And So I Love You

Love is wonderful, Baekhyun thinks as he stares adoringly at Sehun while the younger laughs and communicates with their fans. These feelings within him are unexplainable with words and there is an urge to scream it out for the world to know how happy he is. So he laughs along with the maknae, unable to keep his eyes off the youngest member as he does. Sehun is so beautiful laughing the way he does and Baekhyun wants to kiss him and tell him just that. But that would have to wait until later, when they’re all behind closed doors of their hotel rooms and Sehun would hold him in his arms.

Chanyeol questioned him once not too long ago, how Baekhyun could handle Sehun’s tendency to not reciprocate to his public actions. His answer was that it doesn’t really matter that Sehun doesn’t respond much, that it only matters how he whispers words of love into Baekhyun’s ear and how he holds Baekhyun in his arms so close at night. He notices, however, the way Chanyeol’s gaze fleetingly meets Jongin and Baekhyun wishes Jongin would open his eyes one day and love Chanyeol the way Chanyeol had always loved him. Love is wonderful, and Baekhyun wants Chanyeol to think so too.

Baekhyun thinks nothing could actually make him happier than he already is. Sure, there had been hardships his whole group had to face and there were things that had made him cry but Baekhyun wouldn’t complain for the pleasure life has given him, the experiences that made him wiser and the people he was given the chance to love. Baekhyun loves his life and he was more than sure that nothing could make him any happier. But in loving Sehun, and being loved by him, surprises happen.

It’s a schedule-free day for the boys and everyone is out doing different things, leaving only Sehun, Baekhyun and Jongin in the dorm. Chanyeol had gone to join Kyungsoo and Jongdae for dinner while Joonmyeon, Minseok and Yixing left for a little shopping. Jongin and Sehun complained about having no food for dinner, forcing Baekhyun out of the dorm to get some Chinese take-outs. He takes his time to do just that, slightly annoyed that Sehun had joined in with Jongin on making him go out instead of asking Jongin to go. The two maknaes even cuddled, adding on to Baekhyun’s fuel.

In his slightly jealous-state, Baekhyun blames it fully on how Sehun isn’t being nice and got the two boys something they actually don’t really like, knowing they would have to eat it anyway because of their growling stomachs. It is only when he nears the dorm that Baekhyun feels a little guilty because Sehun could get really stubborn and will refuse to eat something he doesn’t like and Jongin would eat it anyway but he could get a little sick. Baekhyun purses his lips and considers turning back but it is getting late and he doesn’t have all night to spend with Sehun. Sighing, he stops by a food stall and got two more meals for the boys, just a little annoyed at himself.

When he reaches the dorm, the living hall is empty and silent. He frowns when he fails to find Jongin and Sehun on the couch where he had left them, feeling odd that the lights have been turned off except the little torchlight left on the table. Placing the packets of food on the table, Baekhyun finds a small piece of paper just next to the torchlight. He quirks a brow at the messy handwriting on the paper, a tiny note of Sehun’s unmistakable handwriting that says ‘Go to the place where we first cuddled.’

Unable to help the smile that immediately forms on his lips, Baekhyun lifts his gaze to the room he had once shared with Sehun a couple years back, where he had held the young boy when he was a little ill and those tiny, fleeting feelings began. Holding the note in one hand, Baekhyun makes his way towards the said room, smiling wider when he finds another note stuck on the door of the room. This time the note is a little longer and it says ‘I still remember the night you cuddled me like it was yesterday. So warm, so nice. Thank you for that night. Next: where did we first kiss?’

Baekhyun wants to giggle but he manages to hold it in, taking the note off the door and proceeding towards the kitchen, where Sehun had caught him by his wrist one Sunday morning back in 2012 and kissed him full on his lips. Cheeks beginning to hurt from his grinning, Baekhyun reaches the kitchen and looks around, finding the next note on the fridge door. Sehun’s handwriting is almost like a scribble now, as if he had been too excited when he was writing it. Baekhyun takes it off and reads it a little louder; ‘I remember wanting to kiss you for a long time and when I finally did, you taste like fireworks on my tongue. Amazing, amazing, amazing. Next stop: where we first had our fight :( ’

A distinct memory of their first major fight flashes across Baekhyun’s mind, smile faltering for he had been so afraid and had cried a little more than he would like. He turns his head for his gaze to meet the balcony, where Sehun had stood with his back facing Baekhyun and speaking as if he was tired of the relationship, made Baekhyun cry only to hold him just a little tighter that night. Releasing the breath he didn’t know he was holding, Baekhyun begins the little walk towards the balcony. His eyes first find the note on the coffee table, smiling anyway as he reaches out to take it. It reads just a simple ‘I love you’ and nothing else, causing his brows to furrow just a little, slightly confused.

He startles with a yelp when a pair of arms wrap around his torso from behind, relaxing only when he feels Sehun’s hot breath against the shell of his ear. Smiling even wider, Baekhyun turns in Sehun’s arms to face him, hand finding a place to rest on the side of Sehun’s face. The younger looks absolutely stunning, for someone with only just a plain white-tee and sweatpants on. Sehun leans down to place a soft peck on his nose and Baekhyun couldn’t bite back the chuckle, waving the notes at Sehun.

“What is this about, hm?” He asks in a soft voice, raising a brow at the younger as Sehun’s arms stayed around his waist. He fights the urge to kiss his boyfriend, wants to hear his answer first.

Sehun hums and takes the notes from Baekhyun’s hand, placing them on the coffee table wordlessly before backing the older against the railing of the balcony. There’s a tiny smile on his lips, the kind that he usually wears whenever Baekhyun shows his affection in public (the kind that Baekhyun loves most) before he speaks. “When we first fought, why did you cry, hyung?”

Baekhyun frowns, but not losing his smile completely. “Because I was afraid we were going to break up. You weren’t really nice, you know? Talking about moving on and such.”

Chuckling softly, Sehun nuzzles their noses together. “If we fight again now, if I speak of the things I did back then, are you going to cry for the same reason, hyung?”

Just slightly worried where this will lead to, Baekhyun’s voice grew a tad bit softer. “Yes.”

Sehun loses the smile and the arms around Baekhyun disappear. “I’m sorry that I made you cry that first time. I wish I hadn’t, because out of the many things I want, making you cry was never one of it. But I did and then I do it again and again. And then at some point, I was afraid that I could only make you cry. I was scared that I couldn’t make you happy anymore.”

“Sehun…” Baekhyun interrupts but Sehun only shakes his head to say he isn’t finished.

“I want to make you happy. And I’ve been trying to. I love you, Baekhyun hyung. I love you so much, sometimes I think it’s impossible for someone to love a person as much as I love you, as much as you love me.” Sehun chuckles dryly, looking just slightly nervous. “I’ve also tried to respond to you when in front of our fans but I can’t help being a little shy. I want to keep you to myself but I also want to show you off to the world. I’m pretty complicated, aren’t I?”

Baekhyun lets out his own chuckle, thumb grazing along the line that scarred Sehun’s cheek. “You’re silly. But your complications are what I love most about you. Seriously, though, pabo, what is this about? I don’t think it’s our monthsary, is it? Did I forget?”

“I’m getting there, hyung,” Sehun laughs nervously, clearing his throat as he takes one of Baekhyun’s hands to kiss his knuckles. “Okay, I’ve thought about this for quite a while. And I really, really want this so… I really hope you do too. I love you.”

Even more confused now, Baekhyun could only respond with a soft “I love you, too.” He watches with furrowed brows as Sehun fidgets and doesn’t let go of his hand, heart pounding against his chest. He gasps, however, when Sehun got down onto one knee, using his other hand to cover his mouth. Baekhyun couldn’t breathe, but he also couldn’t do anything else but watch as Sehun takes a tiny box out of his pocket, letting go of Baekhyun’s hand only to present the silver band in the box.

“I promise to love you better, to hold you closer and be the best for us both in the future. Because I love you and I want to spend my life with you. Byun Baekhyun, will you do the honour of marrying me?”

Baekhyun could feel tears prick at his eyes as his cheeks burn and his chest ached from how his heart races against it. He takes a long while to process what Sehun had just asked, uncovering his mouth to release the sob that he had been holding in. He wipes hastily at the tears that fell down his cheeks, nodding his head aggressively for he couldn’t find the words. “Yes. Yes, I will marry you, Sehun.”

The look on Sehun’s face is one of pure happiness, the raw emotions playing within his eyes making Baekhyun all the more emotional. The younger of the two gets back onto his feet, taking the silver band out of the box to slowly slip it to Baekhyun’s ring finger. Baekhyun sobs once again before wrapping his arms around Sehun’s neck, crying freely as he chants a series of ‘yes, yes, and yes’.

Sehun finally kisses Baekhyun as soon as the older pulls back a little to meet Sehun’s eyes. They kissed like the first and the last time and Baekhyun thinks love tastes just like this, just like Sehun. Nothing could make him happier, he had thought but this happiness makes him cry and it will continue to.

“It was actually my creativity,” Jongin is saying as he sits himself next to Chanyeol, a smug look on his face. They’re seated around the table at a local diner, a dinner to celebrate Sehun and Baekhyun’s engagement with the story of how they’re ‘just spending quality time together’ to cover the questions people will ask. Jongin continues, “I made Sehun pay me so he could use the idea.”

Baekhyun laughs as his fiancé rolls his eyes, seated next to each other. Sehun only sighs and looking stoic as always, only sips at his drink. Baekhyun hooks an arm over Sehun’s, voice teasing. “I gotta say it didn’t surprise me that it wasn’t his own idea. We all know Sehun isn’t one for creativity.”

That earns himself a playful pinch to his side and a pouting Sehun, a sight the whole group cooed at. Chanyeol laughs and shakes his head, “I thought it was pretty lame.”

“Yeah, me too, actually.” Jongdae and Kyungsoo agree.

Baekhyun scoffs, clinging tighter to Sehun. “It’s still sweet, and romantic and I love it. I love you.” They smile at each other, lost in their own world for a little while before Joonmyeon clears his throat and brought their attention back to the matter. Baekhyun could hear Jongin and Chanyeol making gagging noises while Minseok and Yixing laugh. Jongdae complains about having to see this often.

“Anyway,” Joonmyeon says, raising his glass of champagne. “A toast?”

The group cheers and raised their own glasses. Baekhyun raises his without letting go of Sehun’s arm, pressing himself even closer to his fiancé. Joonmyeon says his firsts words in a whisper before it grew louder for the remaining words. “To Sehun and Baekhyun’s long lasting marriage, and of course, EXO’s bright future!”

It is in this moment that Baekhyun steals a kiss from Sehun’s lips, whispers ‘I love you’ so soft only for Sehun to hear. The younger smiles at him, squeezes his hand and mouths ‘Always and forever’, promises they have made since the beginning. Baekhyun smiles a little wider; he had never been happier.

A/N: I miss writing sebaek so much ;;