Everytime I read people fics especially those with good writing I feel my self confidence going down and down. Sometimes I was writing fic and take a break by reading other fics but I instantly lost my will to write when I see how well other fics were written. I am not blaming them at all more like I am dissapointed with myself. I love writing but not good at it. I should read those beautifully written fics and learn from them instead I was feeling ashamed when I compared them with my works. I tried to finish my work before reading other fics and it helps a lot. But once I posted my fics I have thought that why I posted this crappy this. What if those good authors read my fics? I really wanted to delete all my fics but I love them. They are my hard works that I made out of pure love.

           I don't really care about subscribers or comments (but surely i love and really appreciate it), as long as people enjoy reading my stories. But this thought keep coming to me. The shame of having lack writing skills slowly eating me. Will there be a time when I can write so beautifully that people will remember my fics for a long time? I hate myself for feeling down instead of learning from those good fics. I was at fault here, I admit.