I can't tell you I exactly understand how you feel, but here I am telling you I've been through the same thing if not barely similar. Yes it feels hopeless at times, but it's okay. I've listened to a poet who once said that whatever you are feeling right now, there is certainly someone out there who feels the same way as you are. And for God's sake this is not to say you're not special, this is to say THANK God you're NOT. Not the exact words though, but it gets across to you.
As a writer let me tell you one thing about feelings and emotions, embrace it even if it hurts. It makes you whole and whatever you're going through now, things get better. Only you can do that though. I am always bad at trying to comfort, but I hope what I offer here though it may be a little too late, may help you hold on. You only have yourself after all, and that is to say again, thank God you have your own majestic self and you'll be okay.
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