Let's say I have a troubled relationship with EXO. I kinda like them, but I'm not exactly their fan. I write fanfics about them, but I'm not their fan. I guess I'm just satisfying my writing pleasures. Summing up, I'm nowhere near an EXO-L (, even the name sounds weird), but I still give a about them. Especially about ChenBaekSoo + Yeol (I kennot with them).

However, I do belong to a fandom and be ready to be surprised: yes, I'm an Inner Circle (a.k.a WINNER fan). Yes, I do have to cope with YG's crap. Yes, I do have to cope with other fandoms' crap. Yes, I do have to cope with their crap. But I still like those dorks. Especially Kang Seungyoon.

So, as you must know, it's the MAMA awards and heck, WINNER was nominated for Best New Artist and Artist of the Year. Hoorray. But, , EXO is sharing the nomination (the last one). And seems like EXO-Ls (still sounds weird) and teaming up with GOT7's fans (nominated for Best New Artist). Oh, shoot.

I'll admit, I did vote for EXO for two categories: the Best Male Group and the Best Dance Performance (or something like that). Whatever, I prefer EXO out of all male groups besides WINNER, so of course I voted for my fanfic muses (ew, sounds so gay). However... shoot.

I confess I did vote for WINNER for at least every category they were in. So, it means I chose them over EXO (ouch). I hope my readers (who must be coping with my crappy hiatus and obsession for writing fics out of nowhere and then deleting, rewriting, editing, etc), who are probably EXO fans, won't be offended that I cheer for WINNER. And oh, crap. Nearly all the fics I read are from EXO-Ls. So, maybe I'll have to read cheers for EXO in the author notes.

I can't help but feel bad for every reader I have, because gosh I'm writing about their beloved idols, but I'm still voting and cheering for others. As much as I'd like voting for my beloved vocal line and even if I'd choose Miracles in December (favourite EXO song) over Color Ring (favourite WINNER song) anyday, I'm still, in the end, an Inner Circle.

Such an unnecessary post, but still sums up what I feel. Basically, this is how life for writers-slash-fans. Particularly mine.