Chapter 7: hard to understand but overall it's pretty good for someone who is still learning the language. Keep on fighting. I can tell you this, English is one of the easiest language so hope you improve and best wishes.
Chapter 7: i'm not the type who'll leave comments negatively, but i really need to say this..
this story is interesting, but you need to improve your language skill. i won't mind having a bit grammar mistake but if the most of it are wrong, it will disturb the original story plot or twist the real meanings.
and add something like "_____" to show that someone is talking. if you write it continuously, the readers will have a hard time of reading. besides that, the story is fine :)
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