Finale.
Pandemonium.
Her left hands that was aiming the sword quivered at her tight hold, her face remained stoic but her eyes speaks a million words. Words that the person in front of her couldn’t comprehend. A look of longing and guilt pooled her eyes. She was sorry, that the only mercy she could give him was his death by her hands. Death is mercy. And in this cruel world, it would be better dead than suffer the everyday life trying to survive within the walls of the corrupt society.
She was sorry, but she was meant to do this. She could have lessen his pain. She could have killed him without his knowing, without showing her face to him. He doesn’t know her, but she does, very well. And that is the reason why she has to do this. The man in front of her whose face is painted with confusion, and fear. He did not do anything wrong but he has to die, or so he thinks. But he never did. It was her. It was all her fault.
She should have tried harder. Tried harder to protect him, covered him up. Maybe even frame someone, she has the power to do that. She could have payed a hefty price to hide his connection to her. But she didn’t, because she’s a coward. And now she has to pay the price.
She loved him. So much, maybe even too much. To love is to destroy, as they say. Her anonymous letters to him was the only normal thing that happened in her life. Her naiveness was strange to the people around her. Love was a foreign feeling in this society and her little crush for him was peculiar. People knew about it, but he never did. Because she knew that associating her life with him would be her downfall. He’s her weakness. She follows him like a lost puppy, like a chick to mother hen. Her naive world revolved around him. It was her most precious innocent days before everything turned hell for her. Before she became the candidate, the heiress. But as the ace of spades represents power, it is also a death card. Perhaps, this is the price?
She didn’t say a single word, not even mouthing an apology. She raised the sword and slit his chest, blood splattered on her face. His blood, staining her once angelic face. Her shaking hands dropped the bloodied sword on the floor. She wanted to cry. She wanted to run to his hand and hold him. She wanted to apologize because she had to do what she must do. But she couldn’t. Not when the person who turned her into this monster is now clapping and praising her for improving her higher chance of winning the throne.
She cannot look at him. His dead body lying on the floor, swimming in his own pool of blood. No, she cannot bear the sight of her beloved who died by her hands. She cannot bear his blood on her. His death weighing on her like a rock tied to her feet. Without sparing a glance, she left the room, her head kept high as if nothing happened. A facade of cold-blooded merciless king plastered on her face, a look she’d already mastered.
3 Years Later.
“Kings in this world should imitate God, their mercy should be above their works.”
She had fulfilled her dream. She had become the ruler of the world. A King. A god-like portrayal to the people who had long lost its God.
Time had changed her. Her once facade became her real identity. A cold-blooded merciless King.
She had tried to change the world, but the world had changed her, instead. A single person cannot force the world to be better, the world has to change themselves for the better. But the world had been a hellish place for a long time. It was already too deep in hell to change anything. But she only had one hope.
“What do you plan on doing?” her eunuch inquired.
“I don’t know.” she was tired. Physically and mentally tired, the ghost of the past still haunts her. Preventing her to sleep in peace every night.
“He remembers everything now.”
“Then we’ll just have to face it.”
The sounds of the ships ready to be boarded can be heard loudly all over the pier. Passengers bustling around to catch up on their flight would bump onto her occasionally. Some would rudely glare at her for standing on their way then continue running for their schedules.
Her heart that was numbed for a long time started fluttering again. As if her entire being had been revived. Her soul reborn and her innocent, naive self was back again. She doesn’t know what to do. She’d never plan anything. She only thought of facing the consequences but never went farther than that. And now that she’s here, she starts to tremble in fear. A horrors of the past glued her on the ground. She cannot forgive herself, and she hopes he does not as well.
She walked towards him only to stop an inch behind. He had gotten a little older, his face thinner and his skin darker. But he was still the same. The same person that made her heart flutter. The same person that made her feel human. That person.
"Jinki..."
He turned around to face her, his poker face stared back at her perfectly stoic face. But like before, her eyes expressed a thousand of emotion. Emotions that her face cannot show because it had been trained not to. They didn’t say any word to each other. They just stared at each other’s eyes that seems to communicate.
“Why did you do it?” he finally spoke.
“Because I had to.” her voice, like her eyes expresses all the emotions her face cannot show.
“Then why did you save me?”
“I had to kill you because you’re my weakness. A hindrance. But as you are my weakness, I cannot let you die.”
Her stoic face finally showed a hint of expression, tears rolled of her cheeks.
“But why?” he asked, his eyes starting to water. He does not understand her motive. He does not understand her reasoning. But he can feel her endless grief. And it confused him even more.
“Leave and live. Go to a place where you can live a peaceful life. A life without all of these pains. Find that paradise and live. Live happily and die again happily.”
She wiped the last tear streamed down her face and once again, her face went back to being empty and emotionless.
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