when i first made this story i was heart broken over the people who judged sulli, and my heartached whenever i thought of her being sad. in this story many people loved and cared about sulli, but it wasn't enough. it wasn't enough because she didn't love herself and she couldn't fight the inner demons in her.

while i was writing this story, i could imagine the pain. feeling worthless despite of those people around you, wanting only to be better.

on december 18, 2017, around 6:30 pm; the news of jonghyun came into light and my heart broke. i've been a fan of SHINee since 2009, and i love them all so much. i can't fathom how much jonghyun suffered, he was loved by millions and hew knew that, and it might have a big reason why he held longer to us. he wanted to get better, he asked for help through a doctor but they only blamed his personality... so jonghyun blamed himself as well. i cry whenever i think of him being alone that night, i cry because he might have felt scared, i cry knowing that this could've been prevented. 

depression is such a painful word, it comes and goes, but when it comes... it hits you hard. the loneliness just keeps you in until you contemplate why you're even there, what's your purpose, and how much you feel like you don't deserve it. you think how much you just want to end the pain. but listen, when you're in the brink of losing hope then think about that one little hope. that hope of getting better.

give your