the one who dashed out of the restaurant without waiting for my cab to arrive. I knew this could happen, no matter what you promised.” She was silent for a moment, then added, “But running through the rain was fun.”

Siwon expertly avoided bringing up her dash from their meal, and instead said, “I can barely remember the last time I did it. And the rain felt great on my face.”

“How long do you think we’ll have to stay here?” Kyu asked, turning to look out a nearby window. Siwon didn’t think she could see out to the main street, but he understood her paranoia.

“A while longer,” Siwon said evenly. He wanted to keep her as long as possible. “I don’t think those men will give up easily. Not since it’s been a while since a scandal broke with Super Junior.”

Kyu gave a decidedly unfeminine snort and said, “Scandal. Fantastic.”

“Don’t worry,” Siwon chuckled, reaching for his own bottle of water, his hair drying slowly between the towel he’d draped over his head and the heater blowing over them. “They’ll never get your name. And we’ll wait here until we’re sure they’re gone. Maybe an hour, two at the most.”

“I could just risk it,” Kyu said, making Siwon’s hear clench up. “I could call a cab here and duck into it.”

Siwon felt his fingers clench down on the bottle. “What if someone saw you? They’d follow you back to your home and things would be very bad.”

Kyu paled. “You think they’d follow me home?”

Nodding, Siwon said, “I know they would. Look, I know you wanted to leave. I’m sorry for following you and … and kissing you. At least kissing you out in the open. But waiting this out is our best shot at protecting your identity. In about an hour I’ll call Leeteuk hyung and explain the situation. I’m sure he’ll come and pick us up. I’ll have him drop you off at home then.”

Slowly Kyu patted herself down with her towel and she asked timidly, “Will you get in trouble? For the pictures?”

“Probably,” Siwon said, but what he meant was he knew he would. His managers would be furious. Dating within SM was encouraged, if only to control the flow of news leaked out to the press, but dating outside was frowned upon. And there’d be half a dozen people at least upset that he’d been stupid enough to go and get photographed while on a date with what they’d see as an uncontrollable variable. “Super Junior isn’t just selling music, you know. We’re selling ourselves, too. My managers won’t like that I’ve effectively taken myself off the market with those pictures. The female fans are already pretty mad.”

“You’re not a thing,” Kyu said softly, her hands stilling. “How can people think about you like that? As just some commodity that makes them money?”

“Kyu,” Siwon said, still amazed by her. “You …”

“Are ridiculous,” she supplied herself, leaning back in her seat. “At least for butting into your business. But don’t think you’re off the hook for kissing me.”

It was his fondest memory ever.

“I seem to remember you kissing me back,” Siwon replied.

Almost indignantly, Kyu protested, “When one is kissed, it’s only expected that they kiss back. I can’t be blamed for only doing the expected.”

“The expected?” Siwon moved to the chair next to her suddenly, making her pull back in surprise. “You kissed me back and it meant something.”

“It didn’t,” she protested, but it wasn’t very firm.

“It did,” Siwon said again, and he knew he was going to do it again. There was something too alluring about her. Too addicting. “And I’ll prove it to you.”

He was right.

The moment he kissed her, sliding an arm around the back of her chair, puling her in closer, he felt her arch up into the kiss eagerly. moved against his in a way that made them feel evenly matched, and when finally opened, Siwon seized the moment. He had his tongue meeting hers in a second more, and she was groaning happily as she pulled at his wet shirt.

A heavy, loud voice cleared behind them and it was only then Siwon realized they weren’t alone.

He rumbled out an apology to the owner and fought the urge to kiss Kyu again anyway.

“You have to stop doing that,” she mumbled, fingers at her temple.

“I will the second you want me to stop,” Siwon said, feeling bold and maybe even powerful. He’d kissed her several times now, and each time, no matter how often she’d claimed she wanted nothing to do with him, she’d kissed him back.

She said, “I shouldn’t have to tell you to. Not again.”

Siwon anchored his arm around her chair a little more forcefully and feeling more than a little giddy, replied, “I would, I swear, but I just don’t believe you when you say there’s nothing here between us. And I don’t think you believe you, either.”

Thirty minutes later their bottles were empty, the heater and towels had done wonders, and the rain was finally letting up. It seemed the storm had passed and the night sky was starting to clear again.

“Should you try calling your hyung now?” Kyu asked.

He couldn’t. He absolutely couldn’t. Siwon’s cellphone felt heavy and horrible in his pocket, like it was the object of his destruction. Because if he called Leeteuk, his time with Kyu would be over. He’d have to take her home, and he wasn’t sure what he’d be able to do after that. If anything.

She was very clear in saying she didn’t want to see him again.

But those kisses …

“Do you really want this night to be over?” Siwon asked bluntly, sliding his fingers up her arm a little. The skin there was as soft as the rest of her. It was enough to drive a man to madness.

“I already told you,” she said, sounded less patient but more sad, “this isn’t about what I want. This is about what’s best.”

Siwon steeled himself. “That’s not what I asked, Kyu. I asked you if you wanted this night to be over.”

She reached for her own cell then, not pink or purple or glitter covered like most girl’s phones were. A swipe of the screen lit up the time and she said, “It’s almost midnight. The night is nearly over.”

“Kyu?” Siwon said pointedly.

It seemed something heavy and trying for her to finally give in and say, “No. And you know that. I want … this to last forever, even though I know it can’t.”

Siwon climbed to his feet and held a hand out to her, thinking she looked even more beautiful still half wet, makeup ruined. “If you don’t want this night to be over just yet, then take my hand and continue to trust me.”

“That look on your face,” she pointed out.

“This is my thinking face,” Siwon defended, but counted it as a major victory when he had her sturdy fingers in his. “And I’ve just thought of something to keep this night going a little longer.”

“At almost midnight?”

He pulled her up to her feet and reminded, “This is Seoul, Kyu. This city is alive through the night and into the morning. So if you still trust me, let’s go have a little fun.”

They got a cab quick, in almost fifteen minutes flat, and they piled in with almost dry clothing, squishing together despite the room in the back of the cab. Siwon delivered the address to the driver and put an arm around Kyu.

“What are we going to do?” Kyu asked, and she looked excited. It made Siwon feel like he was finally making the right moves.

Siwon waved a hand. “Fancy dinners and nice clothing are fine. But sometimes I just want to have fun and be normal. When I can sneak away, once in a while, this is where I go. Ryeowook comes with me occasionally. And I want to take you, tonight.”

Hidden from view, Siwon felt Kyuh’s hand rest on his thigh. It was the boldest she’d ever been with him and it made a thrill run through Siwon’s body.

No amount of Sundays spent praying at church was going to rid Siwon of the lustful thoughts he had in his mind right now. Or his determination to make Kyu his no matter what it took. Now, with just the smallest taste of what it was like to be with her, he was going to fight tooth and nail for her.

He couldn’t do any less and still call himself a man.

“We’re going here?” Kyu asked, her eyes wide, fingers pressing up against the cab’s window when their obvious destination came into sight.

Feeling pleased with himself, Siwon asked, “Have you ever been to Dongdaemun Market after hours?”

Kyu shook her head immediately. “I always wanted to go. But I was too young before, and lately I’ve been too overwhelmed by school and work.”

The cab jerked to a stop in front of a huge mass of people, and Siwon leaned forward to pay the fair. Then he was guiding Kyu out and mumbling into her ear, “You ready?’

He knew the sight of the market could be a little overwhelming. People were like ants, spread out everywhere, moving in groups and singularly, shouting and laughing and taking up so much space. Vendors were everywhere, most of them open for at least a few more hours, a lot of them open twenty-four. And the explosion of colors everywhere, from the people selling food, to the ones selling clothing and toys and trinkets, and the arcade in the distance, was something that had to truly be experienced at least once.

Not even the previous bout of rain had dampened the market’s vibrant energy.

“Come on!” Kyu said, taking his hand so easily it almost seemed normal, and then she was pulling him into the mass of people scurrying everywhere. He could see her heading directly towards clothing, and Siwon thought it was odd that he’d feel excited over the prospect of emptying his wallet on her.

Siwon kept her honey colored head in sight all times, not daring to risk losing her with so many people. But he also let her go free. He was starting to understand the kind of person Kyu was. She was a wild, free sprit, and any time he tried to hold her down, or hold her back, she rebelled immediately. If he wanted to be with her, he had to learn how to work around that.

“Much better!” Kyu remarked a little later when her dress was discarded into a bag and she wearing instead a simple pair of jeans and a yellow top. Then she pulled a blue hoodie over her head and sighed happily. She looked infinitely more comfortable in pants, and with her hair pulled back and up with a matching yellow scrunchy.

“You look good,” he said, diving immediately to her side and hooking an arm around her waist. He leaned down to kiss the side of her head and she gave him a firm push.

“None of that yet, please.” Then she was off, hunting for something, humming as she went.

“Yet?” he echoed after her.

She wasn’t satisfied until Siwon was out of his own suit, dressed in cargo pants and a graphic tee, a baseball cap jammed on his head.

He looked distastefully down at his clothes and remarked, “I think my stylist would murder me if she ever saw me like this.”

Hesitantly at first, but the more boldly with the crowd acting as a cloak, hiding them from the rest of the world, Kyu leaned up and kissed Siwon. “I picked out the ugliest clothing I could find for a reason,” she said, kissing him again, and he realized this was the first time she’d made the first move, or been so bold.

“And what’s that reason,” he asked, taking her bag, along with his own, and starting them towards the center of the market.

“Because,” she told him emphatically, “no one would ever believe for a second that a member of Super Junior would be caught dead wearing these clothes. No one is going to look twice at you now.”

“Fair enough,” Siwon agreed, but he had a feeling he’d endure any discomfort for her.

It had been forever since Siwon had been to the market, too long, but a few minutes with Kyu and he was starting to remember why it was his favorite place to escape to. No one paid him any attention, there were too many people for him to be singled out, and he could go anywhere and do anything.

“I have to bring Minho here,” Kyu said, eyes darting around everywhere. “He’ll love how bright and loud it is.”

Siwon frowned. “Minho?”

Kyu gave him a playful smack and said, “Don’t even think it. Minho is a kid. I mean, he’s my friend, but he’s still in high school. And I’d never agreed to go out on a date with him. He’s practically my kid brother.”

“You barely agreed to a date with me,” Siwon pointed out his fingers at her waist. Every time she twisted around to look at something, the shirt and hoodie she wore threatened to ride up and expose skin. But he kept his composure and his hands steady.

“My point is,” she continued, “I should bring him here. Changmin would hate it. Jonghyun would get bored if you can believe it. But I think Minho would really love this.”

Siwon found himself frowning again. Girls usually surrounded themselves with other girls. But he had to state, “You have a lot of male friends.”

She froze up before him, and might have even stumbled a little. “Is that … abnormal?”

“Unusual,” Siwon said. “Now how about we get you some proper shoes?”

Siwon couldn’t help feeling like a new man when the last of his old clothing, his dress shoes, were gone and packed safely away in a bag, and he was wearing instead comfortable sneakers. In fact, he didn’t even feel like Siwon. Like a member of Super Junior. He just felt like an average, everyday guy, on a date with his girlfriend.

God willing, Kyu would agree to be his girlfriend by the time the night was through.

“Hey!” Kyu called out, pointing a finger sharply and bouncing around in the flats Siwon had bought her to wear, “let’s go there!”

“Okay,” Siwon found himself agreeing immediately. “Sure.”

“This,” Kyu declared, once they were deep into the market’s arcade area, and shooting hoops at a basketball game, “is so awesome.”

Siwon toss a shot off himself, watching the basketball bounce off the rim. Next to him Kyu was making almost all her shots. She seemed to have amazing hand-eye coordination. ‘I guess it is.”

“Three points!”

Siwon wondered if this thing he was feeling with Kyu, went far beyond simple infatuation.

What kind of a girl was she to make him question his ual orientation? The orientation that had taken him years to come to grips with.

“Air hockey!”

Siwon laughed and after basketball, they played air hockey.

“I used to come to arcades all the time with my family,” Kyu said, expertly battering the puck around the glossy surface of the table in front of them. “Before, when my sister and I were younger, we’d beg our dad to take us. Mom never wanted to go, but he usually would. And we’d spend our entire allowance there, and even some of his money. It was great. I hate that we stopped going.”

“Why did you?” Siwon asked.

Kyu shrugged. “Mom got sick, then she got better, but dad wanted to spend all his time with her afterwards, paranoid about her, I guess. And then my sister went to college and she didn’t really have time for me, and then I went to college and I didn’t have time for anything, either. I think it’s just a case of getting older.”

Siwon gave a solemn nod. “When Super Junior were just rookies, we had a grueling schedule. Things are better now, but back then, we barely had time to sleep. We got maybe two or three hours a night, never had enough to eat, and were always stressed about staying on time. It was hard. But once a week, we’d get to do whatever we wanted for a couple of hours. Leeteuk hyung would often take myself and Ryeowook and some of the others to a nearby arcade.”

Her hand stilled above the puck on her serve. “But you stopped going, too?”

These were things Siwon hadn’t thought of in a long while. But they were things that weighed heavily on his mind when he did.

Talking to Kyu about his worries was the easiest thing in the world. She had a calm demeanor when they were being serious, and she always offered logical, insightful advice.

“We got older,” Siwon rationalized. “We really needed each other back then. We weren’t exactly kids, well, Ryeowook was our baby in a lot of ways, but we were still young. We were young and away from our parents and under harsh living conditions. We clung to each other out of necessity. No one wanted to be alone, even if it was suffocating to be around so many people all at once. But as we got older, and got better at managing our schedules, we needed each other less and less.”

Kyu offered, “Sometimes needing and wanting can be the same. You may not physically need your members for support now, but you can still want it, and that can be just as important.”

She knocked the puck to him softly, not at all like she’d done in the past. He’d learned quickly that she was fiercely competitive, and she wouldn’t go easy on him for the sake of his ego.

“I hate that we’ve grown apart,” Siwon said, pushing the puck back languidly. “I know this is something that was bound to happen over time, and I’m not very good at expressing myself with them, but I hate that other than schedules, we don’t spent any time together anymore. We all have different friends and different commitments and it’ll only get worse.”

Kyu stilled the puck with her fingers. “Have you tried talking to your members about any of this?”

Siwon shook his head.

“But they’re your brothers, right?” They’d do anything for you?”

Siwon thought immediately about the way they’d banned together to help him track down Kyu. Ryeowook had been inspirational. Leeteuk had been invaluable. And all the others had played their part. They’d made time for him because they could see how important Kyu was to him, and it had come to easily.

Why had that been easy to pull off, when spending a day with some of them during their breaks and vacations came hard?

“They are family,” Siwon agreed.

“Then speak up.” Kyu hit the puck to him full force, nearly taking out his fingers that were resting nearby. He jumped a bit as she continued, “People are full of miscommunication. And people are naturally hard to deal with. We’re complicated and messy and we hardly make sense. But if these are your brothers, and you feel like something bad is happening between you, then speak up. Say something. Let them know. Call a group meeting, or whatever you guys do.”

“It’s not that easy,” Siwon sighed.

“I don’t know why it wouldn’t be.” She gave him a pointed look. “Trying is the least you can do. Even if nothing changes, or they don’t feel the same, it will mean something that you tried. And it might make you feel better, even if it’s just a little.”

Siwon leaned forward, throwing himself into the game. “You give pretty good advice, Kyu.”

“I’m a miracle worker,” she teased. “And the bill will be in the mail.”

They played almost every game in the arcade after that. Everything from classic pinball machines, to retro fighting games, and the racing types. Siwon ended up properly beat on almost all of them, but it didn’t bother him in the least bit.

“I’m having a great time,” he said when he realized several hours had passed without him noticing. He wasn’t even tired, either, despite the heavy schedule he’d had earlier in the day, and all of the things he knew he had to do in the upcoming one. “It doesn’t even feel like it’s almost two.’

“Is it” she asked, distracted by a nearby vendor who was selling hot, sweet buns.

“You want one?” Siwon asked, already reaching for his wallet. Any other girl would have cited her figure and declined the offer, but Kyu simply held up two fingers, and Siwon bought four total.

They got bottles of juice to go with the sweet buns and took a seat at a nearby table, blending in among the other couples who were there.

“My sister is probably freaking out,” Kyu said, ripping off a piece of the bun and sticking it in . “She didn’t even know I was going out tonight.”

“Did you want to call her? Or leave her a message?”

Kyu shook her head. “I’ll be home soon enough. And even if she is worried, she won’t risk calling our parents and making them worry. They’re on vacation to Japan right now. It’s the first time my dad’s been able to get time off work in a long while.”

Siwon’s heart stuttered. “But there’s still so much we can do.”

Kyu gave him a resigned, sad smile. “We both already know what I’m going to say.”

Siwon shook his head. “We still have time.”

“The men with the cameras didn’t follow us here. And even if they did, we’d have lost them by now. I need to go home, Siwon. It’s time.”

“It’s not!” he said, louder and rougher than he intended. He let out a deep exhale and said, “I don’t understand why you keep pulling away from me. I tell you I like you and I know you like me. I kiss you and you kiss me back. We can talk about anything, it doesn’t feel forced or awkward when we’re not actually talking, and we obviously go well together. I think I steady you a little bit, and you make me more daring. So why are you trying to leave? Why can’t you just be honest with me?’

“Honest?” Kyu cut out a dry laugh. “You have no idea how much I want to be honest with you. You have no clue how much it’s tearing me up to have to … never mind.” Kyu climbed to her feet, reaching for the bag with her dinner clothes in it. “I want to remind you about the deal we had. One dinner, one night. I think I’ve given you more than that. Please leave me alone.”

It didn’t make sense. It made absolutely no sense and Siwon wanted to tear his hair out over her behavior. Why was she running from him? Why was she denying him if she liked him and kissed him and even laughed with him? Why?

She took off into the crowd and for just one minute, Siwon let her go. He wasn’t the type of man to try and force a woman to do anything. He wasn’t the type of man to disrespect a woman’s wishes, either. But the situation with Kyu felt different. There was dishonesty there of some kind, lurking under the surface, acting as the barrier between them. There was some secret, some heavily guarded secret keeping them apart.

Her honey blond hair was getting further and further apart, and if he waited any longer, he’d never see her again. If he let her go completely in this moment, he’d always be living with the lingering doubts that were eating away at him at that moment.

He deserved the truth. He needed it.

“Kyu!”

She had a sizable lead on him and was moving fast, but Siwon’s legs were longer, just barely, and he was faster.

He didn’t catch up to her until they were both out of the market and she was attempting to hail a cab. Siwon reached out for her, pulling her deftly away from the street, and held on harder than he wanted to, but too afraid that if he didn’t, she’d run again.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she demanded, face full of fury.

“Why are you lying to me?” Siwon demanded, his voice deep and full of his own anger.

“Let go of me.” Her eyes narrowed.

“Don’t leave again.”

Kyu gave a particularly vicious tug of her arm and she broke free, taking several steps back from him. “What’s your problem? You think you can just grab people however you want?”

He was apologetic, but he couldn’t bring himself to get the words out. Instead all he could say was, “I have been nothing but friendly and kind and attentive and maybe even adoring to you. I have told you time and time again that I like you. I want to show you the world, Kyu, and I know you want everything I have to offer, but you keep putting distance between us. You keep pulling away and refusing to give me a straight answer as to why! If you hate me now, fine! If you want nothing to do with me, fine! If you plan to go straight to the police department and file a report against me, that’s fine, too! But you will tell me the truth. You will tell me why you refuse to be with me. You have to. Please.” His anger was fading into sadness quickly. “Please, Kyu. Please. I have to know. I deserve to be told why.”

“You think you do,” she snapped back. “But you have no idea what’s going on!”

“Then tell me,” he begged, and then he was falling to his knees. “Tell me why you won’t be with me. Tell me why you won’t even try.”

“Because!” she exploded. “Because none of your business!”

Siwon’s eyes fell to the ground in front of them. “I have never begged for anything in my life like this, Kyu. It hurts my pride as a man. But for you, it’s nothing but a burden I bear willingly.”

“Siwon.” She put a gentle hand on the top of his head. “The truth isn’t something I’m keeping from you to hurt you. It’s the opposite.”

“You’re hurting me now.”

“Things would never be the same again. You would never be the same.”

“I don’t care,” he pleaded. “Just tell me.”

He was convinced, absolutely convinced that she would walk away. There were cabs zipping by them now and all she had to do was raise one arm and she’d be able to escape him. It was seemingly all she wanted to do.

“Let me tell you a story,” she said in a quiet voice, surprising him. “About a boy who never knew how to say no to a dare, because his pride was too big, and how he thought he was so clever all the time, and dragged his friends into situations that they shouldn’t have had to put up with.”

“Huh?” he raised his eyes to her face.

She cleared . “This boy, the one with too much pride, was dared to do something that he was ashamed to be seen doing. So he decided to dress up as a girl to blend in and win the bet. But he ended up in a situation that spiraled out of control. And he met the person that he’d admired and practically been in love with for years. A crush that he’d hidden from everyone, even his best friends.”

Some horrible, heavy dread was starting to sink into Siwon’s stomach.

“And surprise,” Kyu said, “the crush liked this boy back. But he liked the boy because he thought she was a girl. And the boy, pretending to be a girl, was weak willed. He couldn’t say no to the crush, no matter how hard he tried. Because for once, just once, the boy wanted to be loved by someone who mattered to him. So ultimately the boy was just a liar, and maybe his crush was just a fool, but they both ended up hurt, and it was only the boy’s fault. The boy with too much pride.”

Was Kyu saying … was she …

“My name isn’t Kyungji,” she said, reaching out to stop a cab. With a deep, regretful kind of bow, Siwon watched her reach up and pull at her hair. Hair that was clearly now a wig that rested in her hands, revealing short, curly, chestnut colored hair that made all the difference in the world. “My name is Kyuhyun and I’ve been lying to you about being a girl, Siwon, because I like you, and I just wanted you to like me back.”

The world was going numb around Siwon.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” she … he said, his eyes telling Siwon that he meant every word deeply. “I just wanted …” he cut off suddenly, pulling open the cab’s door. “I’m so very deeply sorry I hurt you, Siwon. Please don’t think any of this was your fault. Please don’t blame yourself. Just blame me, because I’m selfish and prideful and a horrible person. I’m sorry.”

Siwon climbed to his feet shakily as he watched Kyu … Kyuhyun, slide into the cab.

“I’m sorry,” Kyuhyun called out one last time, one hand pressed against the glass of the door’s window, his words muffled by the shut door. “I’m so sorry.”

He watched Kyuhyun ride away in the back of a cab just as another crackle of thunder sounded over his head. In the distance the partially exposed market was hurrying to shut down before the next downpour, and the previously clear sky was cloudy again.

All the while Siwon stood there, trying to digest the fact that Kyungji had been Kyuhyun. She … he had been lying to Siwon the whole time. Siwon felt like the fool Kyuhyun thought he was.

How had the missed the signs? How had he been so blind?

How …

The clouds opened up above him and rain began to pour again. Siwon simply stood there, head tipping back a little, getting absolutely soaked.

He didn’t know what to think now. He certainly didn’t know what to do.

He only knew that no matter what, Kyungji was gone forever. And he’d never see her again. She was as good as dead to him.