Title: I think the author chose wisely. It wasn't too long, but it did foreshadow a bit, kind of told me what to expect the story to be about.

Description: The discription was good up to a point. "That day. I sang my heart out for him." This is incorrect. In the story she didn't even get a chance to sing.

Plot/Originality: The plot, the plot. What can I say? It was different yet cliche all at the same time. I think they could have done better with it if they did a little more brainstorming. 

Language: There were a lot of places the author used a period where they should have used a comma. Also, I think the author should go through the story and correct typos as well as the way they chose to word some things. Some of the story was a little difficult for me to read because of awkward wording.

Character: This is where I'm going to get extremely strict. The characters' personalities were extremely inconsistant. One minute she is scared out of her wits, the next she is cocky and manipulative. Which can work if you go about it the right way. Also, I undersand that this is the author's story and not mine, and maybe she meant for it to be this way, but there were a lot of highly unrealistic situations.

ex.

1) From what I have learned in psychology classes and have seen on t.v in justice type shows, victims would not have reacted the way your main character had. Not matter how differently he acted after his high was gone. She would have been traumatized to the point where she would have broken down and the mere sound of his voice. The thought of even seeing him would have freaked her out to the point of a mental breakdown.

2) When I was about fourteen or fifteen, I was living with a male family member who was doing drugs aand drinking. (as you had used in the story). While he was on it, he was jittery, had an extremely elevated mood, he was energetic and couldn't slow down to save his life. He had an increased sense of energy and alertness. He would be paranoid and restless, his pupils would be dialated. He would literally look strung out. The reason for this is because is an upper. The way he was described in the story was lazy and slow moving, these would be the effects of a downer.

3) Now for the next part of the drug usage, although has a reputation as an aphrodisiac, it actually may make you less able to finish what you start. Chronic use can impair ual function in men and women.

4) People who are coming down off of and going through "widthdraws" will experience epression and anxiety, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, inability to feel pleasure, increased craving for and physical symptoms including aches, pains, tremors, and chills. My suggextion is that the author do their homework on drugs the next time they choose to use it in a story.

5) When she was being pulled out of the karaoke bar and bystanders saw, they would have been all over that, specially if they saw a girl struggling or if they saw him "attack" her the way that he had.

6) When papa yg sent her to another one of Jiyong's houses, fully knowing what Jiyong had just done to her, is highly unlikely. It was basically just throwing her to the lions. With the way the author depicted him as care and sympathetic, that would not have been a place where he had sent her. 

Flow: The flow was choppy, did not transition well from one thing to the next. I would suggest picturing your story as a movie.

Enjoyment: What I did enjoy is that the author did take Jiyong-ssi out of his usual element of the semi innocent idol that we believe him to be. What I didn't enjoy was the way the author did not do their homework on the cause and effects of their drug of choice in their story. I would highly reccomend double checking the work, looking for spelling and puncutaion errors, looking for better and more understandable ways to word things. The spacing, I understand it is to build suspense and  show time passing, but in the story it was excessive. 

My review was meant to be a little critical. It was not to offend them. I said the things I did to help them improve, not to be mean.