"When you care about something, you will start to afraid of losing it"

tbh, I've never taken care any cat before. because i know when i start to love and and take care of it, I'll start to afraid of losing it.

but lately, my world has changed totally after I met a kitten and I named it as Snowbelle because his fur is so white like snow.

my love for Snowbelle has grown day by day.

I took care of him and spend most of my time taking care and playing with him. 

His cuteness has made my day everyday. I laugh when I saw his cuteness and cry when he is sick.

Yeah. when he was sick, I was really afraid until I stay up late just to take care him and make sure he can sleep soundly.

My family got no idea why did I behave like that because all this time they thought I hate cats.

but the fact is I'm just afraid if i lose it when i started to love cat.

I always have this kind of thingking "I can take care of Snowbelle and grow old with him" 

Thats why I bravely made the decision to love and take care of him.

I thought I did well but, Snowbelle is sick right now. and the afraid-of-losing-him feeling starts to haunt me and makes me feel guilty for not did well.

I'm really afraid of losing him. I've loved him as if I love my own blood. I really hope that he will get well very soon so I can play with him again and make me smile everyday.

Snowbelle, please get well soon. I love you. So much. 

 

3rd December 2014. 9.29 am.

Today, I woke up very late and I'm sad. really sad. not sad because I woke up late but I'm sad because I'm too late to see Snowbelle for the last time.

After I woke up, I look for Snowbelle in the living room.

Then my brother approached me and told me that Snowbelle has gone. I could feel my world is crashing on that time upon hearing the news.

I stepped backward and go to my room and cry. I opened my 'galery' and look at Snowbelle's pictures slowly. 

Throwing back to those wonderful moments that I had with him. It made me wants to cry out loud but I can't.

I.. think it's all my fault for not being good in taking care of him.

I'm sorry, Snowbelle. 

I hope you will be happy up there and look at me down here who is still longing for you and loving you.

You're the best kitten that I've ever had.

I'll cherish those moments that we had together all this time.

The moments that you had me laugh and moments that you had me loved.

I can never forget you, Snowbelle. 

Rest in peace, my baby.

Your love,

fatyn_