cr to Koreaboo

Hello, this is Jessica.

I was given a notice of departure from Girls’ Generation by my agency on September 29thh, and I cannot hide my shocked and upset heart about this, so I’m here to reveal my feelings.

I have always put the activities of Girls’ Generation’s before my business and personal life as a member of Girls’ Generation. However, despite my efforts for the team, the agency asked me to leave the team.

As I was planning on creating the business I have shown a lot of interested in before, I sufficiently consulted SM as well as the members regarding my preparations many times, asking for their understanding.

Up until the beginning of August when I was launching ‘BLANC’, I had made agreements and received permission from SM, and congratulations from the members as well.

However, in early September, after only a month since the launching, the members suddenly changed their position and held a meeting, and told me to either quit my business or leave Girls’ Generation without any justifiable reason. 

I explained that I had already received permission from the agency, that I had never neglected Girls’ Generation’s activities, and that I could not suddenly halt my business due to my contract with my business partner after a month. 

Ultimately, I pleaded that it was unjust for me to have to make a choice. Becoming a Girls’ Generation member was the best thing in my life, and I had never thought about quitting.

Shocked about this, I had met with the agency CEO on September 16 to convey my position, and once again confirmed their permission for carrying out my business.

However, on September 29, I was given a one-sided notice asking me to leave Girls’ Generation. Due to this, I was also unable to attend the fan meeting in China on September 30, and I have also been excluded from following Girls’ Generation activities.

I have received great pain and cannot hide my sadness that I was asked by the agency and fellow members, whom I’ve spent 15 years with putting in all my passion and effort, to leave Girls’ Generation just because of the reason that I’m starting a business.

I also want to apologize for causing concern to all the fans. Please understand that this situation is not at all what I had wanted, and that I’ve always treasured Girls’ Generation, and that I will continue to do so. Thank you for always supporting and loving me.

Sincerely,
Jessica

Of course, no one knows how sincere this letter is, even Jessica and the people involved because memory and perception is skewed for every single person, especially the ones closest and the most affected by this situation. For all we know, delusions can still exist.

But two things I'd like to say about this, just something to think about:

1) HOW IS THIS LETTER SO CALM???

Like dang, if I was kicked out of something that I spent at least a decade of my life on, I would be crying well raging with a poitned stick while feeling like my heart has been stabbed a bunch of times.

Of course though it's the next day so prehaps those feelings would be subdued, but still, I have no idea how to be even COHERENT. 

Whether my reaction means I'm skeptical of Jessica being sincere or I admire how she can write with such poise, I suppose it's a little bit both but either way I cannot see myself doing something like that. Thank god I'm not a celebrity, right? XD

2) I think this letter kinda furthers my point, which helped contribute my disillusion of KPOP:

Idols may spend a lot of time together as trainees, get to know each other well, BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY THEY'RE COLLEAGUES.

Are they sisters? Brothers? Nah.

Most of time, I feel like the idol groups are created because these are the trainees who have the most amazing talent or perform the best together. Yeah they've come together through this common dream, but that doesn't mean they came together because they were best friends or something. This is companies that bring them together, not similar personalities or outlooks on life.

It's kind of like my flute section. I can play with my two fellow first flute players REALLY well because we've played together for more than two years now, so we know what to expect from each other, how to adjust to each other, etc. But they're not my best friends. Sure we hang out during concerts and when we're in other ensembles, but we also know that's our only similarity. If I chose to do something that compromised my flute playing ability and as a result my performing ability suffered, they probably won't fight on my behalf to keep me as a first flute if my director then decided I wasn't good enough to be first flute. 

ANYWAY I hope not much suffering continues, this whole thing in general kind of >.<