The past 11 days have been completely gruesome for me. Jessica not being a member of SNSD anymore crushed me into a million pieces that I'm too broken to be fixed. Everything reminds me of her and I can't help but feel the deadly pain in my heart giving way for my tears to freely fall down. I can't even listen to their songs because all I do whenever I hear her voice is cry. Seeing her pictures, their pictures, brings more tears. I can't even read fanfiction because reading her name gives me a lot of heartache. Sadly, I even have a story under process that I can't continue writing because the last line that I wrote was said by Jessica. Reading that line alone leads to me breaking down. Then, just to add to my grief, Luhan left EXO and I'd be damned because I was writing a sequel for 3rd Choice, where he's a freaking main character. I really want to continue all of my pending stories. I really do, but how? How can I when all I do is break just by thinking of them? I'd still try my best. I'd still do what I can with the stories. Maybe I can live through my stories where SNSD is still 9 and complete, and where EXO is still 12 and one.