He doesn't know how he got here. Sitting on the kitchen floor, surrounded by broken dishware, sobbing and wishing and willing whatever god was out there to rewind the time back to when it was only the two of them.

Taemin thinks back to when they first got the set. It was a wedding gift, his personal favorite. Merely because of the way Jongin wrapped his arms around Taemin's waist and kissed his neck from behind, looking on fondly as Taemin oooh'd at the pretty mocha-colored plates, (he was glad Kibum knew him well enough to not buy anything obnoxiously colorful) trying to get them out of the box without breaking anything.

Things were good then. But it's okay, he reassures himself- has to reassure himself, because things are still good now. Taemin and Jongin will always be good.

Taemin's calmed down a bit after reminiscing. He's begun cleaning up all the little bits and pieces of glass. If only it were that easy to clean up their relationship, he quickly thinks before pushing the thought aside. (he's being ridiculous, there isn't anything fix between them. they're just as in love as when they first met.)

As ty as Taemin's memory is, he doesn't think he'll ever forget that day. He was on his way to the city to pick up the newest One Piece volume, though now he doesn't even remember what it was about.

Everything else about that day was a blur except jonginjonginjongin. Jongin and the red scarf he wore (a cute contrast to his own green one, taemin thought at the time,) his sleepy eyes and warm gaze and everything else.

When Jongin first got on the bus (it was bus #1. he wouldn't forget that either) Taemin tried not to stare, glancing at him and quickly looking away, suddenly immersed in thoughts.

Jongin stood beside him and Taemin remembers hoping (praying) the man next to him wouldn't somehow have supersonic hearing and be able to hear his heart pounding. Because come on, is it really that impossible that someone as hot as Jongin could be a superhero? Amidst his musings (would jongin wear tights while saving the world? would he look hot in the tights? yeah, he probably would) Taemin registered the words "good morning" with a jolt-- could that voice really be talking to him?

No, impossible, he was imagining it. His mind acts up sometimes. Taemin recalls the next part with a smile gracing his lips (jongin says his smile is incandescent-- could probably illuminate the entire world. in fact, he said it would make the aliens suspicious and bring them to earth to investigate.) after (accidentally!) ignoring the scarf guy Taemin felt warmth flooding into his cold hand, he jerked his head down to see the pretty pretty sleepy boy squeezing his hand.

Everything that came after was like a movie. The kind he and Jongin would make fun of while Jongin languidly ran his fingers through Taemin's hair.

"It must be one of those days." Taemin mutters, because now he's thinking back to their first date. When Jongin was telling him about the different pivots and forms and twists in ballet and the time he cried after accidentally putting nail polish on his lips (his beautiful, beautiful lips) and the way his eyes lit up and his hands unknowingly animated every single one of his words and the sound of his warm, cozy voice.

Taemin thinks, no, Taemin knows Jongin captured his heart the moment he told him he never wastes his words.

At this point, Taemin has settled on making himself a coffee. He could use something warm, like he's noticed Jongin's gaze has become over the years. Warmer and softer-- Taemin's heart squeezes painfully.

He'd rather think about the time Jongin told his parents about their relationship, the fierce look in his boyfriend's eyes when he told his mother that he would do and give anything to be with Taemin. Taemin could still see the vulnerability behind the tough boy façade. Jongin had always been soft, it's part of why Taemin loves (loved?) him.

"Why isn't he home yet?" Taemin whispers defeatedly to his cooling cup of coffee. His heart sinks a bit when memories of last week resurface and cloud his mind.

They had gone on a double date with Jongin's friend and his girlfriend (what was her name?) The way Jongin- his Jongin looked at that boy, Sehun (that name won't leave his head. why won't it leave?) haunted him. He let out a tired sigh, the comforting smell of cinnamon invaded his senses (he puts cinnamon in everything, it reminds him of jongin)

"He's just late from work," he whispers to the mug, "everything is okay between us. We'll always be okay."

-----

a/n

wow ok im sorry if this is bad?? this is my first fic ever ;___; i based this off a russian song (маршрутка - IOWA) bc at first it seemed like a cute love story but then when i payed attention to the lyrics like no?? it's so depressing goodbye

sorry for the angst ): i live for taekai's happiness but idk how to deliver. also sorry for the really bad description?? i didn't know what to write

thank you for reading~ ;^;