Being perfect has always haunted Jongdae like a never passing, cruel dream.

He wasn’t the best student in school. No matter how hard he tried, math and chemistry were such obstacles he could barely overcome. He was great at the other subjects (his history and literature teachers were even proud of him) but thanks to the nightmares mentioned before he could never make his parents happy with a perfect certificate.

Jongdae got in to the university he wanted but wasn’t among the most talented students. Sure he could finish in time without failing as much as Chanyeol for example (fortunately the latter realized literature is not his thing and switched to music before it was too late) but still, he was never the one who got the recognition, opportunities or scholarships.

“You don’t have to be perfect when you’re good enough”, Jongdae’s father often said when he heard about his son’s lack of success. “You’re good, Dae-a. Be grateful for what you have.”

Jongdae tries. Experiencing enough almost-theres, he realized the best (and easiest) would be just being satisfied with what he has, seeing his life as perfect.

But it’s hard.

It’s not about wanting to live a perfect life. Jongdae can live without perfect (he’s been doing well ever since so) but is not willing to stop and stay in place, missing out on all he could have. Jongdae wants to experience as much as he can, wants to make the best out of what he has let it be anything. He doesn’t want monotony reign his life and if he gives in, doesn’t crave for more or simply looses interest that might happen.

His father is right about what he had said but that’s not what Jongdae’s problem is.

Jongdae doesn’t chase perfection.
But he wants to see how far he can reach.

The fact that his older brother, Jongdeok, moved to the other side of the country with his fiancée doesn’t help on that. Jongdae was left with no choices. It would have been too much for the Kim parents losing both of their sons so Jongdae stayed in Seoul as their parents hoped, getting job at the nearby bookshop and occasionally helping out at the district’s biggest library.

“It’ll be more beneficial for you if you chose a different path”, his favorite professor had said when Jongdae told him about his dream job, teaching. His words came true.

The afternoon finds Jongdae arranging some books a teenage girl had ordered last week. The Last of the Mohicans, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Great Gatsby… This girl has a taste. Most children in her age read fantasy romances not classics.

“Have you had a good lunch break?”

Jongdae clumsily drops The Great Gatsby as Junmyeon appears from nowhere, leaning on the bookshelf.

“Ah, sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“I didn’t want to startle you.”

Jongdae flashes a careful smile at his boss before picking up the book and putting down the rest in order to prevent the earlier accident happen again.

“I was deep in thought. It’s really okay, hyung.”

Junmyeon nods awkwardly.

Silence.

Jongdae picks up the books and check their titles once again. It would be really embarrassing if the girl gets other than what she had ordered.

After two minutes of no more noises, Junmyeon clears his throat.

“I was thinking…”

Jongdae becomes alert and abruptly stops in reading. Sure the blurb of To Kill a Mockingbird is interesting but what his boss is about to do is more important than that.

It’s something Jongdae has wanted to get over with ever since he got employed at the bookshop “El Dorado” but so far something always came in the way.

But maybe now it finally happens.

“Yes?”

Jongdae doesn’t want to sound too annoyed (or the opposite of it) but Junmyeon looks so hesitant it irks him to no end.

“It’s been four months since you’ve started here, Jongdae. And I’m satisfied with your working but –“ Junmyeon scratches the back of his neck with an awkward chuckle. “Ah, how should I say it in order not to make it sound wrong?”

Jongdae lightly leans on the bookshelf behind his back.

“I’m all ears, hyung.”

Say it, damn it!

Junmyeon lifts his gaze from the ground to his employee.

“I was thinking if you could maybe –“

“Hello, is anybody here?”

Junmyeon stiffens and the words stuck on his throat.

“It could be important.”

Jongdae would really like to bang his head into the shelf next to but no, it’ll better if he bangs Chanyeol’s instead.

“Yeah, I’ll go.”

“Here you are!” Chanyeol exclaims loudly, seeing his friend back behind the counter. “Caught up in bookstoring?”

Just then Junmyeon passes by them, heading to the staff room.

“Hi hyung!”

“Um, hi Chanyeol.”

When he’s gone, Chanyeol turns to Jongdae mortified.

“I interrupted the moment, didn’t I?”

“Great timing.” Jongdae answers dryly.

“Hey, how would I have known your boss is about to take The Question if you’re hiding between the shelves?”

Chanyeol is right. But Jongdae still feels frustrated because of what has just not happened.

“He’s been doing this for months.” He whines. “It’s so awkward I can’t take it anymore!”

“Why don’t you ask him out?” Chanyeol suggests with a sly grin. “That would speed up the process.”

Jongdae snorts.

“Who said he was about to ask me out?”

Junmyeon is Jongdae’s boss, his hyung with three years. He’s lived in the city for just as long as Jongdae has but unlike his employee, Junmyeon has an impressive student record behind his back and a bright future ahead of him. His family is one with power and fame, one from the upper class. There’s a long list of politicians and entrepreneurs recorded their history, guaranteeing Junmyeon’s life will always be on the right path, no loss or dissatisfaction.

He’s surely not the type to turn gay, especially for somebody like Jongdae.

Chanyeol doesn’t agree with his friend on that.

“He totally has that look when he’s looking at you.”

“You’re seeing things.”

“Yes, I do. I see how things are and you don’t.” Chanyeol points it out.

Jongdae flips through the account book half-heartedly.

“Nobody knows around me I’m gay, Chanyeol, except for you. Hyung is just… has something other important to ask.”

To be honest, Jongdae purposely doesn’t think of this opportunity because he himself isn’t sure what his answer would be. It’s been long since he dated anybody but to date his boss, the golden child… he’s off limits, right? Not to mention, society would flip with the parents of both Kim families at the front.

And even if others’ opinion and possible contempt weren’t hanging above Jongdae’s head, does he even consider Junmyeon that way? I mean if there’s no attraction the slightest bit Jongdae doesn’t have to be freaked out over whatever Junmyeon wants to ask for months now.

Too bad Jongdae is such a coward he’d rather not face his answers.

Chanyeol rolls his eyes.

“Keep saying yourself that.”

“If you only came to getting on my nerves, thank you, I’d rather have that another time.”

“Oh right! They’ve dropped something by my shop today and I’d like to ask you to keep it.”

Jongdae mentally facepalms at Chanyeol’s fantastic memory.

“Why?”

Rather than “what”, regarding to Chanyeol “why” is the most important question to ask. Namely Jongdae’s ex-classmate and employee of the music shop at the other side of the road is very likely to get into trouble and then instead of solving the problems he himself caused alone, he asks for help, putting friendship on the line.

“It’s not important. It’s enough if you keep it here for a while –“

“Chanyeol.”

Jongdae is nowhere the intimidating type for first look, he’s too small and bony for that, but if he puts some seriousness in his usually cheerful voice or uses his sharp tongue for a degrading comment slash piercing quip, he can be scary enough to reach the impact he wants.

Chanyeol sighs defeated.

“Okay. So an interesting looking guy brought in a magnificent piano at noon and it’s not even cost that much, I could totally afford it in a month or two, it would be such a waste put it on display and let somebody grab it before me but you know Sungwoo hyung, he’s watching me like a hawk or something, I forget to dust off a triangle and my paycheck suffers the loss, I can’t let him catch me hiding an instrument supposed to be on sale so please, continue being the awesome friend you are and let me put the piano here for a while.”

It takes some minute to process Chanyeol’s rant but when Jongdae does he reacts with a shake of head.

“We’re a bookshop, ‘Yeol.”

“Exactly! People come here for books; they would think of it as part of the furnishing. This is a totally foolproof plan, ‘Dae. Believe in me.”

It does sound foolproof but…

“I’m just an employee. What if Junmyeon hyung opposes the idea?”

Chanyeol smirks so wide, the corners of his lips almost reach his earlobes.

“I doubt he could say no to you.”

“You little !”

For Chanyeol’s luck he’s out of the shop before Jongdae could grab the first book in hand to throw it at his friend.

“I’ll come back later for approval!”

“Hope you take forever!”

... and that's it for the 1st chapter! How do you like the beginning? What are your first impressions? Write us a comment and let us know what you like and what you don't. We're happy to interact. ^^

xoxo, bea