To Sungmin, Super Junior and ELF

Well, where to start?

First, I hope my point of view won't offend someone, it isn't my intention to hurt anyone.

 

Like with all things in life, this isn't black and white. There is no right and wrong. Just a lot of feelings, in this case, hurt feelings.

I do understand ELF who feel betrayed. As far as I'm informed, it's not the marriage that is the issue but the way Sungmin handled it. I guess most ELF just wanted him to be the one to tell them, to trust them. Trust is important. It takes a long time to create trust, yet it's so easily broken. Disappointment is such a harsh feeling and it can shatter a lot.

ELF are strong yet oh so vulnerable. Some are so devoted cause at a crucial and bad time in their life they found a haven in super junior. Now they feel that haven was false.

I think this was equally hard on Sungmin. He fell in love. I can imagine how happy yet scared he must have been the past months. Happy cause he found someone and scared to death of fans taking it bad, for possibly ruining the dream of the members. The guilt must have been awful. I also understand his behaviour. Even the signature issue. God, the ridiculous stuff I do cause I'm in love. I see how it lit up his life so much he had to put her in there. I don't believe there was any malicious intent, it just shows how hopelessly in love he is. He must feel so torn.

And me? I feel sadened. I understand all parties. The hurt and angry ELF. The other ELF that can't believe the first group and rage on them and finally Sungmin, stuck in the mess he partially created out of helplessness.

Love is so beautiful. I hope you all experience it in life. I hope the ones hurt will heal and I hope Sungmin has a happy married life and will be blessed with children if he wants any.

Big hug,

Lillie

 

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LessPants #1
well said <3
eunhae1307 #2
In my point of view, Sungmin did a fair job in this situation but he could have handled it better. But whats done has been done. There's no use crying over spilled milk. He may have hurt us but at most he realizes it and he did apologize for it. It was hard for both him and us.

In all honesty, I was totally saddened about it the first time I read the article of him confirming his marriage (I won't be able to ship KyuMin now. T_T). I still need time to process my emotions but this won't be the reason Im leaving the fandom neither will it be in the future. I know I'll feel 100% happy for him as time passes by. I just hope this love is worth the pain and hurt.

ELFs let's prove to our boys that they can fully TRUST us and LEAN on us. Let's build a stronger relationship more than anyone can build!!!

SJ fighting~~ ELFs fighting~~
4everlovingkyu #3
Hmmmmm.. I agree with you Lillie..

Although I totally don't like all the comments and words that hurt, angry ELFs threw at Minnie, it might have been prevented if Sungmin told us. But the fact that he's in love and that he's getting married, which is a happy event in his life, isn't the best time or reason to be angry at him and throw those comments. I totally get the feelings of ELFs, I mean, I CRIED when I saw his letter, and I kept on saying "maldeo andwae"... and then realization struck me.. It's okay for me to get hurt and bash Sungmin coz he didn't tell us the best way possible and he's totally not hurting over this, but it's not okay for Sungmin to love, get married, be happy, have a family coz he hurt me. I don't think this is the right thoughts about this.. We, ELFs, must understand his situation and he will understand us too.. LOVE IS GIVE AND TAKE.. GIVE, in this case, give Sungmin what makes him happy and that is in being in love and getting married.. TAKE, in this case, our feelings of hurt to turn into FORGIVENESS and MORE TRUST.

What if other members would also get married, and lots of ELFs would be angry and hurt again? Are we gonna have another round of apologizing and saying "I'm leaving ELF coz (bias/member) is getting married and i'm hurt" although the said member did it the right way?
ACCEPTANCE is hard, but it's the only way for all of us, Super Junior and ELFs, to be the most loving, strongest, and biggest family we could ever be..
Let's all be strong and believe in Min! ^^
missminnie1007 #4
well said. im happy for him. im sad that there's ELFs that left because of disappointment but still i hope that they dont hate SJ because of this and come back when their heart heals. :)
HYUKslave #5
Well said lillie.
Indeed it's pretty disappointing to see how he handled the situation. For he always be the mature one in SJ in my opinion.

But love change people. Even my friends who are his stans finding it hard to believe, and feel like they don't know him anymore.

And from my experience and also people around me, korean men are indeed losing their sanity when they're in love.

So yeah, hope all the best for the marriage -- worthy of this pain we all felt
mahymiroz #6
Yessssss well said, you said everything I wanted to say and I hope all the ELF will understand and support all the members.
This is very sad situation for all the members cause it will get them scared in the future to get engaged and be open and honest about it.
I really really hope they'll understand this and try to support them.
Lovechild1015 #7
I'm a hundred percent agree with this!
I'd be lying if I said I'm not upset and disappointed, but again we got no say about his personal life. We're his fan, that's true, but being fan doesn't mean we can demand him this and that moreover about his own life decision and in this matter its his couple and marriage.
I can understand for those who are angered by him not telling us by himself and all, but I just hope just they need time. After all he's still a human, no matter how strong he appear in front of us he will still feel hurt when he see the people who had been supporting him all this time wants him out of the group instead because of him and his lover.
Thanks for this blogpost :)
marilynminghyuk #8
Thanks.
I don't think he handled this tactfully and feel quite dissapointed. But that was it.
I still want him in suju. And I want him happy, too.
moonberries #9
I agree with you. All I wanted to voice out is already here. Let's continue supporting no matter what then :3
lalophobia #10
I felt like he handled it better than most and I'm SOOO happy for him. really all suju members need to get married now if they're going to because if they wait much longer they'll be considered older parents and that's not good ;-;
mika_lou #11
i support sungmin, i want he be happy.
mina2270 #12
YES YES thanKyu :(( Sungmin just acted clumsy with this situation cuz HE IS IN LOVE and THE CRAZY FANS scared him :(
poor kid...
kyuririn #13
I'm glad u wrote this. I'm happy and support him as long as he happy but what makes us hurt and disappointed is his attitude and how he handle his thing. And the timing ..... Their promo album isn't finish yet but i wish the best for our boys. Tkyu Lillie *hugs*
lolitta #14
your words are always perfect . this is exactly how I feel , I'm happy he is marrying but he definitely should have handled his situation better to avoid all of this mess. he broke their bond of trust and that is really impossible to rebuild. why hide such an important event that will sooneror later come to light. this Iis not about fand controlling or them ewanting to be his girlfriends it's about them being ever lasting friend and friends need to be entrusted with matters like this . if he had let things go slowly al throughout the moment he decided that she was the one till now it would have went much smoother.
anyways I hope things will brighten up in the near future and I hope the other boys. will learn from this too as to calculate every thing and try to keep the love of both sides intact.
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