(Here's the song link if you'd like it ^_^   Avenue Q: If You Were Gay ) Enjoy the randomness!           

                  Ah…Mark loved days off where he could just laze around all day with his favorite book. It was his absolute favorite thing to do and it wasn’t very often that the occasion occurred when he could. His roommate wasn’t home to bother him, and he had the apartment all to himself. How could it get any better than this? The slamming of the front door had him groaning. Perfect day: ruined.

“Oh, hi Mark!” Jackson called out as he stepped into the living room where Mark was currently laid out on the couch, book in hand.

“Hi Jackson.” Mark muttered darkly, wondering what god he’d pissed off for his day to be ruined mid-way with the arrival of his energetic best friend. It had been going so well too… Mark went back to his book, hoping that by ignoring Jackson, the younger would get the hint and leave him alone.

“Hey Mark. You’ll never guess what happened to me on the subway this morning.” Jackson said with enthusiasm, pushing Mark’s legs off the couch and sitting there. With that one sentence, Mark’s dreams of solitude were undeniably crushed. He continued to ignore Jackson, but the boy just kept on talking, used to the treatment. “This guy was smiling at me and talking to me,” Jackson said, turning his body towards Mark. Mark simply sighed, figuring that his solitude was now officially a thing of the past. Might as well give the illusion of giving a damn…

“Uh huh, that’s very interesting,” He said sarcastically, but Jackson just kept on going, the sarcasm lost on him.

“He was being real friendly! I-I think that he was coming on to me!” Jackson said, his voice going up in pitch before lowering dramatically. “I think he might have thought that I was gay.” The amusement in Jackson’s voice had Mark’s hackles rising.

“Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don’t care.” Mark spat out before trying to redirect the conversation in a new direction, non-chalantly of course. “What’d you have for lunch today?”

“Oh, you don’t have to get all defensive about it.” Jackson said with a pout.

“I’m NOT getting defensive about it!” Mark shouted, taking some calming breaths before continuing on. “What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I’m trying to read.” He really hoped the younger would drop this topic now, but alas, luck was not on his side today.

“Oh…well I didn’t mean anything by it Mark. I just think that it’s something that we should be able to talk about.” Jackson said calmly, as if trying to remedy the situation.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Jacks. This conversation is over.” Mark said with finality. But Jackson was not one to give up once he’d found a subject that he could sink his teeth into.

“Yeah, but Mark-” He started before getting cut off abruptly.

“OVER!!” Mark shouted, making Jackson sigh heavily.

“Well okay… but just so you know,” Jackson said, his voice going sing-song-like at the end. Oh god… “If you were gay, that’d be okay. I mean cause hey, I’d like you anyway!” Mark’s mouth dropped, not believing that this could possibly be happening to him. Jackson ignored his look though and kept on going. “Because you see, if it were me, I would feel free to say that I was gay.” Jackson’s voice dropped as he looked Mark in the eye. “But I’m not gay.” Mark rolled his eyes, wondering how his life just turned into a musical number, the younger serenading him with stupidity.

“Jackson, please! I am trying to read.” Mark said exasperated, his friend just staring at him silently for moments on end until Mark couldn’t take it anymore. “WHAT?!”

“If you were queer,”

“Ah, Jackson!” Mark groaned, just wishing for the other to shut up.

“I’d still be here.” Jackson continued as if Mark hadn’t even spoken.

“Jackson, I am trying to read this book.” Mark pointed out, before being ignored once more.

“Year after year,” Jackson sang, ignoring Mark yelling his name. “Because you’re dear to me.” Mark groaned out loud, not having enough words to describe his level of exasperation. “And I know that you,”

“What?” Mark growled out.

“Would accept me to.” Jackson said with a twinkle in his eye.

“I would?” Mark asked incredulously.

“If I told you today, ‘Hey guess what? I’m gay!’, but I’m not gay.” Mark wanted nothing more than to run off into his bedroom and escape the younger’s antics but Jackson was singing again before he could even move an inch off the couch. “I’m happy, just being with you!” Mark had to give a small smile at that sentence, a warm feeling spreading over him.

“So, what should it matter to me, what you do in bed with guys?” Mark’s face flushed with embarrassment. He should have known Jackson would ruin the moment.

“Jackson that it wrong!” He said, his voice muffled by his hands that were currently hiding it.

“No it’s not!” Jackson said, standing up in his outrage. “If you were gay, I’d shout ‘Hooray!’” The younger’s arms flung out as he shouted the last word.

“I am not listening!” Mark said, lodging his index fingers into his ears.

“And here I’d stay.”

“La la la la la!” Mark shouted, doing his best to drown out the other with disappointing results.

“But I wouldn’t get in your way.” Jackson said, making Mark scream in frustration. “You can count on me, to always be, beside you every day, to tell you it’s ok, you were just born that way. And as they say it’s in your DNA, you’re gay!” At the end of the sentence, Jackson flung his hands out, employing jazz hands that made Mark want to bang his head against the nearby coffee table.

“I AM NOT GAY!!” Mark yelled, standing front the couch to stalk to his room. Before he slammed the door, he heard Jackson yell out one last time, “If you were gay,” making him scream once more before opening the door again and yelling at Jackson,

“And you’re not allowed to go to those goddamn Broadway musical classes anymore!”