The thing I feared the most to every my bias groups has knocking my door once again. The shocking news on BAP nullified the contract and filed the lawsuit against TS on 26th November is beyond my estimation. Yesterday, dated on 27th of November 2014 would officially added the dark spots in my life as a kpopper. I'm sad. And somehow relieve at the same time.

I felt betrayed since I put my great trust to TS that they were such a good company that can take a good care of BAP. I was wrong all the way. I had been blinded with their fake drama. And..how much BAP had played along them and conceal their deep down ty emotions behind their sincere smiles.

It breaks my heart on how those smiles actually hiding thousands of sharp thorns in their bleeding hearts. How come a well established company treated them like slaves?!Making them to work 24/7 at the very young age and the maknaes were underage to work and being tortured like that. Why can you just treat them fairly with what they had given to you?They are humans!Not freaking donkeys or elephants that you hit their butts with your sin stick!

Each BAP members just received $500 per month. South Korea is a developed country. How can they manage to live with that small wage?The min wage in Korea like convenience store worker even receive $600 per month!Are you kidding me?BAP is a group of idols earning salaries lower than the dude who works at 7E who freakin sitting at the counter scanning the 's price!Damn you TS!!You motherer hell company $9 millions of profits from BAP's activities and promotions!!

I never had the thought that BAP would be treated this way. I always think that their wallets would be full of bank notes. Once again I was wrong. They never did. And the fans never know bout this before. Because their smiles and sweet words covered their grieves. Their energetic perfectly sync live performances blinded the world. They were hurt inside so damn badly. Just because the 6 boys hold the same dream and passion. Music. How these 6 living souls are so strong against the cruel fate befall upon them? It has been almost 3 years they are holding the pains. How could you stand BAP? How???!!

Never ending promotions, concerts and comebacks since debut. That is crazy. BAP is the only group that I know who work 24/7 365 days without leaves. Plus, difficult level choreography practices and killing high notes vocal lessons. Please.. BAP members are human. They are not machines. Even if they are machines that continuously running without shut down, they would become malfunction too in the end. And that er company would dump them anyway.

The point they waited for Zelo to be at legal age is just crumpling my heart. Their friendship and brotherhood are just so damn pure. The first case ever to be all members suing their managing company. I'm just speechless. How they abled to cope with TS deep s for all these time? 

BAP always want to make their dream to become reality. Bang Yongguk said once before, sleeping is just a waste of time since you can do other things during that time. Yongguk, are you referring to composing songs?Yes. I know you are so passionate and love musics. I just..feel your hardworks are for nothing. Yes. You succeed in sharing your music to the world. But, I don't think this is fair enough for you. You deserve so much more because you are so damn precious Yongguk. Yes. You really are.

BAP never fails to impress the audience even among the idols too. From where you got the strength BAP?Live performance in every music shows and concerts. How come?Don't you feel tired?We can see your bodies actually soaring and exhausted asking for rest. But, no. You denied it. You still straightly standing and move swiftly following the song beats totally ignoring your crying muscles and veins. You still want to show you are the best. Even though you huffed and panting heavily with that pale face, Moon Jongup. The never tired angelic smile always on your face. I just don't understand Jongup!

Even though you were having high fever, warm flushed red face, swollen eyes and warm tears dangerously threatening to flow because of the high body temperature, you still singing whole-heartedly with your heavenly voice, Jung Daehyun. Once, I doubt you were having the straining on your vocal cords bout a month ago. Yes. When you couldn't hit the exact note in One Shot chorus part. At that time, I can see your solemn face. I'm no a doctor to know if you really having vocal cord nodules Daehyun. My ears won't lie to me. I can see that you felt like crying and trying damn hard to keep the notes on the track. No. You look tortured during the performance. Somehow you still can put the performance smoothly. I can't get it!

Same goes to the youngest. Even though you were coughing badly and still having cold, you still want to be on air of broadcasted radio. I could see the eyebags and your damn pale face, Zelo. But still..you put the mic on and rap with your hoarse voice.

Yoo Youngjae, I know you hid your pains pefectly somewhere inside your souls. Your laughs did conceal the pains. But, your eyes tell the other way. You always want to prove you are getting better every day. Yes. You are doing great now Youngjae. But please know you limit. You are getting skinnier and paler as the days passed. Why fate is so cruel upon this hardworking soul?

When you suffer the pain, you always telling others that you are okay. Contradicting with the nature, you are the one who comforting people who worried about you. You weren't there during One Shot promotion. BAP wasn't complete as 5. Whenever One Shot is perform as 6, only then my heart feel at ease. With casted hand, you came the fanmeeting in the freezing temperature wearing the warm toothy smile with those pair of sparkling eyes full of sincerity. Your big heart never fails to warm people, Kim Himchan.

I lay my faith on BAP. I know that they are doing what is the best for them. Somehow, I respect their decision. They have the rights. And I believe Bang Yongguk and Kim Himchan are seeking the justice along with the dongsaengs.

The outcomes from this cruel issue might varies. Either BAP wins or loses the case, I don't in care. I don't want to hear about that. I just want them to be forever 6 and they will not stop making good musics for the fans out there. I don't want them to stop because of this stupid blood er leech company.

I just want to see Bang Yongguk, Kim Himchan, Jung Daehyun, Yoo Youngjae, Moon Jongup and Choi Junhong to be happy. Even though my hope and dream to see them performing live right before my eyes already shattered, I hope these 6 precious persons would be together forever and always.

This is my first time I shed tears after knowing this heartbreaking news. I hid the lumps and restrained myself from crying like a baby yesterday. But, when I'm writing this blog post I cried in silent. I love BAP so much and they are one of my sources for the damn happiness in my plain life. Whatever hell it is, I'm always with BAP.

#ForeverWithBAP