I know that I'm not fine
Pain behind a song"I'm hurt too hyung. I'm hurt not just because of some words or someone hitting her like in her made up story, but I'm hurt because I lost parts of me that can never be repaired. "
White.
That’s all he had been seeing for the past weeks.
It was always like this.
He would get better only to come back even more broken. He had a taste of happiness which made him fall harder each time he broke down. Sehun just wanted to be free. He wanted to get over this darkness but at the same time didn’t have any will to fight anymore. He just wanted some end.
After his encounter with Taeyeon he could help but feel more hopeless. No matter where he went his past and fears seemed to haunt him.
Now he think that he was a monster, he knew he was a monster. He let Eunbyul die, he pushed her over the edge. He always ended up hurting the people who got close to her. Eunbyul was the first, and now he was hurting EXO. If Taeyeon knew then she would probably tell everyone at SM. Then they would all know he was a monster. All the people he respected and looked up to would finally see the truth and hate him, if they already didn’t.
He couldn’t believe it. Why was he cursed this way? Would he always be haunted by his imperfections.
He couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t pretend he was strong and he couldn’t pretend he was fine. He couldn’t pretend that his life was worth living. His home now was basically the hospital room.
Sehun heard the door open and looked at the entrance.
“Sehun, how are you doing,” asked Chen in a worried voice. It seem like a silly question given that Sehun was in the hospital.
“I’m fine,” said Sehun in a soft voice.
“Why?” asked Kris. He was the brave one to ask the question that had been on everyone’s mind.
“It’s nothing. I don’t know what came over me-” Sehun started to explain when a loud ring was heard.
“Oh sorry, that’s my phone. Excuse me I’ll be right back I just have to answer this,” said Baekhyun as he left.
“You were saying?” said Luhan.
“I don’t know what came over me. I’m still trying to recover and I guess I don’t have full control of my thoughts yet,” replied Sehun. Everyone could tell he was shielding his true emotions by answering vaguely but no one knew how to get him to say the truth.
“Sehun come on please answer us truthfully we just want to help” probed Chanyeol.
“I did answer truthfully, do you not believe me?” asked Sehun in a slightly irritated voice.
“We want to believe you but how can we? Last time you said you were fine and look! We’re back in the hospital waiting fo
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