“Why are you crying ? Im not gonna die yet ..”

I chuckled then I turn my head on them.

They were all watching me packing my clothes in my pink-cat printed bag.

Folding my clothes, and leaving my favorite clothes on my cabinet.

Holding their hanker chiefs and wiping their tears.

Sniffing and sobbing in front of me.

Kyuhyun, my evil sidekick, who always helping me to do evil things to my brothers.

Is crying. He’s like a child that lost a balloon. He’s a very cute dongsaeng. I will miss him.

Ryeowook, a very sweet dongsaeng. And my favorite dongsaeng, who’s good at cooking and teaching me how to cook.
Even though Im a failure of it. He’s sad.
His eyes are tearing while giving the food he made for me. I will miss him and his foods.

Kibum, the one who leave his current work to be here. To see him. Hahaha. Its a unreasonable thing !
But, I understand him why he's hiatus on SJ. But, whatever his decision he make. I will support him as a hyung.
I hope I can be with him with a another drama. He's really fun to be with. I dont know if he's crying. It doesn't matter. I dont see him sad because of me.

I'll miss him..

Siwon, my lovable dongsaeng. I love him. Yes, very much. Even though he’s too much in skinship. Even though he’s convincing to go to the church with him someday, and I keep on rejecting him. I know that he cares for me. I will miss him.

Donghae, ah. My sweet brother. The childish member of Super Junior. He acts like a child, eat like a child, and dance like a child. And he’s the King of Tears.

Now, he’s crying. Like a kid lose his candy because someone took it. Good thing, I have a choco bar in my bag, and gave it to him. He smiled, he wipe his tears and thanked me.

I will surely miss this kid.

Hyukjae, the best dancer in the whole world. And the Most Handsome Monkey.

The white haired monkey guy who I always play on prank. I am thankful that he didn’t hate me even though I keep on making fun of him. My mind is safe because there will be someone who will take care of Donghae while Im gone. I guess Hyukjae will be a good lover to Donghae. I will miss him too.

Sungmin, the guy who can’t move. Like a jpg file and a guy that have flabby arms.

I will surely miss his M-Shape lips I kissed, and his childish voice.

I know that he’s a type of guy that easily to cry. Instead, he keeps on wearing his glasses.

I guess, … behind those lens, his eyes are tearing. I know he’s crying. He crossed his arms and turned his head back. I will miss him.

Shindong, ah !! My piggy teddy bear brother ! My very bestfriend !

He’s the type of guy who’s always heard some negative comments for himself and keeps on believing on himself. I love the way he is. I don’t care if he’s a fat guy or etc.

I love him. And Im proud of him. I will miss him.

I glance at the cabinet.

And saw a picture of me and Kangin.

Smiling. It was the day that were on the filming of SJ Full House.

Just two of us.

Oh Youngwoon, the strong man alive. And lover of Teuk.

The bravest and strongest member of Super Junior. And one of my favorite member.

Youngwoon is very kind guy. Though, very tough. I like the way he is.

Even though he cried when he left Teukie for his military life.

But Next year, He will back to the group. I am so proud of him.

And I already miss him.

Jongwoon, aish. This guy. Who always wants to touch my philtrum. And  very special brother. My day was special when I visited his parent’s café shop. Jongjin, is a very nice guy. Like his brother. I have nothing to say to Jongwoon, he’s nice to me. I don’t have to criticize him because I love him. Ryeowook must be lucky to have a lover like him.

A very sweet…. And weird. I will miss him.

Jungsoo. My best friend. The leader of our group. My fellow 83 Liner.

And my brother. He’s a one-of-a-kind and the best leader in the world.

Who is crying infront of me, showing his crying face infront of me.

Like a lost child and looking for his mother. Sniffing and sobbing. Like in the Inkigayo.

I know he will miss me. And I will miss him too.

Very much.

They are bunch of kids. Crying on small things.

I don’t get it why are they crying.

Its not like Im gonna die or something ..

“Teukie, Im not gonna die.”

“But I feel like Im dying… ”

Leeteuk said, as he sobbing. Siwon was beside him.

Siwon is guiding him, sniffing either.

I noticed something on Jungsoo’s cry.

It was different. Yes. It not like the same as Kangin leave the group for the military.

Then there’s Kyuhyun, he hugged me when he’s still crying.

I saw, Donghae crying while Hyukjae is hugging him.

Sobbing like a real baby. Its annoying but its cute.

I went to him and pat Hyuk's head.

"Hyuk .. Protect Hae while Im gone..."

Hyukjae nods.

"I'll rip all your dvds if you made him cry .."

I added, Hyukjae was surprised. And nods again.

Donghae continues to cry.

Whenever I look at them,.. I'll cry too..

I really don’t get it. Why are they crying like this.

I hate this feeling. Its just too painful to see.

“You guys making me cry you know..”

I cover my eyes, and smiled.

Because my eyes are starting to tear up. Its all their fault.

Then they start hugging me. It’s a group hug.

Ahh. Then my tears finally fall.

I can’t help it. This is very hard. The thing that I cannot do in life is to leave my family.

And leave my brothers. Im not used. Im not used to leave them for 23 months.

I can’t even touch my twitter account.

I cant even touch my phone for communications.

They made me cry. I will never forget this hug. This hug will remains on my heart. Forever.

I checked my phone.

Zhou Mi and Henry leave a video message.

Zhou Mi message me for better health in the army. Stay cool, stay in good condition.

Then he cried, he cannot continue what he want to say.

The video last for 2 mins. But I expected to be 5 minutes.

While Henry. Who’s currently in the America.

With his pet, Birdie. Sang a song for me.

Good Friends. My favorite song in 5Jib.

His voice is perfect. And he’s terribly cute.

In the end, he cried too. I will surely miss them.

Henry, who is the most youngest member in our group.

He is the cutest. I never forget the day I first pinch his cheeks.

After these years, whenever I saw him. He knows that I will pinch it. Haha.

But he's used to it, and he likes it. Sometimes he'll play a song. Using his violin.

I'll miss him.

Zhou Mi, my Joo Myuk. One of the most nicest member. I love him.

Henry and him were so strong. ELFs used to the haters because of them.

But they became strong and continue to work hard. Zhou Mi is working hard. Making songs, helping us to promote. I'll miss his branded clothes and bags I used to borrow.

I'll miss him.. so much..

There will be a lot of people will miss me.

I hope they will remain healthy until I came back.

Jungmo, my very very bestfriend. The one who can only understand me.

And my fellow member of M&D. He’s awesome, cool as me. And I hope everyone will support him as I do.

My love for girl groups, Sohee, Sulli, SNSD, f(x), BEG, Raina, Wondr Girls and other groups. That I have been supported for the strong years.

I thanked them.

And my fellow brothers in SM Entertainment, SHINee, TVXQ!, TRAX.

I will miss them ..

The day has come.

I can smell the last morning breeze in my face.

And the sunlight of Super Junior dorm.

The swaying trees I can see and the singing birds.

And a loud leader and brothers.

The fan posters and bed who I can see them everyday in my 7 years of living in this dorm.

Will be on hiatus of 2 years.

Serving the community in climates, and for the country.

Holding guns and heavy ones. Going on a training that I will surely get my sweat on my face.

Looking the picture in my wallet.

A perfect and complete group picture of my family.

I closed my eyes and smiled.

Remembering our perfect memories.

Then I stood up and fixed my hair.

I think Jungsoo is calling me.

But my phone ringed. I received a video message.

Its from China. I guess Zhou Mi made another video for me.

So I opened confidently.

I thought it was Zhou Mi. It was Hangeng.

Hangeng, who changed his hair. His life and his body.

But his personality didn’t change. He remains to be nice.

Nice to me and to everyone.

I was shocked, I couldn’t react more.

My hands were trembling. So I seated at my bed and watch him.

He still know how to speak Korean.

But there still words that he forget .

His voice was so precious.

I miss him.

At the first part, he was already crying. I can see his eyes that already wet.

Sniffing while talking.

His message was so precious. He said that he will miss me.

That he will miss my appearance.

And he also miss my kiss, my hand, my face, my voice, my clothes and everything.

Then he prayed for my good health and better future.

And then, … he starting to cry.

Then the video ended. 3:00 straight.

Hankyung …

Hangeng sshi.

the guy I cannot forget.  He’s the reason why I became sad in the year 2010.

The year that he leave SUJU. And the worst thing came to my life.

He was my life, my air, and my heart. And yet.. he leave me.

I am the first guy who kiss him on lips. I am the first guy who hold his hands on public.

I am the first guy I told him I love him. He was my everything. Until now.

I cannot control myself.

I am crying. I want to see Hankyung, so badly.

I cannot speak anymore. It was the luckiest morning in my entire life.

Then Jungsoo opened the door. I guess he heard me crying.

Then the members gathered, and they all saw me crying.

Crying like a child. They were all watching me.

Im like a fool.

But Jungsoo gaved me a hug. A very powerful hug.

A very special hug. It so warm. Like Hankyung.

Then, they all gave me a group hug.

Even though the 4 other members couldn’t  make it to cheer me up.

Their messages will be in my heart.

Zhou Mi, Henry, Kangin and Hankyung sshi.

And my lovable petals and sweet ELFS.

Who cared for me.

Who understand me with any of my decision.

I thanked them.

And I thanked God. Who never get tired of guiding me for these years.

I thanked you.

...Lady HeeHee, Queen of Imitations.

Heedictator and the King of Twitter.

is Signing off.