Uhhhh... So hi oppa... umm... can i like... vent for a little... so.......... where should I start...... Well first its finally 2015 and I want to start freah but....... I can't too many memoris flood my head over and over.... And I just hurt... I wish I was fluent in Korean so that way I won't have to worry about people understanding....... 제발...... Can I just like hurt myself real bad this year so I can stay in the hospital.... Please!!!! I just want to forget everything.... everyone..... every memory I have because it hurts to have them..... Why can't I just be like everyone instead of nobody..... I'mso uun-noticed by people and it hurts... I don't like it oppa and even if I look at you and tell myself be happy I.....I just.... can't..... This is why I sing.... to take thw pain away... to forget the hardships... But oppa I just can't.... I feel like nothing.... like I don't... exist to others.... and I just want yo disappear in thin air.... I feel better now oppa but expect me to write again.... I know I can't handle it.... its better than crying right! I'm such a strong girl oppa... But sometimes I don't think it's all great..... Sometimes I think its too... much for me.... I only try to be strong for halmoni.... Oppa... my heart... hurts so much that.... that I wish... I wish... I could.............. Die........ It hurts so much... that I want to hurt myself.... But I can't....... Oppa help me..... I really don't like this feeling Oppa.... It doesn't feel like me.... It doesn't feel secure and safe..... It feels scary and troubling..... Like I don't belong here..... or even in this world......... I hide everything behind my smile saying things that makes everyone but me happy.... Oppa is it okay for me to do that.... is it okay for me to feel pain.... for me to be scared and troubled...... Oppa what do I do.... My life.... My life is falling apart and it. ... feels.... so.................scary... It feels like something is going to swallow me whole....

I'm nothing...... Nothing to anyone..... I'm just a spec of dust that can't be picked up even by a vacuum..... I'm..... I'm the odd one out.... that can't handle being left alone even if it meant just sitting there doing nothing..... Oppa.... I think I'm fine now.... just tired.... But deep inside... broken.... sad..... hurt...... scared.... worried..... and cold.......mostly cold..... I could go on but no...... I shouldn't..... Oppa please help me.... please..... I need it....... so badly..... I'm slowly dying on the inside..... 

"Your lips say one thing but your eyes intend another......"